my calendar sits on my desk at all times, front and center from the computer serving not only as a place to fill my schedule but conveniently also as a typing armrest, a coaster (with coffee rings to prove it), a notebook for my thoughts and a coloring book for lainey. and being that calendar months don’t always receive the praise they deserve, i am hereby bestowing trophies upon the tattered pages of may and june on my beloved susan branch calendar that has become my second brain. and, if it weren’t for susan’s delightful drawings of picket fences and nantucket landscapes or her sugary positivity-injecting quotes, there’s a good chance i could have ripped these poor months to shreds. among the over-extending shoots/appointments/
functions peppering the pages of may and june are scribbles, phone numbers, order total addition columns, names of songs i randomly heard and liked, doodlings from lainey, e-mail addresses, and a few penciled happy faces.
busy to say the least. and while my mind has been a bit of a skipping stone as of late, i can, at least say that i love what i’ve been doing. close to tears from the stress of getting everything done…yes. but loving it at the same time. and it all comes down to balance, an intimidating concept for me. because i have huge tendencies to give a trillion percent to one area all the while draining another area dry. like my poor house. or my body that’s begging for a sit-down meal and substantial sleep.
but i am learning. and, while i am madly swimming to get caught up these next few days, i am looking forward to our road trip next week. being with my girl in the car and taking her to beautiful places i want her to see. chinese firedrills. honking across state lines. silly car songs. being with my friend and knowing we will laugh hard, cry hard, and hardly remember all the times the kids screamed ten-minutes straight. i’m looking forward to finding new places i’ve never seen. stopping for georgia peaches. paddle boating in tennessee. snuggling into a hotel bed with my little weary road-traveler. seeing my sister’s new place. my nieces crawling into my lap. being welcomed into my dad’s home like only my dad can do. hugging my mom. dancing my brother’s crazy dance with him. staying up late with my cousins. watching my little be loved by people i love. no appointments…no phone calls…no e-mails. just…being.
hanging on to that. and, in the meantime, when my heart just couldn’t take my yearning to really be with her this week anymore…amidst editing and orders and catching up…i stole away several times to give her my everything.
like our water fun today. i’m always stretching to think of things to do with her. new things…creative things. but sometimes we think too hard. she likes to be home. she likes water. she likes her mama’s attention. she likes popsicles and spraying latte with the hose.
she likes impromptu picnics and polishing our nails in the grass so the hot sun dries ’em fast.
she likes when i trace her body with sidewalk chalk on the driveway and put a smiley face in it.
she likes learning to ride her tricycle and giving up two seconds after.
she likes drying off and settling down on the big blanket under the shady tree in our side yard.
reading books with her mama and lying down for an outside nap.
and during all this, i think hard. about that whole balance thing and the fact that, although i fervently believe in women and mothers investing in life beyond their children if not just for the simple reason of demonstrating to our girls that women can have it all and that our identities are complicated communions of loves and passions, responsibilites and talents, dreams and challenges…besides all that, there is this underlying throbbing reminder that she is little for oh-so-little and that there isn’t a passion in this world that could flood my heart with as much happiness just her being grants me. and there is nothing more important than that.
…and since we’re just rambling right now, i might as well tangent over to the daddy.
truly, he deserves a post of his own…and he’ll get one.
but, today…i was tired and stressed enough to cry for no other reason than watching him be with her.
their love is such a good, good thing.
and if i’m as good a mama as he is a daddy, then i’m doing really well.
oh…she spotted her first rainbow last night…
as she proudly pointed to the colorful sky.
hoping for bluebirds on the other side.
until then…there’s balance.
oh…and the summer stationery giveaway.
randomly generated # 9 and #15…danelle and april.
so, danelle and april…e-mail me please and send me your addresses so i can send these along!
OK, in the midst of these growing up girl photos, the ones of her on the white blanket, in her hoodie tell me she’s still my baby. Can’t wait to see her next week. Can’t wait to hear her little voice saying all the words she says now. She is gettin’ so darn cute!!!! Holding dad’s finger…priceless!
