Before tonight’s post, some housekeeping:
I loved reading through the best holiday gift memories on the last post–so many I made note of and some incredibly meaningful ideas in there. Thank you for sharing.
The #ShareTheWow Maui Jim sunnies winner (generated by random.org) is comment #411, Julie Cosgrove: When I was 7 and my sister was 9, I vividly remember walking down the red carpeted stairs into our basement on Christmas morning. As we rounded the corner, we saw them. Two used wooden school desks with the desk tops that you could put up (and hold up with a ruler!). The pure joy of that moment will never be forgotten…
Congrats Julie, please e-mail your contact info to kellehamptonblog@comcast.net with subject line “Maui Jim Giveaway” and you’ll be rocking some new sunnies soon.
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On to the post. Brace yourselves. We’re talking Jesus tonight.
We’re four days into our advent calendar, twenty-one days away from Christmas, four Hallmark holiday movies into our nightly to-do list, and amid everything I love about this season–the family time, the giving, the wonder, the love–I can’t help but grapple with what I want to teach my kids about the historical and Biblical story behind Christmas.
It’s not that they don’t already know about the story of Jesus’ birth. It’s beautiful history, a story of love, and I want my kids to understand the meaning behind the holidays they celebrate. Even if they are born from just that–a story.
We’ve visited a live nativity in past years. We used to have our own children’s nativity set, but the kids kept running off with Joseph. And then a wise man was missing, next a sheep, and when Baby Jesus finally went M.I.A and all that was left was a stable, two wise men and a goat, I put the last pieces in the Goodwill pile.
I know Luke 2. When I hear it read, I whisper along in certain parts because I have a lot of it memorized. I am fascinated and inspired by the life of Jesus. I’ve read the Bible–so many hours of reading the Bible, it probably tallies up to a surprising portion of my life. And the ultimate lessons of character that the story of Jesus’ life leaves us with–I want my children to know that. To know love and compassion and wisdom and selflessness.
But when I read the Christmas story to my kids and it talks about God sending his son to the earth, sometimes I get uncomfortable. Past Religion Flare-ups…PRF. I love the real story of Jesus as a man, I connect with Mary in a way that any mother who desperately loves her child can, I understand the inspiration behind the deep love of a God who’d send his only son to Earth for us. But my faith is not centered around Jesus, and I don’t feel comfortable with the idea that our salvation hinges on believing that he was the son of God. That all those people who don’t believe that are wrong. I think faith is bigger than that.
My brother and I talk faith almost every week. They are some of my favorite conversations, often lasting over an hour and including excited ramblings and passionate speeches. Today, after reading several passages from “Jesus: Who Do You Say I Am?,” a Life magazine issue currently on stands, I asked him, “Why is it that I have an easier time telling my kids that Santa is real–something I know to be a made-up story–than to tell them that Jesus was anything more than an incredible, inspiring man who impacted our society and showed us God’s love?”
And I think it’s because Santa is a temporary legend, one that begins with wonder and imagination but fizzles, still leaving sweet memories of wonder and imagination. The idea of him feels harmless. I never expect my kids to believe in him past a certain age anyway. Jesus though–with regards to his death and salvation, etc. feels more permanent and complicated–a story that, based on my past, begins with a miraculous event and leaves memories of–well, confusion. With my kids, I’m not ready to go beyond who he was as a man, his message and the incredible love his story gives us.
The thing is, God feels like faith to me. I’ve finally embraced God in this incredibly huge and wonderful way, and I understand the mystery, the beauty, the grace, the love, the purpose and yes even the unanswered questions of God in my life in a way that I feel comfortable living and passing on to my children. I understand that He is many things to different people. But Jesus as the only way to salvation, as the one truth of the many beautiful beliefs and stories out there, as the thing you MUST believe or be eternally sentenced–well that feels like religion, and I choose faith over religion.
Religion made an impact in my life that left a meteor-shaped hole. I’ve come to love the scar and the room it’s made for love, but it’s been years of patching things up. Having had that impact, I take what I teach my children about their souls and their eternity so incredibly serious. I just want them to know faith in a loving, inclusive, free-to-think-otherwise way. Limitless.
One of my favorite Jesus sentiments I read in this “Jesus” Life magazine issue today was surprisingly from Moby. As in techno Bodyrock Moby. “I find Jesus through prayer,” he said. “I try to read the Bible everyday…The notion of Christ as my savior is not something I focus on. I would say that He is. Who knows what happens when we die? I have no idea…I almost wish that life eternal wasn’t part of the issue, because I sometimes feel that it’s like dealing with an adolescent–I’ll let you borrow the car if you clean the garage. I’d rather just clean the garage and not get into this system of doing things for rewards. I have an understanding of the universe as an unknowable but fascinating and wonderful place. I see human beings as part of that universe.”
And I totally get that.
So, we’re here. Digging into an unknowable but fascinating and wonderful place. It’s the fourth day of the advent. We’re talking about Santa and playing along in the imaginative story we enjoyed when we were kids. And yet of course I know that it’s just a tiny part of what I want this holiday to mean to my children. More important, we are creating traditions that celebrate love and family and hope and togetherness and giving and peace. Some might call that Jesus.
I’m really trying to read the Christmas story with more of an open mind and an imagination. To put my reservations and doubts aside and find the most purposeful way to pull the love from such a beautiful story and transform it in a way that feels good to give my children. I don’t have to agree with everything in the Bible for the story of Jesus’ birth to be meaningful.
And this just in: I bought a new nativity set today. With the sweetest little Baby Jesus you ever did see.
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Beautiful post as always!!
Amy http://www.happilyhello.blogspot.com
Every time I hear the song “Mary, did you know?” I weep. “Mary, did you know when you kissed your baby boy that you kissed the face of God?” That line right there changed my life as I held my own boy and realized that faith and God were not about Jesus but about my own connection to the wider world and my little babies. I embrace the teachings of Jesus and love the Biblical history… but all of us are the sons and daughters of God, not just Jesus. (All in my own opinion, of course.)
Well written with beautiful words. I love getting to see glimpses of your journey through faith…..we all have our own faith journey and I love your boldness to share and be real. Thank you.
Um. I really Get This.
Really.
I mean, I don’t have a religious past but this what you say here, is the same way I feel. We are truly living our lives experiencing Heaven (and sometimes hell) all our days. Life is Beautiful. No need to be promised rewards for following the Love driven message of Jesus.
So much to learn, always.
I’m with you.
so beautiful! these are my thoughts & feelings exactly. thank you for sharing this inspiring post!
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“Jeus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth and the life. No man cometh unto the Father but by me.” This is the Bible, and if you believe the Bible then you must believe that Jesus is the only way to Heaven. Whether it “Feels” like religion or not, they are God’s Words.
Always enjoy reading your blog. 🙂
Hey Kelle!
Can I a JESUS-loving girl that loves you weight in?
I think your courage to share your journey through faith is courageous. Although, much of what you mentioned, I will disagree with…my faith and personal relationship with Jesus Christ is not based on legalistic religion or rules or law. I’ve only heard a few bits of your past church experience. I am so so sorry that was your exposure of people that claimed to follow Jesus.
I can say as a girl that grew up around all of it – I can now fully say God/Jesus/Faith/Bible – is something I choose to believe because I’ve experience him in my life not because someone told me to. It’s been a journey for me too – that led me right back to where I started.
You know we share so much in common – a love for our kids. A love to teach them wonderful principles – to love others, be kind, make a difference, give not get, on and on. Thank you for how you do this so beautifully and encourage others to do the same.
I respect you. I thank you for you influence so many for good. And on this day we are wildly opposed – I still love ya big! Let’s keep chatting. 🙂
I love this post and relate in more ways than you’d even believe. Growing up a PK in a severely legalistic and abusive home has left me with such a warped view on religion and the church. I’ve slowly started to find my way. Since having my son, I feel a greater tug to figure out what I believe and why.
Cheers to the faith journey. And again, thanks for talking Jesus tonight :).
Oh, kelle!! I suffer major from prf!!! Although , I am not hesitant to share the story of Jesus with my girls I do truly understand your hesitation with “religion”.
Some of my favorite discussions are also with your brother on these same topics!!! We have had many long debates by camp fires 😉
Faith isn’t weighing on the fact that Jesus was the son, but more so that God sent him to die on the cross, its the greatest symbol He ever sent. Jesus was a sinless man but was punished with death. It’s to show us why we we’re are blameless in His eyes because of what He did. It makes me sad to know that some people won’t make it to Heaven, but I can see God’s reasons. If people don’t realize their sins and that Jesus’ death took all that away, then why do they even need God. If we were all sinless then there would be no need for His forgiveness.
ahhh Kelle, I hope and pray that God is the one who will let you know about his son. Keep asking, Keep praying, He will let you know. No worries. Thanks for sharing your journey, and your thoughts.
There are many paths we can all choose- some that even lead us to the same place. I think everything you are feeling and thinking and writing and sharing is just right. And I’m certain its all perfect for your family. My friend Wendy told me, “I’ve always thought the best way to help people understand and follow God is through your example and you are doing a great job of that!” And I think that about you too.
You may hear your tights are too orange- or you shouldn’t go to the circus or eat butterball turkey. You may hear you SHOULD feel a certain way about God. I think you are doing it all just right though- exactly the way you are. If you listened to the sayers of nay- you would be left to writing about and showing pictures of brown blobs…until the brown blob advocates got wind;-) I am on this journey with you. Socrates says the unexamined life is not worth living. I think that applies to all things- religion too. Examine away. Love, Chrissy (www.lifewithgreyson.blogspot.com)
” You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13. I think we can all agree you have no shortage of heart! I keep coming back here because you write honestly. Thank you for that!
This post and all of it’s comments are exactly why I strayed from The Church, from The Bible, and everything else having to do with faith and believing. Because what one person expresses, the feelings they feel with their entire heart, cannot just be accepted as is. Someone has to come in and tell you that you’re doing it wrong or that they’re going to pray that you get it right or maybe someday you’ll finally understand.
Who’s to say you don’t understand now? Why can’t what you feel and what you believe be enough? Why do you have to do it some other “way”? Your feelings are pure and honest and you live a good life with great intentions. That should be enough for everyone. End of story.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful and articulate post, I cannot agree more. Happy Advent.
This is your journey, Kelle. And it is beautiful. We ALL face that journey at some point or another, as we figure out what we believe and how we are going to live it. Keep going, and you will find what you are looking for. Perhaps I will someday find what I am looking for as well.
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The brilliance of our 1 on 1 relationship with God is that its just that- 1 on 1, with its own time line, its own way of working-like you’re marriage its unique:) Hope you don’t catch too much preaching in the comments, cause when you come down to it, you love GOd, he loves you and he will figure out the details between you two:) Great post- even if my heart feels different we share the same desire to seek God and his love:)
From a Jesus-loving, church-every-week-mama…. Kelle, I love your honesty. And the baggage of the church and legalism and prejudice is REAL, and part of the full story, too. I think that’s partially why in some ways, Santa is easier. Santa is nice and brings gifts. Jesus is God but his followers can express attitudes that are not godly… how in the world do you paint that picture for a kiddo?
Ellie isn’t allowed near our nativity set. I should get a more child-friendly one.
I have a similar religious past as you and am usually put off when a blog I enjoy starts to talk about faith and all that follows. Not in an annoyed way more in a ‘I don’t relate’ kind of way. The wound religion left is deep but like you I’ve made my peace with it and accepted its part of who I am. When you talk about it though I don’t get put off at all. I kind of love the way you approach it with care and honesty. I no longer believe but that doesn’t mean I no longer care, that I no longer ponder or that I no longer search for meaning. xxxxx
You have some great insights as always and Love is the key message of God’s word and He gives us the definition of love…I think the world tries to put it’s own spin on that definition however. Here’s where the problem is in treating God’s word like a buffet..picking and choosing what we want to believe. The Bible is God’s Holy Written Word, and divinely inspired through man to document. So much of it is confusing, uncomfortable, but more of it is Beyond beautiful, and just, and the way to Him. God is a righteous judge who loves and gives us the choice but is filled with grace and mercy!! So I believe God wants us to have the benefits of the narrow road along with the awesome blessings of His favor, love, and many blessings. Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Thank you for your honesty, as always. I’m a just about life-long Christian. Church every week; sing on the worship team; do Bible studies; the whole nine yards. Yet still a part of me struggles. I want what I believe to be REAL, not just lines I spout off to my kids because they are memorized from my past or from tradition. I think without having a real encounter with God, we can’t fathom these concepts that to a human mind don’t seem fair or right. And I think there are many Christians out there doing a lot of pretending and memorizing. I’m just trusting God to not be one of them. Thanks for keeping it real.
