Take Joy

March 8, 2012 By Kelle

I love when I end Monday posts with this sort of “Woo hoo, it’s going to be a great week!” declaration, and then things go to the crapper (Sorry, Dad. Crapper. I know.). And while we’re on it, every time I listen to “I Gotta Feeling,” I get so excited about tonight being such a good good night that when it isn’t, I personally want to hold the Black Eyed Peas responsible. This isn’t to say I’ll stop declaring, stop singing or, as Journey would say, stop believing. I’ll hold on to that feeling, thank you very much.

Insert random picture of happy thing.

Alright, another happy thing.

She can push it. By herself. Yes, she can.

Brett’s been gone to Miami for work since Tuesday morning, and minutes after he left, I got a wicked cold. This is bad for multiple reasons. Namely, two friends had babies this week and there are two newborns I can’t hold right now.

Insert third very happy thing, Heidi’s baby girl, Ivy Lynn.

Parenting is challenging when you are both sick and alone. I had planned to write tonight about how I crashed in bed early last night and almost cried with exhaustion, how I lost my cool this morning with Lainey, how I failed to welcome Brett like he deserved tonight because all I wanted to do was pass him the kids and head out for a solitary walk in peace. But I try to always write what I feel and, at this moment, it does not amuse me to talk about the struggles of the past few days. I’m kind of over it.

Hello, Sunshine.

This is part of life, and not every night is going to be a good good night, no matter what the song says.

This afternoon I hugged Lainey and sat across from her at our counter bar stools, her little hands folded inside mine. I told her I didn’t feel good and that I was sorry I got upset this morning, sorry I yelled and made her not feel so great. We talked about things that make us both upset, and she was thrilled to elaborate. She was eager to forgive me, and in that moment, I felt redeemed for all the ways things didn’t go so swimmingly this week. Striving to be a good mom, a loving mom, a mom who’s always trying her best is so much more fulfilling than striving to be a perfect mom.

My friend sent me a quote today, appropriately timed.

“The gloom of the world is but a shadow; behind it, yet within our reach, is joy. Take joy.” ~Fra Giovanni Giocondo

There will be days where it will feel good to expound on the ick of the moment, days where leaving the lights off will be needful. But tonight, I’m flipping the switch back on.

*****

On to more amusing things of the moment. Behold, my current spring obsessions: flowery things, yellow things, things that tie into bows, mint green things, pastel polka dot things, things that grow. You know…spring things.

And Nella got her first pair of Saltwaters. Appropriately yellow. It is officially time to go run through a field of daisies.

*****

As unbalanced as the past few days have seemed, we made efforts as best we could to balance lazy indoors with rejuvinating outdoors.

We colored in bed the other night, and I finally had to turn out the lights after I realized I had spent 45 minutes obsessively shading a Strawberry Shortcake scene to perfection (this isn’t the first time). We had a system too. I called out crayon colors like a surgeon requesting tools, and Lainey made them quickly available, passing them to me in scrub nurse fashion.

“Green.”

Pass.

“Light Blue.”

Pass.

“Reddish Brownish.”

Pass.

And there was no bypassing the scrub nurse. I once reached for Midnight Blue, and Sister snatched it with a fiery glare. “I’M THE PASSER!”

Nella loves to watch Lainey play phone games.

Just as I lunged toward the front door for a walk when Brett returned tonight, I have found the most peaceful, assuring environment lately is outside.

Our driveway is decorated with an array of colorful yard toys and trikes and outlined by sidewalk chalk sketches. Sunshine, wind, and gardenia scents happen to work as Nature’s cough drop.

cookies and milk in the woods

I have better thoughts which might lend themselves to a more put together post tomorrow. But for now, there’s a husband I haven’t seen in a while and a bag of lemon menthol drops calling my name.

*****

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Tomorrow morning, I’ll be doing a fun giveaway for an advanced signed copy of Bloom on Enjoying the Small Things Facebook page at 10 a.m. EST. Stop by!

Also, if you’ve pre-ordered your copy of Bloom for pre-order incentives, please remember that receipts must be mailed to bloompreorder@comcast.net and not the blog address. All pre-order incentives will be honored through April 2, so there’s still time. So many of you have purchased 10 copies with your book club, and I’m so excited about the Skype chats! If you’ve e-mailed your 10 copy receipt, I will be scheduling these soon.

Pre-order Incentive reminder: