It happened again. Remember the first ballet class when I couldn’t let go? The cut-the-cord incident of 2010 repeated itself with yet another performance on the soccer field Friday night.
Brett was out of town this weekend for some boys fun with Brandyn, so I pushed my way through single mom duties and managed to make it to soccer practice with two girls despite the fact Lainey didn’t want to go without Brett. And when all her teammates followed the coach’s coaxing and lined up on the field, Lainey clung to my hip. “Come with me, Mama.”
I whispered I’d be watching, nudged her out, promised it would be fun, but no go.
And then, without even realizing it, my propellers came out. Inappropriately hovering.
“C’mon, get out there, let’s go,” I say as I inch myself closer into the field. Closer. Closer. Guiding Lainey’s shoulders and standing two steps behind her with Nella on my hip while all the other parents sit in beach chairs behind the line. And while I’m shadowing my kid, I’m shrinking my shoulders and avoiding any eye contact with coaches–like toddlers who play hide-and-go seek and hide in conspicuous spots but with their eyes closed because surely, if they can’t see you, you can’t see them.
But they saw me. And what followed was something to the effect of “Parents, it’s important you stay off the field. We’ve been doing this for a long time and we know what we’re doing. It doesn’t help us if you accompany your child out here.” And I froze like a deer in the headlights. Didn’t even step back or say sorry or anything. I couldn’t move partly because I felt so stupid and partly because my kid was crying and running to me in the middle of the whole thing. And in case you wondered what makes one rule-breaking parent feel better when you ask them to leave, throw an “s” on the end of “Parent” to pluralize it so that maybe it sounds like you’re not singling one person out even though everyone knows damn well you are.
Yes, this is funny, yes they’re good coaches just doing their jobs, and yes we’ll give it a few more shots and respect our girl no matter what she ends up choosing. I went home rethinking the whole thing though. Wishing I would have handled it differently, wondering why I didn’t. And as silly as those moments of reflection are–especially over something as meaningless as a four-year-old’s soccer practice–they are good, even if it’s just for a laugh.
When these things happen, they initiate good conversation in home. Conversations on how we want to raise our kids, what’s important to us, and the challenges of letting go that lie ahead. And sometimes, you realize the things you thought were priorities aren’t very important. It is important to me that my kids learn tools to adapt to new situations and blaze their way through challenges, but it’s also important to me that they aren’t pushed too hard and that we let their own interests guide them.
While soccer didn’t interest her this weekend, planting did.
Nana Kate is a master gardener, often found pulling weeds and pruning plants in her yard before the sun even rises. I love the way she enthusiastically teaches my kids about the outdoors–how she talks about leaves growing and roots stretching as if they are elements to a great action-adventure plot.
*****
Nella’s sharpening her mothering skills these days, tending to babies and Elmos and plush animals who need her care. She feeds them bottles, covers them with blankets, and pulls them up to the crook of her neck where she gently pats and kisses them.
*****
And Lainey missed her daddy this weekend, evident from how she ran into his arms when he arrived back home last night. She lays her head on his shoulder and then pulls it back and looks at him–no words, just smiles.
Daddy’s hopscotch moves are hot. If you like that leprechaun dance sort of thing.
*****
In case you were wondering where the National Ibis Convention was this weekend, I’m pretty sure it was in the Target parking lot. This wasn’t even all of them.
*****
Finally, we enjoyed a lazy morning this morning. Slippers and sticky buns and sun stripes from the open blinds all over my girl’s pajamas. I’m craving more of these as October ripens.
I love lazy days.
*****
If you’re still in need of some last-minute Halloween attire, don’t forget to check out sponsor Happy Camper’s adorable tie-dyed candy corn knits! There are a couple fun new things in her shop, perfect for the season.
*****
Happy Monday, Friends.
Happy Monday to you as well! ๐
It seemed liked you had the same weekend I had. So don’t worry you’re not the only one!!!
so sweet. love watching the recaps through instagram ๐
Oh I have been one of those parents more than once. I swear they only talk about you until another parent does something similar ๐
It’s so hard and I hope you know other parents have BTDT and we don’t judge. ๐
Okay, my 3 year old plays soccer (and does ballet, lol) and her coaches encourage the parents to be involved/help their child participate and behave. Many, MANY times I’ve had to spend the first few minutes on the field with her, baby sister on my hip, until she was involved enough that I could slip away. I’m glad they don’t call us out like that! ๐
PARENTS! Love that! I am more afraid of my son’s teacher than I ever was of my own!
Happy Monday….
Nella tending to her babies is the sweetest thing EVER!!! ๐
Don’t beat yourself up – my 5 (almost 6) yr old was so excited about pep squad until the day came to cheer & she cried & held onto my leg and said she didn’t want to go. And I was ok with that b/c it was supposed to be fun – but deep down I knew she would have fun if she did it. She’s always a nervous kid when it comes to new things. But I was content to sit with her on the bench and watch the other girls & then my sister came and oh so secretly talked to her & next thing I know my sister is holding her hand walking out onto the middle of the field for the halftime performance! And Caileigh wouldn’t let go of her hand so my sister was stuck with 30 other cheerleaders! I laughed & said that’s what you get for trying to make her go!
But my sister knew what she was doing b/c when Caileigh was done she said “next time I want to cheer mom”. So this past Saturday was the next game & she cheered & had a blast! Sometimes it just takes a little “encouraging” for our kids to see its not so scary & its fun! Even if the encouraging isn’t from us!
I WAS wondering about those Ibis, glad they can convene too (this made me chuckle, you are too funny).
Nellbell is so adorable lovin on her babies. Laindizzle gives me hope, for various reasons.
And you, Kelle Hampton, are simply beautiful. Thanks for sharing (and keeping it real), as always.
Happy Monday to you as well. The pictures of Nella mothering are so cute. Lainey looks like she had a great time planting. Love this last picture of Nella so cute.
The public announcements to “parentS” just ties my stomach in knots. What inevitably follows is that moment when you want to follow the rules but you also want to do what feels so natural and right (in this case, comfort your daughter). Ugh. Don’t let it get to you – you did just fine!
Love Brett’s hopscotch moves. Hot, indeed ๐
I love the Daddy and Lainey moments…so incredibly sweet and adorable. So important for a girl to have a good man in her life to look up to and love. She is very lucky.
That last picture is adorable! Love sister’s shades!
As for letting go, well, we do the best we can and what feel right. Even if it’s not according to all of the “rules”. I probably would’ve done the same thing. It’s hard to leave their side when they’re unsure of something. If it ends up not being her thing now, she could revisit it years down the line or just decide that it’s not for her. At least she tried it though. It’s scary being out on a fiend with a bunch of kids you don’t really know, doing something you don’t know how to do. Some days will be better than others I’m sure. ๐
I wish I could garden. I’m really bad at it. It seems like such an easy task, idealy, but for me….no so much. I like that Lainey has her nana to help her learn about it all. What a special bond!
Seeing Nella with that baby and elmo makes me smile and warms my heart. I can imagine what it does for you. She has such a sweet soul. It’s amazing how you can love someone just by hearing their stories and seeing their pictures.
Thank you for brightening this Monday for me. Have a wonderful week!
Bravo for standing by your girl when she needed you and respecting and validating her feelings! I’ve been there myself, and got the parent pep talk as well, I’d rather my feelings be bruised than my children getting the message that their feelings don’t matter. High five soccer mom!
Love those swooning grins for Daddy <3 and Brett’s hopscotch moves are awesome, LOL!
My Piper does the exact same thing as Nella with her baby dolls. She holds them, rocks them, cuddles them close to her neck and gives them pats on the back letting them know that “mommy’s” here, just like I do to her.
So precious.
I enjoyed reading your experience on the soccer field as I could relate a lot actually with an 18 month old. I just love the way you share the stories that I never think to put out there and the stories that really encourage other moms. We can all relate and it feels so good to know we aren’t alone doesn’t it:) Darling pictures. The ones of Nella with her baby remind me of my daughter right now and really tugged on my heart strings to say the least. So sweet how much Lainey adores her Daddy!
as always your words inspire me and your pictures are full of love.
thank you.
My five year old nephew dragged his sick with a virus mother out of bed on Saturday morning, forced her into the shower & begged her to take him to his soccer game at
9am. All of which she obliged, happy to have him finally excited about this weekly event only to have him scream & cry for the whole 45 minutes they were at the field. It’s a kid thing.
Pic of Brett’s hopscotch leprechaun dance~funniest ever.
You’re such a great mom!! I feel I hover sometimes to. I never realized just HOW contrversial parenting was until I had my little one. BTW where did you get that amazing yellow sweater??? ๐
My girl sang with the children’s choir in front of our big church last night. She stood tall and sang. We were so proud. But I sat off to the side, inconspicuously videoung so she wouldn’t see me.
You know what’s funny? My son’s t-ball team was full of dads out on the field helping the boys. In fact, our family was the odd ball family because my husband had to work and didn’t come to practice!
I had a similar incident last week. My daughter Rose took her first dance class, which she was excited for ALL week. When I came to pick her up she was crying in the teacher’s arms.
“Sometimes they’re just not ready,” the teacher said compassionately. I loved that. No judgment, no apologies, just not ready. Her older brother said, “that’s okay. Rose can still dance at home.”
Perhaps Lainey is just not ready for soccer.
Nella, however, is clearly ready to nurture. So sweet.
Love the girl’s new jammies…..from Target? I bought my little man some the other day and saw those adorable grey animal print ones trimmed in pink. I thought they were so cute! And don’t worry about the soccer situation. You are a great mom and did what your instincts told you to do! When I was little I played soccer one season and hated it because the coach told me I kicked the ball like a ballerina. Well, I WAS a ballerina! Maybe that’s Lainey’s forte too! ๐
Happy Monday!!! ๐
Not sure which pic I like the best….Brett and hopscotch or Lainey and her Daddy! One got a laugh and the other an ahhhh….
i love the grils’ matching pjs!! too cute. that nella is something else ๐
frame that priceless moment of brett and lainey,love it!
have a great week!
Wow, you handled that coach thing with grace. He could use a lesson in grace lol So precious that your Lainey was gardening. That stuff is so fun with kids. And Nella is so precious with her babies. Girls are so fun!
– Sarah
http://agirlintransit.blogspot.com/
our 4 year old little had a very similar experience with soccer this past summer. the first whole game she cried in my lap by the sideline, and the second game i had to hold her hand through the entire practice AND game! the coaches in our league are ok with that at the youngest level, but i felt so silly running around out there!
to make me feel better, one of the coaches told me that her son once listed off the names of the kids on one of his other teams, and it went something like “brandon, cory, jacob, madison, madison’s mom, ava…” ๐
she’ll figure it out. and if not… oh well! by the third week our girl was out there chasing the ball like it was no one’s business. still emotional when she would get kicked or cut off, but overall she ended up really loving it.
I love this post, because it applies. My daughter is now 8 and we have always had the mentality to let her try it and if she likes it fine if she hates it then try something else. We did soccer for 4 years, and the best advice I was given when she was shy was to let her sit and watch and cheer her team. Sometimes they just need to watch and see that it really is fun. But you know what, she tried it for 4 years and this year she decided she wanted a break from soccer and we gave it to her. We will see if she decides to do soccer again next year. She has also done ballet and folkloric dance and karate. The one she loves and has not given up on is karate since the age of 4. It’s just a matter of letting them try. Sometimes they love it and sometimes they don’t. Believe I’ve been there right in the middle of the class making a fool of myself because I know if she just tries it she will have fun.
Oh Kelle, that coach did not handle that well. At 4 years old, that type of league would not have been a good fit our family. After several years of town soccer we moved over to an Upward team. The focus was so different. It gave my girls a new love for the game.
Have a good week!
aww… your girls are getting so big! it’s been a while since i was here last.
oh and my kaylin holds her bottle JUST LIKE THAT! so precious.
Oh man – try cut the cord – take 10000! I proudly fly my helicopter mom freak flag….just sayin – follow your instinct. With my 8 y/o, I figure the day will come when she doesn’t want me near her and her friends…..so I am flying that flag as long as I can! And lovin every minute of it. xoxoxo
Lainey is getting more and more beautiful with each day!
And I totally lol at the ibis convention
OMG, i love nella nad her babies, so cute!
as for “no parents on the field we know what we’re doing” yes, i’m sure they do. But an all or nothing approach with very distinctly different personalities isn’t good either. My oldest is a bit hesitant when it comes to new things too, and although I trust the teachers/coaches/instructors, i also know my baby. and sometimes all it takes is me coaxing her out and accompanying her for the first few minutes for her to feel ok with it and fly off on her own for the remainder of the class/lesson. and i think that’s better than her never participating b/c she’s still struggling with initiating the courage all on her own.
Your soccer experience was repeated with my daughter (my oldest one) many times (also with dance, swimming lessons, school, birthday parties, etc etc)
We KNOW they will love it if they go, but sometimes “policy” of soccer leagues (or other activities) only work if your child is NOT shy. I don’t think coaches take into account that many kids are not “ready” to do it alone in the beginning. Those coaches should have been more sympathetic to your situation and make both of you feel more comfortable. I will tell you this, despite being the *only* mama who had to stay at her preschool/kindergarten friends birthday parties many many times, this girl is now a self assured successful, outgoing business woman in her twenties ๐
That last picture of Nella made me laugh. What a clown!
You might appreciate this, my fellow holiday freak ~ “Esmerelda,” the Halloween witch, comes on Halloween Eve when we’re sleeping, and leaves something special in each of the kids’ carved pumpkins. Not candy but something Halloween related like funky socks or an Autumn fairy.
We get a total kick out of it.
I love the photo of Lainey & Brett.. The bond between them is beautiful!
We need more lazy days in my house ๐
Happy Monday! I’m sure that had to be hard to know what to do with Lainey on the soccer field. I am interested to see what I would do….it is so hard to cut the cord…I LOVE the last pic of Nella…what a gangsta!!!
Your daughters are unberably cute. The photo of Nella giving Elmo the bottle…just adorable.
I think learning when to push and let go and when to let your children retreat is an ever evolving one that takes a lot of trusting your gut and trying to eliminate “of the moment” emotion. It’s tough. Sounds like you are doing an awesome job though…as usual.
that last picture of nella is extra delicious. i could have a big honking slab of that cute baby for dinner.
Love the last picture of Miss Nella. And Nanna Kate, she is gorgeous!
your posts are always so inspiring dear kelle!
The picture of Nella feeding baby Elmo a bottle is to die for adorable!!!
Oh, but I recognise myself in what you did. Absolutely! Nothing strange about it.
Yes, the letting go part is difficult. We too want our boy to find confidence and trust his instincts.
My old boy had some ideas – that we did not really love – about subletting an apartment while moving in to a new one. I know not to try to convince, since he really dislikes that, so slowly we simply presented our opinions and worries…. Holding our breath!
Today he called me and he won’t sublet!!!! ๐
You win some and you loose some.
Love the precious, adorable photos! Bella and her dolls: so cute I get heartburn! Lainey and Brett: beautiful.
I think you’re a wonderful mother, Kelle, à role model!
Thanks for sharing so much and so lovely!
Happy Monday!
…. and Bella, of course, means Nella!!!
Hey Kelle. I love that picture of Lainey and her dad.
I see Lainey is still loving the cherry picking game!
I was wondering where the Ibis convention was being held…thanks for the info ๐
xooxo
Melina
You are such a great mum (re the soccer). I would have done exactly the same thing.
I loved the photo of Lainey and her daddy, and the hopschotch photos. Looks like Lainey has a very cool daddy as well.
bellissime immagini piene di amore!!
complimenti blog stupendo.
Dany
Nella feeding Elmo….my best!!!
Personally I think that at this age it is less about “cutting” the cord and more about stretching it. Giving our kids opportunities to spread their wings, but letting them know we are right here to catch them when they need us. Have been thinking a lot lately, especially on those extra-high-need days, about how very different it will be in 10 years when my boys are 15, 14 & 10… and how very much I will probably be missing that cord-connection.