Thanks for sha? have come to the place where I accept even the tough parts of the bible because God is God, he’s bigger than me; just as my pets can’t understand math, I will never be able to understand everything he does. And I am ok with that. These days I mostly struggle with myself… but in a good way 🙂 God loves you through your doubts. It sucks that you grew up around a bunch of people who “carried his name in vain”.
I always hide the baby J and he magically shows up on his birthday. My kids have fun with that!
God loves you through you
Thanks for sharing. I have come to the place where I accept even the tough parts of the bible because God is God, he’s bigger than me; just as my pets can’t understand math, I will never be able to understand everything he does. And I am ok with that. These days I mostly struggle with myself… but in a good way 🙂 God loves you through your doubts. It sucks that you grew up around a bunch of people who “carried his name in vain”.
I always hide the baby J and he magically shows up on his birthday. My kids have fun with that!
Gosh I love “”coincidences” I just finished up our morning devotional w kids before off to school and after I left my comment to you . Hoping it offers some encouragement. From josh McDowell
ASK A SILLY QUESTION
You’re sitting in school, listening to your teacher talk. You’re listening, but you’re not understanding. It’s as if the teacher was speaking a foreign language. You feel like raising your hand and saying, “Could you please repeat that? I don’t understand a thing you’re saying.”
But you don’t do that, of course. You’d never do that. You would sooner smear your hair with bacon grease and jump into the grizzly bear pit at the zoo. After all, nobody wants to ask a silly question in school, right?
Well, no matter how silly your question might be, it wouldn’t be the silliest question ever asked. That honor would go to a politician (who else?) named Pilate, who lived nearly two thousand years ago. He stood in an elaborate palace, dressed in regal clothes, and asked, “What is truth?”
“What’s so silly about that question?” you might ask. Just this: At that very moment the answer to his question was standing right in front of him! It would have been like walking into class on the first day of school, watching your new teacher write her name on the chalkboard, and then asking her, “What’s your name?”
Because, you see, the prisoner who stood before Pilate was Jesus Christ, who said of himself, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). When Pilate asked, “What is truth?” Jesus could have answered, “He’s standing right in front of you.”
You see, we generally think of truth as a concept or idea. It exists in our mind as a principle or a quality. But truth isn’t just an idea. It is a person, and that person has a name: Jesus Christ.
That’s why the only way to really understand truth and apply it to your life is by having a real, live relationship with Jesus Christ-because he is the truth! He doesn’t just speak the truth. He doesn’t just know the truth. He is the truth!
That means that if you have trusted Jesus Christ for salvation, you have not only become acquainted with truth; you have the Truth himself living inside you! So you see, making right choices isn’t really about following a bunch of rules. It’s a relation-ship-a relationship with the Truth himself. And the closer you get to him, the more he-through his Holy Spirit-will help you to learn the truth, know the truth, and live the truth.
REFLECT: Have you trusted Christ for salvation? Are you following the one who said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life”? If not, why not? If so, you have the Truth living inside you. How does knowing Jesus help you to obey his commands?
PRAY: “Lord Jesus, you are ‘the way, the truth, and the life.’ Thank you for saving me from sin and coming to live inside me. Help me to make right choices, not by following a bunch of rules, but as a natural result of my relationship with you.”
I love reading about your faith journey. It’s hard for me to grasp how to separate faith, religion, and Jesus because I simply can’t. It IS all centered around Jesus and he IS more then a ‘great man.’ Looking forward to checking out the Life article and reading more about your journey. Keep searching, Kelle. Never give up learning and growing about the wonderment of it all.
I’m so comforted that many who read this blog are Christ followers that can weigh in with the gospel, truth.
I’ve read most of Kelle’s “religious’ experiences and understand how she got there. It was man that messed it up. God dies not do that. Keep your eye on God, not man, as man will fail you.
Kelle, read How Good Is Enough by Andy Stanley. Very short read. It’s very basic get back to the fundamentals. Good doesn’t get us to heaven. Our faith does. A simple concept that Gid gave us, his son, who was born a virgin birth, died on the cross, rose from the dead for us. To wash away our sins. Our free pass to heaven through salvation in Christ.
I would encourage you to read Michael Shank’s a “muscle and a shovel”, it’s a true story of a man navigating his way through the truths of the bible. With so many man made religions people have moved away from the bible and that has caused a lot of confusion. The Sinner’s Prayer being just one of those, not a single person in the book of Acts, or the entire bible for that matter, was saved that way and you won’t even find this “prayer” in the bible. The list could go on and on but I really just wanted to encourage you to keep looking for those answers. I love reading about your sweet family, thanks for sharing your life.
I’m a Muslim and we believe in Jesus as one of the great prophets with God-given powers to perform miracles, the virgin birth, but not that he was God’s son and nor that he died for our sins. To me, he was an inspiration and guide, and a symbol of God’s power, to lead people to God and doing good in the world.
The history of Christmas isn’t black and white, and certainly doesn’t come without controversy. One of the smartest people I know would rant and rave in grad school (theology school) every year about how the Holy Spirit forced itself upon Mary, basically raping and impregnating a young child against her will. She is a gorgeous Christian who loves Christmas, but acknowledges that the story in the Bible is just a story (and one that frustrates her) but it doesn’t take away from what Jesus did.
And then, of course, there is the fact that Christmas was previously a “pagan” holiday that everyone was used to practicing already, so it’s a date early Christians grabbed onto so as to ease in converts. It was easier to convert to Christianity if you didn’t have to give up your holidays.
I actually will be teaching my kids about the history and legend of St Nicholas, alongside the history of Christian Christmas. Between the two I would hope they could learn about giving selflessly, and the difference one person can make.
I love how Bono sums it up in this interview:
Interviewer: That’s a great idea, no denying it. Such great hope is wonderful, even though it’s close to lunacy, in my view. Christ has his rank among the world’s great thinkers. But Son of God, isn’t that farfetched?
Bono: No, it’s not farfetched to me. Look, the secular response to the Christ story always goes like this: he was a great prophet, obviously a very interesting guy, had a lot to say along the lines of other great prophets, be they Elijah, Muhammad, Buddha, or Confucius. But actually Christ doesn’t allow you that. He doesn’t let you off that hook. Christ says: No. I’m not saying I’m a teacher, don’t call me teacher. I’m not saying I’m a prophet. I’m saying: “I’m the Messiah.” I’m saying: “I am God incarnate.” And people say: No, no, please, just be a prophet. A prophet, we can take. You’re a bit eccentric. We’ve had John the Baptist eating locusts and wild honey, we can handle that. But don’t mention the “M” word! Because, you know, we’re gonna have to crucify you. And he goes: No, no. I know you’re expecting me to come back with an army, and set you free from these creeps, but actually I am the Messiah. At this point, everyone starts staring at their shoes, and says: Oh, my God, he’s gonna keep saying this. So what you’re left with is: either Christ was who He said He was—the Messiah—or a complete nutcase. I mean, we’re talking nutcase on the level of Charles Manson. This man was like some of the people we’ve been talking about earlier. This man was strapping himself to a bomb, and had “King of the Jews” on his head, and, as they were putting him up on the Cross, was going: OK, martyrdom, here we go. Bring on the pain! I can take it. I’m not joking here. The idea that the entire course of civilization for over half of the globe could have its fate changed and turned upside-down by a nutcase, for me, that’s farfetched …
Hey Kelle, I was reading your post and it reminded me of something I was thinking about as I read Rick Warren’s The Purpose of Christmas yesterday. So I wanted to just share the notes I wrote in the margin because maybe you can relate:
-God created us, why not just MAKE us love him?
-Well, bc He wants us to TRULY love him so he gave us free will.
– But still, lots of people didn’t, the world got pretty ugly. So He became one of us…a man, a human, someone who feels pain, love,sadness, temptation. All so that he could SHOW us who He is…his true character (not that vengeful God from the old testament). ..and win back our hearts.
– But what’s the point of the whole “dying for us” bit?
-Well, by dying for us, He’s ultimately showing us that he would do ANYTHING for us. Just as we would die for any of our kids. Winning our hearts once again.
– But what about those that take that “message” and throw it out the window. Those who see his love and say “eh, no thanks, not for me.” Sadly, they’re the ones that get left behind
…maybe. I don’t know…I’m not God. But I do know that he keeps trying to win those hearts until our last, dying breath. because he loves us and wants us with him.
My point is, I’m a believer. I love God/Jesus FIERCELY, but even I often have to break things down, dissect them, and make sense of them. It’s part of the journey. And I just know that your journey is going to have a beautiful ending because you have a beautiful heart. So don’t stress it. “seek and ye shall find” right?
I am a prf’er as well, and struggle with so many of the same questions. Thank you for being so honest and sharing your heart with us – even when some of the feedback you get is downright rude and just plain mean. You are a light to me and so many others, Kelle. Much love to you and your beautiful family!!
Beautifully expressed Kelle..many of us feel the same. But …be prepared for the holy rollers to pipe in here with their lectures trying to ram their religion, interpretations and bible quotes down your throat which always seems to happen when religion (a very private matter) is discussed! I love your independent way of thinking..keep following your nurturing instincts and all will be well. Your children are blossoming and that is what matters most.
I like this post. I try very hard to respect and to agree to disagree. I believe Jesus is the only way. However I encourage you to keep digging. We must understand why we believe what we believe. What good is your faith if you don’t understand it. But all your discoveries to test… Jesus did die and did raise and the evidence is not just the Bible. History writes on it. So many fakes and manmade stuff out there to confuse. What makes sense. Keep searching…..if your heart and mind willing, He will find you. Enjoy your blog.
I’ve read all the comments here and I have to say, as a girl who loves reading blogs, that it warms my soul to see how kind and caring everyone has been to this post. That is Jesus right there. So many bloggers get crucified on a daily basis for what they say/do on their blogs. I am in agreement with most on here. Keep seeking and you will find the truth. I love Jesus but sometimes the truth of it all leaves me questioning. But, then it all goes back to faith. Believing in what you can’t see or understand. Our time here on earth is just a small part of our story. Eternity. That is huge!!!! Where will I spend my eternity?? I want to spend it with God/Jesus. When I ask myself those questions it is easy for me to find my way back to Jesus. Back to trusting that he is the way. Love your heart and your honesty!
when you post about faith and your past my heart always races a bit and my fingers twitch when I sit to comment. I get nervous. i’m so afraid of scaring you off by telling you what I believe. I don’t want to be preachy at all, but I figure it’s a topic you want to talk about or you wouldn’t have shared, so twitchy fingers go…;)
forget man. forget the “church”. forget religion. focus on God and a relationship with Him:) read His words Kelle. it was inspired by Him. it’s His truth.
I know you have a painful condemning past…so “working” for your eternity or asking for forgiveness puts a pit in your stomach. it feels judgmental. and the gospel with God giving up His son seems all sorts of weird and wrong. but it’s truth. Jesus came for us. He loved us enough to die and conquer death. He is the way, the truth, and the life and no one comes to the Father except through Him. it is written. we need a savior. it’s faith…childlike. I don’t understand it all either. no one can…He’s GOD.
I want to wrap you up in a hug girl. I have a love for you that I know was given from Him. I’ve never even met you, but it’s there. I pray with all my heart that your searching leads you straight into the arms of that baby JESUS.
Kelle, I love you. You are so inspirational and so full of good. I love coming to your blog to read every post, and know that I can usually count on coming away feeling warm and fuzzy. Or sometimes, motivated. Motivated to be a better person, to be a better mom, and to do better in general.
