Friday Real Quick Post (also known as a Friday Quicky)

July 15, 2011 By Kelle

A long stretch of highway–40 miles of it without exits–seperates the people of Naples from the people who are blessed to live near an Ikea. We crossed to the other side today, my friend Julie driving while I took pictures of cerulean cloud-speckled skies and passed french fries to her sweet boys in the back.

The girls stayed home and while it may have been easier to get-in-and-get-out without them, I missed them. I like me time. Solo baths, quiet car trips alone up to Target, quick escapes to the bookstore to read and think without responsibility. For some reason today though, I wanted little feet dangling from my cart. Coming home this afternoon was rewarding, simple as that.

We’ve been talking about disappointment lately–how to handle it, how to avoid it, how to purposely not avoid it. I told Lainey we had plans with her friend Aleena the other day and, as plans often do, they went bust. She was devastated. Stomach jerking kind of cries and tears she couldn’t hold back.

“This is why you should probably wait to tell her about plans,” Brett suggested. “She gets her hopes up.”

“Oh, but it’s good for her,” I retorted. “Disappointment is part of life.”
We volleyed good opinions back and forth in an important discussion that affirmed our dreams and hopes for what our kids will be someday. That ultimately we want them happy. But the meaning of happy is intricate and subjective and dependent on a lot of things. Facing disappointment is one of them, and finding the tools to cope and adjust is something that is learned. I want my kids to learn this just as much as I want them to be happy.

So we talked about the fine line that exists between protecting your kids and teaching your kids and how every day, opportunities arise to both love them and yet instruct them, make them happy and yet give them the tools to be happy when circumstances aren’t so hot.

We practice disappointment when I tell her no, she cannot have a pack of Crazerasers. Even though they’re only a dollar and it would be so easy to throw them on the counter and watch my girl beam when she tears the plastic off and holds those little pieces of junk for all of ten seconds before they’re lost in the seat cracks of the car.

This is hard for me. I like making people happy. I like making my kids happy. I like saying yes, especially when the things that make Lainey happy are always little–stickers and trinkets and erasers the size of my pinky nail.

We are working on ideas to teach her to earn things she wants, how to handle the balance between “yes, you can” and “no, you can’t,” and although we don’t have the answers quite yet, I love the discussions we have in trying some new things. We are reminded of just how much we love them and what an amazing challenge and privilege it is to raise good and thoughtful little people.

No, Lainey. We already have a robot hand at home.

In the meantime there’s lots to make us happy. Brothers are back from their Hawaii trip to play Operation and moderate dog races in the side yard.

And missed play dates with Aleena are made up when we see her in ballet.

Nella’s been toting along for ballet. She likes the empty studios which are like gynasiums but prettier with their palladium windows and morning sun reflections–perfect for her shadow games.

My dad is bringing my niece to Florida tonight. We are looking forward to a movie night with popcorn and couch cushion forts. I was planning on leaving in an hour to head to the airport, but you see, I have a knack for screwing up all things airport related. They’re here. Waiting for me. I had the wrong time yet again. Time for a wrap-up.

*****

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Necklace