This post is another Hallmark sponsored post which, while I’m on it, is really working out to be a great relationship because they throw out a suggestion and it consequently breaks a dam of stuff I’ve already been thinking. I love that this company is supporting writing that doesn’t push a product but rather an idea—a way of life that recognizes the importance of little moments, little people, and moms (and dads!) who make it all happen. Again, they pay me to write these posts but all writing, ideas and opinions are mine. See Hallmark Life is a Special Occasion for more details or sign up for their e-mail messages HERE:
So every time I go to write this post, I just kind of sit there, looking at white screen, imagining my thoughts will string together on their own like toys that put themselves away in Mary Poppins.
I believe that the world is full of good people, good things, and good intentions. I see it every day in the stories I read and people I encounter, and yet I’m privy to the fact that the world has its share of ugly too. Understanding the principle of See Good, Do Good, Be Good is one thing, but teaching it to my children is a harder task to accomplish.
I think about this a lot having girls, especially now that Lainey’s getting closer to kindergarden. It hit me hard last year—this idea of “What am I sending my girls into?”—when my sister shared a story about my niece who was dealing with some mean girl drama at school. Apparently, a girl had left nasty comments on my niece’s Facebook page and arranged a group of classmates to “Like” her mean status. And, let me tell you, when I found out, my first instinct was to get on the next plane to Michigan, march into that school and say some things that can‘t appear in a post associated with Hallmark. You know that Hallmark commercial with the boy and the grandpa and the card and the smiles and the tears? Yeah, this would be nothing like it. Except the tears. There would still be tears.
Okay, I’m kidding but seriously. These constant reminders of the not-so-good that exist light a fire within me. I want to run through village streets, gathering people to march with me. We will raise our fists in the air as we stomp, as we shout: “Empower the children! Empower the children!”
Hey Beautiful Girl, I think you’re fabulous.
Encouraging your kids, shaping them, equipping them with confidence and self-esteem—it’s an intimidating topic. I know how to tape diaper tabs snugly and comfortably, how to feel tiny foreheads for fevers, how to sway an overtired baby into a sleepy trance; but it all pales in comparison to the grander task of raising kids who feel valued and loved, secure in their unique traits and abilities. Ones who will cope with nasty Facebook comments followed by a slew of “Likes” by laughing it off.
What’s up, Big Sister? Have I told you today how much your smile makes me happy?
And more important than taking the defense—protecting my girls from the meanness—is teaching my girls never to be the meanness. I think I’ve always associated the character trait of confidence as input. In other words, the more I praise my girls, tell them they’re great, prove to them they are smart, beautiful, capable, the more confident they will be. More money deposited—bigger bank account.
Kid, I love your determination. Look at you! You’ve figured out how to float…on your own. You go, Girl.
I am realizing though, that so much of confidence is output. Giving to others, complimenting friends, recognizing the strengths and successes of those around us and making efforts to build someone else up. When we do that, we in turn are building our own self-confidence, recognizing our own worth and rising to a new level of possibility.
Baby, you give the best hugs. Seriously.
I’ve found this to be true so much in my own life, a silly experience last year providing the perfect example of how it works. It was the first nasty comment on my blog, its carefully crafted words no doubt left by the world’s most brilliant critic. I don’t remember what it said but I do remember Homeschooled Girl took a punch to the gut. It wasn’t the last of mean comments, but I did learn that a powerful response to someone trying to pull you underwater is to flick them off (like a fly, not a finger. Okay, both) and throw a life raft to someone else. I started leaving anonymous comments to random people—“Your family is beautiful,” “You are an insightful writer,” “Your story made me laugh”—and it was, ironically, so very empowering.
Well, look at my big standing girl. I’m so proud of how hard you are working to learn new things.
There is a yin and yang for everything. Sometimes we get our feelings hurt, sometimes we lose our confidence, sometimes we mess up. The same is true for our children. A big part of parenting is layering love and encouragement, praise and nurture onto our kids. I love that part. It comes easy for me, and I enjoy the challenge of finding creative ways to compliment my kids beyond “You’re cute, you’re smart, you’re funny.” I love to recognize their imaginations, their problem-solving skills, and their creativity.
“Blue cape with orange shirt, Lainey? I love it. I would have never thought to put those two things together, but it looks so awesome on you. You’ve got an eye for fabulousness, Girl.”
Girlfriend, your style is so hip.
In praising the things I love about my girls, I know I am helping build their confidence—constructing bumper pads that will soften the blows of insults and insecurity. They no doubt will know they are loved, they are uniquely wonderful, they are talented and capable.
That look–right there–that’s the one I love. You still look so little.
But rather than focusing so much on protecting my kids from insults, I want to teach them to proactively BE the good. To search out ways to make their friends happy, to let them know they’re special too. Compliment their humor, send them cards, tell them their purple jelly shoes are really awesome. This is such a powerful component of confidence. Output.
I think you’re pretty awesome. And I love your little feet. That is all for now.
I’d love to hear ways in which you’re instilling confidence in your kids, and Hallmark would love to hear them too! If you’d like to share an idea, a story, or a tradition you have in your home that helps encourage your kids, please share in the comments. And if you want some Hallmark love in your e-mail box, sign up HERE or like Hallmark’s Life is a Special Occasion on Facebook HERE.
“Be the change you want to see in the world.” ~Ghandi
Betty Beguiles says
Your girls are so, so precious. They make me smile each and every time I see a picture of them. How blessed you are!
Katie says
Everything about this is so incredibly lovely. 🙂 Thank you xoxo
Adriana Iris says
I used to think you only get what you give at times is not so true…and giving without expecting is richer and beautiful… in the end we need to do for ourselves and those around without expecting that way when we do we can marvel in it like children on Xmas morning. a rambling thought not sure if it makes much sense…
Mallory says
I love this post Kelle. Seriously such a beautiful way to look at life and motherhood.
Kim says
Brilliant. You are my pick-me-up.
J, T and Theo B. says
wow. just WOW. gorgeous post. gorgeous girls. gorgeous everything.
ahhhhhh. now i have my happiness fix for the day!
Jen says
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Unknown says
PERFECTLY said!
Jen says
this hits me hard, as i am trying very hard to deal with my son stuttering. being told last week that his problem is too big for a local speech therapist and that we have to seek out a stuttering specialist. i want to take the hard words and his struggle with them and make them my own, if it means that my gorgeous son would speak clearly and succinctly.
after having a daughter with developmental delays of the undiagnosable kind, i do believe that we all have a struggle to work through. the delays are hers, the stuttering is his. he will no doubt grow into a fine and compassionate young man, because he will be better for the struggle.
i adore him. and i hope that people in the world take the time to listen to him, because he is filled with imagination and love and humor. you would adore him, too.
Lindsey says
I tyr to make sure I tell him “good job” or “I am so proud of you” everyday. so many times it seems that I am saying no or getting on to him for climbing in the fireplace!
carrster says
A beautiful post – interestingly a topic I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. Just wrote about on 750words…parenting is so much harder than it ever appears on the surface – not meaning the sleep deprivation, the making sure they eat healthy food, get exercise, don’t watch too much TV, protect them physically (as much as possible) but all the other stuff – teaching compassion, teaching kindness, teaching them how to be good, happy, productive people. Dang, that’s where it gets complicated. I know we are our kids’ best teachers, but sometimes when I lose my temper & can’t see the end of the day, I fear I’m just constantly teaching the wrong things. It’s a lesson for everyone, I guess.
Tia says
I worry so about mean girls. I have a girl about to start kindergarten and am terrified her spunky, funny little personality is going to be crushed. I have spent her first five years building her up, letting her know how fabulous she is, just as she is. And also I have tried to teach her to be a good friend. I don’t want her to be a mean girl either! The last thing I say to her before she leaves the car for preschool is “be a good friend.”
Pinky says
As always beautiful pictures, love Nella looking at her reflection in the mirror. I hope that I am instilling some kind of values in my bonus daughter. It’s hard though because she loves her mother dearly & her comments overshadow mine, which at times makes things difficult. I do have my son now, I hope to be able to teach him to be a man & not a bully or a wimp.
Jill and Mark says
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happygirl says
Hallmark is lucky to have you. Great post. Btw, your big girl is going to ROCK kindergarten.
Kait says
I so love your posts and the gorgeous pictures you take. I feel like I know your little family!
I am a nanny and was at the bookstore with ‘my’ kids when I saw a little one, about Nella’s age, who also had that magical extra chromosome. I couldn’t help but think of your girl and her sweet smile and soulful almond-shaped eyes.
Wishing you well!
Kait
Jessica says
I’d just like to say.. wow. Last weekend, after reading your first hallmark post, I toted my son to the store and bought 50 cent packs of stickers and blank cards. Stickers with fish, ice cream cones, and mickey mouse. Me and my husband sat and drank iced tea and made “thinking of you” cards for the people in our lives who we don’t see often. Friends in other states, family in other countries. We decorated the envelope and used big block letters for the address. We laughed, listing our favorite memories and things that inspire us about each particular family. It was the most self-fulfilling task we have accomplished in months. There will certainly be many, many more “thinking of you” cards from our family to others in the near future.