I also love that you choose to openly share your heart and your faith journey here on this blog. It takes a lot of bravery to put this kind of journey out there for others to read about (and critique). With that said, I have to let you know that my heart broke a little while reading this post this morning. I know that you’ve had some issues with Christianity as a religion in the past, and that makes me so sad for you. I respect that you are working on coming to terms with your beliefs, and am so glad to see you so persistently search for truth; however, I truly hope that you don’t allow your own past experiences to continue to negatively impact the way in which you view God and Jesus. Because there’s truly no way to separate the two. Jesus, as God’s son, was His biggest gift – and biggest sacrifice – to us. Whom he sent for the express purpose of saving our sins. To decide not to acknowledge that gift completely invalidates Jesus, and is akin to refusing God himself. The same way you would feel refused if someone decided not to acknowledge Lainey, Nella or Dash. I know that it can seem narrow-minded or hard to grasp to believe that only people who believe in Jesus as Savior will make it to Heaven; however, it clearly states in the Bible that the path is narrow and not all will follow. We were given free will for a reason, and some will make the choice to not believe.
I really hope that you know that this came to you from a place of love, and not from a place of condemnation or a desire to ‘preach’ at you. Wishing you all the best as you continue your faith journey!
I’ve been a reader of your blog for a long time (love your photos), but your posts on religion have taken blogging (in my mind) to a whole new place. I’m not anywhere near as famous of a blogger as you are, but even with my limited readership, I can’t I can’t imagine opening up on such a divisive topic with so much honesty, i’m in awe. thank you so much for sharing with us, absolutely wonderful post. and regarding the sentiments themselves, i couldn’t agree more.
What helped me better understand Jesus was CS Lewis who pointed out that while we would prefer Jesus to be a great teacher/man/prophet, he realistically was either Liar, Lunatic or Lord. Anything else leaves us picking and choosing from what he said and taught.
Peace on your journey –
Amen. Thanks for the affirmation of faith and love and parenthood today!
I love that you ‘go there’ with regards to religion…I think I may need to write my own Christmas/Jesus post.
Now I’m not singling you out here, but religion often gets blamed for a lot of messed up stuff. And in the context of which you speak I can understand why it gets blamed–the confusion, the hypocrisy (not the little things either, I’m talking about wars in the name of God, etc), the overwhelming guilt. That all sounds and is really harmful. But to me, it’s not religion it’s the MISUSE of religion. Sometimes it’s a problem of doctrine being twisted by well meaning or not well meaning individuals, and sometimes it’s incorrect doctrine. Hard to figure out which is which …and trying to sort that all out well, that’s a whole other post.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, my own religion and it’s people have it’s flaws. We’re certainly not perfect and the older I get the more I see it, and consequently the more compassion I have for myself and others. But I wanted to share some of the things that really do resonate with me–a different way of looking at Jesus, Heaven, etc. Not because I’m necessarily trying to preach to you, but because I imagine this is exactly the type of stuff we’d talk about if sitting around your living room shooting the breeze and you know…sharing is caring. 🙂
I don’t see “Heaven” in the same way as a parent rewarding their child for a job well done. I see Heaven as a choice–in large part because of our choices we will either want to be there or we won’t. (You should really read The Great Divorce by CS Lewis for a wonderful yet fictional idea of this type of heaven.) And the purpose of making good choices isn’t simple a way to separate the good from the bad, but it’s almost like being in shape physically except it’s spiritual–you have to be in shape spiritually in order to handle what comes next. Your spirit and your heart must be right enough to be in the presence of God. And the beauty of Jesus isn’t that He just happens to be the key to our salvation, but that He actually helps us get there. The means AND the end.
And one of the things I really connect to my religion is that we teach we have opportunity to choose this way of life here on earth and in the next life..like you get multiple chances to make this choice. Additionally, it’s not just heaven vs. hell, it’s 3 different degrees of glory and the lowest degree–the one for murderers and liars–is actually a place far more beautiful than earth. To me, the fact that God still wants to bless even the worst of his children teaches me so much about the love and compassion He has for us….
OK I gotta go. Just wanted to share a different take on Christianity… that being said, I don’t have it “all figured out” either. Spiritual things can be tricky to sort through.
I’m so impressed with the kindness and gentleness expressed in the comments. Thank you. It’s a delicate subject, and I am fascinated and inspired by others’ beliefs and love seeing how faith/religion works for people. It doesn’t for everyone, but for some, it fits so beautifully as many of you have expressed here. I like to learn from many different ways of thinking. Not all I will agree with, but I find it interesting. I am especially drawn to those who don’t think theirs is the only right way. :o) Thank you all for gently and kindly sharing. xo
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JW.org
Hi Kelle,
I absolutely love this post and how you wrote about your struggle with teaching your kids about Jesus. I struggle often with faith as well but I have settled on a similar idea of the limitlessness of faith. Thanks for sharing. You’re awesome.
-Madelyn
Kelle, I think you have Jesus and God and faith figured out better than most Christians I know. The desire to know, to learn, to seek is what it’s all about. It’s the journey. We can never know it all or understand it, but we can always strive to. This post made me happy.
God sending his one and only son to us to die on the cross is the TRUE act of love. We, as humans, can’t comprehend God’s love for us because it is so unmeasurable. He did this because Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. Jesus was part man and part God. It’s the most beautiful love story of all time.
Hell is the default, religion or not. Though his sacrifice, anyone who believes in him is eternally saved. He died to save us from an eternity of darkness. The cross is powerful. Warm and fuzzy God is pleasant to gravitate to, but he is also the most powerful creator of all things; we are to be God fearing as well. The Bible is the only truth.
I have always appreciated your honesty, Kelle. It’s what first drew me to follow your blog when you had Nella and posted her birth story. I too come from a legalistic and religious church background and I’ve changed many of my practical beliefs as I’ve gotten older – homosexuality and halloween to name a few. I have learned to balance grace and forgiveness with sin. But Jesus isn’t one of the things I can waver on.
Grappling is good. And to do so publicly is very brave of you! (or crazy – I can’t decide!). As you grapple, I wonder if you will consider what about Jesus is worth celebrating, if not salvation. I admit it confuses me when people want to call him “just a good teacher” or prophet, but deny his very clear and stated purpose. I’m not here to convince anyone he was the son of God, or heck, even that he existed! But if someone believes in his existence without the significance of it, then you have to admit he was either a liar or delusional in his claims. That’s not something I would want to teach my kids to celebrate. Just something to think about when deciding to focus only on his “goodness”. When people think of him as nothing more than a good man, I think maybe they are creating their own version of Jesus to believe in (which, again, is fine, but why create go to the trouble?). All things to process along your journey! CS Lewis touches on this ‘Lord, Liar or Lunatic’ issue in the book Mere Christianity, if you are interested.
God is love, but the God of the old testament was vindictive and our love had to be proven with sacrifices and punishments. Jesus changed that. If you believe in the Bible (which you may not, again fine), you can’t really arrive at “God is love” without Jesus as the bridge to it.
I wish you the best as you continue searching for peace with your past and present faith!
I’m a MORMON, and I love your blog. Your posts are honest, and your story has helped me on my own journey with a child with DS. I know Jesus is everyone’s Savior, and no one is unconditionally damned just because they didn’t have the chance to accept Christ’s Gospel here on earth. We need to embody Christ-like love, just like you are doing, and every person on earth will find their own Heaven after this life. Learn more here: http://mormon.org/beliefs/plan-of-salvation
@Miggy– I follow your blog too so it was interesting to hear your take.
When you say “Your spirit and your heart must be right enough to be in the presence of God” it goes against biblical principals. Once you accept Jesus into you heart as fully believing he is the only way, you are filled with him through the holy spirit.
Also, when you segregate sinners by levels, that is also not biblical. All sin is equal. Jesus said that lust for a woman is adultery which is equal to murder. Once you accept Jesus into your heart you are saved. Sinners must repent of their sins. But this action of repentance does not negate already being eternally saved.
What is confusing to me is how so many aspects of Christianity go against the bible that he wrote to guide us and teach us. Why does this happen? What is the motive of it? Is it the devil to get us further away from the truth?
Food for though:o)
Love the quote from Moby. Living a beautiful life and doing the right things, loving people and having compassion…THOSE should be the focus. I’ve lost focus before. We all do. But it’s a continual process, an ebb and flow of discovery that is all part of this thing we are doing. Life.
While I respectfully disagree with your views on Jesus and God, I empathize with your faith journey. I understand you were scarred by a religion that left your soul desolate. I know this is a process for you.
I used to have a really hard time understanding in my mind why Jesus had to die for my sins. I would pretend like oh I knew why and it was such a great thing. I was baptized and I understood why I had to be baptized into his death and then raised again to new life just as Jesus was. I began my Christian life with the secret that I still really didn’t understand the whole deal.
I will admit that I was well into my 20s before it finally clicked. You have to read the whole story! The ark was a story that points to Jesus (Earth was bad, God hates evil, God destroys Earth except those that believe in him, there is a new beginning for Earth). Ultimately God showed his creation love. The same holds for many other Old Testament stories such as Abraham and Isaac. Isaac’s would-be sacrifice points to Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice. Abraham trusted God and He rescued him and Isaac. God loves his creation but he cannot commune with evil. It’s not part of who God is. Sin separates us from being in God’s presence so we must choose to believe and follow Him.
It’s going to sound weird, lame or even silly but I have been learning so much about Jesus since I started reading the Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones to my son each night. It is beautifully written so that children can understand and it’s helped me tremendously.
I’ve been enjoying your blog for several years but have never commented before. Today is the day! Thank you so much for writing today’s post, it seems to have come at just the right time. I’ve always struggled with religion and faith, but in recent years it has started feeling less like a struggle and more like a search. My sense of faith crumbled a little the day I learned my dad had cancer, and it completely fell apart the day he died. It was all so bleak and dark! I was okay with believing in nothing, for a little while. Then it happened, the day it all turned around for me again. Six months after losing my dad, my daughter was born. The labour was hard, there were complications and finally a c-section. I was in awe by what I experienced, and of the perfect (and healthy!) child I held in my arms. I met God and the universe that day and my faith in a bigger picture came back with a rush. I still don’t identify with any particular religion, but I’m happy to be back on the journey of spirituality. Thank you again for sharing your story and family with us.
I beg to differ that the God/faith you describe is a bigger one.A god that fits into the box of our imaginations, weakly complies with whatever we say makes us happy, and takes back all or part (it’s up to us how much) of what he said in his enduring word… that is no god of strength. I would challenge you to look at fear of God again in a different way, and be open to the possibility that sometimes fear is a wise and healthy thing, a motivator rather than a crippler, and a tool that can bring us into such a relationship with Him that the fear is replaced by love, awe, and delight in His presence. But it must begin by taking Him at His word, believing He said exactly what He meant.Now that is a big God and a good one!Blessings to you this Christmas season!
Love this Kelle. Love, love, love. You write with honesty, which when talking about religion (except when you are very religious) is hard to do on here. It’s such a divisive topic. I think that wherever your thoughts and exploration lead you though, you are on the right path because you are going with it and exploring instead of just trying to do what people say is “right.” And if there is a God, I truly believe you live his message of love and acceptance and peace to a much fuller extent than many of the religious I’ve encountered. Your words sum up many of my feelings about religion and faith and make me realize that there are those of us out there who agree, even if I’m too scared to write about it. I really love coming here and always feeling accepted and embraced. Thank you for putting yourself out there so beautifully. <3
The other thing I forgot to mention was the “uncomfortable” feeling you talked about. In my own faith, I believe that we were never meant to feel comfortable. It’s an uncomfortable situation, that stretches us and requires submission and swallowing some hard facts, if we choose to. I don’t know if comfort = truth. I would like to ignore a LOT of uncomfortable truths about the world and history, but I don’t think that’s always the right approach. Just another thing to think about!
I couldn’t agree more CaitieGeorge! All of the people with their way is the only way, don’t they realize that leaves out most of humanity? I love Kelle’s all inclusive version of faith. i was raised very similar to Kelle, and it is a rough way to be brought up. I no longer believe any of it as real, but I can respect the beliefs of people like Kelle. I have a very hard time with people who believe they are the only ones who have it right. All that does is create an us versus them mentality. Honestly, none of us have a clue, it all boils down to what we personally “believe”. I prefer what I believe to include everyone, not just a few who believe exactly as I do.
Love your blog!
Did want to share that all major religions are mutually exclusive, so Christianity is not the only religion claiming such.
I believe Jesus is the Way, the Truth & the Life. My Savior, the Savior for anyone who would believe. And I believe that God will judge righteously & mercifully to anyone who hasn’t heard about Christ specifically. But God has revealed Himself to every person through natural revelation, the created world.
I don’t believe a child would be sent to hell for what he doesn’t know so I confidently teach my kids in God’s Goodness, which is also a God who doesn’t allow evil to go unpunished indefinitely.
