Enjoying the Small Things

Enjoying the Small Things

Enjoying Spring

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It had been a while since I sat down for a good editing session of personal photos, so last night when I finally carved out some time to go through the past few weeks worth of memories, it took me a minute to get over the itch to get up and do something else instead. I can definitely feel the poisonous effects of this instant gratification, get-it-done-quick culture when I attempt to sit down and focus for a while–even if it’s something I love to do–and editing our family memories is something I’ve always loved to do. But after I was sitting for a while and clicking through photos on my screen, I remembered why I love this so much–such gratitude for all these simple moments we’ve lived together the past few weeks and how suddenly the magic shines above the “Groundhog Day” cloud I was feeling just moments earlier from getting backpacks ready for another school week.

Sorting beach shell finds a few weeks go, on our garage floor.

There’s no rhyme or reason to these photos, and I’m not even going to attempt to weave them together with feigned transitions.

Some moments of note lately…

On Trumpeting
Lainey is playing the trumpet this year. I was overjoyed, of course, because I too played the trumpet when I was a kid, even landing a (poorly performed) solo–Scherzo by Shelukov–at the fifth grade band concert. After half a semester though, Lainey decided that she “hates that stupid thing” and has no interest in pursuing further middle school band dreams. Being that she has to lug a large ugly suitcase to and from school every day in addition to the already ridiculously oversized backpack with the largest binder known to mankind, and the fact that trumpet spit must be drained during practice, Brett and I fully support her trumpet career retirement. Also, in case you were wondering, whipping out your middle school daughter’s trumpet and saying “Hey, want to see if I still got it?” when her friends are over is the fastest way to elicit a facial reaction that clearly says “STFU, Mom.” This will be the one and only photo we captured of her playing the trumpet. We will pull this out at family reunions someday.

On Quality Parent Moments
I’d like to submit this evidence–my kid, barefoot on a train track (we never did find her flip-flops that day), holding a grape Fanta. You’re welcome.

On Milestones
“I’m taking these training wheels off if you want to come get pictures,” Brett yelled into the house from the garage. So I scrambled for my camera and met them outside. We knew it was time, and we suspected exactly what happened…that with one guided push, he’d confidently take off on his own and never look back. There’s something about watching your husband let go of your last baby as he pedals down the sidewalk, squealing with laughter, bursting with pride.

On Last Minute Plans To Book It With Your Best Friend
We are very good at spontaneous adventures–we’ve been having them for eleven years now. The rule is always low expectations and go with the flow. The result is always some kind of “What were we thinking?” story as proven this time, on our 3-day Tampa trip, by the numerous times we threatened to turn around and go home. But the greater result is memories–hilarious, bonding, wouldn’t-want-it-any-other-way memories.

We brought scooters for the kids (the best!) and spent most of our days walking beside them through Hyde Park, along the bay, up and down streets with ivy-covered homes with big front porches and friendly dogs who greeted us.

We stopped at parks…

Spent an afternoon at the museum…

Sat on hot pavement while we watched the kids cool off in the splash pad…

…and made long relaxed visits to Tampa’s family-friendly hangouts. Armature Works…

…Hyde Park Village, Sparkman Wharf and Oxford Exchange.

Dash asked if he could take a few pictures at Oxford Exchange. This is one of the clearer ones:

When we weren’t scootering around the city, we cozied up in our Airbnb which didn’t exactly turn out as it was advertised, but it did have an outdoor fireplace and beautiful morning light in the kitchen.

My Fair Family
Spring wouldn’t be spring without our annual tradition of hitting the Collier County Fair. Everything there has been the same for all the years we’ve been coming–same rides, same funnel cake stands, same taco truck where we order the same thing every year and ask diners at another picnic table if we can steal the taco sauce bottle because there’s always only one.

Even the the sweet lady who attends the women’s bathroom is the same every year (Yes! Our fairgrounds bathroom has a bathroom attendant!). The only thing that changes is us. This year, Brett’s sister joined our fair crew (she moved here from Chicago late last year, and it’s so nice having more family here!).

It rained, and I complained–and legit held a grudge against Brett for a good half hour because he swore it wouldn’t rain, and predicting the weather is his specialty. His response: “Kelle, I’m not God.” I got over it.

Dash was unstoppable this year, attempting every single ride he could–full throttle.

Lainey nervously watched him on a questionable stomach-drop, has-this-thing-been-inspected-lately?! ride…

…while I tried to flag down my dad, mouthing “Get him off.” But he loved it and everyone lived to tell.

Our little family has stamped so many memories on these grounds. And somewhere, buried under this dirt, is Lainey’s first tooth she ever lost.

Spring Forward
And now here we are–it’s April!

…and everything seems to start speeding up double time come April so that summer will be here before we know it.

