Feeling some full-circle gratitude today.
In seven weeks, Bloom will be on a shelf in a bookstore.

The book trailer for Bloom: Finding Beauty in the Unexpected:

And some Valentine’s Day incentives for you if you pre-order your copy. If you’ve already pre-ordered Bloom, you’re eligible for these incentives as well, and pre-order campaign will run through April 2, 2012. Book distributors are listed on the right sidebar or you can click here: Barnes and Noble, Amazon, Books a Million and Indie Bound.

The 10-copy book club incentive sounds like a blast–I’m excited.

If you’d like to share the book trailer, you can use this post or this direct link.

I’ll be posting some book quotes and a couple more galley giveaways on Enjoying the Small Things Facebook Page between now and April 3.

Again, thank you. You readers have been such an important part of our story from the day I wrote that first grief-filled post, and you have helped spread awareness and made this sucking-the-marrow stuff feel like such a shared journey. It is, really. So, thank you.

Our family has a great big e-mail chain. Four brothers, thirteen grandchildren and thirty-one great-grandchildren, all connected. We get e-mails almost every day–happenings of the great-grandchildren, band concert moments, college interviews, 25th anniversaries, funny memories, sad memories, things that keep my grandma and grandpa very much alive. And random happenings.

It is the random happenings that make me smile the most.

Out of the hundreds of e-mails, there is one I will never forget. It was a couple years ago, and my cousin’s little boy was young. Maybe six. He had a reputation for stacking some great Cryderman e-mail history one-liners, and this one was no different. My cousin relayed to the family that her son had announced he had his life plan figured out.

“I want to be a pastor,” he told her, “…and a karate teacher on Tuesdays.”

As much as we laughed at our funny little cousin, I couldn’t help but think this kid had hit on something very important.

Wanting more than one thing out of life.

Wanting way more than one thing out of life.

*****

This weekend, it was both cold and warm.

I welcomed the cold snap, delighted to talk about sweaters and blankets and firewood.

Brett and Lainey, searching the woods for fallen branches

We used the space heater at night. Wore fleece pajamas. Drank more coffee than usual.

Friday night, first fireplace fire in a while

Saturday evening neighborhood party

Lainey’s “feeding her baby.”

By Sunday afternoon, the weekend had warmed up comfortably, and sunny blue skies called us outside.

Nella’s Matisse onesie, the best little retro Etsy shop, Lee Marie

I loved the sunshine–taking my socks off, letting Lainey run barefoot in the driveway, peeling layers of clothing off a sweaty Nella.

I also loved the cold gray skies that came again last night–wearing sweaters, making sure my babies’ ears were covered, hearing the space heater click on in the middle of the night and feeling the room warm up with its red glow.

Our mini cherry pie we baked today

*****

I took a nap with Nella yesterday. Laid down just to get her to sleep but soon felt myself getting more and more relaxed to that place I hardly ever let myself go in the middle of the day where I’m breathing slower and slower and finally so relaxed, I’m practically not even breathing. Somewhere in my subconcious nap phase, I was awake enough to hear Brett walk in and stand over us. I felt him standing there, probably shocked I was sleeping, and I willed myself not to smile or open my eyes or twitch even a little bit but to play dead long enough he’d just walk away. He did, closing the door quietly, and I was left to settle in that bed…in the darkness…in the silence. I wanted to sleep and let go and at the same time, I was writing a piece in my brain and I couldn’t not think. “Sleep,” I told myself. “Create,” I argued. “Let go,” I convinced myself. “Get up, write something, do something,” I argued. I was excited. I was sleepy.

I closed my eyes for fifteen quiet needful minutes, and then I slipped out of the room to go write.

*****

Brett watched the girls a lot this weekend while I snuck away to be alone. To the bookstore where I purused magazines and paperbacks and finally whittled my tall stack of to-buys down to one book and one magazine. I sat alone at a table in the middle of a crowded cafe and people-watched while I ate a blueberry scone and sipped cinnamon tea. It felt good, replenishing. I walked upstairs where I kind of fell into a book event–some readings, a crowd, a couple authors. An elderly man gave me his card and told me about the books he was writing and I smiled while I clutched the books I was going to buy, listening to him passionately talk about writing, vistiting past presidents, teaching his grandkids about grabbing life by the horns. I watched the authors speaking and made note of the way they captured their audience of children, the way they made them ask questions about writing and reading and pursuing their passions.

