A dear friend turned 40 a couple weeks ago, prepping the path for me by just ten months but enough to give me a heads-up of what to expect. Not surprising, her insight is the same thing I’ve heard from other friends who’ve turned 40 recently. “I know it sounds strange,” she told me on the phone this week, “but I swear when you turn 40, some switch just turns on and suddenly you quit putting so much effort into caring what people think.” My best friend has been preaching this since she turned 40 last year but states it a little more eloquently as “Zero Fucks, man. That’s what forty is.”
My friend went on to explain that it hit her–how good this feels to not care so much–when she slipped down some stairs in front of some people last week and bumped her tailbone pretty hard. “I’ve always been the kind of person who would jump back up and assure people, ‘I’m okay, I’m okay,’ no matter how bad I was hurting,” she went on, “But you know what? It hurt like hell. And when people came to see if I was okay, it felt good to say, ‘That hurt really bad, and I think I need to sit here for a moment.’”
I’ve been thinking about that and how much I too can feel myself settling into a more comfortable place of “It’s okay.” It’s okay not to jump up quickly after we’ve fallen. It’s okay to accept help that’s offered. It’s okay to skip chaperoning the field trip, or wear overalls at 39 even though your dad always asks if the Clampetts had a garage sale, or open the door to a friend who’s stopped by and not apologize for the mess. It’s highly likely no one’s thinking what we think they’re thinking about us because they have enough on their mind, and it doesn’t matter anyway.
And when you call T.O.D. on all that unnecessary caring (*surveys people looking at me, glances as watch: “That’s it. I’m calling it. Time of Death on what they think of me: 11:49. We’re done.”), there’s room for so much more enjoyment—we’re talking true deeply-sensed savoring—of life and its little moments.
Besides, you don’t need to worry about getting the house clean when company’s on their way because I have that covered for you this week. I’ve written about the highly effective frantic half-hour clean-up before company arrives, or “The Shakedown” as my sister has named it, and this week I’m sharing my twelve tips for mastering it. Print this out, slap it on your refrigerator, and next time you feel paralyzed looking out at your mess after you’ve received a “We’re on our way!” text, follow these simple steps for whipping things into shape.
Need some sing-into-the-broom upbeat songs that will keep you moving fast while you’re cleaning? Here are a few of my favorite Clean the House tunes:
I Love It by Icona Pop
Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice
Pump It by The Black Eyed Peas
I Want You Back by The Jackson 5
Want to Want Me by Jason Derulo
September by Earth, Wind & Fire
Bust a Move by Young MC
Roar by Katy Perry
Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough by Michael Jackson
Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order