When the world speeds up, we push back by slowing down a bit. More afternoon tea, driveway sidewalk chalk therapy, family walks, weekend Farmer’s markets, brunches with friends, sunsets at the beach, shell sorting sessions in the garage, books read out loud and favorite playlists on repeat in the kitchen as we clean and cook and carry on…making our own little celebrations every day.

Happy April! There are good things to come.

Signature Red Lips

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Important Friday business here–we’re talking lipstick, specifically RED lipstick, the Little Black Dress of the makeup world. I started wearing lipstick when I was a teenager, awkwardly stumbling into the makeup world with a multi-year commitment to Revlon’s Toast of New York, a brownish almost red that was popular in the 90’s and was a safe enough step down from a fiery red for a churchy homeschooled girl who burned her BMG CD collection because it was worldly. The store aisle ads of Cindy Crawford said she was wearing Toast of New York, and everyone in the Speigel and Chadwicks catalogues at that time seemed to be wearing a similar combination of brown + red + pink, so I felt “in” with the lipstick crowd. It wasn’t until years later that I’d step into the magical Land of Red with a swipe of Ruby Woo, and ever since there’s been a tube of red at the bottom of every purse I own. While I don’t wear red lipstick everyday (I’m having a current affair with Red’s cousin, Pinky Nude), I will forever be entranced by its instant transformative powers. Red pulls me together when I’m falling apart. It’s the smoke and mirrors I need on days when I’m feeling tired or doubtful: “I’m awake!” “I’m feeling bold!” And it classically pairs both with a black dress or jeans & white t-shirt as if they were made for each other. However, while there aren’t that many shades of black when it comes to dresses, there are numerous shades of red lipstick; and not all are equal.

Before I get to my favorite reds, here are a few red rules I live by:

1)  ANYONE CAN WEAR RED LIPSTICK! TRY IT! It’s the same rule that applies to hats. Anyone can be “hat girl,” but people shy away from a hat they really want to wear because they feel awkward the first time they wear one. You do not have to have a history of bold fashion choices to make a bold fashion choice, and red lipstick isn’t just for risk-takers. It’s classic. No one’s thinking about your lipstick except you, so get out of your head and wear the lipstick–don’t let the lipstick wear you.

2) Go light on the rest of the make-up. It’s like jewelry. If you’re wearing statement earrings, don’t also wear a statement necklace. Red lips are a statement, and they need to be balanced with lighter make-up on the rest of the face. I love a good smoky eye but only with nude lips. When I wear red lipstick, I try and keep everything else light and bright. Leave the gun, take the cannoli. Skip the dark eyeshadow, wear the red lipstick.

3) Define the edges. I might be able to apply nude lipstick blindly in the car while I’m driving and get away with it, but not red. I use red lipliner when I’m wearing red lipstick–or at least a super tedious application so that there’s no red bleeding out past my lip line.

4) Shade and texture matter. Sometimes, if I’m wearing something orangey, I’ll wear an orangey red lipstick; but for the most part, I like a classic red that has cooler tones because it makes your teeth look whiter. This is also true with texture. I love a good matte lipstick, but anything too matte can highlight stained teeth and make your lips look dry. If I wear matte, I always swipe on a little lip balm first and sometimes a little on top as well.

My Favorite Reds

Stila Stay All Day Matte’ificent Lipstik in Bisou – I get compliments every time I wear this, and it’s my go-to red lately. It’s matte but really soft and moisturizing, and it’s the perfect shade of classic red.

Revlon Ultra HD Matte Lipcolor in Love (625) – It looks like a gloss but applies matte, and it’s fabulous. Also, bonus points for inexpensive. It’s a bright fire engine red and all you need for a red lipstick if you want to keep your makeup budget at the drug store level.

Sonia Kashuk Poppy Nude 03 Velvety Matte Lip Crayon – I don’t know why the word “nude” is in this color because it’s clearly red. This is a little warmer red–great for spring and summer–and I love it. I also love that it’s a crayon (looks like a fat pencil) because I can use it as both liner and lipstick, and it applies really clean. Bonus? Inexpensive, easy to pick up on a Target run.

MAC Ruby Woo – (matte) It’s a cult classic and probably MAC’s most “signature” red. I’ve worn this shade for years and I find old tubes in sweater pockets and old purses.

MAC Russian Red — (matte) A cool-toned crimson. Did you know it was created for Madonna for her Blonde Ambition tour in 1990? It was during her cone bra stage, and MAC made it to match that vampy vibe of the tour.

MAC Powder Kiss in Style Shocked– This is my favorite orangey red (when I’m wearing something coral or orange). And I love the finish–it’s a moisture matte. You still get the look of matte but without feeling like you’re dragging a broken crayon across your lips. Weightless and non-drying.

Lessons Learned from Sidewalk Chalk

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If you’ve been reading here long, you know that sidewalk chalk is a big thing in our family.

