it rained today.

the good kind where the afternoon sky dims gray and the steady pour of serenading torrents transform our house into a very peaceful state. the power even flickered twice…a tease, of course, because there is nothing better than good afternoon darkness and being forced to stop everything and just be.

just be is where we are this week.
taking some time off to catch up, prepare for my girl’s two-year bash this weekend, clean, rediscover some lost passions, dig up some creative inspiration…because i’ve been so busy.

and while all that busy has been so fulfilling and satisfying–expanding opportunities & experiences to add beautiful notches on the what-i’ve-done-in-life belt–i still need my cozy days to balance it out.

a cozy day it was.
cozy and productive.
the house smells good & clean, its carpets smiling with perfect vacuum lines and all its candle cups replinished with new wax. new wax that flickers as i type. because everything seems better with candles.

and, this is random and totally stream-of-consciousness, but in these past few days of slowing down and reorganizing priorities, i’ve thought a lot about what i want to do this summer. because making lists of what i plan to do completely inspires me.
and, well…what i really want to say is…

i want to paint my bedroom a crazy new color and find new projects in our home.
i want to learn to love a good mint julep because it sounds cool to order a mint julep.
i want to go fishing with brett and impress him with how i can bait a hook like a man.
i want to be one of those people who do laundry on the same days every week and actually follow a load through to putting it away in appropriate spots that don’t include the top of the dryer or a pile on the side of the bed.
i want to go to michigan for a cousin reunion and stay up all night crying and laughing with my soul equivalents.
i want to draw again.
i want to bake. like really bake.
i want to sleep under the stars.
i want to have neighborhood barbeques and block parties.
i want to see a symphony at the philharmonic. and i want my mom to be there with me.
i want to wake up early on a sunday morning and go to the downtown farmer’s market…and bring home good corn and green peppers and ripe tomatoes.
i want to go to a cubs game with my in-laws. oh wait…we are. in july…and i cannot wait to be with them in my favorite city in the world.
i want to make a fresh flower wreath for lainey’s hair.
i want to wear french braids more. and straw hats. and dresses.
i want to get all my friends together, have a huge dress-up beautiful getting-fabulous party and then take them all out to photograph.
i want to host the best lemonade stand this side of the mason dixon line. with fresh-squeezed lemonade. and baked goods. and hand-painted signs.
i want to do karaoke.
i want to repeat our first date…down to every last detail.

see, now i’m inspired already.
i shall save this list, add to it and cross it off one by one.

and i’ll leave it at that, except to say…

two is almost here. and, while i have much on my heart to write about this love a little later…i shall say she is just evolving so beautifully lately into crazy little layers…to the point where i am numbed with adoration and love for this little life i call mine.

(oh adding to the list: i want to stop leaving my lipstick out.)

and i’m so excited to see her and her littles interact this weekend. 1500 ladybugs arrived today…they are sleeping in our refrigerator until saturday when they will awake to join the birthday fun.

our girl is almost two.

be still my ever-growing heart.

~k

what a pleasant little night.
i drove an hour to meet this sweet little family.
drove far past naples’ newly developed lands until all that stood were deserted forests and fields flecked with magical golden light.
down long dirt roads through vast winding stretches until there was no sign of life but for a few tomato farm signs and some wandering horses.
it was absolutely beautiful.

and so was this family and their home.

it was the epitome of a country home. tall red rocking chairs welcomingly lined up along the wrap-around front porch where a new kitten slept inside a john deer toy tractor, wandering horses, rustic picnic tables…and storybook clusters of trees that filtered the evening light just perfectly.

oh, and two blue-jeaned cuties that stole my heart.

i left right before the sun set and as i was driving past the tomato signs in my sweet state of solitude, i decided to pull over and stand and watch. reminded me of michigan and while i love our beaches and tourists, i do miss a taste of country fields and quiet sunsets from time to time…

so, here i was on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere watching the sun set. oh, it was magic.

…enjoying the country mouse/city mouse things…~k

the sky was vibrant today. so blue, God could roll it up, wrap a crayola paper on it and sell it in a crayon box for heavenly bodies to color with. that vibrant. and when the sky is vibrant, i want to do vibrant things. like plant a garden. paint the house. write a book. adopt a couple orphans. cure cancer. you know, normal things.

but being that i hate disheartenment from unachieved lofty goals, i settled for alternate vibrancy. a bike ride.

a bike ride where i vibrantly cranked the pedals on my not-so-vibrant piece-of-crap bike. well, it’s not really mine. it’s brandyn’s old one, and it’s very small. and i know i look like this riding it, but it’s okay because i’m getting fantastic exercise. fantastic because the gears are kinda broken and it’s stuck on the one that feels like the chains are attached to two lead bricks.

so i pedaled, exhaustively cycling through the lead brick rotations until my thighs twitched and stung and sweat soaked my dyed hair past its already cleopatran blackness. it was a mess. but lainey was content, pulled behind the rickety clown bike in her new little cart my dad found on craigslist. in fact, now that i think of it, the cart i’m sure only added to the clownishness of it all, and when i had to stop in the back of the neighborhood to take a rest and lay the bike down in the middle of the street (broken kickstand, you know) with the cart all cock-eyed and lainey crying…well, now i’m just laughing hard.

if our life was the cover of a book, it would so not be glossy. it would be torn and pasted with old food and lost somewhere in the back of the library.

but it would be funny. and real. and ours. oh, and vibrant.

on my tombstone someday, please let it just say…

she was vibrant.
…and she loved.

~k

car…i’m dancin’ to this song for you tonight.