Thanks for bringing this topic up!
I’m going to keep this short: you can tell you wrote that from your heart and I love that.
God works in amazing ways…my pastor just posted on Facebook, “Know anyone who has been burned by church or religion?” I realize I don’t know you personally, but…..his book is free to download this week on Amazon. Check it out 🙂 Steeple Envy by Vic Cuccia.
Happy Thursday to you.
Kelle,
You know my wife, and when she told me about your post, I had to read it . . . I also had to comment. I just had to, because my heart hurts for you. Based on your post it sounds like you have read the Bible a great deal and believe some of it. So, I won’t point you back to the Bible, I will simply talk from personal experience.
I was born and raised in a Christian home and accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was 7 years old. I can’t explain it, but when I asked Jesus into my heart, I experienced something that changed my life forever. I know it was the Holy Spirit that entered me that day. Since that day, I have experienced God’s grace, mercy, protection and favor throughout my life. I have also experienced tragedy, such as my dad dying from lung cancer (unexpectedly) five years ago. He never smoked. It shocked me, made me angry – I felt robbed. I felt ‘broken’ for the first time in my life. Over time, I healed and I know that Jesus helped me through that time. I could not have done it without Him. I believe that bad things happen to us not because of God/Jesus, but because we live in a sinful world. I also believe that when our time is up, it is up – regardless of the fact that God/Jesus can heal us. I also believe in the Trinity (God/Jesus/Holy Spirit). I don’t believe you can separate the 3.
I have seen men (preachers even) fall and do sinful things. Seeing this, did not make me lose my faith in God and Jesus. It made me realize that we are all sinners and need a Savior, grace, and forgiveness. I can’t put my eyes on man and expect them to lead me. I must keep my eyes on Jesus. He has never let me down and never will. Even when bad things happen, I know Jesus is greater and will never leave me alone. There are many churches that take on the from of godliness, but deny its power. Hence, there are tons of examples of people who claim to be Christians, but deny Jesus by their lifestyle. Just as we cannot let other people determine where we live, what clothes we wear, etc. We cannot let other people shake our faith.
Kelle, the beliefs and views you describe in your blog post are very popular today and easy to accept. We like to think we can figure everything out. We also like to think that we are okay (I’m okay, you’re okay). The problem is – we are not okay. I’m guessing, based on your life experiences, you know that “we are not okay.” We are sinful creatures.
You can’t find Jesus with your head. You must find Him with your heart. I think the reason you are struggling is because deep down you know Jesus is the Son of God. you just can’t see it because of the bad things that have happened in your life. Don’t let circumstances keep you from living in true freedom and victory. Believing that Jesus is the Son of God and that we need to accept Him as our Savior, is not religion – it is the whole reason for the Bible. If Jesus is not the Son of God, then there is no need to go to church, no need to read the Bible, no need to celebrate Christmas or a nativity scene. There would be no heaven or hell, just this life. Religion is man-made rules and rituals – like having to wear certain clothes, eat certain food, do something 10 times, etc. Faith is a heart thing – believing in something you cannot see. Salvation is a gift – not a reward for doing anything (like cleaning the garage) other than believing and following Jesus. Moby is simply saying that I want to live my life my way and I don’t need a Savior – really?
I don’t practice any specific religion these days. I suppose it’s cliche to say that I’m spiritual, but truly the one important theme I take away from every religion is love. I remember hearing all the time in Sunday School, “God is love.” Isn’t that what it’s all about? You certainly don’t have to go to church, read scripture, etc. (although if that’s where you find growth, then more power to you) to not just give but to BE that love.
Thank you, this is a beautiful post. Lately I have been thinking about my personal beliefs in God and Jesus a lot. My Fiance and I practice different beliefs, he is Buddhist and I am Christian. We both respect each others beliefs, but my family is not so understanding. My mom in particular has been questioning me about how I will raise my children, when we have them. We decided we will expose our kids to both of our beliefs, but if they decide to follow their own path, that’s okay too.
When my fiance became Buddhist a few years ago I had a discussion with his mom about how both of us were happy that he finally found something that he could believe in and have some sort of faith to fall back on. He was raised Christian, but I would rather have him happy and whole than follow something that he didn’t feel with his whole heart. His church makes him happy, and so it makes me happy for him. My faith makes me happy and he his happy for that.
Kelle….
I have been a stranger in these parts…. We got busy, busy, busy and I disappeared for a while!! It feels so good to back!! 😉
Wait. What? It is twenty-one days until Christmas? Well, actually. It is twenty days now…. Whoa!! ;-D
We always set up plastic Nativity Scenes in our house for us kids to play with!! I used to reenact the entire story!! Especially Mary’s parts!! Now, I have one set up in my bedroom where my nearly two-year old niece, Little Munchkin, can play with!! Baby Jesus has been previously pulled from His manger, so I’m afraid that He will be my first MIA character!! Note to self. Glue!! 😉
The Birth of Christ is an incredible Miracle, what with God placing His Son in the womb of a virgin, what with Jesus coming to save His lost and hurting people. An incredible Miracle. Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life!! ;-D
–Raelyn
PS. I still believe in Santa Claus–even though I know that he is imaginary–because that’s part of Christmas magic!! And I’m pushin’ thirty!! 😉
Kelle, I think it’s incredibly awesome and brave that you have used your space here to open up about your struggles with religion, Christianity, and faith. Thank you. As you’ve been clear about how you’ve been hurt in the past by the church, I pray that the comments you continue to see on here are full of respect and kindness.
As you continue to think and “mind-wrestle” with God and what you believe about Jesus/faith, I wanted to share with you a quote that has helped me a lot. I, too, have asked myself questions of who Christ really was and this quote by CS Lewis in Mere Christianity (fantastic, amazing book) helped me so much. I lovingly and gently caution you to be careful with what you do with Jesus–lest you or anyone else make him into someone who he never was and who he never claimed to be–simply a good man. He claimed to be the Way. If not true, He is not a good man, but a master deceiver or mentally insane. Blessings and prayers for your journey, and thank you again for sharing and for your honesty!
“I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.” CS Lewis
Man oh man…FarmGirl Paints summed it up perfectly with the itchy fingers comment…I’ve been reading your post and the comments and just DYING to say something. But where to start?
I guess let me start by saying that all of what I’m going to say comes from love. Please know that if I didn’t love you (and anyone else who might read this) I wouldn’t even comment. I’d just go on my merry way and forget about it. But love is poking me on the shoulder and whispering ‘speak up!’ in my ear.
I think that a lot of confusion comes from trying to separate God and Jesus. I’ve been a Christian since I was about 15 but I grew up attending church, going to Sunday school, etc. I had heard the story of Jesus all my life and yet…it still didn’t click with me (until I was 26/27 years old or so) that God and Jesus are the SAME person. One and the same. What helped me understand was a book (fictional, with some doctrinal errors, but with a wonderful overall message none-the-less) called The Shack. That book describes the Trinity like this: “We are not three gods, and we are not talking about one God with three attitudes, like a man who is a husband, father, and worker. I am one God and I am three persons, and each of the three is fully and entirely the One,” (p. 101). So you see, by placing Jesus in this spot of ‘less importance’ we are placing God there as well and that just doesn’t work. He is the Alpha and the Omega…second string just won’t cut it.
I am so happy to see that you keep digging to find the Truth. I’m sorry to see that man did the damage that you’ve suffered, but know that God didn’t help them. He doesn’t create division and pain or enjoy it. He CURES it. Keep digging,Kelle! Just please don’t rely on man-made answers that ‘feel good’. He is the Truth, the Light and the Way – we cannot and will not understand everything that He says (He is GOD after all!) and sometimes what He says won’t feel good (Sin wouldn’t be a temptation if it wasn’t something we WANTED to do). But just trust Him. He’s got this!
You are brave! God Bless you as you seek to know Him more. I am on very much the same journey here. Religion is such a road block to faith. But we need community too…. so hard.
I am also a lover of all things magical and Santa related. The thing that inspires me to mingle that with the Nativity is that St. Nicholas was inspired by the gift God gave us in Jesus. I keep telling my kids that they can be Santa too, they can give the joy that they receive by giving to others like God gives to us.
Thank you for giving us your words! Love your blog, I am always so encouraged here!
Kelle – Thank you for sharing your beautiful journey of faith. As a Christian it makes me ill to think of how parts of the Church have injured and abused people – I’m sure you know you’re not alone in that. I’m sure you know this too – there are many Christians (I’ll define Christian as someone who believes that Jesus is the son of God) who don’t view Jesus as the gate-keeper who sentences people to hell for not believing the “right” things. He is so much bigger than that and to be honest, I don’t believe that people have to believe Jesus is the son of God to have eternal life. I’ve been a Christian all my life, but I continue to ask questions – especially as I teach my children about faith. I’m sure you’ve had people recommend tons of books, so I hate to be another one of “those” people, but you might like books by Rob Bell if you haven’t already read them. They offer a different kind of Christianity and acknowledge all the damage the church has done. I love hearing about your journey of faith, especially as it pertains to what you teach your children – because even as someone who is firmly in the “Christian” camp, I am very careful about what kind of faith I’m passing on to my children.
@BMarie82–
That’s the problem with the internet–there is too much time to say just enough, but not enough time to really clarify or talk through.
I probably can’t go toe to toe with anyone on the Bible, but if I’m not mistaken the Bible sure can contradict itself sometimes. What I was trying (probably not very well) to explain are beliefs based on modern revelation and other scripture–2 things very significant in the LDS or Mormon faith. Yes, I’m one of those. 🙂 In person we could probably have a good talk about these things–probably not see eye to eye, but maybe understand each others points of view a little better.
But at least I can give good internet hugs.
((((HUGS)))))
What a beautiful way of looking at things. Thanks for sharing. I love hearing other’s struggles with finding their own faith as it is a universal feeling and helps me clarify my thoughts and feelings. Thank you.
Thank you for this post. I have been struggling with this exact same thing for a long time. You could not have said it any better. I am glad I am not the only one to feel this way. It’s nice to know other’s aren’t afraid to have conversations like this. Growing up in the south it has been hard to express your view points on religion and faith without feeling like you are an outcast.
Inspiring and thought provoking as always. Thanks Kelle- and to all of those who comment!
It is so inspiring to me to hear about how you embrace the things that make you uncomfortable. You’ve mentioned it before on your blog and you highlight it in this post as well. You have such a positive and healthy relationship with things that challenge you – you see all this potential to let them make you grow and become a better person and mom. Reading posts like this really help me to work through rough family pasts of my own – thank you for sharing : )
Oh Kelle, I would love to chat faith with you! I loved absolutely EVERYTHING you wrote. You see, I have an interfaith marriage – my husband is Jewish. In many ways it has made my own faith stronger, but also allowed for a little interpretation. All of it feels right for our family and the values we hold dear.
I love how the comments have been kind and gentle. Love your blog. Just wanted to say that:)
Love that you’re grappling with this for what it really is – a relationship. And those worth having don’t always come easy. I think that’s part of why He chose to come as an adorable baby…let the love come first, then the rest will follow.
Just on the off chance that you really do read all of the comments….. I, too, am encouraged that you are struggling/digging/questioning/trying to figure it all out. You can’t seem to get away from God – He is drawing you – and that is just as it should be. I was there once myself. I sought the Truth (whatever that would be) with all of my heart, and He showed me. Just me and God – no church, no outside opinions. His Word spoke to me very clearly. The people in your church past (family included) may have done a lot of wrong, may have caused a lot of hurt, but it doesn’t just therefore mean that their core belief system was/is wrong. God doesn’t make us perfect, until Heaven. He gives us His Holy Spirit upon salvation, which should result in some changes in our character/life that would be evidence of that. Unfortunately, as we all know, and you are especially keenly aware, Christians are capable of error and doubt and fear and disobedience, and generally making a mess of things. God forgive us for our bad testimony on His behalf! “Christians” are also capable of putting on a good show of believing in something when, if fact, they don’t truly believe at all. Easy, comfortable, “to each his own” – these will never work. Jesus is the only way to God and to heaven.
I have enjoyed your blog for quite some time now, and sincerely pray only the best for you and your family. Have a wonderful holiday season!
Thanks so much for posting this. It takes guts to put it all there for everyone to read. This is especially true for matters of faith.
You are an inspiration!
