i’ve rewritten this post several times now.

…because i started this blog as creative expression…to get me writing again…to awaken hibernating creative passions…to have a place to put all that stuff in my brain…to document our life…to leave a mark…to…i don’ t know…just throw things out into the beautiful void.

…but then there’s the thought that people actually read this stuff…and what will they think…and am i saying too much….

but i have to let go of what people think…because those thoughts are too constricting. i’m burning that bra. takin’ it off and lettin’ it go.

so, hypothetically braless, what i’ve been thinking today is….

just love.

because i was.
and i’m normal…and i shouldn’t be.

there are years in the past that are such a crazy blur…
pictures of a happy childhood interrupted by a really bad divorce…
and years of sadness…and a whole lot of weird.

…and everyone i know who finally hears the whole backstory always says one thing….”you shouldn’t be normal.”

…but i am. because i was loved…by so, so many. my parents. my siblings. my grandparents. my cousins. my aunts and uncles. my friends.

we’re not like other familes….

…my dad is gay.

…and after that whole revelation hit our family, things just went crazy awry for a long, long time…

…but through it all, we were always, always loved.

…and today, we’re all fine. together. happy. successful. okay. ….loved.

so, i don’t worry much about messing lainey up because i love her.
i love her…
…and brett loves her. and her brothers love her. and our family, our friends…they all just love her. and it’s so liberating and beautiful to raise her just thinking about love…it comes so easy. and i know it’s just gunna get better and better. what a beautiful life…she’ll be just fine. because i am.

just love.
just love.

the rest…it’ll fall into place.

…some random bits & pieces from our normal life…

her brothers taught her a new trick….all they have to say is, “hey lainey…360″…and she smiles and spins circles, over and over and over.

austyn models it first….

…and cubby copies…

…oh this beautiful camera has brought me so much happiness.

normal people wear lipstick, right?

thanking my mom & dad for just loving.

…enjoying the all-about-love things. ~k

it’s 1940, and this is sylvia.

she’s a stenographer. she’s courting a navy officer, loves the andrews sisters and dancing the jitterbug. she once modeled for a palmolive soap advertisement. she wears dark red lipstick and pencil skirts. on friday nights, she likes to go to a dance hall near the naval base where she drinks martinis and smokes long, skinny cigarettes. or so i think.

wow…what a difference a hat makes.

i love my little sylvia…and i cannot not laugh when she wears this hat.

…enjoying the imaginative things. ~k

#123 of lainey’s favorite things: chasing the dogs with her stroller.

click here to see
(if embed isn’t working)

oh, addendum (nice, official word, isn’t it?)
i sadly missed out on a sibling day up north…my sister and brother spent the day together, touring art galleries, sipping coffee and taking pics for my brother’s new art website (yes…he’s an artist, a real artist)… as in, here’s one of his ubercool works of art:

so, check out this pic my sis took of my bro, who happens to be super cute. awesome pic, car.

…enjoying the lovin’ my fam things. ~k