It’s been a week since I’ve caught up here.  Starting this new year for me has been like starting a lawn mower that hasn’t been used in months.  Four false starts.  But that fifth pull, man.  Whew.  Celebration.  We’re running good now.

We enjoyed a short trip to St. Petersburg with friends and returned home to unleash the new year’s motivation on our home as we’ve slowly packed up Christmas decorations and rearranged a few things.  And with two little birthdays coming up and a lot of inspiration and enthusiasm about the new year swimming around, there’s more to come.   Meanwhile, we’re catching up, sorting some ideas out and realizing there’s a big chunk of the States right now expecting tundra temps.

So a little sunshine to warm things up.

We had one day of beautiful weather and three cold days on our trip, so our photos look like two different vacations.

Hats and cocoa.

Sand and swimsuits.

We stayed on Treasure Island which hosts a strip of cute boutique hotels (not to be confused with boutique strip hotels), most privately owned with a nice retro flare.  Treasure Island faves:  the massive width of the beach and the paved path that runs alongside it, perfect for scooters and bikes and strollers.

A few St. Pete faves if you’re headed there anytime soon: The Bilmar Beach Resort (clean, family-friendly, right on the beach), VIP Mexican restaurant right on Gulf Boulevard (wet burrito!) and Gigi’s Italian Restaurant

Favorite moments:

A quiet morning alone with this one on the beach.  The best part about early rising babies is the one-on-one time, made more magical by the first bits of sunlight and the promise of what the day holds.  And coffee.

Sand sculpture gallery. Apparently, there was a big sand sculpture competition held right out front of our hotel earlier this month. And as tempting as it was to crawl under those ropes and further investigate, my kids thankfully held their distance.

Yoga shadows.

Ringing in the New Year with beloved friends.

Hotel shenanigans. Like Beanie Boo baseball.

Beach cheer routines.  Lainey taught Nella the moves to some of her cheer camp cheers.  This one slays me.

And spending the first days of 2014 amid the wide open spaces of beach and ocean.  So much possibility, so many different ways to explore–all leading to different, good things. 

I thumbed through She Walks in Beauty in the car while we were traveling and found a little gem by St. Teresa of Avila–just what I needed to read at the beginning of a new year. 

A few excerpts:
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith…
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given you…
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love…

With a world of infinite possibilities and so many different areas of interest and passion for me, sometimes I can feel overwhelmed, especially at definitive “Start Here” marks such as the beginning of a new year:  Am I doing what I’m supposed to be doing?  There’s so much of the world that I want to explore and not enough time.  There’s two hundred billion ways to do this parenting/marriage/friendship/talents/sharing/planning/getting older thing–how do I know which one is the best?  But those words up there are true.  Use your gifts, pass on your love, settle into the confidence that we are exactly where we were meant to be.  And most important: sing, dance, praise and love.  I do well with focused lists, and “sing, dance, praise love” happen to be my specialties. 

So this year, I will explore the beach and the wide open spaces and not worry that by exploring the east, I’m neglecting the west. 

I will bring my little explorers with me.

I will balance the comfort of “you are exactly where you are meant to be” with the excitement and incentive of “the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.” 

I love the idea of both.  We can be content and restful and yet still be trailblazers, launching ideas and change and growth.  We can be good moms, attentive to our children and families and still nurture our own needs and desires.  We can enjoy quiet yet have voices that echo loudly.  Be confident yet vulnerable and at times unsure.  And occasionally teetering back and forth with balance in these areas is okay, normal, expected.

There’s a giant beach out there with so many opportunities to explore.  We are choosing our own pace for this year–singing, dancing, praising, loving as we go.

And some beginning of the year catching up with off-site contributions if you’re interested in checking in:

Last week on BabyZone, I talked about teaching my kids the limitless power of love and how we’re explaining family and gay relationships to them with Our Five Grandpas.

And at All Parenting:
* Narrowing down overwhelming choices with kids: “This one or this one?”
* For some kids, big screen movies are just too big: “Reel Life Lessons”
* And some child entertainment ideas for snowed-in days: “Mom, I’m bored”

This one’s having a birthday soon.  Stay tuned for another year of giving back later this week.

Yesterday, I turned 35.

I didn’t even realize until reading last year’s birthday post earlier this morning that I spent the day exactly the same as last year–on a windy beach where seagulls outnumbered people by 100:1.

