Enjoying the Small Things

Enjoying the Small Things

7 Easy, Inexpensive Hostess Gifts

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On our sister/cousin/family text thread this week, we were discussing things that make us feel like we have our shit together–“feel like” being the operative phrase here because, admittedly, we’re daily falling apart. For my sister, it’s matching pajamas–J Crew’s classic button-up, to be exact. For my cousin, it’s prepping meals ahead of time. Other cousin–freshly painted nails. Mine? Among others, bringing a hostess gift to someone’s house makes me feel like I’m a poodle, not a wolf. People who bring nice hostess gifts certainly don’t have backseats covered in important school papers they never read, stale Cheetos from two weeks ago and a broken hanger from God knows where. I’m not saying I’m always good at remembering the hostess gifts, but when I do, it’s an invigorating Poodle moment. My friend Meredith is so good with hostess gifts–nothing over the top, but a quick handover of a simple gift when she drops her daughter off, before she turns to leave. The orchid she brought me a few months ago is still going strong on my windowsill. Last week’s hydrangeas held us through Easter. Another friend of mine is so good at hostess gifts, she has a cabinet dedicated to storing small gifts that can work for any hostess–candles, napkin rings, fancy wine bags, her favorite scone mix.

In my lifelong effort to bring more Poodle to my instinctive Wolf-ness,  I have gathered seven easy, thoughtful hostess gifts that don’t cost much and can work for anyone at any time.

1. Homesick Candle, Mini – A fun way to recognize your recipient if you know where they’re from. Or, you can gift your own state or “New Home” scent for a housewarming gift.

2. Tea towel and olive wood ladle  (Hearth & Hand has the loveliest 2-pack of flour sack towels)

3. A small house plant in an artsy planter (I love this one or this one or this beautiful tabletop terrarium)

4. A pretty mug with a pouch of your favorite coffee or tea inside

5. A homemade all purpose cleaner you made, in an amber bottle with a handwritten label

6. A pair of earrings packaged on a photo you took (the stud earrings here were only $4.99 each at World Market and photos are the small square prints from Social Print Studio). I love this one–so simple and inexpensive and yet personal and thoughtful.

7. The “Crappy Day” grab bag: a mini bottle of wine/champagne (World Market has so many good ones to choose from) with a good chocolate bar & a package of bath salts

 

Eggs and Baskets and Bunny Ears Forever: Easter 2019

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We leisured yesterday, like the Sundays of my childhood when we’d come home from church to roast in the crock pot and settle into quiet corners of the house after dinner while grown-ups napped. But before the leisure, there was the early rising (“We get to take naps later today, right?” Brett asked.) due to three kids who sensed the Easter Bunny’s presence, thus taking no heed to our “Please go back to sleep” requests. We corralled them into one bedroom to entertain each other until it was light enough for their squeals not to wake the neighbors.

Looking for signs of the bunny…

For the record, I’m doing this forever–the eggs, the baskets, the bunny ears. When they’re in their twenties–yes, then too. I put a can of fancy millennial beer in Austyn’s basket this year–I’m not above that. If my own kids are busy someday with their own wild and precious lives, I’ll do it for the neighbor kids, Mrs. Muddle style. But let there always be eggs and baskets and bunny ears.

Big hits this year–the golden egg…

(Nella found it with Brett’s help)

…the color pink.

…putting a puzzle together with clues to find their baskets.

And kawaii gifts. Lainey’s way into kawaii and artsy stuff, so it was so much fun filling her basket knowing how happy she’d be.  Oh to have kids who love tiny shit as much as I do! Stockings and Easter baskets are so easy!

File under Things That Make Me Happy: This picture and these two together.

We’ve taken this same photo in this same spot for several years now–I love seeing them grow. I hope Grandma Dog is in next year’s photo too.

The big boys were home which makes everyone happy.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it–so we ate the same things we always eat on Easter morning. Egg casserole, sticky buns and stiff crispy bacon, nearly burnt.

Lainey named all the placeholder ducks.

And after recovery naps and lots of couch & movie lounging, we gathered again for dinner, this time in our church clothes that never make it to church.

Ending our holiday with “the good shot” after 24 takes where none of the kids are looking or two are exchanging potty jokes.  But this one…two out of three looking, we’ll take it!

