Early this summer, I shared how therapy is strengthening our marriage and why we love it. I asked for the best marriage advice you’ve ever received on Instagram. These are some of my favorite replies. Happy Friday!
Marriage therapy throughout marriage is almost like “well visits”–helps stop problems, helps build a strong foundation. @_natasha_ann_
Go to bed angry! If we get mad or upset, instead of trying to hash it out at night, we rest. Sleep. And generally when we wake up, we either forget we were angry or it doesn’t matter enough to start being angry about it again. @littleavalyn
Think as a long term investor, not as a get-rich-quick day trader. Bad days, bad months, even bad years do not equate to a bad life. Keep investing and trust that it will grow. And the best life motto is also the best marriage motto: Be kind to one another. @greenthumbinpuzzler
A marriage doesn’t need agreement to survive, but rather, empathy. Don’t assume your spouse knows you’re empathetic towards him. Actually say the words, “I would feel that way too if I believed what you believe.” @kayla_gray00
Before I got married, a divorced friend of mine said to never threaten divorce, even jokingly. I’ve always remembered that. @kwriddick
When you stop working on your marriage, your marriage stops working. @wahinekehau
Give each other space and time. Encourage your partner to be an individual and do your own thing as well. Don’t get caught up in marriage and loose yourself. Remember to never let go of who you are. Take care of yourself so you can take care of each other. @mdvanriper
You will fall in and out of passion. Many people mistake that for falling out of love. But when you make the effort to be friends and partners, love is an action, not a feeling; and that passion will always come back around. Some days you feel like you are looking at a stranger, so just do the next right thing. @meganjeffery3171
Best marriage advice is also my best life advice: anger is almost always rooted in fear. Keep digging for it and you’ll find they aren’t mad at you, they are scared of something bigger. @joniedelman
You don’t have to say everything you think. @abharward
Not so much from being told, but from observing: Compromise, compassion, and communication. My parents fought my entire childhood, all the way until my dad passed. I never wanted that for myself or my kids.
All soooo good! I would add learn each other’s love language and speak it often!
Best marriage advice: Keep laughing! If your partner can make you laugh then the anger flies out the window. Laughter is the best medicine!
“You will fall in and out of passion. Many people mistake that for falling out of love. But when you make the effort to be friends and partners, love is an action, not a feeling; and that passion will always come back around.”
Expert level, right there @meganjeffery3171
I believe that one’s marriage needs to be the #1 priority. If it is, everything else will fall into line.
I used to tell my ex-husband that love was a verb. It is an action. It is easy to say, “I love you”. It is far harder to love someone through the bad times and that is when your actions demonstrate commitment and love. Sadly my marriage is no more.
Never take each other for granted, lots of compromise and giving each other the freedom and space to do things they like without the guilt. Always being there as a sounding board and knowing when to talk and when to stay quiet.
I think Leigh is right on track about compromising, freedom, and communication.
In addition, there has to be an understanding that it’s okay to be angry- for awhile. Is it worth your happiness to sit around upset for days?
Giving the cold shoulder or nagging about an issue isn’t going to repair your relationship any faster.
Recognize reception signs from your partner. Communicating is near impossible if one of you is closed off from the other.
Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint.