I practically waited by the door the other night for Brett to come home, my time card punched before my shift was over, my patience allotment all used up. My kids needed every inch of me that day—my arms to hold them, my energy to clean up after them, my constant attention to read that book and answer that question and pull that stool away, pour that milk, sign that paper, lock those pantry doors again. By the end of the day, I was tired and frustrated that all these ideas I’ve had remain dormant—no time or energy to feed them, or maybe even more frustrating, just pure unwillingness to act on them. I had work to do, and so the changing of the guards commenced. I passed Brett the baton of the frazzled remains of the day, apologized for the state of the kitchen and kissed the kids goodbye. There were toys on the floor and dishes in the sink, and Nella and Dash both cried for me as I walked out.

For a few hours, I breathed and thought and wrote, nurturing my own needs instead of juggling the demands of all of theirs, and it felt good. I ate by myself that night, quietly writing between bites and watching the sun set from my window in the restaurant. We needed milk, so I stopped at the store on the way home and used it as an excuse to wander—smell candles, sample lotion, peruse books, scout out flashy fall nail polish displays on the store end cap.

By the time I rolled back in the driveway, it was well past dark. And though I opened the door to the exact same scene I had left earlier—dishes still in the sink, toys on the floor, three kids just as needy—it felt different, my weariness softened by the perspective reentry gives. It was home—the bath toys that made it out of the tub and into the hallway, the ice cube melting on the kitchen tile in front of the refrigerator where Dash no doubt tampered with the water dispenser again, the homework that needed to be checked, the lunches that needed to be made, the excited little gasp I heard from the living room–a reaction to my arrival, arms that reached up to me with a “Hold you,” and the other two that ran to follow her lead. We stood in the kitchen, all entangled in a giant hug of octopus arms, and I soaked up their little needs like super hero fuel.

Sometimes I think I rely too much on the beautiful moments of motherhood to make the hard ones “worth it.” And even though the beautiful far outweighs the hard (listen, I have a black belt in finding good moments), what if it didn’t? If babies didn’t sleep soundly on chests or ever stop waking up in the night, if toddlers didn’t say “I love you” back or reach up to hold your hand, if daughters never smiled and curled up in your lap at night just like how you imagined they would when you dreamed of them, if sons never asked you to help them ride a bike or read a book or hold them when they’re scared, if research and routines and therapists never delivered the breakthroughs you believed in, if teenagers never said “I’m sorry,” if tough love never brought her back home, if you never stopped feeling this tired or unequipped or so completely removed from how you thought it would look, if it never got better…it’s still worth it. Right now.

Loving, even when it’s hard, is the payoff in parenting. Not our kids shelling out beautiful moments or loving us back or being good or becoming something different from what they are right now. The flip side to the hard parts of parenthood isn’t shinier or easier–it’s just clearer. Like coming home to the same needs and messes and volume and stressses that you left a bit earlier but seeing them for what they are–something you get to be a part of.

So while I picked moments that might look shiny to share, know that they aren’t what made parenting good or beautiful or worth it this week. They just gave us something to smile about.

Enjoying…

Hide and Go Seek.
I swear he’d hide for half an hour, silent and waiting, if that’s how long it took for me to find him.

Mermaid Tails.

This Face.

This Kiss.

Predictable Rain Fun. 
Same time every day.

Woodstock Traffic Jam

Watching Brett Point the Leaf Blower at the Kids
…because gas fumes and power tools are fun safe toys, and we’re responsible like that.

Nanny Skills

Spontaneous Witching Hour Get-Out-of-the-House Adventures

The Westminster Trot
Am I right or am I right? See, look.

All Three in a Pic.
Stroller seat belt for the win.

Brett and I are all about the United Front of Parenting in that we back each other up on matters of Be Kind to Your Siblings, Put Your Dirty Clothes in the Hamper and If Your Mom Said No, I’m Not Saying Yes. For major issues, our parenting philosophies are pretty similar, so we really don’t run into a whole lot of problems.