Wow! I was just thinking last night about this very subject. Having grown up hearing Jesus is the only way, it’s frightening to think differently now. I wish I could be more open like you, but I know my family will just think I am not “saved” and that I’m going to hell. Why scare them? Thank you for sharing your journey, it’s nice to know I’m not alone.
I loved your post. I”ve been reading Marcus Borg and he helps me put my intuitive faith into perspective. Speaking Christian and The First Christmas are really good.
You are so brave to be so open and vulnerable about your journey of faith. It’s painful to read about the pain you were caused by “Christians”. When people ask what I am, I tell them I’m a Follower of Jesus. The word Christian has lost it’s original meaning – “Little Christs”. I am sorry that you have been hurt so much.
I can see that you are seeking Truth. I pray that God grants you the courage to keep seeking.
I am one that believes that Jesus is the only way. “I am the way, the Truth, and the Life.” I believe that without a doubt. It’s not fun to believe. I wish there were an easy way in. Sometimes I even wish I could get there on my own good deeds. But if I believe that there are other ways in, I’m throwing the Sacrifice back in God’s face.
I too am on a journey. I want my relationship with Jesus to be one that help me grow in my faith. Currently I am blessed by something a friend said “God is about more than just escaping hell. [There] is a sweet peace and a joy in just letting someone bigger than you take over and make those perfect decisions for you.”
God bless you on your journey.
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I just love reading your words. You write so eloquently that I feel as though we were having coffee on a nice big cozy couch with our littles playing around us as we talk faith. It’s such a gift, Kelle. There are moments I read one of your posts and I know I want to reply but feel like the words I write are so jumbled and confusing that many times I can’t understand them. I’ve written this before to you, maybe in an e-mail, maybe on instagram, but I come from what they call the “Bible Belt of the Midwest”. Maybe every midwest state is called that in places, but it’s really hard to live here and not feel like less than everybody else because my ideas on faith and God and Jesus are constantly changing. What’s more is that I’m open to change, and that’s really frowned upon here. Anyways, I guess what I’m trying to say in this long winded response is that I’ve always always always loved your writing since I started reading, and I always felt connected to you because of that, but I never found anything BIG that we had in common (like a child with Down syndrome or being a stay at home mom)until you started talking about faith. I know you know you touch lives with your writing, but I just want you to know you touch mine daily. Maybe someday the stars will align and we can have a cup of coffee. I would love that. 🙂
So I read this and most of the comments. I’m a serious atheist. A daydreamy atheist who often prays to ‘something’ when I’m on a bumpy flight and often thanks ‘the universe’ when something incredible happens, which is many times a week for me.
As surely as those state -very respectfully in this comment section!- that they believe in God and Jesus with all their hearts and cannot fathom a life without their faith in that, I can state that I cannot honestly fathom believing in it. I cannot begin to understand. My world has been pure atheism most of my life- Vermont is the most secular state in the nation, seattle follows suit- and even now in the South, none of my friends are believers. To read these comments is like culture shock to me! So far from my world.
(Funny thing I should point out here is that my best and oldest friend since childhood, Cassie, is big-time christian!)
Just like many have said, its heartened me to see different views expressed with nothing but love and respect. Still, I bristle when I read people ‘beg’ me to accept Jesus. I feel there is something inherently condescending about that. I feel extremely passionately about my own convictions and my belief in science, evolution and atheism with a strong dose of agnosticism, but I’d never beg you to believe what I believe.
Ok, what is my point here. Excellent question and I don’t really know…..I think I wanted to voice the opinion of someone like myself, a strict atheist- I wouldn’t even call myself ‘spiritual’. It can be pretty intimidating to have zero faith, and be very happy with zero faith, and voice it in the light of comments from those who believe.
I am very interested in the history of Jesus, and all the myths, legends, people, stories, events, that led to the creation of the bible and the current religion we call christianity. But I see it in terms of historical fascination, nothing more.
It’s cool that people of such varied opinions and beliefs read your blog and you have such a wide audience. I’ll be the first to admit I make divisions! When I hear someone is religious, my first thought is ‘well, we’ll probably never be friends!’ even though that is absolutely untrue. Anyway, I’m always happily surprised to find real common ground between myself and religious people, and it seems like your blog is just that.
Either way you look at it, judging from the comment sections, you really nailed it with this piece! VERY well done!!
xox
lina
Something my father taught me from a very early age, and something I believe (and the Catholic church and my current UCC church believe, along with many others) is that you’d be surprised who’s in Heaven. And in a lot of ways, the end goal of Christianity shoudn’t be Heaven. Yes, heaven’s great, but we have a bigger job: that’s bringing the kingdom of God to Earth, and that’s more about loving in the here and now, and fixing our broken world by putting the pieces of humanity back together one at a time. Because God loves all of us. He wants all of us to succeed. We create our own hell in our lives by doing things that separate us from God, however you believe that that’s happening; it’s a very personal thing. That’s why Jesus gave specific answers to specific people about how they could be with God. I think people who are closest to God are the people who are actively seeking Him, those that are waking up every day and saying “I want to know God more, and do what he wants me to do.” Jesus is hard for a lot of people. He’s been commodditized, whitened, packaged, and sold to our culture. He became the blonde, blue eyed guy in the picture. We forget that Jesus was homeless, a radical, and probably kind of smelly. Jesus isn’t supposed to be comfortable. He’s supposed to challenge everything we think we want or place value on. He’s supposed to make us go to uncomfortable places and ask ourselves real questions. Honestly, if you’re looking for a spirituality that will make you feel good about the status quo, Jesus isn’t it. The book that helped me see this (and the dude with dreadlocks that helped me see this) is called The Irresistible Revolution: living as an ordinary radical by Shane Claiborne. Look for it. It looks like it’s covered in cardboard and duck tape.
Thank you for this. It is so beautifully written and touches and something that I have struggled with a lot in the last 10 or so years.
I’ve been a Catholic all my life, and through college there was a long spell where you wouldn’t find me near a church unless I was home visiting my parents or going to see my grandma. I think the turning point for me was when I went to a non-denominational gathering, and the leader of the group approached me and told me I looked like someone who needed to be saved. What kind of aura was I putting off that would have him say something so condescending?
In the last 5 years or so I have found a church (even a catholic one) where I feel comfortable. The priest forms his sermons to show us how we can do good in the world. How we can love our neighbor and help others. It’s not so much about finding Jesus in the afterlife, but living the most Christ like life while we are on this earth. And I like that. It’s about what you do now. How you treat others. That maybe it’s not about some glorious afterlife, who knows maybe it is, but more about how we live the one life we are given now. I find comfort in my faith now, and not so much my religion. I love having the faith that allows me to love and care for each person who comes into my life.
Not that I would ever dare tell you how to raise your kids, but I think you can approach the story of Christmas and the birth of Jesus from the angle of kindness. The kindness of the stable owners who allowed them to stay. The people who came from near and far to show love and kindness to this child who later was going to grow into a man who loved all those around him and saw the good in everyone. I absolutely think there are ways to show it without having to present this idea, that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus who you need to have live in your heart or you’re an incomplete person. I think Christmas is about so much more than that.
Sorry for the ramble. This just really struck a cord with me considering the revelations I’ve been having regarding my own faith in my life. So thank you for writing such a beautiful piece that reminds me find the good in the season. To focus on the things that are important. Merry Christmas and happy holidays!
Some how your posts always have just what I need… I don’t know how else to explain that… but thank you.
Pure. Beautiful. Post.
Nothing more, nothing less… perfection. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing Kelle. I’m inspired by the way you put yourself out there. I had a similar religious background and am still journeying myself. But I have a lot of deeply conservative Christian friends who I sometimes censor myself around because I just don’t want to deal with it. It’s sad for both sides.
This is the first year that I have really thought about the advent and preparing myself for the story of Jesus’ birth. I’ve been trying to read the Bible and biblical fiction in a way that helps me really imagine who the characters were as people, what they felt and experienced. I feel very in the middle of people of deep religious convictions and those that who are questioning or running away from a religion. I’m still figuring out what I believe and looking for motivation behind those beliefs. I feel like you can’t go wrong if you start with love. I think you might be there too. Probably a lot of us are. And we’ll probably come to different conclusions but we can still love each other and teach our children from that place.
Happy advent to you : )
I began my own search to define my faith by trying to understand how Jesus fit into it all, instead of just being told via Catholicism. I too struggle with a religious belief that excludes whole chunks of humanity as a function of where we were born and the beliefs under which we were raised. I personally don’t believe God works that way. Because of my own search I also love religious discussion and pondering, much like this post. I choose to see Christmas as a celebration of the gifts in our life – not the consumer gifts but the real deal – people, family, love, kindness, grace, charity etc., the things I also belive the umbrella message of Jesus is meant to deliver.
You are one of the people I sometimes pretend I know in real life. And if I actually DID, I would text you a picture of the baby Jesus from our nativity scene. And you would ROFL.
Since I don’t have your digits, I will simply say this: Picture Bruce Jenner in a manger.
I don’t know how this happened. It was hand-crafted in Peru or Nicaragua and I don’t even think they have the Kardashians there.
I loved your honesty tonight. I could really chew your ear off about all this. I fall on the other strange side, connecting more easily and naturally to Jesus than to God. I believe in and love both, but God seems so intangible to me sometimes. I have to think harder about him, which probably isn’t a bad thing.
What I really believe is that God is working among all of us. And as soon as we think otherwise, he PROVES it. (< Yikes.) 🙂
Merry Christmas.
I just cannot accept that Jesus is the ONLY way, and I always feel extremely uncomfortable around people who think that. It doesn’t feel like Love to me, and that’s what I want. Peace and Love. Thank you, Kelle, for writing this post.
Dear Kelle~ I have a very dear friend, Becky (Farmgirl Paints) who just adores you and because of her I have started following your instagram and read your blog today. After reading your post I read Becky’s comment with tears spilling down my face because I could feel the love pouring out from her and what she spoke was so kind and so full of truth. I believe from the bottom of my heart that God is showing you just how deeply and truly he loves you through Becky and that the sweetness in her heart, that he’s placed there just for you, is just a true indication of his deep and true love for you. I completely understand where you’re coming from as I’ve walked my own journey of finding the true Jesus that loves me without rules or religion. There’s that verse in the Bible that says you will find him when you seek him with all of your heart and I’m just smiling right now as I think of you tonight. Have a blessed and Merry Christmas!
Have you ever read anything or seen anything by Rob Bell? He might meet you right where you are at. He has a great thing right now on his tumbler http://robbellcom.tumblr.com/post/66107373947/what-is-the-bible
And lots of great Nooma videos etc that really just hit home for me in a very “You are loved” sort of way. I think you might really like him.
Thank you for this post. It was extremely courageous for you to share such personal feelings on such a controversial topic like religion, Jesus, and Christmas. I have many of the same views on these topics as you, except I could never have worded it as beautifully and perfectly as you just did. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Kelle—how can you look at Nella…see the beauty in her–her struggles–that have turned to triumphs…her testimony of life that has touched so, so many…and not believe GOD IS REAL and had a hand in that? Santa is great—GOD is greater.
And yes, HE is a loving, caring and just GOD. Not someone to have a warm, fuzzy feeling about…when ere the urge strikes or it “feels good”. He’s taken me through hell (on earth) and back…so I can claim His promises, tell my story and touch and help others. And, just to give you an idea….try sexually abused at 18 mo+ and satanic rituals on for size. HE SAVED me from that…So while Christmas may be all warm fuzzy carols and Elves on the shelf or whatever—the TRUE STORY took place in a manger with the birth of a babe…who came to save us all. At least those that believe in Him…prayers that someday you will
Kelle, every time you write about God/faith/religion, I’m just sucked right in. I share many of your views, but I’m afraid I could never articulate them the way you have in this post. Thank you so much for sharing!
This is a follow-up comment, and while it may come off as a little bit harsh, that is in no way my intention. Please just consider it passionate. I wonder if the people who keep saying things like, “I just can’t accept that Jesus is the only way”, and defining faith by what they want out of life or what they are comfortable with – do they realize what they are trying to create? Is it the religion of YOU? It is not us individual people that say Jesus is the Way – God said that. You simply can’t believe in God (at least not the God of the Bible), and not accept His instruction. You don’t get to pick and choose which parts you care for and which ones you don’t. Everything can’t be true -there is absolute truth. Okay – I’m done. I promise. 🙂
You are so brave to share such a personal part of your life! The beauty of religion is that it isn’t about being completely comfortable with it. It’s okay to feel a little uncomfortable about certain things so long as you are continually searching for answers and are open to what you find. The search shouldn’t be about finding something that fits your life and your beliefs, it’s about finding what you are truly being called to be. Religion is basically a guide to just that and by being that you honor God and know more about Him and His love for you. Blessings on your search!
