Brett’s Amazon Picks (and mine too because his kind of suck)

Before we start, you need to know that…

A: Brett’s been asking me to feature his best Amazon picks on the blog for, like, two years.
B: If you follow on Instagram, you’ll know I tease him a lot about his Amazon purchases. Brett’s Amazon Picks is practically a trademarked phrase.
C: Brett loves Amazon like Kanye loves Kanye.

That said, you should also know that Brett’s Amazon picks are often weird random items, sandwiched between “As Seen On TV kitchen gadgets” and “Elephant Gift Stocking Stuffers” in the abyss of Amazon search pages. Scanning our recent Amazon orders has become a favorite entertaining pastime of mine, often followed by, “BRETT!!! SERIOUSLY?”

May I submit Evidence A:

His explanation was a simple, “What? I thought they’d be funny.” Recently I noticed he had ordered a can of spray oxygen–wait, let me repeat that–A CAN OF SPRAY OXYGEN that promises to “boost your mental sharpness.” I kid not. However, in his defense, he has scored some really cool things, thanks to midnight search sessions and his Amazon search method that, I’m sorry to say, is classified information. And while I cannot help but roll my eyes when I open a box to find another set of salt and pepper shakers that look like Mason jars (“because you love jars, right?”), I have come to appreciate his quirky Amazon buys and the way he uses it to show love. Last summer, when we were at my dad’s cabin, he sent Amazon care packages with little things he thought of on his own–a summer wardrobe of Barbie clothes for Nella’s dolls, “mosquito repelling stickers” that didn’t work, some washi tape for Lainey’s scrapbooks. And who else in the world can say they own a pair of large mouth bass slippers? Not many. Proud to be a member of that club.

With no further ado, I give you Brett’s favorite finds on Amazon, most of which I’m pleasantly pleased with. I’ve followed his list with my own favorites and things I frequently get questions about on Instagram–to balance out the random gadgets.

1. Microfiber Sweeper Broom
   This was during his Broom Obsession of 2017 that ended after three purchased brooms and a come-to-Jesus from his wife. After I cut him off, I admitted that this broom really is amazing for wood floors and that I’m glad he bought it. We can go a long time between vacuums with this baby.
2. A Tomato Clip
   Yep, you read that correctly. A clip. For your tomatoes. So you can keep them in place while you cut them. Because lots of people complain about keeping their tomatoes in place while cutting??? (note: so many question marks). I’m not sure, but I do know that when this arrived, Brett was stoked, and now whenever he sees me cutting a tomato au naturale, he yells, “Wait, wait, wait,” runs to his kitchen gadget drawer, pulls this thing out and hands it to me with a satisfied smile that suggests he just solved the world’s biggest problem.
3. Lobby Dustpan
   Purchased shortly after his broom obsession (“What? It’s a dustpan, not a broom.”), this makes me feel like a professional janitor, and I love it. We sweep a lot with three kids, and this saves our backs.
4. The Grate Taco
   I have nothing to say about this. But you need to know that as I’m in my office putting this list together, Brett’s yelling things to include from the kitchen, and he’s adamant I include his grate taco. I can’t.
5. Ace Can Opener
   Excitedly, he enters office. “Oh, oh! Tell them about the can opener. The best can opener in the world. Write that.”
6. Flameless USB Lighter
   “How did you even find this, Brett?”
   “I know, isn’t it cool? No flame. And it charges instead of butane.”
7. Solar Torch Lights
   Another obsession period, these were purchased during the “Light Fixture Phase” that is, I’m sorry to say, still going. Cabinet lights, under counter lights, landscape lights–the man loves him some lights. These ones scored him some high fives from the neighbors and, okay, me too. They’re solar, and the light looks just like a flickering tiki flame. He’s very proud of these babies.
8. Rabbit Wine Corks
   Let’s just say when people come over our house for parties, Brett likes to take them to the wine bottles and give them a 10-minute sales presentation on these corks. He thinks they are the greatest invention on earth.
9. Rainbow Detangling Brush
   This one’s just sweet because, unbeknownst to me, he researched brushes that don’t hurt for detangling Nella’s hair and found this. And the girls love it, and every time they express their love for it, he says, “See, I know Amazon.” And he calls it “Daddy’s brush.”
10. Egg Circles
    For the record, I don’t understand these. I like my fried eggs to fall where they may and firmly stand behind the “eggs aren’t supposed to be perfectly round,” but Brett considers these one of his greatest finds and uses them when he makes us breakfast sandwiches.
11. Silicone Pot Strainer
    Okay, okay, I’ll give him this one. I actually think this purchase may be the beginning of his gadget phases, but we do use it a lot and skip rinsing a colander thanks to this nifty little snap-on strainer.