Thank You.
KatharineLilley says
Beautiful. And wait, you homeschooled? Of course you did, how perfect! I am trying to instill confidance in my children by letting them fight there own (small) battles. Disagreements with eachother and friends, learning and appreiciating self control, making good choices. I try to lather them up with kisses and praise and teach them the beauty and benifit of giving others compliments. Also, we are starting the homeschooling adventure in a few weeks with our oldest, our 5 year old Joaquin, and our 3 year old Avalin will follow… I will instill confidance in them by allowing them to be themselves and just KIDS and praising the small victories.
Erin says
I feel like I should say I totally sent random “you rock” cards to my friends after your last Hallmark post and they absolutely loved it. I loved knowing that I did something small to make them smile with stuff I already had – just added a stamp.
I don’t have kids of my own, but I make a habit of telling my friends’ children when they’re doing a good job or taking a few minutes to hear about what they’ve been doing. I think having other adults tell you that you’re awesome can be a huge confidence boost when you’re 5. 🙂
Wilcoxen says
As my oldest moves from elementary to the junior high years, I want to hold and protect her. But at the same time, I want to give her wings to fly and truly shine. Her heart is so sweet and tender toward others that I know somewhere along the path someone is going to hurt her. But I don’t want her to be too tough, I want her to still cry with her friends when they are upset. To worry and fret with them when they are facing a problem.
Sometimes, I don’t know if there is a magic answer except to believe in them always and love them no matter what.
Terri K, says
Your post made my day – just what I needed to hear! Thank you!!
Life with Kaishon says
I love Hallmark.
Kate as of Late says
I hope to one day be as wonderful a Mother as you are to your beautiful girls… They are so blessed to have a wonderful mother who loves them as much as you do.
Thank you for sharing your life with us, your words and photos are so beautiful!
Molly says
I try to tell my babies every day that they are my best creation, and that they are my greatest treasures. Maybe one day I’ll be on your level (and maybe one day they’ll understand the words on that level, too), but I think that our love for each other says I’m doing it right. xo
Elizabeth says
you are an amazing momma, Kelle! your girls are so blessed to have you! thank you for the reminder to praise our kids! 🙂
Shae says
Well said sista! I love your blog – it always inspires me. I had my confidence squashed by a boss last week and it devasted me. So I used it to learn how NOT to deal with my kids…I did lots of soul searching about how to train them to be confident in a world that tries to steal that confidence at every turn. So-your post was very timely!
kurlypink says
My mottoes for my kids have always been:
Stand firmly on the ground on your own two feet because you have everything you need to stand straight up all on your own. No need to put someone else down to make yourself look taller.
and
Never show the soft underbelly – if you show that vulnerability, the mean kids will go in for the kill. Be different, be unique, be proud of who you are and moreover, BE STRONG (you can fall apart at home later…).
PradaPrincipal says
I tell my 2 chocolate colored little boys (aged 51/2 and 3 1/2) how beautiful their skin is to me. As one of the few brown boys in their school, it is important, and very empowering. I also point out how beautiful and special their friends of other hues and hair textures are too. Like my son says now, “We are all beautiful.” Well done, mama. (Pats self on back.:))
Team Lando says
Oh, I do love this post. And both your girls, but I especially love the Lainey floating photo.
I’m trying to remember to start telling Ellie NOW that she is wonderful, and perfect, and exactly who God made her to be. I’m telling her that even if she has to work harder than other kids, her extra chromosome gives her extra capacity to love. And we’re giving lots of hugs and kisses, because those communicate more than words sometimes.
Beautiful post, as always.
Tina says
I LOVE THIS POST!!!! So true, so real, so raw. Thank you Kelle. 🙂
That being said… I must know…. are those stick-on/clip-on earrings in Miss Lainey’s ears, or did she actually have them pierced!?!!?
Jill says
Fabulous post about confidence and self-esteem. Something I think about every day for my daughter and son.
I worked at Hallmark (corporate headquarters here in KC) for 10 years! Amazing company and no surprise they found you!
Jill B (Overland Park, KS)
Ashley says
Hi Kelle. I’m not a mom, but as a counselor, I love your words, and I’m so encouraged that some little girls get to grow up in homes like yours. Here’s an article that you may have seen floating around the web this week that I just love, and thought you might to, called “How to Talk To Little Girls”: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html?ref=fb&src=sp%22
Julie says
This is just so, so great. Your love for your girls makes me tear up every time and think “yes! That’s right! She put it into words in a way I never could!”
My wee one is just learning to walk. Walk! How is my baby walking, she is only 11 months old?? She is the most determined, independent little person. And when she does something she is proud of, she looks at you with those big blue eyes full of anticipation waiting for the “yay! You did it!” So we give her a “yay! You did it!”, and we all pat our bellies. Because her new way to clap is to pat her belly. Whether it’s taking a step, or feeding her crackers to the dog, there is lots of belly patting going on in our house these days.
Melissa :) says
“And more important than taking the defense—protecting my girls from the meanness—is teaching my girls never to be the meanness.”
Now I don’t feel so guilty for wanting to (seriously) pound a mother of a child who invited my son to go swimming & we agreed, only to learn the mother took them to the waterpark and DROPPED THEM OFF. My son just turned 10. See? You let me know that defending him is ok. Thank you. 🙂
K to the D says
Amazing post…
I was actually just talking about this the other day and a friend said she had read somewhere it’s more important to tell your girl how smart she is and not how baurtiful she is. I couldn’t disagree more with that…
Our kids need to hear everything… how beautiful they are, how smart they are, how funny they are, what a good friend they are, how brave they are. Self confidence and self worth is important for children and we can provide so much of it to them as parents.
Love your post…
tracyallegre says
What an amazing post. And I’d like to think it was anonymously you left me some love on my blog 😉
I absolutely love it when my 3.5 year old gives a random compliment about one of her friends and I’m going to encourage that whole heartedly. Output! It’s my new favorite word 🙂
Katie says
we always talk about ‘what happens if…’ like on our way to the park…’what will you do if someone is mean and doesn’t want to play with you?’ ‘what will you do if someone asks to join your friends game and play with the group’ …we chat so nonchalently about these things and often…i have witnessed on more than one occasion my son (3.5) navigate the playground in a way that I ‘m not even sure I can take credit for. I have interviened on some occasions when the bigger kids don’t back down…but mostly i sideline it and watch him hold his own. My baby girl is coming up next and I have to admit I’m more worried for her. Girls are ruthless…I think our biggest and best defence it to be their biggest fan from home, first & foremost. You are a great mom Kelle…i love every post and your girls glitter each post with life and full on beauty.
Sarah says
My daughter starts Kindergarten this year and I worry about this too, but I’m so inspired teaching 8th grade when I see girls who are nice. I’m always asking, “what are your parents doing to raise such a great kid?” I wrote about this very issue of confidence and trusting the goodness in humanity balanced out with honesty about not trusting everyone when we let our daughter fly by herself for a trip to see grandparents. I’d be so honored if you and Hallmark read it:
http://thequeensofthekingfamily.blogspot.com/2011/05/welcoming-nana-summer-and-confidence.html
The Falgoust's says
I have been following your blog for a while now and I just love hearing all about your family adventures and your two girls are so precious! I have two girls myself and they are my world, they are 4yrs (Ella Kate) and 2 yrs old (Riley) and some of your pictures and stories remind me so much of my little ladies.
I have been working really hard with my 4 year old about always being kind and being a good friend and I got the best reward last night! We were at dance class and another Mom came up to me and said she had been meaning to email me and tell me how sweet Ella Kate was. Her daughter who is in Ella Kate’s class cut all of her hair off one night while her Mom and Dad were asleep. It was a mess, so they had to pretty much whack the rest of her long locks off to a verys hort pixie cut. Her Mom was worried about her being picked on and said the next day at camp another little girl was making fun of her daughter and saying mean things about her hair. She said Ella Kate told her “Well, I like it! I think your hair is gorgeous Addison!” Her Mom told me my little girl saved the day and I cannot tell you what that did to my heart! It also meant she has really been listening to what I have been trying to teach her about being a good person and friend! Score!!
Melissa says
Thank you for this blog. It’s beautiful and real and makes me smile. As for your post today, I loved it; every word. I teach middle school and the mean girls are so mean. But the nice girls are so nice. One by one, we’ll work to help them all realize their potential, beauty and uniqueness.
Thank you.
Kimberly says
Love the photo captions! Very cute. And what a great post. All of the things you said you want for your girls are things I want for my own son and daughter.