And the leprechaun hopscotch moves?? Love it!
Happy monday.
Kate
Kelle-wanted you to know that your book is mentioned in Library Journal’s Prepub Alert blog (LJ is a trade publication for libraries; the Prepub Alert blog is written by LJ’s book editor. I’m including a link, but in case I can’t post links here:
http://blog.libraryjournal.com/prepubalert/2011/10/07/nonfiction-previews-apr-2012-pt-2-oklahoma-city-and-loung-ungs-life-after-the-killing-fields/
“Hampton, Kelle. Bloom Finding Beauty in the Unexpected: A Memoir. Morrow. Apr. 2012. 288p. ISBN 9780062045034. $24.99; eISBN 9780062045058. MEMOIR
After giving birth, Hampton realized immediately that little Nella had Down syndrome. But it’s a wise parent who knows that you love the child you get, and Hampton overcame her fear and pain to become an advocate for Nella—and for all individuals with Down syndrome. Since 2007, her award-winning blog, Enjoying the Small Things (www.kellehampton.com), has had more than 15.4 million page views and more than 6.8 million unique visitors, attracting visitors from almost 200 countries. Hampton doesn’t repeat her blog posts but instead revisits her first year with Nella. There are parents out there who will need this, and other readers who should be interested and moved. With a 75,000-copy first printing; a good purchase.”
The Lainey/Brett pics made my day!
the kids are so cute i wanna kiss them ๐
I have a kid who clings at the beginning of sports practices, and one thing that helps is to get there early. like, 15-20 minutes before the practice officially starts. If he has time to get used to being there, and run around a little informally, it goes a long way. (Of course, we are usually running late, so being early is laughable, but it is worth trying.)
Also, the coaches should have some better ways to coax her onto the field, rather than just yelling at you. sheesh.
Sweet shades Nella!!
This comment has been removed by the author.
So sweet. Thanks for sharing. I have a feeling I’ll be a helicopter parent judging by my current control-freak tendencies, but I hope I can at least be as aware of it as you are and work to control myself!
Funny thing is, I have had those moments, even as a nanny. And what’s even funnier is that I am normally the person on the opposite end, asking the parents to back off. Wether it be at the Sunday school I teach, or telling the parents they actually need to walk out the door in order for me to do my job as babysitter. Then the other day I had some kids with me for the weekend and took them to church. I wasn’t teaching Sunday school this week, and as I dropped the little girl off in the exact room I normally teach in, I found my self hovering, trying to find excuses not to leave, when I knew in my heart the little girl would be just fine until the moment I came back. And I discovered just why parents hover when the roles are reversed and I am the teacher. And now I am a bit more gracious when I ask the parents to back off. Because I understand what they are going through ๐
My Max has always been a ‘cling-on’. I normally handle it with all the understanding and laid-backness of Supermum BUT about a month ago he tried Swiss Boy Scouts. I followed him out onto the field for the group activity and as I went, just like you, I knew I shouldn’t be doing it. They were so nice and didn’t say anything but he wouldn’t go anywhere near the group. I know I ‘pushed’ because I wanted him to be involved in something in the local community. We left after a while and played on the playground. I didn’t get cross but I did sigh a lot. (I remember my Mum sighing like that;-) Oh well, I am only human. Hopefully I learned something from it. Your picture of Nella cuddling the baby is priceless. When my daughter does that my heartstrings are pulled. Lx
Oh Nella how sweet she is with those dolls now. And so groovy with those sunnies in that last photo. Honestly I can’t offer any advice about letting go with a child. I am a little worried cause I barely let out 2 dogs out of my sight, so if we have a little soon, I will be worse with a baby I’m sure!!!
Okay, it’s just weird that you always write about something that I’m struggling with at that moment. It’s one of many gifts you have, I suppose.
Landon, my 3-year-old Landon, is very slow to warm up to new situations. We have wanted to start him in a soccer but every time we take him to anything new he cries and screams and latches onto my leg so tight. I feel sad for him. It sometimes makes me wonder if he will ever be able to adjust.
The other day, I asked him what friends he played with at his preschool and he said, “I don’t have no friends, mommy.”
It was all I could do not to bawl my eyes out on the spot.
Yesterday we had a wonderful day at the pumpkin patch but he became terrified when we went to go on a hayride. My husband said, let’s not do this. But I put my foot down and said, “NO! We’re going and that’s final.” He cried for 10 minutes but eventually got quiet and just looked around. I feel like I reinforce his fear when I don’t let him calm himself down and just do it, ya know?
Anyway, it’s been a hard few months with him. He is so sensitive and I teeter between holding him tight and letting him go.
Cracking up laughing at what you said about Brett’s leprechaun/hopscotch moves!
Happy Monday back at ya!
XOXO,
Angie from Ohio
I know that feeling. It’s hard. My 10-year-old STILL does that clinging and hide-behind-mom thing from time to time, and I find it terribly embarrassing because I had hoped to teach her by now that being so terribly painfully fearful of life will always leave her feeling left out and disappointed. She knows this, too, because she’s experienced it many times over with her reluctance and then participation in things she dearly loves, and she certainly knows how she felt when she couldn’t work up the nerve to participate in something she really WANTED to do, so instead she watched her friends tearfully from the sideline. She knows, and I know, and yet neither of us know what to do about it when that fear strikes her. I don’t want to hide her, to allow her to cling to me, but I do remember what that fear feels like because I was a shy child, too, so through my understanding I still push. And most of the time she’ll be brave and go on her own when she needs to, but every now and then, she just can’t do it and we’re both sad.
They are so adorable!
http://www.momfashionworld.blogspot.com/
Ugh, this whole cutting the cord thing never gets easier, does it? I wrote about a similar topic, and how counterintuitive it is as a mother, recently on my blog–http://tunheimfamily.blogspot.com/2011/05/stretching-his-wings.html.
I’ve never commented on a blog before, but I felt compelled to tell you that I am deeply touched by your blog. I cherish the stories of love, connection, spirit, drive, and hope that your words and images tell. Thank you.
,,,i love the photos of nella and her babies,,,have a beautiful day!,,,
Love the pictures of Nella mothering! Oh, and that yellow sweater you’re wearing? Glorious! And I seem to remember you making a vow to wear more yellow… I’m glad you’re following through with that ๐ It suits you!
I can relate. Oh, how I can relate. My Keira was signed up for Little Gym Ballet/Tap and the moment we’d pull into the parking lot she was over it… didn’t want to go inside and pleaded to just go home. When we would go inside, I had to actually go with her into the dance room and sometimes we just sat at the wall. But when she did participate, she had a blast.
I’d love for her to do soccer. K has such great coordination and loves to run. It’s like a perfect fit for her; however, I know we’d be in the same boat. She won’t want to play without me there in the game with her and I have visions of her riding on my back while I run after the ball on her behalf. Ya, that’s not gonna happen. ๐
I figured right now is the right time for us to just play together with friends. We can get to the ballet/soccer thing going when she’s 5 or maybe 6. By then, we’ll have to fit it in between piano, violin, French lessons and all the other things “I” want her to take up. (hahaha)
Single, working mom, wants it all for her little girl…
Bless!
I reread your first ballet class post. It of course brings tears to my eyes. My little one just turned 2 last week and it’s already a whole different ball game! I can so relate.
we have that same Baby Elmo and my 22 month old LOVES him. The only problem is when I accidentally bump him in the middle of the night and he says, REALLY LOUD, ” ELMO GO SLEEPY!” then she wakes up and demands him…..
OH Kelle I feel your pain! I am that Mom too! But what else do you do when your 3 year old is crying because he wants you next to him and all you want him to do is participate?
Love the pictures of Lainey and her Daddy. Reminds me of the pictures of her and Daddy right after Nella was born and you welcomed him home at the airport. Those two only had eyes for each other, just precious. Don’t worry about helicoptering too much. You’ll know when to let her do things on her own. She’s becoming quite the little girl, you can really see it in the gardening pictures. Love Nella’s rockstar glasses.
As I read your story about soccer practice, I thought to myself — yep, that’s something I’d do. Oh wait…already did. And my girl? Same crying, same clinging to her mama…only it’s not over soccer. It’s ballet, it’s time at the park with friends, time to leave the house for school. My girl loves her mama and she doesn’t want to *de-cling*. Oh Kelle, am I in your boat!!
Like you, I’m always found reflecting afterwards; retracing my steps and wondering why the heck the whole thing bothers me so much anyway. On the inside, I’m giving myself the pep talk about how I do the best I can, how I can’t always control my kiddos emotional meltdowns or clinginess, how it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. {Still working on not caring as much. A work in progress, LOL}
But you’re right — it’s good to reflect and have the conversations that follow. I liked your positive spin on that one, and frankly, I needed to hear it. ๐
I’m loving Nella & her mama skills! How precious! And how adorable is that zebra outfit she’s got on!
Hope you have a great week! xo
My 3 year old is clingy and wall-flowerish too. It can be so hard!! I am always wondering why my child is the only one who doesn’t want to participate. I keep hoping she outgrows it, but so far I am right there with you. If you figure out the magic way to help her overcome her fear, will you please clue us in?!
I have to say, you’re kinda on fire today ๐ Really really funny!
This post made me cry. I don’t know what it was! Or I do – the photos of Nella feeding Elmo a bottle, and the oldest looking at her daddy. Love!
kelle, you are such a great mom. you are so inspiring. i don’t have babies yet, but you are such a joy to watch parent on your blog. great stories!
I’m guessing you’ve already heard it since I LOVE your playlist. But this post totally made me think of The Killers song, “Human.” Please listen to it and enjoy!! : )
close your eyes, clear your heart
cut the cord
are we human or are we dancer
my sign is vital, my hands are cold
and I’m on my knees looking for the answer
are we human or are we dancer
The leprechaun thing just cracked me up ๐
And don’t worry about the soccer situation. We’ve all been there in some way or another, and most of us know what it’s like to be “that” parent. As they grow older, they will amaze us with their sudden readiness to try new things and step out into new situations confidently. Perhaps then we’ll be the ones to hang on a little more while they nudge us to go, and let us know that they’re ok without their mom standing next to them …
That picture of Lainey and her Daddy is precious.
I ab-so-freakin’-lutely love your blog. Thanks for making me smile. Your girls are precious.
i know that you say that lainey is social and all but…i think that she is missing a lot of important learning and social skills by not being in preschool (just talking about traditional, 3x/week preschool, prek-3 and/or pre-k4) before starting kindergarden….
My oldest clung to the park bench while I pulled him away to get into…was it preschool…or swim classes. It’s a toughie, because he needed to learn to swim and how to be on his own without me. Gosh, that was a hard thing to do. I recall sending my husband the next time (and he didn’t fare much better). I think in time he realized he wasn’t going to win. Keep trying if your stomach can handle it…but don’t sweat it if it doesn’t and maybe give it another year or two before you go back again. Small kids, small problems. Most parents aren’t judging you because they’ve been there done that. Even though it feels like they may be judging…most aren’t and the ones who are aren’t worth thinking about. Thanks for sharing that, I know you helped alot of other young moms going through the same thing. The park bench clinger is now applying to colleges next year…he’s come a long way baby!
The pictures of Nella feeding her babies are adorable. The pictures of Lainey and Daddy priceless!!! Hope you have a awesome week.
My daughter is about a month younger than Nella and today for the first time she rocked her doll in a cradle and gave her “oouice” also known as juice.
Oh Kelle, how I know the feeling! We attempted soccer for one season, but our shy guy hid under the chairs – yes, actually crouched under the fold out chairs – and just watched. The other parents didn’t get it – they were cheering as their kids kicked the ball down the field. He is now 4 1/2 and totally into baseball and is showing signs of being a great athlete, but when we took him for fall sign ups with his older brother, he took one look at the crowd and said, “no way.” We figure he can keep practicing in our yard, and he’ll let us know when he’s ready for a crowd! Sometimes you just have to wait for their confidence to emerge, like a butterfly out of a cocoon. She will get there! And who says sports has to be her thing – maybe she’s the next broadway ballerina!
Several of your photos made me laugh tonight! Happy Monday back at ya!
That cutting the cord thing never ever goes away I think. I had to leave my baby girl standing in a college dorm room in August and it was excruciating! I put on a big brave face and bowed out once I got the feeling she was ready for me to go. It was horribly difficult and I came home and cried my eyes out. She is loving her new wings that she is spreading there and is flourishing in a way I never imagined she would so quickly and it gives me peace with her absence. She is only 50 miles away from home by the way and comes home most every weekend. ๐ I don’t even want to think about the possibility of a wedding in our future!
Kelle, I am so thankful for you.
We had a similar soccer experience this year. My 4 year old (Sarah and Lainey are about 2 weeks apart in age) wanted to play soccer. After 2 practices she was crying and wanting to go home. On game day she refused to play. Since then we have retired from soccer for now. I took it really hard a lot harder than she did.
Soccer. My now 8 year old could never really get into it. She’d stand at the back of the field and chit chat with her girlfriends. It just wasn’t her thang. And that’s okay. You are exposing your daughter’s to so much and they’ll be so well rounded for it. My daughter hasn’t taken soccer since that season. I think Lainey is a beautiful dancer. Perhaps that’s her thang. And Nella, darling Nella. She loves babies and Elmo just like my girl. They are so compassionate, loving and tender. I love how they take such good care of their “babies”. I always say, my Megan {9 with DS}, will be the best and aunt and babysitter EVER! So will Nella! Have a happy week! Thanks for sharing your journey with us! ๐
Nella got her motherly skills from you. You showed her perfect example with love. I am proud of you and of course I take you as an example of my own.
xoxo
My 5 year old played soccer this summer and his coach was the same way. They were so serious about it and none of the kids even had fun. They felt like they were in boot camp and being forced to do it right. It shouldn’t all be about winning, they are just kids.
*Aawww….the image of you frozen on the soccer field makes me teary. I used to run a Mother’s Day Out program (drop-in daycare) a few days a week and quite often found myself soothing & reassuring the mommies more than the babies. I love tender-hearted mamas.
*Nana Kate is stunning! Can only hope that the years will be that good to me.
*Nella and her babies….precious, I tell ya. The feeding Elmo pic is my FAV!
*Can I ask what Nella is drinking from her bottle? Nora still spits up (more like, PUKES) everyday. Still nursing, but trying to transition to something that might be easy on her tummy. She hates formula, but loves goats milk….but HOLY COW (or GOAT!) it stinks when it comes back up….bluck!
And GOOD GRAVY, that last pic of Nella!!! Had another hearty laugh on that one…..her’s a funny girl :O
Love to you all ~
Kelly
love that photo of Nella reclined, sipping from what we call a “ba-ba” around here . . .
and i know you know this already, but it bears repeating that you are the only one feeling self-conscious when the coach admonishes you. and you are always the one who knows your girl best. i would have gone out if my kid had asked me, too.
shit (no pun intended here), my almost 4 yo still goes back and forth with diapers and when his school director questioned me about it (not unkindly, but still, it was embarrassing), i was unapologetic, as he has clearly expressed that it’s the one thing that allows him to feel like the baby when his reality is that he’s the big brother.
maybe soccer for Lainey is about being one of the big boys, or something. who knows?
it’s all good, right?
Love the pic of Nella giving Elmo a bottle! Very cute!
Cool Ibis convention! How funny that their Aussie cousins have black legs & beaks instead of red.
Kelle, have you read this story? Get out the tissues before you do.
http://www.clarionledger.com/article/20111008/NEWS/110080352/Dreams-come-true-despite-disability
Oh, that story was cringe-worthy! But only because that would be me, for sure. I am not the best let-er-go-er. It’s so hard. But kudos to you (in my opinion) for not pushing her.
So many awesome photos in this post…but Nella feeding baby Elmo? ADORABLE.
Hi Kelle, I am a friend of your dad’s and I have 4 kids that are around your age. Don’t worry about the soccer. 4 is too young for organized team sports. Let Lainey kick the ball around the yard with the boys in your house, and ask her again if she’s interested in joining a team when she’s 7. My kids ended up being swimmers and tennis players but no one was wanted to play soccer after trying it for a season or 2 at age 7 or 8. In 2 years you will look back and laugh at the idea of a soccer team at age 4. It’s not for most kids. Please know that you are doing an awesome job of mothering. love, Debbie Somand
national ibis convention…now THAT’S funny!!!
๐
Oh, and (after reading a certain comment) I thought I’d share that for the record: I never went to preschool and I’m pretty sure I’m not socially stunted.
I just got “called out” at a school board meeting for wanting to introduce my 15yo son who was to make a presentation requesting access to public school sports for homeschoolers in our county. As I took the floor with my son, the chairman scolded me, “Oh, no! We only allow one person to present a topic.” “Pardon me,” I reply, “I am just here to introduce my son, if I may.”
Parents NEVER need apologize for looking after their children–physically, emotionally, spiritually, morally, even academically. Coaches and school board chairmen (and teachers, doctors, ministers, relatives . . .) may be well-intended but they cannot possibly know or love or children as we do.
Loving the look on Lainey’s face when she saw her daddy… sometimes, words are just overrated!
I love lazy days too!
Sometimes I wished I had hovered more, sometimes less – you never really know for sure ๐ Being attached to you is way better than the alternative. Hold her close like you are, and she’ll always tell you when she’s ready to fly.
Oh, you’re good…I would have pulled one of those mama bear tactics like wagging my head and finger while saying, “are you talking to me? Oh, I don’t think you’re talking to me! You think I’m going to push my kid out there on to the field, crying? He needs his mother for goodness sake!” See, you handled it perfectly well! LOL!
Nana Kate is gorgeous.
That’s all there is to it.
Kelle- We have now tried t-ball and flag football with our 5 year old son. NO-GO! T-ball was an aboslute no-go, flag football went great the 1st day, I was so proud that he got out there and did his thing; then the next week came and I couldn’t even get him out of the house, he was in tears and “sure” that he did not want to go. I went into some strange mode where I attempted to get him in the car and drive him to practice with the thought ‘once we’re there and he sees his buddies, he’ll be all about it’, not the case. In the end I shamefully will admit that I was very upset with him for signing up for something and not following through with it (I think that’s an important lesson of life, but at what point do we “Push” the issue)! It was one of those days I wish there was a manual, we got home and I called my step-mother begging for parenting advice (something I never do, as I have the “I got this parenting thing all under control” attitude; when in reality, I’m like the rest, flying by the seat of my pants! Basketball starts next month he says he wants to do it, do I sign him up??
Jamie… Yep – me too, to all of it. Kinda put off that I invested $$ in something that K in the end didn’t want to do, feeling bad about feeling bad and yet still tempted to try something new. I wait… I looked at all those great classes through the rec center and simply decided to wait. She’ll come around. I have faith in that.
I love your picture of the ibis team, they look really serious :))
The girls are fabulous and who cares if Lainey prefers gardening instead of soccer as long as she enjoys it.
Thanks for this great post!!
I have a few years until I have to worry about my girl participating in sports/activities, but I just don’t know what you’re supposed to do other than what you did! If my girl is shy like I was when I was little how am I supposed to just push her out there when she’s scared? I’m sure I’ll be out on the field with her too. ๐
Have a happy week!!
Hi Kelle,
It seems I have propellers too … as I have spent more than my fair share on the soccer field this fall with my 4-year-old son. And by “on the field” I mean running up and down next to him. And no one seems to care – and it makes him happy. My husband coached soccer when our older boys were 4 and he still talks of the little boy who refused to play soccer. He just didn’t want to do it. So instead, the boy (who was not our child) and my husband ended up playing tag and duck-duck-goose on the sidelines. Which is what most of the kids want to do by the end anyway. But Drew (my husband) knew that he wasn’t so much teaching little kids how to play soccer as he was making sure that each child who came to the field had a good time and looked forward to coming back. In fact when he asked a more experienced soccer coach how to teach 4-year-olds, the man said “Tell them to go home and come back in a few years.” So if it makes Lainey feel good to have you run with her – I say go for it. She’s only 4. And soon enough she’ll be telling you to back up a little and then a little more…
xo Courtney
Hi Kelle. My name’s Casey. I came across your blog a few months ago and got lost in it as I’m sure every one of your readers do. I have two girls the same ages as your sweet ones. Your posts are inspiring and your pictures are fantastic. I had to comment on this post seeing your little girl hug her daddy like that. A soft spot for me. My girls and I miss their daddy way more than we should have to. It’s heartbreaking, but the reunion, whether it’s been days or months… there’s nothing sweeter. Just like your picture. Thanks for sharing your amazing life and talent with words and photography!
I’m glad you’re planning on fol.owing her lead. I’m taking notes on parenting here.
And those pjs are great
Oh my gosh, Nella and her baby dolls is a heart melter, SO SWEET!!!!
Hi Kelle! You have probably already seen this, but I wanted to pass it along in case you didn’t. So sweet!
http://www.clarionledger.com/article/20111008/NEWS/110080352/Dreams-come-true-despite-disability
We had the EXACT same soccer weekend. My daughter is the same age as Lainey and we just started up soccer as well. So far, my daughter really doesn’t like it all and we have totally been on the field with her! We are in a parenting quandry too . . . quit or make her go and watch her just sulk on the field. Parenting is hard business!