Do you ever think about the impact of buying and acquiring so many things? More lights, more clothes, more ornaments…traditions come from time with people not soooooo many things on the mantle. Wasteful.
I really get you. I’m young, just 19 years old. But I certainly hope that I do have some wisdom for my age. I’ve done a lot of questioning and pondering and exploring with regards to my faith through some pretty big trials in high school. And I came out the other side with a greater love for God – and Christ. And I do accept Him as my savior. I don’t think it’s so much that we have to believe in Christ to be saved. I think it’s about committing yourself to God, to do what He wants in your life – or at least having the will to – and knowing that we WILL mess up over and over and over. And because we mess up, there’s Christ. He’s like…the band-aid. Except a giant, magnificent, filled with love amazing band-aid from God. Because God loves us, because we love Him, and because we’re humans and literally can’t be perfect, He sent Jesus for us. Not to give us one more thing to do – believe in Jesus – but so we can be saved even if we do everything wrong.
I have my own little blog where I pour out my thoughts, mostly on God and faith, if you would like to read it sometime. hellothere516.blogspot.com
Thank you, Kelle 🙂
I am a new mama and am dealing with what we want to teach our little one about Christmas. We know we want the birth of Christ to be a part of it but we aren’t sure what all we want to share about Santa. I definitely want her to experience the magic of Santa and all that comes with that but how Moby said he would rather just clean the car rather than get a reward-I don’t like the teaching that Santa only visits nice kids not naughty ones. Its crazy how the main representations of Christmas are oh so different. Jesus=grace while Santa=behavior/reward. I know it doesn’t for everyone and I know I’m probably over thinking it. As most new moms over think everything. Any who, Merry Christmas!
Hey Kelle,
Atheist here. I’m always interested to hear about what people believe – and WHY. Is it just because we want it to be true? Is it because it feels nice/true? Is it because it’s written in a book our parents/community have told us is true?
I’m always really happy to see people questioning, and even happier when they hold matters of belief to the same standard as other kinds of knowledge. How do I know if other things are real or not? How do I work out what’s true in other contexts, and can I apply that here? How do I avoid logical fallacies (you can google these to find really good, clear descriptions)?
I also like to ask the question why do I believe x and not y? Why do I believe in Shiva but definitely not Vishnu? Why Yahweh but not Thor? The claims of many religious people are very similar no matter what the religion – I have felt god’s presence, I have felt the spirit, I have an inner knowledge that this is true, I read this in scripture, I tested the promises. Someone who follows one particular god tends to believe that the people who follow another are wrong/mistaken/lying/taken in/confused somehow. How do they know, then, that they aren’t?
I think it’s a really brave and worthwhile thing to question and keep questioning, no matter where that takes you.
Good luck and best wishes!
Rachel
When we Jews think about Jesus a lot of us come to the same feelings you do about some of the theology. I learned from my orthodox rabbi that Christianity is a perfect religion… For Christians. It’s wrong for us, so I can be comfortable with one non human deity, and that just works for me very well.
I too love your honesty and wanted you to know, as the Muslim writer did too, earlier, that there are a lot of people on the planet who will give Jesus his due who still don’t go for the “son of Gd” theology. No disrespect meant. But you’re not alone, and your love of Gd and His creation is palpable always. Merry merry!
And mentioned in the Book (Quran) the story of Mary, when she withdrew in seclusion from her family to a place facing east.
17. She placed a screen ( to screen herself ) from them ; when We sent to her Our angel Gabriel, and he appeared before her in the form of a man in all respect.
18. She said : ” verily, I seek refuge with the Most Gracious (Allah) from you, if you do fear Allah.”
19. (The angel) said : I am only a messenger from your Lord, to announce to you the gift of a righteous son”.
20. She said: ” How can I have a son, when no man has touched me, nor am I up chaste”?
21 He said: ” So (it will be), your Lord said: ‘ That is easy for Me: And ( We wish) to appoint him as a sign to mankind and a mercy from Us, and it is a matter (already) decreed, ( by Allah)
22. So she conceived him, and she withdrew with him to a far place
23. And the pains of childbirth drove her to the trunk of a date palm. She said: ” Would that I had died before this, and had been forgotten and out if sight!”
24. Then cried unto her from below her, saying: “Grive not: your Lord has provided a water stream under you.”
25. And shake the trunk of date palm towards you , it will let fall fresh ripe dates upon you.”
26. ” So eat and drink and be glad, And if you see any human beings, say: ‘ Verily, I have vowed a fast unto the Most Gracious so I shall not speak to any human beings being this day
27. Then she brought him the baby to her people, carrying him. They said: ” O Mary! Indeed you have brought a thing fariyy( a mighty thing).
28. “O sister of Aaron ! Your father was not a man who used to commit adultery, nor your mother was an uncharted woman.”
29. Then she pointed to him. They said : ” How can we talk to one who is a child in a cradle?”
30. ” He Jesus said : verily, I am a salve of Allah. He has given me the scripture and made me a prophet,”
31. ” And he has made me blessed wheresoever I be , and has enjoined on me prayer and zakat as long as live.
32. ” And dutiful to my mother, and made me not arrogant, unblest.
33. And peace be upon me on the day I was nor , and the day I live and the day I be raised alive!
34. Such is Jesus , the son of Mary. It is a statement truth, about which they doubt ( or dispute)
35 . It befeifts not ( the majesty of ) Alllah that He should beget a son ( this refers to the slander of Christians against Allah, by saying that Jesus is the son of Allah). Glorified ( and Exalted is He above all that they associate with Him ). When He decrees a thing , he on,y say to it: ” Be”! — and it is.
Quran . Chapter Mary 19. Verse 16 to 35
I feel your preference for faith over religion. I have it too.
You might enjoy this lovely story of Christmas video from New Zealand, it’s a favourite every year in this family: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zduwusyip8M&feature=c4-overview-vl&list=PLC9CBA7E985567228
Kelle, I came across this quote this morning and immediately thought of you. “Those who believe that they believe in God, but are without passion in their hearts, without anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only in the God idea, not in God himself.” Carry on sister – God is not a destination, faith is a journey, and life is a mystery. Don’t be disappointed if you never “arrive” at the perfect place, just keep searching, asking, learning and growing. I’m not there, but I know I’m on to something amazing and it inspires me to learn more.
I won’t comment on the religious side of things, because plenty of other people have. But after reading this post I thought about how the Jesus part of Christmas is no problem for me (he truly is “the reason for the season” in our house). But I’ve struggled with how to approach Santa. I know for most children he’s magical and they slowly grow out of him. I always grew out of childlike things younger than my parents thought I should and so I remember one year where they kept trying to convince me of the existence of Santa and I spent it trying to prove it was really them. Plus, growing up in a poor household, it didn’t quite seem fair to me that Santa brought meager gifts to the poor kids and awesome gifts to the rich ones. Or, as I got older, that the kids thanked Santa for the gifts instead of the parents who sacrificed so much to get them something. If it were up to me, I’d leave Santa out of Christmas. But it became clear to me a couple years ago that my husband wanted the magic of Santa in our house. So Santa leaves small stocking presents (but not the big ones) and we regularly talk about and watch a VeggieTales show about St. Nicholas so that the story behind the legend of Santa Claus is always a part of their lives. My oldest is only four, but as soon as she or one of my other children question Santa, I’m going to tell them the truth. The side of Santa that gives freely to others while expecting nothing in return is a beautiful thing, no matter how old you are.
Honey, there are many people who believe in Jesus without having much idea who God is. Yet God is Who makes it all happen. Your faith is a precious gift and I’d say you can rejoice in that! Even Jesus said, “Your faith has made you whole.” We all have our own individual journey to travel. Thank you for your thoughts, your beliefs, your faith, your intelligence, your honesty. You are truly God’s gift to many. (Hugs)
As a Christian (and pastor!) I find myself disagreeing with parts of what you have written, and surprisingly agreeing with other parts! What I admire is your honesty — and the courage it takes to be this honest “during the season”. And I very much appreciate the spirit in which it is offered. We have a mug at our house that says, “Happy Whatever It Is That Doesn’t Offend You” — but I feel safe wishing YOU a “Merry Christmas”.
Kelle,
I think it is a beautiful testament to you and the community that you have created that while many of the comments left may express different beliefs, they have for the most part been very, very kind, empathetic and respectful. Unfortunately, faith is an extremely difficult topic to talk about and yet you braved it and shared it. So, thank you to you and all the other generous souls here who have been careful with your heart. Merry Christmas!
p.s. Nothing brightens my day like a new post from ETST.
I don’t want to judge you. The Bible says we shall not judge, lest we be judged also. I have always loved your blog and will continue to read it.
I don’t want to shove my beliefs down your throat, but just wanted to offer some insight that I was thinking of as I read the comments.
If we believe in God and believe in what the Bible says, then why can’t we believe that God would send a son from Heaven to earth to die for our sins? Why can we only believe part of the Bible but think that the story of Jesus as God’s son is make believe?
If that were the case, then why believe in any of it? Why, the whole Bible could just be a book of fairy-tales, right?
Kelle, you are on the right path to figuring it all out. We wouldn’t have Christmas without Jesus’ birth, so I like that you are sharing this with your children. I think you are a wonderful mom and an extremely talented and gifted woman. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
🙂
I don’t stop in often but read your little one’s birth story years ago and wanted to check in on her – she is so precious.
I was fascinated by this post and wanted to share a thought that struck me as I was reading. I too believe that “religion” is an awful thing. Jesus despised the religious of His day and spoke again and again against them, choosing to love on the grieving prostitute at His feet over the pious and well-respected Simon in Luke 7:36-50. What the world does when it points to Jesus and says His way is ‘too narrow’ or ‘not big enough’ is take on the place of Simon the Pharisee. Instead of focusing on things, Jesus focused on people and pointed to Himself as the Way the Truth and the Life. ANY other ‘way’ is religion. Including your way, as you described here: “pull the love from such a beautiful story and transform it in a way that feels good to give my children.” It seems to me that you are just creating your own version of religion – what feels right to you.
Praying Jesus shows Himself so real to you this season that He seeps down into those scars and makes you a new creation. His new creation 🙂
P.S. Want to recommend a wonderful book, The Reason for God by Timothy Keller.
This is my first visit here and I am glad your children are learning about Jesus in this Advent season. Hey, one of our 2 nativity sets has all the figures glued down, in case you buy another set, that could be a solution to your Jesus and Joseph MIA.
Your story of the baby Jesus M.I.A. reminded me of our broken wise man growing up. One year, we would find the head, next year the body. Finally, after about 7 years, a Christmas miracle! Head and body miraculously were reunited!
A couple of thoughts…
1) I don’t think that someone can be argued into belief.
2) Notwithstanding #1, rationality is a big part of my belief system.
3) As uncomfortable as the notion that those who do not believe Jesus is who he said he is will not spend eternity with Him makes me (and it makes me very uncomfortable, sad, and angry), my feelings on the matter don’t change whether or not its true. Now, I am not going to argue with you that its true. I will just say that I believe that there is truth in the world, but our human ability to find and understand that truth is limited, so we do the best we can.
4) I’m an odd sort of Christian. I get my understanding of the big bang from a Dan Brown book and my understanding of grace from Bono. I love the way that Bono explains it:
(continued)
(Continued)
Bono: Yes, I think that’s normal. It’s a mind-blowing concept that the God who created the universe might be looking for company, a real relationship with people, but the thing that keeps me on my knees is the difference between Grace and Karma.
Assayas: I haven’t heard you talk about that.
Bono: I really believe we’ve moved out of the realm of Karma into one of Grace.
Assayas: Well, that doesn’t make it clearer for me.
Bono: You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics; in physical laws every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It’s clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the universe. I’m absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that “as you reap, so you will sow” stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff.
Assayas: I’d be interested to hear that.
Bono: That’s between me and God. But I’d be in big trouble if Karma was going to finally be my judge. I’d be in deep s—. It doesn’t excuse my mistakes, but I’m holding out for Grace. I’m holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don’t have to depend on my own religiosity.
Assayas: The Son of God who takes away the sins of the world. I wish I could believe in that.
Bono: But I love the idea of the Sacrificial Lamb. I love the idea that God says: Look, you cretins, there are certain results to the way we are, to selfishness, and there’s a mortality as part of your very sinful nature, and, let’s face it, you’re not living a very good life, are you? There are consequences to actions. The point of the death of Christ is that Christ took on the sins of the world, so that what we put out did not come back to us, and that our sinful nature does not reap the obvious death. That’s the point. It should keep us humbled . It’s not our own good works that get us through the gates of heaven.
Assayas: That’s a great idea, no denying it. Such great hope is wonderful, even though it’s close to lunacy, in my view. Christ has his rank among the world’s great thinkers. But Son of God, isn’t that farfetched?
Bono: No, it’s not farfetched to me. Look, the secular response to the Christ story always goes like this: he was a great prophet, obviously a very interesting guy, had a lot to say along the lines of other great prophets, be they Elijah, Muhammad, Buddha, or Confucius. But actually Christ doesn’t allow you that. He doesn’t let you off that hook. Christ says: No. I’m not saying I’m a teacher, don’t call me teacher. I’m not saying I’m a prophet. I’m saying: “I’m the Messiah.” I’m saying: “I am God incarnate.” And people say: No, no, please, just be a prophet. A prophet, we can take. You’re a bit eccentric. We’ve had John the Baptist eating locusts and wild honey, we can handle that. But don’t mention the “M” word! Because, you know, we’re gonna have to crucify you. And he goes: No, no. I know you’re expecting me to come back with an army, and set you free from these creeps, but actually I am the Messiah. At this point, everyone starts staring at their shoes, and says: Oh, my God, he’s gonna keep saying this. So what you’re left with is: either Christ was who He said He was the Messiah or a complete nutcase. I mean, we’re talking nutcase on the level of Charles Manson. This man was like some of the people we’ve been talking about earlier. This man was strapping himself to a bomb, and had “King of the Jews” on his head, and, as they were putting him up on the Cross, was going: OK, martyrdom, here we go. Bring on the pain! I can take it. I’m not joking here. The idea that the entire course of civilization for over half of the globe could have its fate changed and turned upside-down by a nutcase, for me, that’s farfetched
Bono later says it all comes down to how we regard Jesus:
Bono: If only we could be a bit more like Him, the world would be transformed. When I look at the Cross of Christ, what I see up there is all my s— and everybody else’s. So I ask myself a question a lot of people have asked: Who is this man? And was He who He said He was, or was He just a religious nut? And there it is, and that’s the question. And no one can talk you into it or out of it.
http://www.thepoachedegg.net/the-poached-egg/2010/09/bono-interview-grace-over-karma.html
I don’t know that it’s wholly fair to say “faith over religion” — as it seems to apply that the two are vastly different. Though, to be fair, I didn’t grow up with your version of religion. Every time I hear you speak of it, it reminds me of some 16th century version of hell-fire and damnation — all of us mere spiders hanging over a burning inferno by a small string and all of that.
But, there is absolute beauty in finding truth — in believing that there ARE actual truths and that our spirits can recognize those truths — that things can resonate with our souls and speak to our minds and hearts in a way that makes us say, “Yes. I know that. It’s something logic would say I can’t know, but it feels familiar and right and more like memory than anything else.” — and that spiritual self grasping and knowing things beyond human reasoning — that faith — can come from religion. My religion is what has taught me to hear those things. It’s what has taught me that I can receive answers and understanding and communication from things bigger than myself. I will agree that it’s important to recognize the difference in organizations — and imperfect humans — and gospel.
I remember during a semester of school I spent in Jerusalem one of my Jewish professors explaining how they saw no need for some mythical middle man between them and God to make repentance possible.
I get that. I could see how that made sense.
But, isn’t it possible, that God operates on real and natural laws — things that might seem strange and mysterious to us — just like electricity would to someone in the middle ages — but nevertheless is real?
What if in coming to this mortal experience — to this amazing school that would allow us to progress and become something far greater than we ever could have if we never ventured beyond the safety of our peaceful and loving Heavenly home we knew there would be one insurmountable problem? We would make mistakes. We would screw up. Undoubtedly and often. And what if it was law and justice and truth that where God was — our home — was perfect and clean and we couldn’t be there all full of sin. But also, saying sorry is great. Repentance and changing and doing better is how we learn. But what if there really was a price that had to be paid — a law bigger than us — a law that was universal and all governing. Is it completely impossible that Christ — our adored and admired oldest brother would volunteer to pay the price? So that we COULD simply keep trying to be better and repenting and because of what he paid we could be perfectly clean and fine. We could risk coming here and gaining all it had to offer because we COULD make it back?
And, for the record, I don’t believe in a simple “damned and saved” — what does that even mean? I think hell will be for the select few who have worked there hardest to get there, but the rest of us? Isn’t it possible that we could attain different degrees of exaltation? I think so. I think God will apply every bit of mercy and understanding — apply every ounce of power from Christ paying what he paid — to help us. I think he will condemn no one for things they didn’t know or couldn’t have lived. I think He will judge as we would our own children — which means with every ounce of love and leniency and patience and hope that there is. But that still, some will be prepared to take on bigger rolls — it’s the next step in our progression which, thankfully, won’t end with this life.
Those are my truths. Along with all sorts of personal “faith” and personal treasured experiences that have taught me that we are spiritual beings. All of us. And it is such a shame — regardless of who or what we believe in — when we don’t open ourselves up to things bigger than us — things that can speak to our very souls. It’s so beautiful.
The end :). I can tell you’d be a fun one to have religious conversations with!
My husband and I have similar beliefs as you describe, and I too had a life-altering experiencing with religion that left a huge bitter scar. I have let go of most of that bitterness, but it has made me hesitant to introduce it to my children.
My husband and I suscribe to many of the beliefs of wicca, and try to focus our Christmad traditions on yule traditions instead. Keeps it from being all about commercialism, and has a rich history to many of the traditions (many traditions that people link to their Christian Christmas are actually Yuletide traditions that Wiccans had been celebrating long before Jesus and christianity were born).
Chiming in as a fellow soul-scarred reader…
I have some thoughts/questions concerning Moby’s quote:
– The statement that he can read the Bible daily and not focus on Christ as his Savior is very odd since the entire book is about man’s need for a Savior…and that Savior being Christ alone.
– We do not have to say, “Who knows what happens when we die?” because God has shared that plainly in His Word.
– The comment “I almost wish that eternal life wasn’t part of the issue” puzzles me. So is he suggesting that the weight of eternal life is only “part” of what is important? I am wrong to assume from his comment that he would prefer all 70 or so years on this earth to receive the majority of importance over ALL OF ETERNITY? And to phrase our future time in the presence of God in heaven as “part of the issue” and “it’s like dealing with an adolescent” seems to reveal an ignorance of the undeserved beauty and glory that awaits us.
– Finally, Moby’s example of cleaning the garage indicates a lack of understanding concerning the gospel. The gospel has nothing to do with rewards but has everything to do with grace for on our own we could not “clean the garage” nor would we even desire to attempt to clean it. The gospel is about how we, as rebels against a Holy God and deserving His wrath, are loved so dearly that God Himself took on flesh (there is your sweet baby Jesus!) to take that wrath in our place. Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we do indeed get rewards (reconciliation with God, forgiveness of sins, adoption into His family, eternal life in His Presence, etc)but those rewards are because of what Jesus has done, not us…and are given to us by His grace.
I hope that this Christmas season you find joy in acknowledging Jesus, our Immanuel.
I enjoyed reading this blog posting. I’m agnostic, and all I can think when reading the comments are, “C’mon people! Let her believe what she wants to believe without preaching to her!” Honestly, it’s painful to read a lot of these comments.
This. Exactly. You could have been speaking and writing for me. While I don’t have the same background that you do, I do have that overwhelming sense of faith and not Jesus. Faith and not religion. Why is it so difficult for those two to be separate? It doesn’t matter what you have faith in, so long as you have faith, right? All good things stem from faith… and quoting Bible text at me, stating that THIS story is the ONLY story that matters and counts… well, that just can’t be true. Because if it were, Jesus, and therefore LOVE, would always be exclusive instead of inclusive. That’s not something that I want taught to my baby girls. Love is love. Period.
Love your blog, your badass-ness, your never ending courage, and your sweet, sweet family that you share with all of us. Happy Christmas!
I like your post. Judging the meteor-sized hole in your chest you sustained in childhood, and how many people related to that, I think it is extremely appropriate to be tentative in what sort of lessons one imparts upon their kid. But you can never go wrong with teaching your kids about love, by words and example. I doubt very seriously that Jesus’ message of love has a remote possibility of screwing a kid up. So (not a parent) but I’m going with that!
The fact that you are still questioning your beliefs is proof that there is more to the story of Jesus. The Bible is God’s word and must be accepted as a WHOLE and we can’t just pick the things we want to believe. The entire Bible was written pointing to Jesus, who is the way to salvation. God is a god who is to be respected and feared but He loves you more than we can fathom. I’m sorry you had a bad experience growing up but don’t let that build a wall between you and the love He has to offer….keep seeking!
Hey Kelle,
It sounds like you should just get it over with and become a Buddhist!
I was baptized Catholic and was pretty much skeptical of it all at a young age. I tried, but it was quickly evident that I am an atheist. I’m fine with the idea of Jesus being a man, a good man, a great teacher. And that’s what I love about Buddhism (and why we are raising our kids Buddhist). We’re all climbing the same mountain with the goal of reaching the top. It doesn’t matter how you get there. There are lots of teachers out there. There isn’t one prescribed path or teacher. When I heard that at a Buddhist service I was sold. If everyone would mind their own business and stop trying to push their way of thinking/believing/teaching on the rest of us we would all get along so much better 🙂
Teresa
Oh my goodness! You totally have to get the “Jesus Storybook Bible”! I wish I had read it as a kid. I wish my parents had read it. I wish I knew there was a love story being written and that God had a secret rescue plan. I seriously get teary reading it to my son. It’s all about the love and totally against the judgement. Each story tells behind the scenes and then weaves it all together for one big story and one big message that God loves us no matter what. Look it up. I’m kind of sure you will love it!
I love this post and I can so relate. I was raised in a very Christian home, church on Sundays, youth group on Wednesdays, retreats, choir – the whole nine yards. And I really liked it! I loved going to church… and yet, I can never remember a time when I wasn’t skeptical. When I was around 10 or 11 I “accepted Jesus into my heart” during Sunday school and I remember immediately after praying I felt profoundly ashamed. I told my mom what I had done when I saw her afterwards and all I recall about the encounter was just being horrified with embarrassment. I can’t explain my reaction as I really was trying to be a good Christian at that age, but there you go. By the time I hit 18 I was a full blown atheist.
I’m at a different place now, not quite atheist but definitely not a Christian. Oddly enough, it was a book in reincarnation that made me reconsider my atheism. But, as they say, the Lord works in mysterious ways! Thanks for sharing your faith journey (and life) on your blog. You are truly always inspiring!
Beautiful post. My daughter plays with their nativity and things it’s full of fairies and farmers (whoops). I found the more I read the bible, the less I liked it. It’s not for everyone. I think Jesus’ teachings were awesome. But a vast majority of the rest of it left me feeling very uncomfortable. Do what feels right to you. People don’t need religion to be good people. We teach empathy, love & helping others because we want to. Not because god tells us to.
Have you ever though about checking out your local Unitarian Universalists? Sometimes it seems like their focus on individual paths toward finding meaning “out there” are right up your alley!
Kelle, thank you for sharing your heart. No matter whether it agrees 100% with me or not, I appreciate reading it. It’s refreshing to see where people are at in their walk of life. I came across a quote i thought I’d share-
The Gospel does not threaten sinners. It is glad news, not mad news. Yet Jesus talked more about hell than heaven – not as a THREAT but as a WARNING. An enemy is threatened, but a friend is warned. There is something I’d call MILITANT MERCY. When a fast moving car approaches a child, we would snatch it from danger. It may be rough, but it is true mercy. That’s what Jesus does! HE SAVES.”