I try to catch my kids being nice when they don’t know I’m watching and call them out on it. “Trinity, that was EXCELLENT sharing!” “Gabe, did you just give your sister kisses? That’s so nice!” It’s one thing to tell your kids to do something nice (reminding them to say please and thank you), but another thing to watch your lessons sink in. And they’re always so proud of themselves when they realize you’ve caught them being good. Those expressions are the cherry on top.
nicole gabrielle says
Having grown up the butt of children’s cruelty (my fave: being told some girl wouldn’t “fight” me because {my} rolls would eat her), I am trying my hardest to instill self worth, confidence & trust in my son. Congratulating, applauding and posting about every little milestone he reaches, new conquest he makes or way he makes me smile are what I live for because I can’t bear to have him experience what I did. Like you, if I can teach him to be the nice, instead of the mean, that’s one person on the other’s side, when they need it most. I want him to be the person who is on everybody’s side, because it hurts to be alone.
It’s a lot to put on his little shoulders, but he already is so empathetic, it’s wondrous to watch. I teared up while watching a movie (the Fox & the Hound, for the record) and he came right up, gave me a kiss and snuggled in right. And you’d better believe I cheered for him then. As I will cheer for him always, not matter what he does, but hoping he’s one of the kids who can fight the meanies without using his fists.
Daniele says
I compliment my girls (ages 2 and 4) every single day, in specific ways. Comes from my teacher days I guess- but instead of “great picture sweetie”, it’s more like, wow I LOVE how you draw a little strap on all of the people’s shoes and how you take the time to draw leaves on all of the stems of your flowers….
I think the specificity evokes important conversation, which instills pride when they get to talk about their likes and dislikes…feeling that sense of autonomy.
Also, funny you’re on the topic of compliments because I almost wrote this on your last post but will today…I kind of stopped commenting over the past several months (even though I read every post) because I kind of started to get into the (bad) mindset that “my vote doesn’t count”….that my insignificant little comment doesn’t make a difference.
This blog is so special to me though- every comment I leave letting you know that does matter, because it makes ME feel good too. Output, baby 🙂
AJD ∞ says
I don’t have kids [yet], but I wanted to let you know that the way you talk about your kids and share their interactions with you… You make me excited about being a mom!
Vintage Junky says
I read all the time, but don’t comment often. You are my crack. In a good way! I am addicted to the feel goodness of your blog… rainbows, unicorns, everything 🙂 Sometimes I am so thankful I have a boy…. girls can be really, really cruel. You know what I want for my little guy? I want him to be the kid who is nice to the new kid in class. He doesn’t have to be the smartest or the most athletic, but I want him to be that kid that invites the new kid to sit next to him at lunch. And, I believe that will come from confidence in knowing who he is.
Amy says
You go girl.. Your girls go too :). and yes. .like so many others have said before…. all three (you, Lainey and Nella’s) all three have a style that is oh so hip.
Thank you for being such a great family and role model for all of us.. oh how I want a little girl to compliment my dirty boys….
Kaitlyn says
Perfect, perfect, perfect. Enough said.
& these photos are gorgeous! Beautifully done!
In our sea of love
Genia & Shaylon says
Oh, love it! You, Mrs. Hampton are an amazing writer and photographer! 🙂 Have a wonderful week.
Emily says
as a junior high middle school teacher, i totally relate to the nasty mean girl facebook junk. i wish more of their families lifted them up and created TRUE confidence within that caused them to NOT be the mean girls. i tell all of my kids that their greatest tool as they grow up is the ability to ignore people and to take a deep breath instead of lash out. sure there are times where it’s ok to stand up for yourself in a constructive manner, but more often than not, being the bigger person means to breathe and walk away.
love it!! as usual… excited to read in the next coming years as lainey enters school!!
Leanne says
With 5 kids there is constant competition so my husband and I try to focus on each child’s individual strengths. Also, I tell my girls to always be nice even though others aren’t always nice, but I stress that being nice doesn’t mean doing things they don’t want to do or aren’t comfortable with. I hope they all grow up with good self esteem and know that we love them always.
Angela Bowden says
Look at Nella standing! You go girl!!
Katy says
Your girls are truly blessed. I totally agree, and I think that complimenting grown-ups is just as important and provides the same great feelings! I don’t have kids yet, or else I would totally give my two cents (although I guess I just did!). Great post!
mrsdee says
4 years ago we moved our family because of the continued bullying our daughter faced. It is only now that I can say Megan is back to her normal self. I have taught my children to celebrate the fact we are not all the same and to accept their differences. I always point out lessons learnt from hard ship. Megan is 16 so we talk a lot about future plans and how there is always different pathways to her chosen career. Andy is 14 so we talk with him about not following the pack. We praise and thank them for helping around the house, even telling them they make the best cup of tea even though it’s almost undrinkable. Lol! Kelle, you don’t need to worry about your girls, they have you for a mother.
Kristen says
Instilling confidence in my boys happens when I do things like painting their fingernails and toenails, because they beg me to! I am not interested in telling them that most boys don’t paint their nails; rather, I’m interested in letting them participate in harmless, fun activities because they WANT to. And teaching them to own it and love it will make them all that more confident.
Shana says
“Sometimes we get our feelings hurt, sometimes we lose our confidence, sometimes we mess up.”
Oh how I needed this today…thank you!
Terry says
yet another awesome, inspiring post! My neighbor’s darling FAS daughter struggles daily with “mean girls” at her school. It’s heart-breaking, such a sweet, sensitive child being tormented. Parents and school administration are working hard on the issue.
As a parent of teens, I try to instill a sense of “do-gooder” in them by leading by example. They have all done time volunteering at a local food pantry and know how important “giving back” is.
You go girl! You are doing all the right things!
Shannon says
I’ve never commented on your blog before, though I am a faithful reader of it. However, this post inspired me and dare I say ‘demanded’ that I say thank you to you.
Thank you, Kelle, for raising your girls in the most loving way possible. Your outlook on life and raising talented, well-loved, beautiful and productive members of society is exactly how I want to be “when I grow up.” I’m 24 and don’t have children yet, but your outlook and my own mother’s outlook are very similar. I love that you are so actively aware in your parenting. As a result, Lainey and Nella will cherish you more than you’ll ever know and it will be a testament to the way in which you and your husband have raised them. I can guarantee that you will be both girls’ best friend when they are my age.
Keep up the great life you’re trying to live, and know that there are those of us out there that greatly admire you for it!
Lara says
I *was* one of those mean girls growing up. Now as an adult I can say that it stemmed from insecurity about myself, but that doesn’t right the wrongs of the past.
I am teaching my children to be kind above all else. To be a friend when someone needs one.
We were at our local 4H fair and there was a little boy with DS, he was about seven or eight yo, and he was running around pretending he had a sword and was chasing dragons. Some bigger kids came up and were teasing him, telling him he was acting weird, and were laughing at him. He broke my heart when even after the mean kids were laughing at him and calling him names, he asked if they wanted to play too. The big kids said that they would never play with him and ran away laughing. My four yo, went up and told the little boy that he loves dragons and wanted to play. THAT is one of my proudest Momma moments!
The Edmondson Family says
Growing up, my mom always left me encouraging Hallmark (or other) cards. She would always pick ones that would say “reach for the stars” or “you are beautiful”. I will always cherish those cards. I believe that I am where I am today because my mom helped build up my confidence while showing me the small things in life really do matter.
833dfaaa-bd54-11e0-920a-000bcdcb8a73 says
This post was so inspiring. I’m always one for giving compliments and sometimes that one little compliment can go the distance and make someone so happy and they can pay it forward.
I am not a mother, but I am a camp counselor and also future special ed teacher. I’m in school for now and I heard about your blog from a best buddies club I’m in.
I just want you to know that your blog is in my favorites at the top of my web browser page and I check everyday. Your posts and pictures warm my heart day after day. And the way you write makes me feel as if I’m a family friend and it’s fun to check in and think, “What were the girls up to this week?”
Have a great week, Kelle and gang!
DonnaA says
I wish had been as present for my daughter growing up as you are for yours. Somehow, she turned out to be the most confident, kind, caring person I know. One thing I do and I tried to teach her is before saying something, ask yourself: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it helpful? Those sorts of filters to a long way to stop the meanness.
Chelsey Hawthorne says
“I love you” – that’s all it takes.
To say it – and mean it – every. single. day. Or several times every single day.
Those three words are more empowering than anything I have ever heard; to KNOW and FEEL that someone loves you.
And to hear and feel that love, unannounced, by a 2 year old… “I luff you, Mommy.” … I love you, too, baby girl.
Jennifer says
Such a beautifully written post, Kelle. I especially like how you share your thoughts and feelings on teaching your own children how to love others despite their shortcomings. Teaching our children to be confident, self-reliant and charitable human beings is one of the greatest responsibilities I feel we have as parents. Your post is a nice reminder of this. Many thanks!
PapillionMom says
I have an almost 13 year old daughter who is dealing with the jr. high “meanness” right now. In this day and age of texting the drama is real-life and up to the minute in your face all the time. She is the underdog in her world, the one who doesn’t mind being alone, studying, playing her flute, staying quiet. It’s never bothered her from the very first day in kindergarten. While I encourage her to make friends with people, I also love the fact that she doesn’t follow the crowd just to have friends. She is a free thinker and has stood her ground through the toughest of times this year. I always tell her how much I love that about her. She is an amazing young lady and has got so much insight in to the souls of others like her, or those who could be like her but struggle with the demons that pull them in the wrong direction.
Carrie says
The way you string words and pictures together Kelle, is like an art. Beautiful! And I LOVE the picture of Standing Nella!! Way to go little one!!
Even though my daughter is only 2 1/2, I am terrified of the mean girl experiences. I know how devastating they can be, and I know they are starting earlier and earlier in life. I think I tell her about 92,000 times a day that I love her, or I’m proud of her…that she’s an amazing artist, singer, block-tower-builder…whatever the case may be. That she’s a stylish dresser, or a totally smart cookie for recognizing the letter G in a book. You’re exactly right that instilling them with as much confidence as possible is totally the bumper pad for mean girls.
I love your blog and can’t believe anyone leaves you mean comments! You and your family are amazing, and your words ground me and make me remember what’s important. Once again, thank you 🙂
Ariel says
Just what I needed to hear today. My first is starting Pre-K in a few weeks, and I pray it can be a year of growth, and excitement, and learning, and minimal hurt feelings for all! I worry though, because she has become increasingly aware that not everyone is nice…thank you mean boy at the gyms kids club for telling her that she had ugly hair! She is still not over this comment, and I know there will be more to come. It is hard, but I too believe the output can count as double, and my girl knows how to give output. She always notices jewelry, shoes, and good hearts! We will get through this, one day at a time!
The Annessa Family says
Its hard sometimes when we get bombarded with bad to remember the good…
But there is oh so much good.
Your blog often reminds me of just that!
Brooke
http://www.TheAnnessaFamily.blogspot.com
Michele says
I try to teach my baby girl that she is loved and respected and never entitles and to give that back. I know she’s only two but the whole world is in front of her and her kindness and love towards others is already evident and I want that to continue to grow and be one of her amazing traits. Thank you for sharing your stories and insight.
Becky says
I love to tell my four boys often how glad I am that God gave them to me! I want them to know that they are each special to me.
ctine says
Every night since he was born, before bed, I whisper in my baby boy’s ear, “Mommy and Daddy love you so very much. You are doing such a good job. We are so proud of you and so happy that you are our little boy.” Initially it was more of a pep talk for me that my little baby was eating and growing – each day I was relieved he was doing so well that I would give us this little pep talk. Now, 19 months later, it has kinda stuck!
Mrs. Mazzei says
AMEN SISTER! I will be beginning my journey in parenthood this Fall and to a baby boy…but my hopes and dreams are to instill in him (and his future siblings) that there will be many occasions in life where people will try their darnedest to bring you down. My experience is because those people, or that individual, needs to be loved in some way they’re not getting…and YOU can be the person to show them love- “output” as you say, even if you take their bad energy and direct it as good to someone else. Ahhh, you inspire ME Kelle Hampton, and as for Homeschooled Girl, well…shoot- we’ve all had one of those in our lives at one time or another…and the best thing we can do is just to keep on, keepin’ on being who we are. 😉
Monster says
Kelle.
There are so many things I want to say, but I’m not sure that I am able, at least at this point. Too many thoughts and feelings whirling around; too many to write something concise.
I think the basic message I’d like to convey, is thank you. A genuine thank you, from all of me, to you. Your simple words, your poignant images – you’ve made a little mark on me, and I want to thank you for that.
I am not yet a Mom, so perhaps this comment is not appropriately placed, but the topic is something I think on often. I am so inspired by those around me; to be better, do better, share more, give more… I am so very excited to share what I know, what I’ve learned, what I’m learning… with those who are with me now, and those who will share my life later. I can’t wait to meet the souls whose lives will be entwined with mine one day.
Love to you and yours.
Nicole
Tiffany says
Kelle,
I am relatively new to your blog – found you through Life Rearranged, i think – anyway i really like reading your heart! Your family is beautiful and so are you! I kinda feel like I want to be you when I grow up – but I am probably about 11 years older than you 😉
Anyway – I really appreciate all you share and express through your blog! Thank you for the reminder about how we can teach our children to be the goodness – its so important – i am painfully aware when I am not such a good example of that – they are watching me ALL the time and learning from me!
I also love your idea about posting random comments on other blogs – nice ones! It ALWAYS floors me when someone feels the need to leave a mean comment – I just don’t understand that – if you don’t like what you read or see or how that person makes you feel – then click away — it was there choice to read and meanness is just not necessary!
As for sharing an idea or tradition or story about instilling confidence – I cannot think of anything particular – I just try to let them be who they are and to accept who they are – no matter what – they are loved. I tell them ALL the time, ever since they were newborns, “I love you forever and ever, no matter what.” I think unconditional love builds confidence.
Hope your week is being super fun!
xoTiffany
Meghan says
Wow, I loved this post. I also think about how to make my daughters have a sense of civics and kindness in this world. I try to always set an example by helping some one in need how bad the timing is.
I try to call my mom or my husband at work and just tell them how awesome the girls are and what great things they do everyday. Even if it was just, ” wow you should of seen her clean up her toys today she was so helpful,” I know my almost 3 year old listens to me while I am on the phone, because she is always repeating things I have said on the phone. I want them to know that I think they are wonderful without just telling them over and over again.
SoOz says
I’ve been reading your blog for quite a long time now, when Nella was almost just born. I went back to read all your previous posts then and somehow I felt in love with your stories. I’m amazed to see how big they’re now, but at the same time, they’re still so little. They’re adorable. I love your blog, your writing, your photographs and your family. You’re seriously, very inspiring!
Samantha says
Lovely post. My girls are still babies but I constantly think about how to raise confident, brave and empathetic daughters.
Debbie says
I think that teaching compassion, sharing, “to love one another”, is one of the biggest challenges of parents. I too worry about this…I also think about the fact as parents we have so little time before they hit school to instill good values that they can display and share with friends etc…
I really try to encourage my littles confidence, tell them everyday I love them, and praise all the good things…
Love the picture of Nella standing against the wall…so cute.
Perea Family says
As always, love your post! So inspiring, and this one in particular echoes the most prevalent thoughts in my head as my big girl heads off to kindergarten, and my baby girl starts preschool in a few weeks.
I’m wondering if you’ve heard of the book, “Have You Filled a Bucket Today?” by Carol McCloud. It encompasses the very same concept you outline, and we have found it to be an absolutely amazing tool in teaching kindness to our girls, and how being kind to others is the ultimate way to feel happy and confident in ourselves.
Thanks for your always-inspirting posts! They are always a bright spot in my day.
Adventures of Ben & Grace says
My son recently started school and I am certain a well rounded child is one who has a good balance of confidence(input) and compassion for others (output).
As for people who leave nasty comments on blogs and facebook? Sounds like they need some hugs!
The Whirling Dirvish says
raising girls (i have 3 myself) requires a magical power. Like you said – instilling confidence and a feeling of self worth without making them arrogant and selfish is a delicate balance. I think you put it into words perfectly. It’s about the output, not just the input. My girls are all on the autism spectrum. It’s such a balance of helping them discover what they have to give – not what they want to have. <3 Thanks for the reminder about the output. <3
Becky@IfTheseWallsSpoke says
Once in a while you write something that completely sums up what’s in my brain! Love it!
“I know how to tape diaper tabs snugly and comfortably, how to feel tiny foreheads for fevers, how to sway an overtired baby into a sleepy trance; but it all pales in comparison to the grander task of raising kids who feel valued and loved, secure in their unique traits and abilities.”
Nike@ChooseToThrive says
My little gift to my kids is our Thursday pictures. I post one picture of each of my 6 on our family blog with “greetings this fine Thursday morning from The Dirty Half Dozen ….” The pictures capture them at their funny-silly-weird-dirty-awkward-grumpy-triumphant best. I want them to know that week-in-and-week-out, I found magic in each of them … just for being themselves … in all the different moods and circumstances we found ourselves in. And the best part is how much they love to look back at all those pictures and enjoy their own awesomeness over and over again. It’s almost as if they look to be able to hear through the computer, “Hey amazing kid. See how great you are? How much you made us all laugh and smile? You rock.”(thedirtyhalfdozen.blogspot.com)
Renee says
Love it, as usual! I am a firm believer in being nice to everyone, even the people that are not so nice to me. I beleive that I will teach my daughter how to treat people by showing her with my actions. I already say please and thank you to her when I ask her to do something…she’s 1 (yesterday). I think the more she hears it, the more she will automatically say it. That is just the beginning. I know I have a lot more time to show her things and teach her things, but for now, I’m leading by example. I want to teach her to treat others they way she wants to be treated and to not judge people for any trait. I want her to be confident in herself and not worry about what other people think of her (this part has been hard for me). I’m finally figuring out how to do that and want to pass that on to her. She may only be 1 year old, but she is soaking everything in around her. She sees how her dad and I speak to each other and those around us. We make a concious effort to be kind to each other even when we disagree. I’ve learned that when I’m in a situation that I don’t feel comfortable in, I can leave. I don’t have to stay and I don’t have to be confrontational. She will pick up on these things, I’m sure of it, in fact I’m banking on it. I have always been the nice girl and have often times been made fun of for it. Now, I am proud of myself for that. I may not be the coolest woman, or have the hipest clothes and that’s okay with me. It may have taken 31 years to get here, but I’m okay with that. At least I’m here.
Here’s to teaching our daughters to not be mean, to have confidence in themselves and treat all beings with love and respect!!
I wish you lived in California, I would love to hang out with you and your girls!! 🙂
Katy says
Such an important lesson to learn. Thank you for this post today.
jkluke says
I love that you’re being paid to write this good stuff!
A tradition that I started with my kids when they head to college:
I purchase a nice glass jar or vase and some pretty rocks/gems(the kind you put in vases to pretty them up) and some little note cards.
I write out about 30 cards to tell them things that I love about them and leave one by their bed nightly.
When they head to college they have a pretty glass container full of gems and a packet of notes to remind them of how special they are to me.
p.s. for my son I used Petoskey stones to be more masculine.
A Cappelli says
Oh my goodness, your writing just hooks me in the heart. But, this post in particular really resonates with me and what we have been dealing with this year with our 12 year old son who has been trying to deal with bullies (they come in so many subtle forms) in school. He is a wonderful kid, and because of one person towering over him- trying to swallow him up in his shadow, he has started to lose his self confidence and self worth. Our words seem so small and insignificant when trying to guide him. We have always maintained the expectation in our children that we want them to, as you say, See Good, Do Good, Be Good. And, while it has not quite sunk in for my son yet, we tell him that those who chose meanness to connect with others are often dealing with their own insecurities (their own feeling small and powerless). It is a difficult balance, supporting him/validating his worries while also trying to enlighten him to the other side of the situation. And also trying to convince him that as long as he keeps staying true to himself, as long as he is still kind to others, it will get better. We tell him to try not to let it show that negative words bother him- to flick them off, as you say. We try to give him a script of witty and safe comebacks. It is so so heartbreakingly hard. As a parent, you want to be the life raft, keeping him afloat through the middle school/ junior high years and you also want to be the lioness ready to pounce and put offenders/ predators in their place. Kelle, you are off to a great start in providing your girls with the warmth of heart and the thickness of skin they need to navigate through troubled waters. Thank you again for a beautiful post.
jkluke says
Whoops…I forgot to say that with the nightly card they get a nightly gem to put in their jar.
Karina says
When we serve, when we give, when we choose to see the sunny side, we grow – we need to teach our kids how to live like confident people, so in turn, they grow confidence!
It’s one of those oxymorons of parenting – if we focus on the output, the input takes care of itself!
Thanks for sharing, and for the Mary Poppins reference – you can never go wrong with that!
kelly says
hi kelle, i have four sweet cherubs baby girls 10, 7, 5 and 1 and an awesome spunky 13 year old boy, and they are the most lovely sweet caring kindest little people i know. They say beautiful things to one another, hold hands and cuddle often. I believe its because of praise, and compliments and positive things we have always said to them to build them up, make them feel like superstars…i wanted you to know i read your posts and know you ARE SO ON THE RIGHT TRACK TO HAPPY CONFIDENT SECURE LOVED sweet older children :-)))))))) p.s i love your bangs 🙂
Tela (formerly known as Terrie) says
you have a beautiful family.
Megan says
I love your post today…so inspiring. Took your advice last week and wrote out cards to people I haven’t talked to in a while-just to boost their confidence a little. Growing up as a girl, I know how much confidence is key to finding oneself. That being said, I look at my 2 year old daughter and am constantly pouring her with confidence boosters about any skill like you do, dressing herself, doing her hair, cleaning up…it’s the little things that you take note of and get her to notice that she’s doing well that will help her embrace herself as she goes onto bigger tasks in life. I only hope she grasps life by the horns-and constantly loves and laughs. That’s the key to life right there!
Natalie says
Just wanted to say that what you posted today was so well written and makes me think you should write a book. I know I would read it! I have been following your blog lately and told a friend about it and she called me to say thank you for telling her about your blog. You are making an impact in other people’s lives whether you know it or not. Thank you for being honest and ‘real’.
Happiness is... says
Alex is still young, so it’s a lesson of the little items to build her confidence; even small items can make a significant impact.
One thing that I do is give her space. Especially at 3, giving her space includes letting her walk with me outside of a shopping cart. Of course, it makes your average trip to Target twice as long.
I also try hard not to get worked up when she’s getting worked up. When she’s frustrated, does it really help if I get mad or loud or make a face in annoyance? No. Time for me to suck it up.
Also, I try to not create fear in her heart as a result of my own worries. Like when she tried to swim on her own last week: A friend was watching her and his son and Alex decided that she could swim without any noodle or flotation. The friend wasn’t watching (!!!) and I came out of the bathhouse to watch her jump in and not emerge. I had to jump in the pool to grab her, but I was careful not to freak-out or to create fear around the situation. And I told her that she was so brave, but let’s try swimming like that only with mommy and daddy. She was so proud that she was swimming by herself, and was clueless to the potential danger. (eek!)
Hallmark is definitely lucky to have you.
-Jennifer from Annapolis
kelly says
p.p.s i should also add one more thing i say this to my family often “the proof is in the pudding”…i say this because other mothers at school encourage their children to play with mine, and we are often told by teachers that they have no idea how my kids dont get involved in mean-ness and word wars at school….ever! when they say this to my husband and i, we know why.. 🙂
Jaclyn Hicks says
You, your girls, your family, are simply precious. And absolutely, 100% amazing. Take Care.
Melissa says
My 5 year old picked up a bible today and asked me to read her something from it. I opened it and landed on the verse about loving your enemies. We talked for awhile about how we need to show love to every one, even people who are undeserving of our love. We don’t have to like what they do but we need to love them any way. We talk a lot about “Shining Our Light” and being a good example to those around us. I tell her all the time that I see fireworks coming of her because she is shining her light like crazy.
Dragulska.com says
Thank you for this post. Today was a tough day for me. I felt my two toddlers overpower me and I started to yell–I never yell, but today was different and I felt ashamed for forgetting to be a parent. Thanks for reminding me what it really is all about. much love to you. xoxo K:)
Lauren says
This was a beautiful post. I write blogs from the perspectives of my daughter and son so they will have something to remember their early childhood years. My daughter is an incredibly vulnerable and lovely (in the funky kind of way!) girl and I hope that she always has the confidence to teach those around her that being kind is the most beautiful thing in the whole world.
b says
I’d like to say I am reaping the benefits of instilling confidence in my daughter from the time she was so little. I grew up being abused verbally and knew that wasn’t going to happen with my child. She is 15 now and can handle anything that comes her way. We mothers can provide this powerful fuel to our children.
Mary Thomas says
Anyone who leaves mean comments for you is just jealous. 🙂 I dig your input/output theme. So true. Some people think we give praise too “easily” these days, but thats just craziness. Maybe praise isn’t always delivered in the unconditional way that kids will really hear “Just Do YOU, kid. We love it”. But nevertheless, the trying is so important. Cause the world at large, well… sigh. We are all doing our best, but this ain’t heaven. At the very least, our kids will have one place where they can rock their freak flag and know that not only are they in a safe place to do that, but we are itchin’ to see it fly. I LOVE bein a mama.
kalah says
raising girls is terrifying. and it seems like you are doing an amazing job. you inspire us all.
Heather says
I LOVE this post. Thank you for inspiring me to help my kiddos do more outputting. We are currently working on letting our kids struggle more before we swoop in. The thrill of victory is even sweeter when it is hard earned. I will never forget the elation on my daughter’s face when she tied that tap shoe for the first time.
Carrie says
A lesson I want my baby to someday understand – really understand – is “those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” It’s so easy to say this aloud to someone else and yet so hard to really digest the words and believe it for yourself. Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. It’s a lot of power in that little statement, huh? Wish it’s something my 17-year old self could have understood. Some days I wish it was something my 30-year old self could grasp. But then I repeat it and remember how true it is!
Mallory! says
I am a high school teacher and I constantly see the “not-so-good” parts of the teenage years. No wonder people shudder thinking back! But in a much brighter light, the kids with confidence and love don’t have to do much. It’s amazing how one little comment can turn the lights on and determine the entire mood of the class period. The best part is when they don’t realize that I heard their compliment to their peer. Props to parents like you. Girls are intimidating but they’ve got a great mother!
Just Trying Not to Blink .... says
Beautiful post!
