For the first time in–well, ever–the end of Christmas hasn’t put me in a sentimental all-the-fun-is-over funk.
Last year, somewhere between the last present opened and the first piece of pie cut for Christmas dinner, Brett found me in the bathroom, curled over the tub while I washed Dash’s hair, a tearful mess. It was like all those childhood Christmases where I cried when it was over and all the magic years of raising babies and all my love for the holidays had crescendoed to that very moment in the bathroom–a recognition of how much I have loved it all and how much it is changing, sweet and painful at the same time.
“It’s all changing, they’re getting older, these Christmases…I love them so much.” Sob, sob, blah, blah, blah. If I recall, I pulled it together for pie.
This year, I didn’t cry or mourn the end or say one word about how next year would look different. I sat back and enjoyed our little Christmas–just as it is–a maturity graduation I attribute, of course, to turning 40 tomorrow because I’m attributing every meaningless thing to turning 40. Drop a spoon in the kitchen: “Ha ha, look. I’m dropping things. Must be turning 40, eh?” Try a new lipstick color: “Gotta change things up, you know. Turning 40.” Puts clothes away instead of leaving them on the floor: “I’m a new woman! I pick things up! Yay, 40!” I realize this is annoying, but I can’t stop.
That said, yes, I do love so much about Christmas and I’m grateful for the memories we’ve made this month and the festive celebrations and all the pretty things that have added wonder to the past few weeks. But I can tuck them away without feelings of scarcity or sadness. Because 40, of course.
Some favorite moments from the past week…
Baking Santa’s cookies.
A hug he grabbed because he loved the little buns she put in her hair so much, he couldn’t help himself.
A check off our holiday bucket list with a trip to a nearby neighborhood that puts on the best light show.
Every weekend in December, it’s bumper-to-bumper slow traffic in this neighborhood–trolleys and buses come to tour it, residents host parties in their driveways, bands play Christmas carols and just about every family in Naples spends an evening touring the streets.
Another holiday bucket list finished (I think we had two unchecked items at the end), rolled up and tucked in the keepsake bin…with no feelings of scarcity or sadness BECAUSE 40. We’re doing this, folks. We’re doing this.
I was so proud to announce that I had all my wrapping done early this year and would not be staying up until 1:30 a.m. Christmas Eve to prepare.
But we all know how that ends. I stayed up until 1:30 a.m. Christmas Eve to prepare.
The Eve is my favorite. Christmas movies by the fire…
Writing our final words to Santa.
(Dash: “I’m not going to tell Santa I love him because he’s not in my family, and I don’t love him.” Touche, Dash.)
Annual tradition: setting up the reindeer runway in our driveway.
Cookies for Santa.
And putting all three kids to sleep in the same bed. It takes forever for them to settle down, but when they do, I take this photo every year.
And yes, I fully expect them to keep doing this in their 40’s (Because 40). I know this can happen because the mother in the book I Love You, Forever crept into her son’s room to cradle him grown man style, and if she can do that, then my grown kids can surely leave their spouses and children at home to come curl up in bed at my house to fall asleep and get their photo taken, not creepy at all. (We will absolutely reenact this scene to recreate a photo in 20 years, and it will hang in my old lady office someday.)
The final scene, 1:30 a.m. before I crashed, excited and happy.
And all the Christmas morning joy. Running to find evidence of Santa, Blitzen’s spit-out carrots (he doesn’t like them), snowy reindeer tracks (it’s magic North Pole snow that never melts), stockings and presents and Christmas breakfast, pajamas that don’t get changed until the afternoon, endless coffee and movies and family piled up on the couch. Grateful for these memories and the people in them.
And Nella’s little doll with Down syndrome. I’ll tell you more about it later this week. Let’s just say I changed my mind about dolls with Down syndrome because I used to feel very strongly against them, and this little baby has brought so much joy.
We’re still in cozy lazy day mode over here. Whatever you celebrate and wherever you are, I hope you all made some special memories this week and were surrounded by love.
Ronja says
You should buy your kids family PJs next year. Get the kids size for now and guess on their future adult sizes. Then you can REALLY recreate the photo when they are adults. 🙂
jules says
Kelle, thanks for making the world a more magical place!
