Last night, the kids crawled up on the couch with me to listen to the reading of a brand new book. All three attempted to climb into my lap at once which commenced a short brawl, but it was quickly solved with an awkward arm reach that pulled each of them close and made them all feel like my favorite. I was one page into the book when Lainey interrupted.
“Wait–does it have a bad middle?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You know, in the middle of a story when something bad happens.”
I smiled. Ah yes, second grade writing curriculum. My girl’s learning about narrative writing and the arc of a good story–a problematic middle that gets worked out in the end.
“Oh, I get it,” I answered. “Well, I think the little girl in this story gets lost. Do you want me to read it to see if the problem gets fixed?”
She nestled in a little closer. “Okay.”
We finished the book with Story Arc Detector oh high alert for problem and solution: Girl gets lost. Girl finds her way home.
Though we might not learn the most important life lessons at school (–except the quadratic equation. Thank God for the quadratic equation because I use it every day.), I decided this one’s a pretty good one to remember, and I’m tucking it away to remind my kids later when their hearts feel a little broken: Good stories have bad middles. When life hands over some terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, you have to remember it’s just a middle. And you’re writing a good story. And when it’s your story that has a bad middle, you get to be a part of writing the ending. Of making sure that the bad middle has a purpose and a resolution and a character that finds her way home.
The idea of a life full of bad middles for my kids makes my insides twist, but when I think about it as a life full of good endings, that’s not so bad. They’ll be the authors of so many good stories. As a writer, that makes me proud. As a mother, that makes me happy.
I’m prepared for the next heartbreak, my parenting talk cued and ready: “Baby, this is just a bad middle in your big story. We’ll help you fix it and you’ll write a good ending.”
What was the new book?! I love new, good book recommendations!
I so needed to read this. Thank you.
Oh my goodness Kelle, if only we lived closer to each other. I would so love to pour out our hearts over coffee (ok-or a margarita!). We seem to love our babies the same. Such wisdom! I always tell my kids that things really do work out. However, I love the way you put it. I will have to use your wording next time one of my babes feels pushed in a corner.
By the way, I laughed out loud at your quadratic equation comment. My daughter, a freshman in high school, always makes smart snot comments about math and how often she uses it in her daily life. 🙂
Have a beautiful weekend!
Oh yea…do you have the book “You’re All My Favorites”? It’s a great picture book that I used to read to my kids. There are three little bears in the story. Perfect for your bundles of joy! 🙂
Absolutely love this. Thanks for the reminder.
Love that advice. Those hard things really ARE just bad middles. So true! Why do we sometimes forget that?
Kelle, I find so many of your posts comforting and inspiring. This one, though, was posted at such a perfect time. I am 31 weeks pregnant and got diagnosed with preeclampsia yesterday. The doctor ordered bed rest ASAP. I had to leave my 1st grade classroom not knowing when I would see it or my students again. Today I have to call my best friend and tell her I probably won’t make it to her wedding next week.
So there’s that pity party happening in my brain, then I’m feeling horrible because of all the other emotions. Mad because of this…guilt because I’m mad…fear of this turning serious, but grateful it was caught early etc. etc.
Long story not-so-short, I needed to hear this today. This is just our bad middle. We have a beautiful happy ending on the way. Thank you for this and for all of your other stories that help me believe I can get through anything.
Beautiful post. I hope your kids have lots of happy endings.
Kelle,
I love your ability to see the world. Such inspiration.
– Erin
Brilliant!!!!! I LOVE this idea 🙂
Your words spoke exactly what I needed to hear. Even as adults it’s so important to be able to realize this is just a bad middle… I am still working toward the ending. <3
Excellent way to explain life to children AND adults. Thanks!
What a simple, yet important lesson for all of us to learn. I can’t wait to share this idea with my own children and my students. Thank you for your words of wisdom!
A pretty good school/life lesson indeed! Thanks for the tip, I will use it for sure!!
This might be my favorite post you’ve ever written.
I love this post….I love all your posts but this one resonates with me right now. We are facing some challenges but it’s just the middle…..brings a smile to my heart. Thank you!!
I never comment, but this post hit my heart right when my heart needed it. When most faith is being lost in a blogging world that is filled with more sponsored posts than actual real raw feelings this post reaffirmed my love for blogging. Blogging is about sharing you, real, raw, uplifting, and encouraging. Thank you, and I couldn’t have loved this more. Pretty amazing.
Awesome!
#pith
Thank you. I had goose bumps reading that. I have been through a rough six months and I love that I get to choose how the story ends. My bad middle will definitely have a happy ending!
Good reminders! And I love that she’s already paying attention to this kind of stuff 🙂
This is such a lovely little thought nugget to end the day with!
Favorite. Post. Ever. And that is something because I adore them all. You and your spirit…thank you for sharing. 🙂
Oh my word. So simple yet powerful! I love this!
Lots of lovely writing, these days, Kelle — you’re on a roll.
I loved this post! Being a teacher, I smiled so big when she asks if it “has a bad middle.” What a cutie 🙂
Gosh – I really love this way of thinking. So many times I get caught up in the “bad middle” (the hard days of my daughters diagnosis) but I have to remember that I can choose to make this a great story – one full of hope, love, endurance, strength, and ultimately use our great ending for God’s good.
Kelle,
I often read your blog for a dose of happiness and positivity. It never fails me. But this post in particular was EXACTLY what I needed to read today. I was diagnosed with breast cancer a little over a month ago and just had my first chemotherapy treatment. I am overwhelmed and wondering how I am going to keep up with my three active young boys in the months ahead. But now I realize that I am just having a “bad middle” and things will be better. I will get better and life will move on. Thank you for all you do. You made my heart feel a little less heavy today 🙂
Carissa Hall
Just sent this to someone who is stuck in a bad middle.
It’s hard to remember this when you are in the moment, but so true and so well said.
May need to use this in class!
This is just perfect. What an amazing way to look at life.
this is such a beautiful post!
http://saltskinned.blogspot.com.au
This is just perfect. I am going to put this as my new screen saver – “I’m just in a bad middle.”
Perfect perfect perfect!
Hi – I really loved reading this post 🙂
So much love. Thanks for sharing. It’s one my favorites I’ve read from you since I began following your blog!
Love this! After a rough weekend with my own second grader, with lots of tears after not being able to sleep and having to come home from a sleepover, and then more tears and worries the next day (“I made my friend sad…” “Why couldn’t I just go to sleep like the other kids?”), this is the type of lesson I needed to be reminded of, and that I can pass on to my sweet sensitive girl. This is why I love books so much – there’s always that teachable moment!
This was amazingly profound! I have enjoyed your blog for awhile now, but simply had to comment on this one. What a great concept! I am definitely going to use this in talks with my own kiddos (and remind myself of it from time to time!) Thank you!
Life with teens😁😄
Needed this…beautiful!!
Thanks.
very sweet, simple and profound. thanks for sharing – we can all relate!
Thank you for sharing with us your beautiful words.
First of all, I loved your comment about quadratic occasions and how you use them every day. I sat there stunned for a bit, wondering how on earth you were using them. And then I realised you were probably being sarcastic 🙂
But secondly, and most importantly, what you said about bad middles really resonates with me. My son, Peter, died 2 months ago. He had Down Syndrome (He had a FB page, “Peter Pirie, space ranger”, if you are interested). When he died, and for much of the last 2 months, I felt like my life was practically over, as he was the absolute centre of my life and brought us so much meaning and happiness. With him gone, there was just a huge meaningless hole.
But I am gradually understanding that his ending doesn’t have to mean that the rest of my life has to be horrendous. He hated me being sad, and I would love to make him proud of me by doing something meaningful and valuable with the rest of my life. My life may still be able to have a happy ending, just like you said. It will take some work and effort, but it would be so wonderful to somehow make Pete’s life and death lead on to something good.
thanks for the epiphany… 😉
Oh I love this!
Very nicely written.
Hi Kelle, I cut and pasted this blog post to my daughter. She is a Jr. at college. Just transferred with her AA from Community College. Straight As there and now this is her first time away from home and she got sick right off the bat (throwing up 103.3 fever) She failed her first exams and is now well but a few weeks behind and has to try and pull this grades up. She wants to be a pediatric oncologist, so she needs perfect grades. Today was her first exam that she thought she would be ready for and she doesn’t think she did well (Calculus) I think your words of wisdom may be just the medicine that she needs. ((hugs)) Thanks, Monica
What a glorious story/sermon/life lesson this is! Simply perfect.
As an older Grandma with lots of little ones in the family, my only regret is the middles I’ll probably never see them through. I’ll just trust that a lot of these beginnings, these Once Upon A Times, these There Was Once A Little Girls will help them write their own Happy Endings.
What a blessing today’s post was!
rachel