Watching Kindergarden girls navigate (or rather “bumble through”) the perilous waters of social interactions last year was brutal. They practiced “including and excluding” daily, all but the one stereotypically nasty girl being on the receiving end of this game at one point during the year. Boy, how I wanted to give that girl, or her mother, a piece of my mind. It was tough not to directly interfere but also wonderful that my 6 year old came to me to talk about what was happening and learned to more or less brush it off. Even more wonderful that she decided to stand up for a friend who was being excluded.
I am trying absolutely everything I can to build up their self-esteem, but the thought of guiding three girls through adolescence one day is daunting. It’s the price we pay for having beautiful little girls to snuggle now 🙂
dig this chick says
Really, supremely lovely post.
So much truth in the output which is a big reason we’re friends. When I am in the dumps you give me exactly what i need to pull out, even if only for a hot second. I hope I give you the same. There is so much beauty in building up, celebrating the benefit of the doubt.
Yes. Montana 2011 baby.
xxoo
Jen says
hold the phone…. someone posted something mean on YOUR blog?! How is that possible?? Clearly they don’t know the magic of unicorns and rainbows (!) Anyway, good post and I’m already terrified of the middle school years and my daughter is only 11 mos… I’ve had too many patients tell me tales of their daughters’ dramas involving facebook, cellphones and texting…I think my parenting will involve a lot of encouragement and self-esteem building…. (mostly unicorns and rainbows)… but sprinkling in some rain clouds to show her that there is disappointment in life… I know a few people who did the whole ‘you are the best/perfect’ ideology toward their kids and now the kids think they are God’s gift to the world (!)… I guess finding the balance is the hard part…
thanks, as always, for sharing your stories
Amber says
If you don’t have it already, you should look into the book, Have you filled a bucket today? It is a wonderful childrens book that goes over this thought exactly. It is so sweet and says to be a bucket filler. I have heard of teachers using it in classrooms daily. I think you would love it.
Mrs. C says
Okay, so I don’t have “kids” yet, but I do teach 120 seventh graders, and I feel like for now, they count. I’m right in the midst of what your sweet niece is going through, and every day I feel like I’m on the front lines sticking up for kiddos and gently (or not so gently) redirecting the teasers. Many of the bullies I see are the ones that need to feel loved and validated by their parents, and not through buying them whatever they want, but through real, lasting love and affection.
Thank you for bringing joy into our lives through your story!
Abilew-who says
I think it’s also important, in addition to giving those compliments and instilling confidence and poise – it’s also important to remind kids that their actions and words affect other people. I can’t tell you how often each day I say, “when you did that, it made me feel…”, or, “how do you think that made mommy feel?” Sure, I end an argument like that (sorry honies), but I always feel better when I lead with it.
PS – Goodness, don’t read a blog if you don’t like it. I don’t read a word of anything Anne Coulter writes or tweets or pushes out into the world (personal preference y’all!), because why would I waste my time if I wasn’t feeling it.
PPS – Also, if we had sweet nothings whispered in our ears all the time, the really, truly, honestly sweet things would be in one side and out the other. What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger, eh?
PMS – I’m so sure: a mean comment? The nerve… 😉
Brooke says
Kelle, I have been reading for a few months now. I started from the beginning and you have shown me what I truly want to be in life. If I could be half the mom you are, I would be happy. Thanks for the inspiration.
Amy says
Wow what an incredible post. I too am constantly amazed at the meaness out there and worry about how to protect my littles. I try to show them how to treat others and to see and recognize the specialness in others and especially in themselves. I hope that during tough times if they are being picked on or see others being picked on they will remember all those positive words or traits we’ve talked and celebrated and be able to stand up for themselves or others.
Lesley, Dennis, Landon, and Natalee "Lou" says
I love the way my little girl is learning such big words. She told me the other day a dress was her favorite. A two year old saying favorite is awesome!
I love that my son has taken to the pool and the ocean like a fish! I think his swimming skills are excellent!
Peaceful Cynic says
Very wise words. I love this post and as always beautiful pictures!
I know that the automatic praise to say to girls is “Oh, you are/look so pretty!” That great and all but I am also always telling my daughter what a great artist she is. How amazing her work is. How smart she is ect. And to always always treat others the way you want to be treated. This is a big one in our household.
Tristy says
Amazing….I was just thinking about this very thing today after I heard a mama say some not so nice things to her toddler in the middle of Target. My thoughts were…if this is how this lady treats her baby in public, I do not even want to know what heart breaking things she must say at home. So sad.
At our house, I make sure to praise my boys every day but I also think it’s a good idea for them to learn to look for the value and good in their siblings or in their mama and daddy as well. So during dinner we all go around and say one nice thing (or two…or ten) about someone else at the table and you can’t choose the same person twice. Just tonight my three year old told my two year old that he loved him because he shared his cheese stick with him. My twelve year old told my 5 month old that he appreciates the smiles and cuddles in the morning….etc. Small things….that make a big difference in how others view you and how you view yourself.
Baby steps….towards raising confident, inspiring and uplifting adults.
Happiness is... says
BTW, the Ghandi quote at the end…I saw a card for my SIL last week that had that quote on it and then I saw one that had a 50’s styled lady giving the double-bird to the thought of celebrating her birthday. And wouldn’t you know, that was the perfect card for my SIL who is trying to make it through some trying times. It’s not a mushy Hallmark moment, but a moment all to itself and gets the same point across…hello, I love you and I love celebrating you.
Ciao,
Jennifer
Southern Gal says
So many times I have to stop and think, “Have I said anything positive lately?” It’s not my nature so I have to think about it and do it. And when I do? The way the eyes light up is fabulous. Thanks for sharing how you encourage yours.
Abilew-who says
Hi. I wrote a little comment earlier, but failed to say how awesome I think your blog is because as I go back to read all the comments here, you really empower a lot of folks to be better moms and wives and dads and husbands and people – that’s power girl! I can’t think of a better representative for Hallmark. And that is all.
sal22nik says
Was just reinforcing the importance of kindness with my 6yr old daughter as she was on the receiving end of unkindness–so this post was timely! You are so positive and inspiring!!! Not to mention how lovely and uplifting your pictures are and all your motivating comments! Happy you keep spreading your sunshine! :)You motivate the rest of us to Rock like YOU DO!
Sarah RDH says
Raising children is absolutely terrifying. I remember very hurtful words growing up. Some are what I said…and then they started coming back to me. There are 2 very distinct tongue lashings I received that seriously changed my ways! I realized real quick how I made others feel, and never did it again. It hurt so bad, I cried for days for a good friend turned on me. Have you listened to the Taylor Swift song “The Best Day” that she wrote for her mom? I want that song to be my relationship with my daughter. I want to be the one she runs to when she’s hurt, and make her feel better. That song makes me cry every time. I listen to it, just so I can feel my heart swell. Teenage girls are mean, and they’re only getting meaner. Everytime I tell my son how smart, funny, great he is…I always wonder is it enough? I hope it is, but just in case, I tell him again, and hope he hears me.
Kat says
Loved reading your post so much.
This is something I’ve really been struggling with, as I have two daughters and am expecting my 3rd this Sept, I want them to feel confident and happy and be a great friend. I see my oldest struggling with these now and worry constantly about her.
One thing I have nipped in the bud, is I’ve noticed many of our extended family members (Aunts and Gramma’s) have a down attitude or call themselves dumb/stupid or that they can’t do something. My oldest will now tell them that it’s not nice to say those things about themselves and I kindly remind them that we don’t say things like that in our family. As I feel like she learns from the women in her life.
Sarah says
We encountered this just the other day. 2 of our little neighbor girls who are sisters came over to play. I noticed the younger sister was being really mean to the older one and encouraging my children to do the same. I quickly sent them home with some made up excuse (“Oh WOW”. Look at the time, the baby needs a nap!”) I then sat my kids down and told them that under NO circumstances do we EVER play mean. Even if someone we love is telling us too, we don’t. EVER.
Kat ~* says
I love this! it’s a great reminder and so, so true. But honestly people say mean things to you?!? your like the nicest person ever. I’m a homeschooled girl too so maybe that’s a part of why I like you so much. But mostly I think it’s because your awesome.
Sugardrive says
i love this post. looooooooooooove it. 🙂 thanks for being so honest. it’s a trait seen rarely nowadays.
Cody and Mary says
amen girlfriend… beautiful post. My sweets both have extraordinary talents(baby girl has Apraxia of speech, and bub has Spina Bifida). Everyday I do my best to build them up, and try my best to have them recognize when they need an adjustment. I say the word “LOVE” hundreds of times a day, love you, love that you did this, love him, love her… you get it. And feelings- you made me feel _____, how did that make you feel? (in both good an bad experiences) relationships- how proud I am because Sissy is so considerate of others, always thinking of others…but trying to balance that praise with the fact that she needs to remember that her feelings and opinions are important too, trying to explain that compromise is an awesome thing so long as she doesn’t lose herself…. Did I mention she’s 3 and he’s 1?! My wish is for Happy, Confident, Sweet, Compassionate little lovelies… check your meanness at the door, please.
Andrea says
I started a tradition of doing a painting for my daughter for her birthday starting when she was five (she turns nine next month). The painting is of something that she is “into” that year and she usually tells me what she wants painted. One year she wanted a painting of her Am. girl dog, Honey-that cracked me up. I feel like its me saying I’m interested in something if you are, you are special, you are loved.
Jennie says
Kelle, you totally rock. You are an extraordinary writer (and photographer and mother). Thank you SO MUCH for all that you communicate through your photos and your blog. I feel blessed to “know” you through Enjoying the Small Things.
Kathleen says
Sending a happy comment your way. Not only do I think you’re awesome, but I think it’s awesome that you have turned this blog into a business for yourself. Do what you love, love what you do. You go girl!
Laura says
Love these words!! Great thoughts Kelle! I think about you often during the day- I’m a SAHM of a 2 year old little girl, and you constantly encourage me to explore, create, and show her FUN. Thanks.
dana says
i usually tell my son (21 months) how proud I am of him for whatever he has done, embrace him as tightly as I can and smother him in kisses. He loves it and giggles his little head off and my heart swells with pride each time he does something new..and those giggles are so incredibly special to me.
i love your posts..your words and photos are always so beautiful! you are incrediably talented!
aprilanecdotes says
You’re doing it girl…daily praising and teaching them to be the good. The output will come and you will love it. I have 6 fabulous kids and I can attest to that method although I am still working with the last 3:)
susan
35before35 says
I enjoy your words, photos, and family so very much. You are inspiring…so much so that I tagged you in my blog tonight! I have a 2 and a half year old girl…these are things I think about All. The. Time. I think that’s what will make our children the amazing people they are already becoming.
fricka...leader of the nerd herd says
Oh my…how I live this post daily. 14 & 11, that is how old my daughters are. I fancy myself a compassionate, kind human being. But when my oldest was 10 and bullied relentlessly and I happened to walk around the corner during one such bully session, I failed the “how do you react?” test miserably. I went blind with rage at hearing what that smug, skinny (my daughters are good German stalk…amazonian to say the least) little spot was saying to my daughter. I swore at a child. Yup, I did. And my daughter…told me it wasn’t appropriate.
I have since learned, that both my daughters have been teased because of their tallness, their broad shoulders and long legs. I have also learned that they listened to and felt all the loving adoration I showered on them as they grew. They know love, they are confident in the relationships they have and they are all inclusive in their friendship circles.
They take in those that need confidence and help them find it. They don’t even know they are doing it, but they can’t help themselves.
I was so worried about how to raise two girls to be strong and confident, I defaulted to just loving them and telling them at every opportunity how fantastic they were. Turns out…that was all it took:)
Alyssa says
So funny you should post this right now. We’ve been dealing with drama with our circle of friends and I’ve started complimenting and reaching out in a way I never have to combat some hurts. And it works!! I feel better and less vulnerable.
I want to teach my kids how to live like this. Thank you for writing. 🙂
Lindsay R says
This is such a truly lovely post and one I will remember with my own little girl (just 2 months old this Friday.) I just recently found your blog and am really loving every single thing about it. Your family is beautiful and you are a gifted writer. Thank you for sharing!
Barbara V says
I so agree that building confidence and teaching ‘good’ to our children is the most important lesson we can teach our children. In a world of mixed families it’s especially more so. My grandson lives one week with mom and one week with dad. Even though he is aware that at times things are controversial I try to instill in him the good parts of his father, “you did such a great job with that, you are just like your dad, so creative!” He absolutely beams. He loves his dad, it’s his DNA, and if we belittle his dad, his DNA, we belittle him. I love all your insights, and there are times when I’m feeling down, something you have written always brings me back up and gives me a better perspective. I’ve been following you since Nela’s birth. Thanks……
Little For A Little While says
Kelle, this is so beautifully written. Truthfully, I don’t know how to put into words how I try to instill confidence in my girl, beyond the praise and words of encouragement. I guess i’ve never sat down to think about just how I was going to do that. You’ve got my wheels turning, and now I am aware. Thank you. I think I may just print this post to reread over and over, when i’m feeling discouraged along the journey of parenthood. And it saddens me to know that people leave you mean comments here. How could they? You are one of the most encouraging, uplifting, and inspiring people I know (err..in the blog world anyway!). I hope for every mean comment left you get a gazillion nice ones, cause you sure deserve it. Keep on doing what you’re doing, Girl! You make me happy.
medina family says
precious, beautiful girls!! thanks for that simple phrase…see good, do good, be good. I can’t wait to tell my kids in the morning. We definitely need to practice this. Thanks for the inspiration, Kelle!
Susan
Covey and Justin says
I refer to my oldest as “super-lijah” when I want him to help/teach his sisies–eg: “super-lijah, can you give sissy a boost so she can reach the juice?” his little 4 year old hero-worshipping self just eats it up!! He is a eager helper and teacher as he recognizes his super-powers are helping others.
Christa Forsythe says
I can’t imagine anyone leaving a critical comment on your blog… they must be seriously jealous… your blog brings sunshine to my day!
The Shewmakes says
Beautiful words and Beautiful family!!
We have a rule in our house…..we do not say I can’t. It is a bad word here and I refuse to let them say they can not do something! They “try” and if they need help then so be it. My son couldn’t dress himself until he tied now he is so proud. My oldest couldn’t swing herself until she tried now she doesn’t need me. The baby couldn’t go down the huge slide at the bounce house but now it is her favorite. You never know what might change when you try something!!
Amy
Donovan Doins says
One of the ways we try to encourage our little man is to see the obvious in a situation, but to also think differently about a situation. There are obvious differences about others that he will ask about, but with the obvious we look for the hidden wonderful. The treasure! And with those who are not kind,we always talk about how it would feel to be treated unkindly or be unkind. Empathy is always a lesson at our house.
Cynthia says
You know, with two kids under two, we are really just getting started in our “parenthood.” We are (humbly) learning every day the right and the wrong way of strengthening our kids. One thing that is so very important to us is instilling a desire and a love to be kind to others…and to themselves. Right now, it’s the small things, like saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’…and ‘sorry.’ Picking someone up if they’ve fallen (literally, there’s quite a few tumbles around here). Saying ‘hello’ to the check-out clerk at the grocery store and writing BIG thank-you notes to friends and family for the smallest things. We are trying to instill a sense of God in their life, someone who is bigger and greater than themselves. Someone who wrote the book on love. Literally 😉 Hopefully it sticks…but honestly we don’t know. We can only hope and pray.
I loved your post on this Kelle. You have such an amazing spirit and beautiful insight on life. Thank you for sharing with all of us your words! Ok…this novel is over and out.
Jenn says
First, off topic: Nella is one of the most beautiful babies I’ve seen, truly. I love how you capture her. Have you thought about her modeling at all? I saw in the Nordstrom catalog for their recent sale a little boy who had DS. I think Nella would be a stand out!
Back to topic: I think you bring up good points as do some of your readers. Its easy to tell your kids something but you really have to ‘live’ it daily. To be their living, breathing example. That’s the hard part! When the guy in front cuts you off or the lady in the checkout is rude to everyone around her – its so easy to get drawn in and potentially act in a way that is contradictory to what we teach our kids. I know I’m guilty.
I love my son (and my husband) unconditionally and tell them both daily how much I love them and what they mean to me and how happy they make me. That we aspire and try to live our lives being good and loving to each other and to everyone else is all we can hope for I think. No matter what our differences. That’s what makes us individuals and so neat!
Runningmama says
We have a “special” plate in our home decorated by myself, if one of our kids does something really neat or needs to be celebrated in some way, they are served their dinner on the special plate 🙂
Elleah says
I often tell my daughter how nice it is when she has shared with her little brother and verbally encourage her good behavior instead of just harping on her bad behavior. It’s all about the balance and they need both encouragement + correction. I, too, think about sending them into “the world” and what they will encounter and wish I could protect them from all the bad all the time. Yes, be the good, and I know God will help them with that.
our clan says
Can I get an Amen? Amen!!! Your words are truly empowering and inspiring!!!
originalmj says
I think about instilling confidence quite often as an elementary school teacher. I want my kids to experience the tough times with enough assertion, self control, and confidence to make it through and learn something. There’s no way to prevent the mean girls (and boys) of life- the harsh facebook posts, the dirty looks, the exclusion. Those events will happen, unfortunately. The way you respond or process the events is what will make the difference. Knowing you are loved and cared about for being you will help you through those moments.
With my students, I do my best to be empathetic and supportive. I use reinforcing language to push their self-esteem to new heights. I encourage kids to consider the value of differences. I admit when I’ve made a mistake and judged a student too harshly or reacted with anger instead of understanding. And I keep learning more about this important idea.