Mama’s turn. These are the things I get asked the most about on Instagram, but also some Amazon secrets of mine that I love telling people about.

 

1. The Summer Backpack
   After an extensive search for the perfect backpack for summer travels, I landed on this one and I’m obsessed. First, it’s only $32.99. But the best part is that it’s super cute and is the best backpack to keep me organized–so many pockets! Technically, it’s a diaper bag, but it doesn’t really matter. It’s deep and roomy, so it holds my camera and an extra lens plus whatever else I like to carry. And it has a slot on the side for travel wipes, so I can pull a wipe from the pocket without opening the bag–which I’ve found is the most convenient little feature with three kids and constant messes. I’ve told several friends about this who’ve also bought it and texted me that they love it.
2. Wooden Tetris
   I’ve had this on other lists in the past, but I still love it–a wooden mind teaser puzzle that’s really just a real life Tetris game. We have two so two players can race to finish theirs, and we leave it out so guests can play while they’re hanging in the kitchen.
3. Best Affordable Kids Quality Underwear
   I fell in love with these underwear and ordered a few packs once I saw how great the quality was. They’re the good thick cotton, not like the thin ones that tear away from the elastic band. I love the fabric waistband and the sweet simple prints. I get these ones for girls and these ones for Dash.
4. Enamel Cup Set
   I fell in love with Best Made Company’s Seamless & Steadfast enamel cups but am currently choosing not to afford a whole set of them. I did find these ones though which are perfect–still fun and campy. We use them for everything–water glasses, entertaining, wine, cocktails.
5. Mesh Produce/Beach Bag
   These bags are super versatile, and I keep them in my garage. They work for the farmer’s market, grocery store or, my favorite, the beach. I can throw sand toys in them and give it a good shake to get the sand and ocean water out of it.
6. Floating Picture Shelves
   We use these in our living room to display framed photos, but they also work great in a child’s bedroom or playroom to display children’s books.
7. Wall Hanging Note Roll
   Every time this shows up on Instagram, I get so many direct messages asking where I got it. I’ve seen them pretty pricey other places, and this one was under $40. I love it and use it all the time. It’s displayed in the main area of our home, and it’s where we write out our seasonal bucket lists, display favorite quotes and notes to each other and draw art.
8. Pom Pom Earrings
   Loving this current pom pom trend and riding it out with these fun earrings under $10.
9. Our Driveway Chalk
   This is what we use for all our sidewalk chalk drawings. It’s super pigmented and offers 64 different colors. It takes longer to wash off, but it does eventually come off. And besides–we like our masterpieces to last.
10. Kids Retro Knee Socks
    These turn any kid outfit into a cute fashion statement. I love them with dresses or shorts, and lately Nella’s been pairing them with little Birks. Three pairs for $12.
11. Wooden Camera
    Super affordable ($11) and adorable both for play or display in a kid’s room, we love this little camera and all the colors it comes in (this rainbow one!). Nella and Dash each have one.
12. Bluetooth Microphone with Speaker
    Alright, grandparents, aunts, uncles, listen up. Next birthday, Christmas, gift giving event–don’t know what to get the kid you love? THIS IS IT. #12 and #13, and it works for all ages. Microphone and disco light. We use these two things all the time. Dance parties, sleepovers, random Tuesday night when Nella and Dash are bored. You can play music to the speaker from your phone, and the microphone works really good. Turn off the lights, turn on the disco light, play some music and hand the kids the microphone. Entertainment for at least an hour. I’ve featured these on other lists, so this is a repeat, but that tells you how much I believe in this little duo.
13. Disco Light
    See #12.