10 Ways to Get Your Mom Mojo Back

This post is sponsored by Born Shoes as part an ongoing partnership to highlight their fall collection and wave my fall freak flag.

Disclaimer: When I was writing for baby sites a couple years back, I learned a lot about clickbait titles. I’ve never been very good at titling my posts because it’s usually the last thing I do, so I often just pull something from a post and throw it in a title, but I noticed editors were great at changing my titles to make them sound exciting–often more exciting than my piece actually was–and I paid great interest to their titling techniques. “MY BABY HAD A ROOT CANAL!”, for example, is far more interesting than “Mom Guilt and Dental Health.”  And numbered posts? Who doesn’t love a Top 10 List? Whether or not I care about what the list is about, there’s something riveting about the fact that someone actually got the list down to 10 ten things, and I just have to know what they are. 10 Ways to Fix Your Transmission, you say? Oh my God, DO TELL.

I thought these boring subjects turned into clickbait titles were pretty funny–or should I say “WHOA! You Just HAVE to See How Clickbait Transformed These Subjects!!!!!!!!!” My favorite–Oliver Twist, turned into: Watch This Kid Burst Into Tears When He’s Refused Some More Porridge.

I suppose I should pay more attention to clickable titles–throw more exclamation points in there, a little drama: “Why I’m Failing As a Mom and You Are Too!”–but my brain isn’t very good at that. With that said, I do have a 10 List today because I love me some Tens.

I’ve been comparing my motherhood days lately with my early motherhood days, and it is much like looking in the mirror and comparing what I see to what I saw ten years ago when I shopped at Charlotte Russe and wore leggings as pants. Moral of the story: People change. I miss the more patient me though–the one who took pictures of poured out Cheerios and taped them under “Motherhood is Funny” rather than “I’m Losing My Shit.”

Do you know I used to spend entire afternoons reading books on the floor with little Lainey while scrapbooking motherhood gratitude journals? It’s not even feasible today with schedule juggling and the demands of three kids. But I do love when I find that motherhood mojo again–when I look in the mirror and am reminded of the beauty of change. When, at the end of the day when I’m lying in bed nine years and three kids in, I still feel like a brand new mom holding my baby for the first time…lucky. So grateful for the adventure.

My 10 sure-fire ways to reignite that mojo, even on the hairiest of days:

1. Get away FROM the kids. Ironic, yes, but it works. You need to breathe for yourself before you can breathe life into motherhood, so get out the door and go find a coffee shop. A bookstore. A TJ Maxx, a Whole Foods, a pottery class, a sushi joint, a hotel. Be by yourself. Journal. Harmlessly gossip. I can leave my house on a Saturday morning for my “Hour of Power” thinking I might never come back, and every time I pull back in my driveway after some time alone, my heart soars at the site of my kids running to greet me.

2. Get away WITH the kids. We’re on a little staycation right now, and I can’t tell you how great it’s been to be away and not have laundry or cleaning or e-mails to keep me busy. Our job is simply to HAVE FUN, and it makes me appreciate these little kid days so much.

3. Stop, Drop and Read. Curling up on my bed with my kids and a stack of picture books is always, always magic.

4. Write a Letter to Your Child. Nothing makes me go from “I’m Losing my Shit” to “Life is Beautiful” more than writing. Every time I challenge myself to write a letter to one of my kids to be read later by them, I always soften and feel that surge of love come rising to the surface.

5. Go Outside. Go to a park, head for your backyard, sit in your driveway. Give your kids some sidewalk chalk and bubbles, and watch them play.

6.  Make a 10 List. Just like this one. “Ten Things I Love About Lainey at 9 Years Old.” “Ten Things I Love About Nella at 6 Years Old.” “Ten Things I Love About Dash at 3 Years Old.” It pulls you out of that “pining for the baby days” and helps you focus gratitude on RIGHT NOW.

7. Balance Glossy Parenting with Keepin’ It Real. Nothing makes you feel like a bad mom more than surrounding yourself with perfection. I love Pinterest and pretty parenting magazines and following beautiful feeds on Instagram, but I make sure to intake things that balance all that–reading books that dig into real life challenges, talking to friends who keep it real, following people who are open about what parenting really looks like.

8. Be Spontaneous. I am so inspired by spontaneity and can’t tell you how many times I’ve been inspired from throwing the kids in the car and doing something crazy. Driving 40 minutes to a beach we’ve never visited before, cashing in that Groupon coupon for a family salt cave session, telling the kids we’re going on an adventure even though I have no idea where we’re going. A change of scenery and the excitement of adventure can do wonders.

9. Tell Your Kids Their Birth Story. Out of nowhere–when the house is a mess, and one too many kids asked you for a drink. When you’re a hair’s breadth from losing it, call everyone to the living room. Sit down, invite your kids to circle around you, and one by one, tell them the story of the day they were born. Include all the details.

10. Go Through Your Pictures. Keep a folder of pictures of you with your kids. If there’s not enough pictures in it, make a point of getting more (self timer, ask your spouse, a friend, take selfies with your kids). Print your favorites, create a book, look through them often.

Wearing my favorite fall shoes right now, these Jolene heeled oxfords.