Our kids learned to draw holding fat sticks of chalk instead of crayons, and I don’t know that there’s ever been a time in the last twelve years–give or take a couple post hurricane downpours–that our driveway hasn’t displayed, at the very least, the faint outlines of a heart, a rainbow or someone’s name in bubble letters.

It doesn’t help, of course, that we graduated from pastel sidewalk chalk to highly pigmented art chalk a few years ago, leaving our driveway in a constant state of–as Brett puts it–“a circus show.” As if we hadn’t already earned that title in our neighborhood the day Dash ran out the door naked wearing a Carol Brady wig, chasing the dog who was wearing a dress. Long story for another day.

My point is, we are well-chalked in this family, and the bottoms of my kids’ feet on any given sunny afternoon prove it. Our driveway is our go-to when we need to decompress, our bonding place when we need some together time, and our invitation to step away from phones and T.V.s for some good old brain-stretching artistic therapy.

During a family chalkfest this past weekend, I thought about the archives of memories we have in this driveway and realized how special this activity has become for our family and how much we’ve learned from it.

1. Art Heals Stress
A friend of mine with a teenager told me one of her best pieces of advice for those pre-teen emotional overwhelm moments is to have a cool-down strategy. Hers was always, “Go take a shower.” Ours? Take it to the driveway! I can’t tell you how many times we’ve settled our escalated emotions with chalk, and it always works. Just the other night, Lainey was upset about something and before I could even suggest it, she asked, “Where’s the chalk?” Sometimes we make art alone in the driveway, sometimes it’s all of us together, but it’s always served as a great way to relax and calm down when life gets crazy.

2. Don’t Tear Down Your Work
Things I’ve heard from my kids in our driveway chalk sessions: “I’m a bad drawer,” “Yours is way better,” “I stink at art”–all of which have served as great catalysts for important conversations about how we value our efforts and talk about our own work. We’ve all said these kinds of things in our mind to ourselves about our own creative work, so having repeated conversations with our kids about self talk is a great reminder for us too. We remind ourselves that comparing our creative work to someone else’s creative work is like comparing apples to oranges, and sayings like “I’m a bad drawer” not only beat ourselves up, but they are lazy, broad assessments that aren’t productive motivators to helping us do better. Through creating numerous drawings that we are both proud of and disappointed in, we are practicing good art critique self talks with questions like “What don’t you like about it?,” “What DO you like about it?” and “What could I have done differently to make it more pleasing to my own eye?”

3. Good Art Takes Determination & Time
My kids have been asking me to draw things in our driveway for years now. While I can’t produce everything they ask me to draw, I try my best to create renderings of their favorite movie and book characters. I take photos of every one (even the ones that didn’t turn out great–I’m looking at you, Moana) and store the pictures in a hashtag as well as a folder titled “Much to Chalk About” on my computer. If it’s any good, it’s not because I whipped it up with magical talent. It’s because I stayed committed to my vision and the time it takes to work slowly and tediously. I’m watching my kids do the same now–slowing down, looking at photos they want to recreate, drawing little by little, shading and blending colors and not expecting good art to magically appear on the sidewalk. I learned to draw from watching my dad draw for years and practicing over and over and over. I learned to draw by creating lots of “bad” drawings and not shutting down because I thought they were no good. I’m still learning to draw by returning to the pavement with chalk, to sketchbooks with paints and to paper with pencil, committed to the lifelong process of creating art that is a tiny bit better than the last time I created art. Good art is more about the process than the finished product.

4. Find Something You Love to Do With Your Kids
This is probably my favorite thing I’ve learned through sidewalk chalk sessions. I’ve found “Our Thing”–something I really love to do with my kids, something that never fails to bring us together, something I’ll always say yes to not because I’m doing them a favor but because I really want to be out there drawing in the driveway. Playing Barbies with Nella isn’t always fun for me (I last an average of 6 minutes), but sidewalk chalk? I’m usually the last one standing. And I know my kids can sense that–they’re happy that I’m happy, and you know what they say about Mama being happy–everyone’s happy. That thing you love to do with your kids? It’s the secret cure to witching hours, bad moods, long days and family challenges. Find your thing. In doing so, let me warn you that you may also find what is definitely not your thing. Like Chuck e Cheese.

A few more from our chalk archives:

One of Lainey’s first people drawings…

Chalk serving as Nella’s Occupational Therapy…

Last week’s Woody & Jessie…

We stay stocked up on this chalk for the good pigmented drawings and usually store it in a little basket in our garage (I also keep the cheaper Crayola sidewalk chalk for the little kids.). It doesn’t wash out as good as the regular sidewalk chalk, but it will come off with a good hosing and a scrub brush. We aren’t too precious about our driveway though and don’t mind at all our “circus show” showing neighbors the art fun we have together as a family. Another great tip with the pigmented art chalk is to use your finger to blend and shade. Not only does it make your colors look prettier and more uniform on sand paper-like cement surface, but it makes the chalk last longer.