How can it have only been half a year when she has so wholly filled our hearts?
Today is my girl’s half-year mark.
Six months ago on a sunny afternoon, her little body slipped out and I reached out to grab her. Six months ago, her eyes met mine and ripped apart my soul, stretching it to fill what would follow…just love.
And in six months, I have learned more the deep truths of motherhood and life and accepting the ebb and flow of life’s events and molding my perceptions like clay, rolling them out, kneading them over and over to make something beautiful.
We all have our journey, we all have our souls that mold us whether they are young or old, different from others or very much alike. We all have stretches in our life that are difficult to tread and so we take our time and walk slowly and carefully, learning along the way.
So much I have learned…and so much I still have to learn.
But, right now…in this moment…I have so much. My expectations of these months have been so far exceeded. In this moment, I have her. Her little body that molds across me, her eyes closed, her arms stretched out above her, her song of breathe-and-suck, breathe-and-suck humming as she falls asleep against me.
Nella, you were so very meant to be. And while I thought I had life figured out, I realize no one really does. Life is too grand to contain into the box I thought it should fit in. And it is made up of so much more than I thought I’d ever know.
I don’t know the answers or the future or what it all means. But I do know I was made to be the mama of two sweet little girls, each destined to fit into our family in their own unique way. Watching you fill your space with squinty-eyed smiles and cuddles that mold into our nook has been beautifully soul-stretching. And I yearn for more…for what I will learn being your mama, for how we will love as a family. For many birthdays, picnics, Christmases, coffee mornings, late-night movies and hand-held walks to come.
One thing is certain. You are ours, Little One. And we are blessed.
And on this half birthday, I love you a whole bunch.