Unless you count bedtime.

I don’t know how he does it, but Brett can take the kids from an energy level of 10 to 1 gradually and effortlessly so that, without even realizing it’s happening, they’re in bed with their eyes half-closed before they’re all, “Wait—it’s bedtime?” A professional winder-downer he is—just a high lace collar and an apron away from Mary Poppins herself. (Remember Stay Awake? Stealthy little put-‘em-to-sleep-er, she was.)

Me? I get my best ideas for fun when my kids have just slid under the covers. Hey kids, want to build a fort? Hey kids, want to have a dance-off? Hey kids, want to jump on the bed and turn the music up as loud as it goes?

Take the other night. I offer to lay with Nella to give Lainey a chance to stay up later. It’s quiet and peaceful, and Nella looks at me with this precious twinkle in her eye that—yes—could be saying, “Goodnight, Mom,” but could also be translated as “one more fun, please,” the latter which, of course I’m going to hear because—duh, unicorn. So in the dark, we sing the newly memorized words to “All About That Base.” Which leads to newly choreographed dance moves on the “Shake it, shake it” and the “Boom Boom” parts. Which leads to Dad coming in to simmer it down.

“Seriously, you can’t just count sheep?” he says. “Don’t wind them up.”

That face? Wound up. You’re welcome.

It’s not that I think my way is right because it doesn’t take King Solomon to point out the most responsible routine here—it’s clearly Brett’s. But there’s something super fun (imagine bubble letters there) about slipping in a “Hey Life, You’re Amazing!” right where you didn’t expect it. It’s like the opposite of my old days of thinking a long boring sermon was about to finish when the pastor announced, “And now to Part II: Fearing God. If you’ll turn with me to Isaiah…” And being the opposite of that is a very good thing indeed.

I realized this morning though, that it’s good I’m a winder-upper and he’s a winder-downer. We need both. I’m the first one up with my coffee, and pulling Brett and Lainey out of bed can sometimes be a challenging task. You know what they need? A winder-upper, thank you. Someone to walk up in there, fling back the curtains and Shake it, Shake it with a Boom-Boom and a We’re Bringing Booty Baaaaaack! See—winding up has its perks. Brett, you take the high road and I’ll take the low road and together, we’ll get our kids from sunrise to sunset.

Parenting calls for all the things, all the gifts, all the personalities. Whatever your characteristics are, bring them, and they’ll be put to good use. Organized? You’ll need that. Laid back? You’ll need that too. A great sense of direction? Bring it. An appreciation of the joy of getting lost? Hell yes. Strict? Fantastic. Lenient? Awesome. It’s all good, it will all get used up, and where there are gaps, growth and compromise and leaning on each other will fill it all in.

The result? Cool kids who inhale calm and exhale a great big zeal for life.

This post is sponsored by Jessica Litster, doTERRA Wellness Advocate.

A while ago, I shared about using doTERRA essential oils–something that’s become part of our home and wellness routine, one I’m loving learning more about.

I’m happy to reintroduce Jessica Litster, a doTERRA wellness advocate, who’s well-versed in essential oils and the ways they can help you live a healthier, calmer life. Jessica teaches people to take care of their health with a more holistic approach, incorporating natural remedies when possible. Essential oils have been used throughout history for their medicinal and therapeutic benefits and are effective against bacteria and viruses as well as combating ailments from congestion, headaches, anxiety and sore throat to earaches, heartburn and teething.

We started using doTERRA oils over a year ago, starting with simple immunity protection (rubbing On Guard oil on my kids’ feet–they love it!) and calming routines (lavender and eucalyptus oil in a diffuser). Our essential oil collection has slowly grown, and I now use oils in my beauty routine and carry them in my purse for quick remedies or to whip out and offer a friend when they complain of an ailment. I’ve passed out a few drops of peppermint oil to ease a headache and have given on-the-spot mini massages with some Deep Blue, and always love the response. It’s a great feel-good present you can give your friends.