Reenie says
Beautiful…. just beautiful.
Merry Christmas!!
Ann says
Love the idea of buying the adult size pajamas in advance. Only problem is then you would be 60 and wouldn’t know where you put them. ?
sANDY says
Blitzen’s spit out carrots because he doesn’t like them—PRICELESS!!
Katherine says
Where is the neighborhood in Naples, if you don’t mind my asking? I live in S Ft Myers and I’m always looking for pretty lights this time of year! It seems like so many people just aren’t decorating anymore.
Thanks!
Kelle says
Victoria Park
Kass says
Happy birthday! I’m 26 and single with no kids but still pretty sure our souls are friends 🙂 always love reading your words, thanks for sharing! xo
Margot says
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing some of your family magic!
Stephanie says
Love your photos, humor and honesty, reminding us how to enjoy the small things. As a fellow entrepreneur and DS mom, I say shamer internet trolls can suck it. Even your grace in responding to them is inspiring.
Mary Lou says
Kelle….
I spy with my own little eye an ‘Elf on the Shelf’!! Or…. Is it an Elf in a Christmas Tree? So cute!! Is your elf a boy or a girl? I caved, and I bought myself an Elf on the Shelf this year!! His name is Sweet Tooth!! 😉
I love, love, love Nella’s doll with Down syndrome!! I want one!! What did Nella name her? 🙂
Peace out, Mary Lou
Susi says
So lovely. I’ve felt much the same this year. We kept things small and cozy and I couldn’t have been happier.
You are just ahead of me with turning 40… and my firstborn is turning 18 tomorrow. You are Birthday twins. 🙂
Happy Birthday!!!
Barb Llewellin says
……Kelle, your wee Nest is “Christmas Love Personified”.~~ everything lovely!♥
Blessings,
Barb
Jennifer Reil says
What a lovely Christmas! And Happy Birthday to you! I can’t wait to read about Nella’s new doll. I have never seen dolls with Down syndrome before and of course, now I want one for my Macy :). Happy New Year to your inspiring family!
Jéssica Lorena says
I couldn’t love this blog more! Life is magical here, thank you for bringing love for this world
Shelley says
My seven year old daughter with Down syndrome got a doll with Down syndrome as well. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it but when she opened it she looked it over, then ran her fingers over the almond shaped eyes, and hugged it so tight!
Laura says
Love your posts, Kelle. Love that beautiful Nella… she gives me hope and inspiration for my Claire soon to be 5. Thank you❤️
Diana L. says
Merry Christmas to you! I love how you invest in your family memories! Such a joy to peek in n our celebrations.
Jo Diehl says
Eagerly awaiting info about Nella’s new doll! One of my granddaughters has Ds (born a couple wks before Nella!), & I’d love to buy her one!
Your family’s Christmas, as always, looks like it was magical! Thank you for sharing a few of the delightful moments!
Katie says
I LOVE the reindeer runway! So clever you are 🙂
Pam says
I always look forward to your posts, they warm my heart! I am 65 and still have the feeling of not wanting to let go of the Christmas season! My kids are grown and I have a one year old grandson. I treasure the twinkly lights and all the excitement, smells and sights of the season. My husband took down our Christmas village today and some of the outside lights and I was so disappointed. (I am waiting til Jan 6th to undo the rest- January in the midwest is too cold and dark!) Thank you for delighting me with your words and pictures!
Heather Bird says
I just love your posts. I cried for you… I mourn Christmas ending each year. But I’m so thrilled that while my big ones are on the brink of growing out of the Christmas morning magic, my little one with Ds hasn’t quite gotten it yet, so we’ve got many more years of Christmas morning magic to come.
Katie Dolan says
Looks magical! Any chance you can list what you included in your ultimate slime box? My daughter would go crazy for it!
Terri Holt says
WELL, you can now cross turning 40 off your bucket list too!
HAPPY,(late), BIRTHDAY! Hugs!
vitty says
Che splendida atmosfera natalizia!!!! Mi hai fatto sognare Kelle! Grazie per tutti i bei momenti che condividi con noi!!!! <3