I’ve been talking a lot lately about my love affair with summertime, and I’ve received a flood questions through Instagram direct messages and emails. I pulled out some of my favorite questions to answer here for a summer q & a love round-up. 

Q: Packing for myself and the kids is overwhelming and I always feel like I pack too much stuff! How do you approach packing? Is it different for weekends vs. longer trips?

Girl, this is a hard one. I’ve been an O.P. (over packer) my entire life because I always have grand visions for trips. I not only want to bring all the fun choices for clothes (I mean, it’s vacation!) and 900 pairs of shoes to choose from; but also twinkle lights to hang on hotel beds, art supplies, travel journals, six different books to read–not to mention special little treats for the kids to make trips special. I get better the older I get though because I have so much more experience coming home with giant suitcases full of things we never used and clothes I never wore. I’ve actually gone on several trips this past year where I never even checked a bag (huge for me!). When packing clothes, I try to bring our very favorite things that mix and match well rather than lots of “kind of like it” choices because we are happy repeating outfits if they’re our favorites. Writing down a “what to pack” list before I pull out a suitcase also helps me stick to the list rather than throwing in a bunch of things willy nilly that always leads to over packing. I try to stick to a carry-on bag or duffel for a weekend trip and allow myself a full suitcase for a longer trip. But I do know one thing for sure–when I pack all the shoes I want for a trip, I can easily take out half of them and still be fine.

Q: I want to love my look during the summer, but I feel like my approach to style isn’t much different than when I was a teenager. Are there some key pieces that are your go-to picks for summer style?

Summer really captures the spirit of freedom and fun! I feel like if there’s one season to try something new or out of your comfort zone, it’s summer. I love bright pops of color for this season–yellow (cannot get enough of it this summer!), hot pink, bright green–and mixing unexpected colors (currently loving royal blue paired with pink). I wear classic Birkenstocks for a lot of the summer (even though Brett isn’t a fan) and love pairing them with dresses and long skirts as well as the usual jeans and shorts. If I had to pack one bag for the entire summer, it would definitely include at least one sundress (especially if it’s white), a good Panama hat, some Parent Trap retro camp style (ringer tees!), a short-sleeve white button-up shirt (goes with everything!) and some fun colorful tennis shoes.

Q: How do you and the kids stay sane in the car during long road trips?!

We each get three “Permission to Lose it” cards a day. Seriously. We have been taking long road trips in the summer for so many years now, we’re all used to it (and look forward to it!). We’ve discovered many tricks along the way (give in to technology) and have learned what to pack to make trips easier (pillows! Everyone wants a pillow.). My number one advice: Take your time! We break up our long trips with lots of stops, and we welcome impromptu adventures (might I remind you of the billboard advertisement that led to our famous Babyland General Hospital detour and one of the greatest road trip adventures ever). Enjoy the ride, and keep expectations reasonable. Losing it on a road trip is often due more to a dreamy expectation not being fulfilled than the actual status of the trip. Guaranteed: Kids will ask to go to the bathroom three minutes after you pull away from the rest stop. Garbage will end up everywhere except for the cute little designated trash bag you arranged. And kids are most definitely going to argue over who gets to sit in the “good seat.” You’ll handle all of it so much better if you don’t go into the trip imagining your family singing four part harmony to your vacation playlist and your kids turning down iPads for books and quiet crochet projects in the back seat.

Q: As the days get longer and hotter, I feel lousy about shedding my big sweaters and stretchy jeans. Not to mention wearing a bathing suit… I don’t want my poor body image to bring down my mood, keep me from participating in the fun, or rubbing off on my kids. Any advice?

This is foolproof. Ready? Imagine yourself at 88 years old–worn and weathered with a body that can’t do what it used to do and a grown family scattered across the country–looking back at yourself right now. “If only I knew how beautiful I was!” she’d think. “If only she realized how powerful and capable her body was! If only she took advantage of this incredible time in her life and fully lived and enjoyed it. She’s so lucky!” Don’t make your 88 year-old self get mad at your current self. Love this phase of your life. Love this body you have right now. If you need to start in the shallow end, put your bathing suit on when you’re all by yourself at home. Turn up your favorite song and dance like no one’s watching (because clearly, no one is)…in your bathing suit. Shake what your mama gave ya. That feeling you get? That freedom? Hang on to it. Take it out—to the beach, to the pool, to the lake. Love the version of you that is this unique sliver of time.

Q: I’m always excited to take photos in the beginning of summer, but towards the end of summer it feels more like a chore. How can I document the whole summer and enjoy it without letting my camera take over my life?

First, space it out. Don’t stress yourself out by thinking you have to capture all the summer things the first day school gets out. Give yourself photo challenges to keep summer documentation fun. Maybe it’s a photo a day. Maybe it’s a themed summer photography project. Think about five details of summer that make you happy and challenge yourself to photograph them one week (clothes drying on the line, fresh berries in a bowl on the kitchen counter, watching your baby niece attempt to eat corn off the cob, etc.). When you’re at an event or enjoying an experience, give yourself ten minutes to go around photographing and then put your camera away and let yourself enjoy the experience without it.

We dig into more of this in my 10-day Framed! Summer Edition Photography course that starts Monday, June 3rd! This live online experience will jumpstart your creative spark, connect you with an amazing group of women, and give you guidance on composition, techniques, and planning that’ll transform your photos and your perspective on this summer and beyond. The course includes three live video calls with me and fellow participants, a photography how-to video library (15 videos!), three assignments that I’ll walk you through step-by-step, and more! Register by June 3rd.

Q: Any tips for being a good house guest when you visit friends and family during the summer?

(Pssst. If hostess has babies, love on them! Instant good house guest!)

Oh Lordy, yes. I mean, there’s the obvious–clean up after yourself, offer to pay for a meal, if you have kids with you, make sure they aren’t running around tearing the place up. But also–don’t hover. No matter how much you love the hostess and she loves you, neither one of you wants to spend every waking second together. Even when you really love being with someone, entertaining requires a hostess to be emotionally “on.” That can be so exhausting! Make sure as a guest you purposely make room for your hostess to decompress and have a breather. She likely won’t ask for it, so you’ll have to take initiative. Maybe that’s offering to go grocery shopping alone for her. Maybe it’s taking an afternoon to explore on your own. Maybe it’s as simple as letting your hostess know you’re going to read alone in the guest room for a little while. Just because you’re on vacation doesn’t mean your host is. Make sure you make room for your hosts to continue their normal routine which might include work or private family time. And make yourself at home! When people stay with us, I love when I see them making themselves comfortable enough to grab a blanket if they’re cold, open a cabinet to find a water glass, etc.—so much pressure off of me to stay attentive to their needs. It makes me nervous when I sense a guest is waiting for me to offer everything. Let your hostess know you’re comfortable and feel right at home (that’s the goal of every hostess anyway!). 

Q: How can I give small and big celebrations in my home a magical summery feel without spending my paycheck at Target?

Campfires = FREE summer magic feels.

Here’s the secret for that magical summery feel. Ready? It’s YOU. Your enthusiasm, your peace, your gratitude, your sense of wonder, your invitation for fun and play, your willingness to act like a kid again. There’s not a Target summer product, no matter how colorful it is, that comes close to your power. You set the tone. There are two other little secrets that help create atmospheric magic though that also don’t rely on spending lots of money: music and lights. Play music. In the kitchen in the morning, in the back yard in the afternoon, on the front porch at night while you’re watching the fireflies. Set the mood you’re envisioning with the perfect summer playlist. Add twinkle lights or candle light (drop tea lights in Mason jars) or even flashlights at night. Use what you have. Blankets in the linen closet transform into couch forts for summer movie night. A garden hose, a tarp and some bubble bath become a Saturday afternoon slip-n-slide. You are the magic maker. My Once Upon A Summer guide (PDF) is packed with ideas, tips, resources, printables, my Ultimate Summer Bucket List and more! Grab it here.

And nobody asked this, but let’s pretend they did. My favorite Otter Pop flavor? Why, I thought you’d never ask. It’s Alexander the Grape.

Happy Monday! In keeping with spring cleaning trends, I did a little cleanup on my phone this weekend, deleting and organizing photos and apps, and let me tell you–it was a job. I had gone way too long since the last cleanup which I won’t let happen again. Besides the thousands of photos and screenshots I had never transferred to my computer, I had pages of random apps scattered everywhere. I did a little Kon Mari on my app clutter and let most of them go (“No, weird car wash game I do not remember downloading, you do not bring me joy.”) and then structured my home screen into organized folders. There are several different ways to organize apps (I found this and this helpful), but I ended up arranging them into the following folders: Photography (anything photo and video related), Social Media, Shopping (Amazon, Target, Etsy, Shipt, etc.), Entertainment (Audible, Pandora, Netflix, fave podcasts, etc.), Wellness (running app, gym classes, meditation, etc.), Navigation (Waze, Uber, maps, my car app), Business (Dropbox, Google docs, my bank, etc.), Kids (anything kid related including games), and Food (Bite Squad, Uber Eats, etc.), and then I left mail, calendar and several other apps I haven’t quite figured out what to do with dangling. A little more work to do, but it’s so much better! I thought I’d use the opportunity to share some of my favorite apps though. Most of these are photo related, but I included a few kids ones we love as well.