Hope you all had a wonderful Easter. The countdown to summer is official.

4 Things I’m Working on in Parenting

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As my kids grow and change and our family learns more about ourselves and each other, I find the focus of my parenting goals changes as well. Sometimes, important parenting themes last for a season and with more experience and knowledge of who our kids are, the things that are important to us shift. A few things I’m working on right now…

Less Labeling
Oh how we all love a good label, a way both to define ourselves and save us the effort of figuring someone else out. “Save me the trouble, just tell me your Enneagram number.”  Vegan. Paleo. Extrovert. Introvert. Suffers from anxiety. The Funny One. The Athletic One. The Artsy One. Enneagram 7. I love a good personality label as much as anyone else, but the challenging thing about labels is that we are ever changing (especially kids!), and when we label ourselves and everyone else knows that label, it can be difficult to break free from that generalization or evolve into something new. Yes, Lainey will probably always be more shy than my other two, and Dash stands out as our spirited family entertainer. I will reference those labels from time to time, but I never want to lock my kids into personality traits because I need a way to define them. I don’t want to be so loud with my “She’s shy! She’s shy!” proclamation that it drowns out the many times Lainey’s lively and extroverted with friends. It’s very freeing and enlightening to pull back a bit on the labels for my kids and delight in all the ways they surprise me–they’re constantly evolving, and I want them feel permission (and an invitation!) to do so. I loved one of the stories Kelly Corrigan shared in Tell Me More about her friend who adopted a baby, consequently having no immediate inherited labels to attach the baby’s personality to like we often try to do.

“MH and Leon had accepted the call to raise a child, not by railroading her into becoming a gratifying mashup of biology and dreams, but by allowing her to reveal her nature over time, in no particular order, with switchbacks and reversals along the way.” Twelve years later, MH still says, “I don’t know who this kid is.” Now she adds, “But she does. She knows exactly who she is. I’m just along for the ride.” 
– From Tell Me More, Kelly Corrigan

Less Telling Them to “Be Kind,” More Complimenting “I Love How Kind You Are”
“Be kind!” “Look out for the kid who needs a friend!” “Make sure you include!” “I hope you were nice to her!” I’ve been hammering my kids with these messages since the day they were born, but at some point, constantly instructing “Be kind” suggests that I think my kids wouldn’t be kind on their own without my reminders. Lainey and I were recently talking about a situation at school with some girls, and I immediately jumped in with my obligatory, “Well I hope you were kind. You didn’t add to the drama, did you?” From her reaction, I realized my tone and questioning suggested that I didn’t trust her to do the right thing on her own. Of course she was kind! She’s proved so many times that she is kind and has been complimented many times by others for being a good friend to all. I want to do less nagging and more recognizing her natural inclination to be compassionate. I’m trying to switch those “I hope you were kind” responses to compliments that show I trust her and am proud of her: “I’m so glad she has you because that’s one thing you are so good at–being kind to everyone.”

More Night Time Reading
We’ve been a reading family since my kids were born and have children’s books galore in our home, but I’ll admit we used to do better with the consistent bedtime reading together ritual when they were all really little. However, I’ve been reading The Enchanted Hour, and the data regarding the benefits of reading aloud to your kids is stunning and enough to challenge me to recommit. The kids are loving it so much and holding me accountable. There’s no way I can get away with putting them to bed without reading aloud now–Dash won’t have it. Now if I can just convince him that we don’t need to read 7 books every night.

Less Bemoaning Falling Off the Horse, More Shutting Up and Getting Back on the Horse
The lapsed read aloud before bed tradition is a perfect example of how you can easily pick something back up in parenting without loads of guilt. As in other areas of life where we fizzle out on commitments–eating healthy, working out, waking up early–parenting offers a smorgasbord of opportunities to fizzle and fail. I want to spend less time bemoaning the fact that I fell out of a good habit and focus more on simply getting back to business. We are human. We’re going to fall off the horse many times. What sets a successful person apart from others is one’s ability to get back on the horse and keep riding without all the drama of beating yourself up for falling off. Better eating, healthier screen time rules, more reading, more snuggling, more play time together, better listening–it’s never too late to try again.