Sunday morning, I enjoyed breakfast with Margaret Cardillo, author of my current favorite children’s book, Just Being Audrey.

Signing the sweetest inscription in my girls’ book, definitely a keepsake.

We talked about heartache, laughter, success, failure, the creative process, friends. We hit it off.

And then I came home and wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day with my girls. Because as much as I love to be alone, with friends, pursuing that part within me that thirsts for knowledge and connection and reading and writing, there is an even more passionate need to be their mama.

To ignore the rest of the world while we play baby dolls and craft and I trace the frame of their faces, memorizing every little thing about them, knowing they will change tomorrow.

Lainey’s retro shirt, also Lee Marie

I love to be alone. I love to read, I love to write, I love to unleash those imaginative bits of my mind that are all tied up and need attention.

But I also want to dive so deep into motherhood that I forget to come up for air. My heart beats in synch with my girls’, and just an afternoon without them has me craving their smiles.

She plugs her ears because she says school buses are too loud.

*****

We made homemade Valentine presents today. Brett cut some fallen branches, and I painted Lainey’s thumbs so she could print little hearts onto wood pendants for her friends.

I had plans to cut paper and glue lace and ribbons, but Brett called me while I was at the grocery store and asked me to pick up a box of Valentines for Lainey.

“We’re making them,” I answered. “I already have the stuff.”

“Oh, come on,” he argued, “you know how much fun it is for kids to pick out those traditional little cards? I love those memories. My boys love those memories. Let her pick out some Barbie Valentines, Kelle.”

“How ’bout both, Babe? We can buy some and make some?”

I could feel his smile through the phone. “Perfect.”

Lainey beamed as she took seven whole minutes in a Target aisle to choose between Mickey Mouse, Winnie the Pooh and some plain ‘ol Puppy & Kitty Valentines. She chose the latter, and as soon as we made it to the car, she had torn the box open and perforated every single 3-D Valentine.

I love the drawn-out process of making homemade Valentines. I like the lace remnants, the glue drips, the way Lainey’s crayon-scrawled name looks against brown paper.

Brett likes tradition, simplicity, the way his girl beams when she buys a box of plain ‘ol store-bought cards.

We compromise.

*****

Some pastors are karate teachers on Tuesdays.
Some moms want more than one thing out of life.

Contradiction? Hardly. More like different melodies that blend together to make one really beautiful 4-part harmony.

And I think that life is rich when it is full with much to be enjoyed. When you always want way more than just one thing.

*****

Returning sponsor Dashing Bee is back with its wonderful selection of consignment goods including clothing, accessories and baby gear.

Dashing Bee continually updates their shop with new goods and features a fantastic variety of quality brand names–available to you inexpensively. And get 50% off all winter clothing and shoes with coupon code WINTER50. Check them out! (photos represent merchandise currently available on their site)

*****

Finally, two inspiring updates for the special needs community:

1: I am so proud to be part of the Down Syndrome Pregnancy team and downsyndromepregnancy.org‘s efforts in Down syndrome awareness advocacy. They now have a beautiful resource available for families: Your Loved One is Having a Baby with Down Syndrome. This booklet is available for free download, and it is full of important information families and friends might need in supporting loved ones facing a new diagnosis. It is factual and yet heart-warming, full of beautiful photos (provided by you!).

2: March 21, World Down Syndrome Awareness Day, is approaching, and the NDSS is encouraging friends and families to grab this button and show your support for this important day. Friends and families are encouraged to post this button as well as share their support for promoting the value, acceptance and inclusion of those with an extra 21st chromosome (you can check out their full list of ideas and ways to get involved here).

*****

So maybe I painted my nails pink glitter today in honor of love.

I’ll be back Tuesday afternoon for a post I’m excited about.

Until then…

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Cold pad thai, broken chopsticks, and what’s left of my sweet balsam candle sit beside me on my desk–the latter enticing me with its clear pool of hot wax that begs to be played with. I did it–I listened to my inner child and dipped eight fingers (the thumbs wouldn’t fit) into the candle until each was covered with a thin wax shield which dried and was removed in a process that brought me far more satisfaction than it should have. I tell you all this because I am tired, and my short cloud of writer’s block was interrupted by the brilliant idea of setting the scene. My bad.