A Color Story
I do most of my photo editing (when I’m not using Lightroom on my desktop) in Color Story and absolutely love the way it’s organized and what it has to offer. There are numerous filler packs (and frequently added new ones) you can buy which are really great, but the regular adjustment tools are just as good. You can also add fun effects like sun flares, bokeh, texture (to give photos a vintage look with grain) and twinkle lights.

Word Swag
Word Swag is a fun way to create photos for Instagram stories with text options beyond the few that Instagram offers. You can capture more editorial looking frames with magazine-like captions and titles.

8mm
Every time I share an 8mm video, I get asked what app I used. It’s a retro film camera that captures old-timey video footage with that grainy, flickery look that conjures all the nostalgic feels. It’s great if you’re adding music to create vacation video montages that you want to sob watching someday.

Kira Kira
I don’t use this one a lot, but it’s really fun for certain occasions. Kira Kira records both regular photos or video with a twinkle effect around anything that would naturally sparkle–glass, metal, diamonds, etc. Posting a photo of jewelry, Christmas lights, champagne glasses lined up at your brunch? You definitely want to use Kira Kira.

Insight Timer
The best meditation app! There are literally thousands of insights and mediations to choose from from guided meditations to help you fall asleep to short morning affirmations to get your day started. And it’s free! There’s also chants, music and lectures from renowned spiritual leaders all over the world.

Nike Run Club
I used Nike Run Club for all my runs. It tracks miles and courses, times and saves your runs, syncs your funs to Spotify or whatever playlist you choose and also offers guided runs, coaches, support and connection with other runners. I love the celebrity voices that pipe in to cheer you on as you run.

Kids

Our Pact and Zift
We have loved the OurPact parental control app, but last year Apple changed some policy that made geofencing, location tracking and time allowances only available on Android devices for this app, so we are switching to Zift for managing Lainey’s phone (super bummed because I LOVE the setup of OurPact. However, OurPact can still manage or block any iOS app. These apps are NECESSARY for responsible phone use for kids. You can set up screen usage times and even usage for particular apps so that they shut down when time is reached (you don’t have to be the bad guy!). They also link your phone to your kid’s phone so you can manage apps, usage and see where they are.

Endless Reader
We’ve been using Endless Alphabet and Endless Reader since Nella was a toddler, and they are still so great for word recognition and learning to read. I swear Nella learned all her letters early from this app as well as what sounds they make.

Toca Boca
It works for all three of my kids and great for those in-a-pinch times when we’re stuck waiting for something in some boring place or the kids are losing it. All the Toca Boca apps are open-ended play games, and I find myself even being delightfully entertained by them.

Did I miss a life-changing app? Do share!

We’re passing out awards here today for the deserving cars from our youth. If you managed to go through your teens unscathed by the character-building experience of watching your friend climb in her shiny barely used Bonneville while you repositioned the duct tape on your Ford Escort station wagon fender so it wouldn’t fall off when you slammed the door, good for you. I, on the other hand, took a class from The School of Humility, and you know what? I’m glad. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t drive my car and feel like the coolest person on the planet when I push the window button…and the windows go down–what?!

There’s a few rules I gathered from years of driving character-building cars to make those years easier, and I’d like to share them with you today.

Name Your Car 
Clunkers are automatically cool when you name them. Personify them with characteristics and talk about them like they are human. Inherited your grandpa’s boat a.k.a. Crown Victoria? She’s Big Marge, and she never starts the first time you try because she’s lazy and likes to make decisions on her terms. Also, she’s done with men. I often chose names that started with “The” for my cars because it worked for The Terminator and The Godfather.

Master the “That’s funny, I can’t find my car” Confused Shuffle
Leaving Happy Hour with a crowd of work friends and feeling a little embarrassed about the piece of junk you’re headed to in the parking lot? Pretend you can’t remember where you parked it, and shuffle around the parking lot “searching” until everyone has driven away. Look confused. If someone offers to drive you around until you find it, smile and shoo them away: “This happens all the time. You know me. Head in the clouds, ha ha ha. I’m good, you go on–I’ll find it.” This happened to me on many occasions.

Take It To the Moon. 
At some point, the whole “I’m embarrassed of my car” thing is going to get old, and you’ll eventually stumble into some real confidence, finally able to proudly own the uniqueness of a busted up box-on-wheels that smells like cheese. At this point, pretend your car is a rare gem and accessorize it Vegas style. Hang dice on the rear view mirror. Buy the gold chain license plate holder. Search the Internet for a hood ornament that sends a message of power and class, possibly this one. Purposely valet park everywhere you go and throw your keys to the attendant with a wink and say, “Take care of her, she’s special.” My dad does this with his 1994 LeBaron convertible which we all call The LeBenz because he thinks it’s a Mercedes. He cranks dance music up really high when he drives it–with the top down, of course–and waves at all who pass as if they wish they were him.

Now with no further ado, I’d like to pass out the awards to the three cars of my youth that helped shape who I am today. I dug through some old photo bins in search of pictures to illustrate these cars but found nothing. Brett, on the other hand, leaped at the chance to offer his old photos because he basically has a small suitcase packed with nothing but faded photos of all the cars he owned in his youth–and he owned a lot. Cars were important to him. He posed like Knight Rider next to his cars for photos.

I was beginning to wonder why I didn’t have any pictures of me standing next to my old cars until I realized maybe it’s because when you’re driving a teal Ford Escort wagon with two missing hubcaps and the fender strapped on with duct tape, you’re not like, “Hey Dad, will you take a picture of me in my bathing suit next to my car?’

Sweet Pea – After my parents divorced, my mom and siblings and I moved in with a pastor’s family. Eventually we all moved together to a big home out in the country where several families from our church lived together. It was as weird as it sounds, but I also have many vibrant memories from those years. We all fit and traveled together in Sweet Pea, our huge passenger Scooby Doo van. She was white with a big fat sky blue stripe painted across her middle. I’ve never seen another van like her. She once took us on a 3-week trip out west where her horn broke and wouldn’t turn off. It was just a constant honk as Sweet Pea glided across mountain highway. When the give-or-take 500 people inside got tired, we’d curl up in whatever empty square inch we could find to try and sleep. I once woke up in the middle of the night on a road trip and realized I was crouched completely under the back bench seat. Thank God I was homeschooled because Sweet Pea wasn’t a van you’d want to be caught dead climbing out of at middle school drop off. Years later, after we’d grown up and moved on, my brother and sister-and-law would swear they’d catch sightings of her in the town where we grew up. Sweet Pea was a legend and sometimes I wonder if it was all just a dream.

The Celebrity (not my car picture, but similar)

Okay, The Celebrity wasn’t a very original name because it was, in fact, a Chevy Celebrity, but the name also conjures images of red carpets and paparazzi, and let’s just The Celebrity needed that because she was anything but noteworthy–so bland that even her paint job had lost its shine, worn down to a sort of odd matte navy blue. She looked like someone buffed her with a Brillo pad. But she was my first car, her keys given to me in a wrapped box at my homeschool high school open house by my dad who I was just getting to know after having been separated from him for years. I think she was a Celebrity Eurosport–Eurosport being a fancy name they used to attach to shitty cars to make you think you’re getting something really special. Yes, I’d like to upgrade to the Geo Prism Eurosport, please. The Celebrity was a faithful servant up until a 16-year-old ran a stop sign out in the country on her way to school and hit me. She wasn’t going that fast and no one was hurt, but when your car is worth about $600 and you have PLPD insurance, you just kiss it goodbye and call it a loss. Which led me on the hunt for a new car. My dad and Gary scanned the papers until they found a winner. On the way to go see it, I remember telling them, “I really don’t care what it is unless it’s a station wagon. I’m not driving a station wagon.”

The Staysh  (picture not my car but so close!)

I winced when I saw her, but my dad convinced me that it would be the greatest car for driving my nieces around. So we bought the teal Ford Escort station wagon which quickly became The Staysh, the car joked about more than any other car in our family. First of all, she was trashed 99% of the time. Like the kind of trashed that would allow me to comfortably live in it for 6-8 weeks if I ever found myself stranded. Piles of clothes. Books. Food. Paperwork. Old purses. Kids’ clothes. Toys. 18 Pairs of Shoes. Numerous make-up cases. I once drove around with a vacuum in the backseat because I was helping my sister clean offices. There was no place for anyone to sit. When things broke, I just reattached them with duct tape. The starter broke so many times that a mechanic told me he could fix the problem by installing a push-button starter, except he had to install it near the floor. So every time I started her, I’d have to hold the brake and then bend over, disappearing from sight for a minute while I pushed the button on the floor. I got in a fender bender and reattached the fender with–yep, duct tape. One early evening I was driving home on the last stretch of dirt road that led to my dad’s driveway. The setting sun straight ahead blinded my vision, but I was sure I could have driven it with my eyes closed, so I just kept driving. Into a tree. That was the last day the passenger door opened. But I kept driving her, my loyal Staysh. Until I took a job in Florida and closed the chapter on humbling cars with character.

How fun is it reminiscing our old cars? There isn’t a family get together where one of these blasts from our past doesn’t get brought up, and we end up in tears, laughing about the memories. Do you have a memorable car from your youth? Did you name your cars? I want to hear all the car stories, I must know all the names!