Love your posts and love your red lips! Your blog is one of my favorites!
I love the humor in your writing. It always makes me smile!
That yellow looks wonderful on you Kelle. No wonder yellow is your favorite color!
xo
I love your blog and I have a couple of shy kids so I definitely get your dilemma with soccer. Some of the comments bother me though with criticizing the coach. It is hard to coach and he probably doesn’t get paid. In my town it is volunteer and every year there aren’t enough people willing to do it. There could be a couple reasons why he doesn’t want parents on the field. One is that some kids may be intimidated by the presence of an adult. While you probably wouldn’t have bothered my son, if a few parents got on the field he definitely would have left the field. Another is that some parents get really competitive. Even at these young ages some parents have a hard time keeping their own issues off the field. Not allowing any parent on the field may be a way of keeping this from becoming a problem. So while I definitely get your point of view, I also understand where the coach was coming from. Not that you criticized the coach, but a few have said how wrong he is and I just wanted to point out some possible reasons for the rule to be in place. Love the tea party and wish there was a place like that around here!
I love your blog so much too! God bless you and your sweet family. I have a 14 year old girl with Aspergers, sensory disorder and anxiety disorder — so even though the age difference between our girls is huge and it is “age appropriate” to act like your little Lainey on the soccor field, I can relate to how you feel. We get “the look” whenever Amy feels anxious – be it at a park or in a restaurant. You know what – it’s ok – I don’t even worry anymore about what people think, nor do I try to overcompensate in trying to gain their understanding. We know our kids, what they need and when they need it. I applaud you – I don’t think at age 4 any child needs to prove or feel pressured to perform. As a mom, you rock.
I just read a really sweet news article that I think you would enjoy.
http://www.clarionledger.com/article/20111008/NEWS/110080352/Dreams-come-true-despite-disability
Eek! Is that a bottle sweet Nella is enjoying!? You didn’t quit nursing did you? I know your going to say its really ‘nonya business’…but I was a silent cheerer on’er of your nursing!
I say longer the better, after all you know in your heart they will be ‘housebroke and weaned’ by the time kindergarten rolls around, so why not one more month! *smiles*
Love it! Great pics and love baby Nella and the sunnies ๐ too cute!
the cool pic of the tiny chica in light zebra print and shades about says it all. really enjoyed this post.
Oh my, I love that picture of Nella and Elmo! Too precious for words!
Cxx
I have a bit of a letting go problem too. I think not being able to let go is okay, they are only little for so long and will remember the days of us holding their hand. Gorgeous shots as always, love those zebra pj’s.
I dread the day when I have a “cut the cord, b*tch” moment. But as soon as I saw the post, I knew where this was going and started to laugh. You’re following your Mama instincts, even when the parents are nicely reminded to stay back. Lainey will remember you for always being there when she needed that boost.
-Jennifer
xoxo,
Bug & Ruby’s Gram
My favorite Kelle quote:
“Have I told you today how much your smile makes me happy?!!”
Perfect for Lainey and her daddy’s pics.
With all my heart thank you for your life lessons. You help me be a better mommy, friend, women…
I saw this today and thought of you and your sweet babies.
http://www.clarionledger.com/article/20111008/NEWS/110080352/Dreams-come-true-despite-disability
It’s an article about a girl with down syndrome who recently became homecoming queen. (No pressure Nella. We’ll all still love you, even if you choose not to run.) Anyway, I thought it was sweet and would make you smile.
Love all the pics!! Super cute:)
Hi Kelle,
I’ve been reading your blog for a little while now (and I really enjoy it, thanks!) and have never commented before, but that photo of Brett doing the hopscotch made me laugh out loud! I reckon he’s an awesome Dad – I love seeing dads get in there and have fun with their kids, especially when they’re doing ‘girly’ stuff. It’s cool.
Oh thank god. Thank god there are other parents who go through this. And thank god you’re one of them. And…thank god you’re nice enough to post this, so I don’t feel so all alone!
You rock – we’ve all had those parental moments. It’s just so nice to know I’m not alone.
I’m so sorry about the experience on the soccer field and for the coaches words, my face is burning just reading it. What a horrible policy/approach for 4 yo soccer… I’ve often posted how I was like Lainey as a child, but my Mom was not one to go out onto that field and you know what, there were so many things I gave up or didn’t try because of that… Keep parenting by instinct, it’s clear Lainey and Nella are ROCK STAR kiddos because of your mothering!
Oh my gosh, that last picture made me smile. thank you.
In April I had to face the realization that my 4 year old little guy was not ready to be a soccer player. I just put him in because thats what all the other parents were doing and because he did say it sounded like fun. He practiced well, but at game time, he either clung to me or just followed the other kids around on the field. I encouraged him and shamelessly bribed him but nothing worked. He said he felt rude trying to take the ball off of the other kids! It took the wisdom of my 15 year old to point out the obvious. He just didn’t like the competitiveness of this game and he didn’t like soccer and that’s completely ok. He might like soccer someday, but if he doesn’t, I’m sure he’ll enjoy something else. I have trouble sometimes letting go of my ideas of what I want for my children vs. what they want for themselves. Thank you for sharing the day to day experiences with those adorable children of yours. Your posts are always so encouraging and remind me it’s okay to be human. Enjoy your weekend!