Ignoring my mother’s voice in my head (“Kelle!  Don’t bother him, let him sleep!”) I pulled Dash from his bed last night and brought him into bed with me.  He stayed asleep while I positioned him about where he was last year, curled across my stomach, and I closed my eyes and smiled.  I love that look-where-we-are-now feeling that floods in at the end of the year.

I used to do a list on my birthday of what I learned that year, but every time I make some definitive check mark as to what I learned, I realize later, “Oh honey, you’re still learning.  Don’t check it off yet.”

I will say that 2013 was a great year for recognizing more that weaknesses are really secret strengths. When I am aware of my weaknesses–the things I’ve spent years wishing I could change about myself–and embrace them without being defensive, I can find ways to use them for good.

Growing older is always a journey of becoming a better version of yourself–a journey that will and must include both happy moments and hard moments.  It’s how you weave them together, drawing lessons from both, that gives you the power of creating a beautiful life.  

My favorite photos and moments from my thirty-fifth year:

Exactly one year ago

An orange grove in Fort Myers, FL

Valentines’ Day, 2013.  We met our boy.

This might be my favorite picture from 2013.  

New York City, March 2013.

May, 2013.  Brett returned home from a 2-week hospital stay, minus one appendix.

Isles of Capri sunset

Mackinac Island, June 2013

Poppa’s cottage. Lewiston, Michigan

Strawberry picking. Armada, Michigan

Captiva Island

First day of first grade

I’m grateful and hopeful today as we turn the page to all the experiences 2014 holds for our family.  With some crazy travel planned for next year, I know there will at least be adventure and the lessons that come with widening our perspective beyond our own small space.

So I tell myself, I’ll tell my kids…

Be grateful for where you are.  Always.  But look beyond.  Learn from those around you.  And when you think that you have, don’t check it off as a lesson learned.  You’re still learning.  You’re always still learning.

Happy New Year, Friends.  Thank you for sharing this space with us.

Well, here we are, the eve of the Eve. The babies–if we can still call them all that–are tucked in bed and there are a handful of chores that still need to be done, but I’m accepting that it’s okay if none of them get finished.  What’s done is done, and what’s not done is such a tiny speck compared to what really matters.

Heidi called me today with some new-found historic holiday knowledge.  Don’t ask me how she knows this, but she just knows things.

“Do you know what the #1 thing kids wanted for Christmas in 1913 was?” she quizzed me. 

“Probably nothing compared to the crap kids ask for today,” I predicted.

“They wanted candy,” she answered, “Candy!  And you know what the #2 thing they wanted was?  NUTS, Kelle.  All they asked for was candy and nuts, and they jumped up and down if they got them.”

“Whoa.”

“Do you remember that Little House on the Prairie episode when they crawled down from their bunks in their nightgowns on Christmas morning and got all excited when they found out their present was peppermint sticks?”  she continued.  “If only it only took a peppermint stick to make us happy.”

Word. 

I hope I’m always overjoyed with peppermint sticks.  Such an overlooked pleasure.  I mean, they have stripes!

******

Tonight, while missing my bigger family and dreaming of a snowy Christmas, I’m focusing on what we have and feeling entirely grateful for our little family.

How many times this week we’ve commented that last year, this boy was just a dream.  “It doesn’t even feel like Dash’s first Christmas!” Lainey said today.  “Because it feels like he’s been here for a long time.”  Indeed.

*****

Christmas break calls for lots of beach.

We have a little beach getaway planned for next week, and we’re very excited.

*****

In preparation for Santa, we baked one last round of Christmas cookies today.

Nella ate frosting.

And Dash got a preview of what his birthday sugar will taste like.

I know I joke about the level of my Christmas Spirit-ometer and wanting to swing from the chandelier from a string of twinkle lights this time of year, but I also understand that the holidays can be such an emotionally vulnerable time for so many.  If you’ve lost someone this year, if you’re alone, if you’re worried, hurting, struggling or sad…somehow in this virtual space, I hope you feel happiness.

My Christmas card jpegs are shackled within a hard drive on its way to a recovery service, but I did manage to dig up one of the photos.

 Merry Christmas, friends.    May we all find joy in peppermint sticks this holiday.

*****

Forgot to share earlier this week–I wrote about how the special needs milestone gap changes as Nella gets older with Minding the Gap over on BabyZone