After using some store bought oils, I can also attest to the fact that all essential oils are not created equal. doTERRA’s oils are Certified Pure Therapeutic Grade (CPTG) and are guaranteed to be pure, natural, and free of synthetic compounds or contaminates. All of doTERRA’s oils go through rigorous testing to ensure extract composition and activity. Our oils last a very long time (a little goes a long way!).

There are a variety of essential oil kits to suit the needs of your family, and when you purchase a kit, you automatically become a wellness advocate which just means you are a wholesale member and receive the wholesale discount on anything you purchase (I became a wholesale member after the first oils I purchased–love getting the discount!).

My favorite way of using doTERRA oils is in our diffuser. It diffuses oils into the environment, and everybody benefits. I use Citrus Blend for an invigorating pick-me-up, Serenity and Balance for calm and stress relief and Lavender and Eucalyptus at bedtime, especially when the kids aren’t feeling well. My kids love our essential oil foot rub ritual as well–a few drops of oil on the bottoms of their feet and massaged in, in the morning and before bed.

And now for the fun part.

Since Essie and Sherwin Williams haven’t hired me yet for my dream job of naming their nail polish and paint colors, I decided this post was my lucky break. I’m going to give some aliases to doTerra oils to simplify their effectiveness, thereby making it much easier for me to know what to grab when needs arise.

It’s 6:00, dinner’s not ready, kids are losing it, kitchen’s a mess and you just pulled out a form from the backpack that says there’s a project due tomorrow. Cue dog peeing on the floor.

You’re thinking serenity oil?

But wait. Serenity oil runs into a phone booth and comes out a caped superhero I like to call…

Okay, here’s another one. Ready? The night the music teacher passes out recorders. And your kid brings one home. And plays it.  Hot Cross Buns. Eleven billion times.
Gotta headache? Peppermint oil has an alter ego.

Rub a little in your temples and breathe in. (Then, if you’re really smart, break the recorder in half.)

See, that was fun.

Even more fun? A giveaway.

Jessica is giving away one Family Physician Oil Kit–stocked with 10 essential oils (Lavender, Lemon, Peppermint, Melaleuca, Oregano, Frankincense, Deep Blue®, Breathe, DigestZen®, and On Guard) to get you started or to build the collection you already have. It’s the essential oil muthaload.

You can view terms and conditions below and enter by leaving a comment. If you already use doTERRA oils, tell us the three oils you use most (mine? Serenity, On Guard and InTune Focus blend). And if you don’t use essential oils, tell us an area in which you’re interested in finding some natural remedies–headaches, stress, house cleaning, staying on task, acne–you name it, there’s an oil for it. All of them? Yes please.

I asked Jessica to answer too–her three favorite oils?

On Guard- This is the protective blend. I use it preventatively to keep my kiddos and me protected from germs! It’s also the first oil I turn to at the first sign that we may be coming down with something. It kicks it so fast!

Balance- The grounding blend. I use this all day every day. It is for stress and anxiety and calms me down so quickly. I don’t leave my house without it!

Frankincense- The slogan with this oil is, “When in doubt, use Frankincense”. It is a powerful oil. It is amazing for hair, skin, and nails as well as bumps and bruises and cuts. It is also amazing for brain health and brain function. It adds a boost to any other oils you are using, so I layer it with other oils I am using!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

If you have any essential oil questions, fire them Jessica’s way: e-mail her at simpleoilsolutions@yahoo.com or check out her business site HERE. She’s an expert. And if you’re looking to make some extra income, she can tell you about opportunities within doTERRA (she’s a stay-at-home mom, building a career from home).  You can also join her Facebook group or follow her on Instagram  @simpleoilsolutions for more information.

*Note: Comments on this post have been closed as giveaway is over and recipient has been notified.

This post is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Jessica Litster, doTERRA Wellness Advocate.