Highlights of this weekend:

Saturday morning coffee with friends which I like to think of as the gun blast in the horse race that initiates the trot of stallions to follow. The tired horses assemble at the starting line. And then Bam, coffee. Bam, conversation. Bam, cheesy egg hashbrown thing. Giddy up, Weekend, here we come. Really, I just like relating things to derbies. There are a lot of untapped analogies there.

****

I ran into this thing the other day.

It grazed my face upon entrance into the woods, its sticky threads kissing my cheeks and sending me springing back in a crazed, arm-flailing response. Surprisingly, it stayed intact, and my disgust melted into “oooh pretty.”

*****

Lainey does a mean plié. She throws in one legitimate ballet technique for every 20 of her made-up interpretive moves.

*****

Alec, Lainey’s buddy across the street, is one of her favorite people. Sometimes she looks out the window and waits for him to take his dog out and, when he does, she tells me we need to take our dog out too–at that very moment. This “chance encounter” often leads to an invitation to play. This weekend, Lainey and her bud played camping. A real tent, fire, flashlights and a bubbling brook they rigged up with a hose and a few rocks.

*****

After being gone last week, my awareness of every little precious detail of my kids was hyper stimulated this weekend. Like how good their hair smells after a bath, how Nella holds her pointer finger and thumb together on the “roll, roll, roll” part of Patty Cake, how Lainey smiles with her melty chocolate eyes. We made up for our two lost days this weekend. Fo sho.

*****

This is Ginger, the new temporary member of the family.

We’ve been watching my dad’s puppy for a couple weeks now, and Lainey’s in love. Ginger spends most of her time in Lainey’s arms, skipping behind her, or tucked in a fuzzy backpack on her back. Which is where she chilled during our round of putt putt Sunday evening.

I forgot how much fun putt putt golf can be. Especially when you bring a push car for your kid and it doesn’t fit through all the pathways and bridges and narrow stair cases.

So you carry it. While you carry a baby in your other arm, fetch thrown-off shoes (can’t count how many times we asked other golfers “have you seen a pair of kids shoes?”), tend to a dog in a backpack and chase after wandering balls.

I got so embarrassed of walking up to get another ball after ours fell in the river/waterfall/manmade ravine that, after Hole #13 left us ball-less once again, we called it quits and walked out.

Only after we made up our own games for the green though.

Post golf grub.

*****

Finally, she’s off.

As if she blew the final wisps of babyhood away with those candles last week. The walking is a done deal now, and it’s been hard to get used to this different baby in our home. It really changes so much, and though I mourn the last of that itty bitty girl–the one I got to enjoy a bit longer than most–I can’t help but smile with the onset of new changes.

Mainly, how they play. Less Big Sister/Little Sister and more…just sisters. Now with a level playing field.

A cardboard box–the most captivating of toys.

Her body even felt heavier tonight as I walked her to sleep under the stars–lengthier, stronger. A big bad walker.

And speaking of the big two year mark, my e-mail box was flooded this morning, the subject line all the same: “You Made It! You Made It!” It being Nella’s 2 for 2 Fund. This weekend, the fund stood a little under $10,000 of making our goal. And that in itself was amazing–you all raised a whole lot of money these past few weeks. But then came the kindness of one person–a single $10,000 donation that tipped us over the scale. And my, how I am inspired by kindness today. Pay it forward this week, in some way, to another.

*****

Welcome to new sponsor, Independent Silpada Consultant Debbie Smith.

love this simple, delicate Dream necklace

If you’re not familiar with Silpada designs, I suggest you browse her catalogue just for the fun of it. Ranging from classic and simple to striking and unique, Silpada offers a variety of quality jewelry pieces that accessorize any wardrobe.

Silpada Ring

Debbie Smith has made the generous offer of donating 20% of all sales right now to Nella’s 2 for 2 Fund, so you can shop with a cause (choose “Nella’s 2 for 2 Fund” as the hostess when you check out.)

*****

My candle just burned out. Literally, figuratively. Good night.