Kelle, thank you for this precious post. It was a sweet reminder that my own little is that way for such a short time…..and that she, too, is perfectly content with our backyard, a hose, and her momma. I may have had tears at the end, but they were good ones, I promise! Thank you!!
beautifully written! i’ve been there (heck, i think we’ve all been there) with the whole balancing act. and what it comes down to is, just as you said, our littles and the little time we have them that way. so keep enjoying, as you always do! because inevitably, it works out and falls into place.
also, am i #15? if so, that is awesome, rad … okay, i’m cracking myself up! when is the last time you heard someone say that?
i’m only asking because i thought there was another april that commented on your blog from time to time.
anyway, if it’s me, i e-mailed you my address with my photo order. but if you misplaced it in the middle of your balancing act, i could resend it.
let me know!
apriljnelson[at]hotmail[dot]com
sorry about the crazy long comment. i think i’m overtired. better head to bed!
I was randomly generated!!! WOW! I’m excited about that. I read your blog daily and love it. I’m trying to find your email address but I am coming up short and running short on time too. My email is danelle_ly@yahoo.com. Can you email me first?? Hey! Thanks!
“Your life is a chair and the goal in life is to keep all the legs (priorities) even!”
~Arliss Perriello
Life gets kinda wobbly sometimes, but you have MI just around the corner to get your chair back aligned. (taking off my comment emails to help stabilize your chair a .001 centimeter)
Have fun at your photo appt today – I know you’ll get lots of frameable shots!:)
oh balance. you’re a working mama, balance is highly overrated anyway. just keep following your heart. much easier. oh and take care of yourself and get some decent sleep. 🙂
i dont know how but she’s getting cuter and cuter! i can’t wait till your up here!
I’m jealous April won the postcards. ‘Course, I didn’t enter, so I can’t be too jealous.
Finding balance, it is a precarious thing. It’s hard. But, it is so worth it. Enjoying the everyday, the little moments, the in-between.
Love the water shots with Lainey, and I am so loving that crocheted hat. It is so perfect on her.
I was going to tell you – if you needed a place to stop over near Chicago on your way to Michigan, I know a great house for a sleep over. Not mine, of course – but, we could have such a fun girl sleep over at April’s house!!!
just when i think your words and pics are the most amazing, you come up with even more incredible insights and photos. you describe being a woman and mother and wife oh so well and if i could only do a quarter of what you do for your family…well…it would be incredible. so again i say thank you for being you and my very good friend. you are amazing. i’m so blessed to have you in my life. love you, lainey, brett and the boys.
uh…tears…AGAIN.
you are working so hard. i can’t wait for you to have a BIG break, see your sis, and all the other family! i can not wait until we are roadtripping, ignoring the screams (cause you know, eventually there will be screams even with all of our activities planned/bribes, loving life, honking through the state line of each state, wearing the “sisterhood of the traveling cowboy hats!!!!”
go get you a nap! you deserve it.
UM………..YOU…..AND….HEIDI??
I BETTER SEE YOU AT MY FRONT DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAHHHHGHHHHHhahhahahahaahhaaa Im so happy!!!!!!!!!
There was no rambling going on in this post. You are always putting things into the right frame of mind. I love the pictures of Lainey pointing to the rainbow.
had to come back and relook to make my comment. Such love in those photos! So crisp and delightful. Lainey’s eyelashes kill me.
Glad you are a bit out of the work weeds and can take naps in your backyard and chill on your road trip…although even when you are busy, you take time to enjoy. I like that. xo
Kelle,
I commented on your blog a while back but I just loved the budoir post of your friend Andrea.
Then I saw that you were heading up to MI soon… I do realize that you are on vacation… but would you be interested on doing a little business while you are in the north?
My husband is in the Marines and is currently deployed over in Afgan… i would love to send him some fun photos for his birthday. Something like me, the american flag, and cowboy boots in budoir style would be fun.
HOWEVER, if you prefer not to, I completely understand! I just couldn’t resit asking! 🙂
oh oh oh AND your little pip is so darling. I love your photos.