I wonder if God keeps nudging for a reason. What if you can have salvation AND love? salvation AND compassion. None of the legalistic horribleness you saw growing up. Jesus wasn’t that. I say, don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. Find the truth. It is freeing. Sometimes it is hard to hear( Like Jesus being the only way) but the paradox is that in that, is freedom. It doesn’t make much sense and I know it would be hard to want to claim that after suffering abuse at the hands of people who are supposed to be a picture of Jesus, but sometimes, it’s worth giving something another chance.
Kelle,
Whenever you write a religion post, the first thing I think is ohmygodweshouldbebestfriends because my story is very similar to yours. It’s very different, too, of course. But I know how deep that zeal can run and how it can ultimately wreak havoc on your life. I know I’m far from the first one to say this. But then I read further along and I think, “Whew! She has come a lot farther than I have!” because I struggle with this a LOT.
I also am one to be EXTREMELY careful about what I teach/tell my girls in regards to matters of faith. When my mom’s cat died a couple of years ago I blurted out to my girls that she was in heaven. I am still back-pedaling on that one because I don’t really believe in “heaven”. Now when my girls ask about someone who dies they will ask, “Mom, is she everywhere now?” And I smile and say, “Yes, she is everywhere. In the trees and the wind and your smile” And then they say, “Is she in heaven, too?” and I am amazed because dear God their memories are ridiculous!
Anyway, I want my girls to know about religion. I want them to know about Vishnu and Muhammad and Buddha. I want them to be able to say “Merry Krishna” to their Hindu friends and “Happy Yom Kippur” to their Jewish friends. I want them to be able to answer the door when a JW comes a’knockin’ and say, “Yep, I know about the 144,000, considered me forewarned thanks!” And of course I want my kids be able to participate in any of these belief systems if they feel themselves drawn to it.
But the Jesus thing. I still have trouble bringing up the Jesus thing. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have taken them to Christian services. They have attended a number of Catholic masses, Lutheran services, Baptist services, and my personal go-to Jesus denomination, Quaker meetings. They know about Jesus. (In fact, at the last service we went to, my 6-year-old leaned over to me and whispered, “Mommy, does Harry Potter know about Jesus?” I just about died. Love that girl!)
But when it comes to telling them about Jesus from MY perspective, I am so not ready. Not even a little. So kudos to you for braving it. For introducing him yourself. I still am sitting next to my girls in the pew stuttering something like, “Um, probably not, maybe, I don’t know, go ask the pastor.”
Thanks for putting yourself out there 🙂 I enjoy these posts.
-Theresa
As a recovering Preacher’s Kid, I say AMEN, Sister, AMEN.
Oh how I simply adore you girl!!!
You are asking all of the right questions and that, I believe, is the most important part of our journey here on earth.
I’m sorry some of your experiences with religion have left you wanting. It shouldn’t be that way. For me, I personally have a strong testimony of who we are and why we are here. That we do indeed have a loving Heavenly Father that knows us and cares for us individually. I know He has a divine plan and purpose for each of us. He sent his Son, Jesus Christ, to atone for our sins and set that perfect example for us to follow that we may become better today than yesterday…and that is why I celebrate His birth this Christmas season. That’s just a skiff of what I know to be true but I feel it is so important for others to discover the truth for themselves as well. Religion should inspire those to become better not to punish them into being better. That last one, however, is simply my opinion!
For months now I have been quietly reading your blog. I have wanted to tell you how grateful I am for your exquisite words. I’m sure you hear that all of the time though! I have worked with individuals with autism and/or down syndrome. Most of who were abandoned by their mothers at birth. I refuse to judge because they all have their own journey but I do have to say it is so refreshing to see a mother that loves her children endlessly. So often I have come away from your blog feeling a better sense of determination to become the best mother I possibly can be. Your humor has made me giggle and enlightened my days. For that and so much more I thank you. Merry Christmas and I look forward to reading what new beauties come your way in the 2014year!
Most of these comments illustrate to perfection why I want nothing to do with formal religion. Throughout my life most of the self-prclaimed religious people I’ve met have been the most judgmental, unforgiving people I’ve known and the bible they preach turns out to be a book of rules for you and me but, oddly enough, not applicable to them. I suspect Jesus is at least a little pissed that they are invoking his name to judge everybody around them. Ugh.
You are just really, really wonderful. It takes such courage to be so vulnerable in an incredibly public space. Your openness is inspiring.
Meredith
I don’t think you need to worry. You have faith. You live well. You are kind, respectful and dignified. You believe in helping others and love yourself and your family. You have grace.
God sees you, he loves you. Everything else is window dressing.
I love, love, love your blog and all of your posts. I’ve commented maybe 3 times. I’m not a big one to comment. I completely respect and honor your past confusion about faith and Jesus and God – seriously. I’m a nice lady and trust that you and God will get it all straightened out – really – but just throwing this out there – in reading all that you’ve read – do you see that Jesus doesn’t give alternatives to who He is. He says that He is the way, the truth, and the life and no one can get to the Father except through Him. He is extremely radical – He is it. He is the Savior of the world. and that is a good thing. We can trust Him. He is God. Much love.
I haven’t read the comments, so forgive me if I’m repeating. I think as far as thinking that saying Jesus is the ONLY way and not liking that, all depends on your perspective. It’s not that Jesus is being mean or prideful. It’s that He made a perfect world, we messed it up and Jesus came to fix what was broken. That’s it. He’s not being “mean” saying I’m the Way to God, eternal life, Heaven, etc. He’s saying I loved you so much I made a way. Please, believe. I woke up thinking that yesterday morning and thought I should comment here. Thank you for being honest and for blogging about beautiful things. There’s not enough of that in our world.
I’ve gone back to read some of the comments and I second the Jesus Storybook Bible. Your kids will love it, you’ll love it. If I had your address, I’d send it to you myself. 🙂
loved your mention of the nativity figures taken away–when my daughter was small (3-ish), we had the opposite “problem”. after letting her set up the plastic figures from my childhood, she kept adding happy meal toys (starting with the autumn harvest berenstein bears–said they went with the shepards). when asked why, she explained that they all wanted to come see the baby jesus too! so we had a very unusual nativity that year and for the next several years…
Having read your post, and previous ones about your troubled religious past, along with many of the comments here further strengthens my firm conviction that organized religion in many ways is a horrible and abusive invention. Allow the Children to grow up with an open mind and see what they end up believing (by their own choice) when they are old enough.
I wasn’t go to comment on this post. In fact, if I’m being honest, when I first read it, I got mad. How silly, right? To be mad at someone just because they don’t share the same beliefs as I do. (Someone, by the way, I really admire in a lot of ways.)
I am passionate about my faith in Jesus, but I know he would NEVER want me to feel anger toward someone who is at a different point in their journey. I don’t agree with a lot in your post, but I do want to tell you that it taught me a lot about the Christian I should be. It’s not that I would ever act on that anger (I steer clear of drama), but just realizing that the feeling was there showed me I have a few things to work on. Thank you for that.
Writing your post was brave…and it was honest. My prayer is that you continue to be encouraged — not attacked — for talking about a subject so many shy away from. God wants us to talk about Jesus, and He wants us to help each other on our walks of Faith, especially when we don’t agree.
Wishing you much joy and peace this Christmas!
*going (sorry, had to fix!) 🙂
I thought about this post for several days. I was NOT going to comment. Afterall, I am just one of many unknown readers full of thoughts and opinions that are unlikely to be impactful to you. You have a lovely tribe of support and solid family. You do not need my two cents! I just wanted to say that I also had a *cough* less than stellar childhood experience with the church. Oh the stories we could swap over hot tea! Every Christmas I remember the year my parents would not allow any Christmas decorations or a tree because it was “worshiping idols”. And we never had Santa, or the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. Idols, too, apparently. Well, you should see my house now! My kids get a tree and decorations and cookies and the whole she-bang! YEEHAW! I took my own journey of faith. I searched, and asked, and read, and listened, and prayed. Lots of praying. I have come to a place where I embrace that there is absolute truth that is anchored in love (not rules). Boggles my mind, and it brings me to my knees often. Sending up a prayer for you on your journey.
I see myself in so much of what you said here. I grew up in a Christian tradition that prided itself on having ALL the answers, and it took me too many years to see the holes. I now revel in the fact that I don’t HAVE to have all the answers–God does, and that’s good enough, and my job is to just be His hands and feet here on earth–to show Him to others and let him do his thing in their hearts.
Growing up, we never celebrated Christmas or Easter as religious holidays because “we don’t know when Jesus was born or died.” Now, I don’t take a minute of it for granted–these holidays are so sacred to me, because I finally GET IT. I pray that I can show my own children the sacredness of the seasons, but more importantly I want them to be reflections of God’s love all year long.
I love how vulnerably you are sharing about your spiritual journey; especially since you came out of a religiously harsh past.
I believe Jesus truly was the son of God and that his birth/life/death/resurrection is the only thing that can heal the brokenness in our world. However, I don’t know if I believe that Jesus’ healing is only given to those who believe exactly the right things. I often wonder if somehow his sacrifice was big enough to cover even those who rejected him.
At Christmastime I always think of the angels who announced Jesus’ birth as “good news of great joy that will be for ALL people.” If Jesus’ birth meant that only those who believe exactly right get to heaven… well, that’s not really good news for all people, is it? It’s only good news for some.
Just a thought.
Thank you for these posts. They help me not feel so alone on my own faith journey.
I’m so impressed with the maturity and tone of all these comments! What a joy just to read. The one thing that sticks out to me is that God is certainly speaking to your heart and I’m not sure that He is done speaking. Someone else mentioned Sally Lloyd Jones’ book. The Jesus Bible Storybook. It really is amazing and it is worth a read. Even if you just read it to yourself for now. It blesses me every time and every page shows the greater picture of Jesus for US! Keep asking, Kelle!
LOVED reading this! And I love that I can “disagree” with you, but feel so thankful for the way you share. I’m not sure I’ve met another blogger who can write the way you can, every.single.time.
Your posts are so thought provoking for me and I love that because as a girl who became God’s daughter at such a young age, I need these types of conversations to really get my brain working out and remembering what I believe and why I believe.
I love the magical and mystical and so for me, the Bible and God and Jesus’ earthly life feel like they’re in a totally separate part of my brain – because they’re real. Totally and completely real and true and everlasting and like it or not, sometimes HARD to swallow.
I love your heart toward others and I love that you think over these things and feel so deeply about what you will teach your kids and how you’ll expose them to things.
Don’t let your past define you. Its hard not to because it kind of does 🙂 but we need to be careful not to allow other people’s mistakes to turn us into their shadows.
Last Sunday in church we touched on the scripture in Mark where a father says to Jesus, “Lord I believe, now help my unbelief” – I think that’s how a lot of faith is. The opposite of faith is not doubt. We will question things. It’s part of growth. I think the important thing to remember is that the amount of our faith is not as important as the object of our faith. You are such a blessing to your family and your followers. you’ve got a heart of gold! I’m glad to hear you’re inviting Jesus into Christmas. 🙂
I love that you’ve talked more about faith on your blog this past year, Kelle! It’s great to see the ways in which you’ve chosen to share these sentiments with your children. I think you’ve been able to tread those waters safely and appropriately 🙂
I don’t know that you read all of these comments or check out all of the links people send you, but I’m part of a church in Northern CA and we post all of our church sermons online. The reason I share this with you is because our Pastor just launched a new, two year long series called “Being Jesus” this past Sunday. He’s going to be taking us through the gospels {matt, mark, luke, john} and you might be interested in either listening to some of the podcasts or watching some of the vimeo videos! That probably sounds really lame, and super boring on the outside but I promise you it will be so interesting and informative. I grew up in a church much like the one you grew up in and have recently found this church and it’s completely opened my eyes to the depth of love Jesus/God has for us and who He really is.
This study is going to be really in depth and has been prayerfully outlined by some of the teachers and elders in our church. I’m so excited to learn more about the life of Jesus!
Here is the link to our church vimeo: http://vimeo.com/user2254253/videos
I hope that should you find some time to watch any of the videos you might find them a blessing or informative if nothing more 🙂 <3
XO
Look at the forum you have created! You are brave to trust us and share with us. I love how we are wrestling with the words to express our beliefs. And we are also wrestling with how to listen to one another.
Our past, present and hope for the future are all knitted in to these impressions.
We are yearning for sign posts. Thank you for accompanying us on this journey.