i’ve been feeling a lack of passion lately…towards life and creativity and all the little things in the nooks and crannies of my soul that define me. in a funk, i guess, and it has disturbed me to the utmost that i could not find the means to bring back the flame. i haven’t cooked as much. i haven’t crafted. i haven’t written pages and pages in my journal like i so often do when i’m finding passion in life. i can’t cry and crying is literally part of my heritage…i’m a cryderman for pete’s sake. i can’t even barely put an outfit together and i’m usually drawn to my closet like a painter’s palette. i think it’s partly a letdown of all this creative energy before the holidays and the fact that i never made these life-changing new year’s/new decade-of-my-life resolutions so many people do. just been so entirely…blah.
somehow, the pieces are coming together though and tonight i felt my flame reignited. being with my sister, my nieces, dinner with girlfriends last night that turned into a six-hour soul-cleansing…
pumping up the tires of the jogging stroller (after hanging from a dusty peg in the garage for months) and running again…the first time since before the baby belly…and i’m talkin’ running as a family…lainey and latte in the double jogger, brandyn running a few feet ahead, and brett and i, our feet and breaths in complete sync…pounding the pavement in the dark, with the moon overhead……and it feels incredible.
…waking up with lainey between us this morning and realizing…she fills me with so much happiness, i don’t even notice disappoinments in life anymore.
and then tonight…my sister and i loaded the car with a herd of kids and headed to the beach…for a sunset God prepared especially for us. it wouldn’t end. the tourists clapped when the yellow ball of fire bowed beneath the horizon. they packed up and went home after it ended…but what they didn’t know was that it was just beginning. minutes after it set, the fireworks began…fireworks of pink and blue and orange.
my sister kept saying, “i can’t believe this. it just won’t end.” the kids packed their ziplocks full of shells for their friends at home. lainey didn’t cry even after the waves kicked her butt and soaked the cuffs of her sandy jeans. we drank hot coffee in the dim light and said nothing. and i felt it…the flames of passion reignited.
i don’t know why i forget from time to time that passion exists all around me. all it took was a trip to the beach tonight to find it.
(okay…so she cried a little when the waves knocked her down)
oh, so at peace tonight. don’t even know how it happened but it did.
enjoying the keepin-this-torch-burnin‘ things. ~k
I’m crying. I told ya God was at the beach! So..here’s the deal..inspiration IS everywhere! We just have to open our eyes! we gotta LIVE baby! LIFE is a big huge GIFT.. and we need to RIP into it like it is our biggest present on Christmas morning when we were little…AND..we have to LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY and we have to CREATE….so we leave our BEAUTY behind in this world. And YOU, my friend are BEAUTIFUL..so start CREATING!
wow.
you just got the tears flowing like crazy.
i’m so there with you.
but a little soul searching on a beach wouldn’t be bad, either. i swear … those pictures eat at my heart. my soul rests in the waves. and i haven’t been to see them in far too many years.
next time you go … could you send a little wave my way? i think i need it.
I can feel the renewed glow in this post…I hope it warms me up because it is brutally cold here…the kind of cold that goes to the bone and there it no relief…the kind of cold that a powerful sermon about Hell’s fire would almost sound inviting. Send warmth. ASAP.
So glad you are enjoying such a wonderful week with your family….lainey is too cute in the pictures on the beach. every time we go to see sunset we promise to not let it be so long before we return….now thats a good resolution! tuesday sounds great….i’ll bring lunch or something fun.
ok so i know this post is supposed to be touching and inspiring (and it is!) but it also made me laugh…was lainey also crying from the ginormous wedgie it appears you gave her while swinging on the beach?
i LOVE beach silhouette pictures. love the pic of carin and the girls. she is the coolest mom!
the bottom pic of lainey is just adorable. i like to think she’s giving you the shell and sharing with you her enjoyment of the small things. like mother like daughter.
Great post, Kelle! Your beach pictures are amazing! I’m with your dad, thanks for the warmth. No school here today, no not b/c of snow, b/c of extreme cold temperatures! So, I’m gonna bundle up the kids and head to my sister’s house for a day of …
play!
Aw, the beach pics are fabulous!! I love Lainey’s crocheted hat!
Wow! love it love your words! love the pictures and so ture! you are brillant! What a great evening something that needs to be done more often like once a month!
some of us never noticed a lull in your creativity…your just that good! so happy for you that you get so much wonderful sister (and family) time!
I’m a firm believer in the fact that the beach has a way of doing this to ones inner being. Recharging-reviving-defribrilating the dead in us. The white caps on the waves that turn to bubbles at the shore line, the smell, the sun, the sand sugaring our toes, it all rejuvenates our spirit each time we find ourselves there. Amazing how God made the beach and told the ocean where to start and where to end – right at our little piggy toes, eh? There is a reason for the beach. A reason much larger than us. So glad you got your funk on while back there last night. Rock on sista’ – Rock on’!
Blessings, Angie
http://www.angelicagracedesigns.com/blog/
http://www.angieseamanphotography.blogspot.com
What fun you must of had at the beach. Seeing a sunset at the beach is always beautiful. It is also a promise that tomorrow it will be there again. So if today is not as good as it could be. It will get better.
I don’t think it’s polite to lie on your blog! There’s no way there’s been a lull in your creativity! I could fill up this entire comment box proving my case! Instead I’m just fining you $100 blogging dollars!
Stop the lying kas!
Sounds like an amazing evening. Beaches will always have a special little place in my heart as well.
Can’t wait to see the creative results of the new flame 🙂
I can’t imagine going any length of time without seeing the ocean…. I guess that’s what happens when you live on a big ole island…. (Jen – sending ya a beautiful, crashing wave!)
glad the beach helped…it usually does:)
xoxoxo
beach powers activate!!!!
LO freaking L on your dad’s comment about Hell’s fire…haha to funny!!!!
Sister,
Scroll on down these pages….amazing you were feeling funky. Although, it doesn’t so much matter what we observe. It matters what you feel. And, isn’t it amazing that every single woman feels uninspired at times and probably more often than any of us even know. Because so often women don’t talk about how they need help with their kids or can’t keep up with dishes because no one else talks about it and then what if I’m the only one? Why aren’t I creative today?
Anyway, good on ya for throwing it out there. The honest, raw mama posts are my favorite.
And, love that crying is part of your heritage. Those are some good genetics. I just know we’ll get along famously.
xo, n