If you are interested in how some schools and parents are working on this idea, check out http://www.responsiveclassroom.org (no ad for them, I promise, I’m just a fan)- it has truly changed my perspective on social skills learning…
Janine says
As I was reading, I had so many things going through my mind, so I don’t even know where to start. The beginning…. I guess. My oldest has been the victim of mean girl syndrome 3 times, yes 3 different times. She is the loyal friend who gets screwed consistently. What this has done is made her harden, not because she wants to, because she had to. So now very few are let into her heart, let alone her life. As she leaves for college in 17 days, I worry immensely that she will get hurt. I pray she is stronger.
My youngest (16) has liked this boy forever, I really mean forever. She has waited for him to finally ask her out, he has liked her forever too. Turns out, he never did, he just didn’t know how to tell her. Middle school and 2 years of high school hoping for love, epic fail for her. Oh how she cried.
Today: I went to the staffing for my niece. She was placed in an ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and will finally have language therapy. All though I have known this since she was practically a newborn, I never imagined how my sister and her husband would handle hearing the news. Oh how they cried. I just sat there praying for peace in this family.
Tonight: You have helped me realize that the outside world can hurt and it will hurt. But, what we do on the inside, away from the hurt, will impact our children so much more than those hurts. We are the change they wish to see.
Pinks My Ink
Plus one Wee Bean says
every single day you leave a stamp of GOOD in my mind.
I love your words tonite. Being GOOD is tough in today’s world, but so very important. This post really inspired me to be aware of all the GOOD I am teaching my little man.
Thank you.
GOOD nite!
theoregontail says
Output…you just might be right about that. I’d never thought of it that way before.
sweetnektar says
Lovely post as always Kelle! My motto for my girls is Be Silly, Be Honest, Be Kind, which you will recognize from Emerson. By allowing them to still be children, and be true to who they really are allows the kindness river to flow. I do however think it’s important to allow the “ugly” parts of life to be seen as we have all been living in duality, and it’s important to recognize that this is fundamental to our growth as human beings. It’s not nice to take a “knock” or a nasty comment but to allow it to stand in a sea of kindness also reveals truth. http://sweetnektar.wordpress.com/2011/06/06/be-silly-be-honest-be-kind/
Love seeing Nella standing up on her own! Next thing you know, she’ll be flying!! 🙂
mexiyorki says
Great point about making sure our own kid isn’t the one being the bully. As for instilling confidence, I honestly believe independence is the best confidence booster. As much as I love doing for my son, the expression on his face when he accomplishes something on his own is awesome. Whether it’s figuring out how to tear open his “Bolt” gummies, or mastering the velcro on his sandals. His pride in his abilities is priceless.
Emily says
I loved this. Kinda makes me want to go wake my littles up to tell them how great I think they are.
Emily says
Oh and also, how cool would it be if all your blog followers could comment on your niece’s page with compliments?
Sarah Pomranka says
Yes and yes! As a teacher of teenagers, I like to be positive and encouraging, and it is the smallest, bestest investment I can make in a day. Amen you fabulous, gorgeous, talented, momarific lady!
Kelsie says
Gosh, do I hope facebook fades into a memory by the time our kiddos reach school-age.
Grabska says
Another beautiful post. Mothering doesn’t get easier as our girls grow older. Mine are 10 and 5 – one is growing up too fast and the other at her own reduced, albeit steady, pace. One is a a straight A student and the other we are holding back for another year of preschool. One has 46 chromosomes — the other 47 — both have our hearts.
I read an article recently that I thought was interesting entitled, Are we ‘Good-job’-ing our kids to pieces?” It’s worth the read – http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/42687007.html
I admire your attitude and spirit. Keep on bloggin’…please!
Susan
Kathleen says
I believe that the daily things we do now like the extra book before bedtime or the time put into special events (you know, like Tuesdays!) are the little things that build up children’s sense of self, their sense of purpose. They can stand strong and grow confidently into who they want to be without tearing other’s down.
How we treat ourselves, and those around us, are echoed in our children’s words and actions. When all else failed, I distinctly remember my mom telling me to prayer for those who were cruel, for they were much more shattered than I was.
And, please, can facebook just disappear? I love a joyful baby announcement and a sweet shout out to family and friends, but this nasty stuff is infuriating. To your sweet niece, stay strong and take the high road. Your Aunt Kelle could easily unleash these names and destroy these girls to thousands of people, but instead she celebrates her beautiful babies. Just follow her lead!
Kathleen in Chicago
Amanda Buck says
Gosh I can’t believe someone left you a rude comment, that’s horrible!! I think you’re amazing, and I don’t even know you. I really enjoyed this post since my oldest will be off to kindergarten in a few weeks and I worry since he is still innocent and naive. He wants to be everyone’s friend but yet I know there will be bullies:( I wish i could be there to protect/defend him but i know this is life, it’s like a right of passage to growing up. but i’m still going to worry.
Siri says
I am not going to lie…I am so happy that my oldest is a boy for that exact reason! My daughter is only 2 1/2 but I am scared beyond belief for her! I will share with you though that my son is going into kindergarten and at his preschool conference the teacher told me (along with a lot of great things) that every kid loves him and wants to be his friend! I thought that was the BEST thing that any teacher could ever say to me and I shed a tear when I got home! You go girl and don’t let any nasty blog haters get you down. I love your blog!
Tracy says
My oldest is starting Kindergarten at the end of this month 🙁 but one of her favorite things from PreK was the “Kindness Tree” they painted a big tree trunk on construction paper and cute it out and stuck it on the wall. Every time one of the kids went out of their way to be kind they added a leaf with their name and what they did. Not to brag (well maybe a little) but my girl had a ton of leaves on that tree :). Well I promised her we’d make one for her room.
The Mommy Therapy says
This something I think about, stew over, and meditate on for hours since having my three kids. So important.
I love your idea of BE the good.
I’m stealing it and using it on them.
Thanks for always being inspiring, always a read worth reading. Love your blog.
lynxymama says
love this post.
love lainie’s striped tights outfit!
my baby boy just turned two and it warms my heart that one of the first things he has started to say is “thank you” which sounds like “day doo.” he says this because he hears us and his big bro say it. a little reminder to me that, like you said, the output is extremely important.
aside: facebook and my kids terrifies me.
Melinda says
so beautifully said… how important it is instill confidence and security in your children, especially when they are young. I read your post almost everyday!! My two youngest girls are very close in age to your two girls. My youngest daughter has DS as well. I love to see what Nella is doing in your pictures, as my Addy Cate is almost walking too!! Would so love for them to meet one day!! Your family is beautiful…. keep up the good work mumma! (:
beth larson says
I loved this post…a couple ways I tried to instill a giving nature in my children ( now 31, 27 and 22) was 1: when I would drop them off all the years I was driving them here and there I would always say: “make a difference out there” when they’d get out of the car,(they like to tease me about it now-but hey I think it was a good mantra), and the other was this: we had a chalk board in our front hallway and my favorite quote to put on it was, “to whom much is given, much is expected”. You seem like a phenomenal young mother. Hats off to you girl. Wish you were my neighbor! xo beth
Melissa says
I have been thinking the same thing lately with my son who is entering first grade and my daughter going into Pre-K. It’s a scary mean world out there an every instinct in me wants to protect and shelter them. It’s something I worry about frequently. And then with my 14 month old with DS, don’t even get me started on my worries about acceptance!! Beautifully written and I ADORE the first picture of Nella looking in the mirror – priceless!!!!
Erin says
I’m also raising little girls (3.5, 21 months and 3 months old) and I struggle daily with my worries about their self esteem.n One of the things that we started doing before my second daughter was born was ending our bedtime routine with the “litany of love” – it starts “momma loves you, daddy loves you, katie and lucy and josie love each other…” and goes through grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, the nanny, a few close friends and all of the extended family dogs. It grew out of what my parents told my husband when he asked to marry me, which was that he had to take care of me because I was “much loved.” I feel blessed to have grown up with that knowledge and I want the same for my girls. Of course, only time will tell, but I was encouraged a few months ago when my oldest daughter told me that a “big girl” was being mean to her and the McDonald’s playland and my daughter’s response was “my mommy and daddy love me.” It’s a scary road that we travel, I only hope that if my girls know how much they are loved by others, they will love themselves just as much.
Angie says
Oh Kelle, Great post! I love this whole idea of input versus output and have been thinking about it a lot lately. A friend told me awhile back about a book, Have You Filled A Bucket Today by Carol McCloud. It’s exactly this concept of filling other people up and in doing so, filling yourself up. It’s great. This summer the kids and I have looked for ways to be a blessing to those around us. Last week, spur of the moment, went to Walmart & bought all the ingredients for homemade oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, put them in mason jars and tied them with gingham ribbon. Then delivered them to all of our friends. I had tears in my eyes seeing how excited the kids were to do this for their friends! We talked about different ways to be a blessing, how to make someone feel better, smile, draw a picture, tell them something they like, as Isaac, 6, stirred and Gabe, 4, poured. Those cookies were made with love!! I look forward to more of these fun opportunities with my kids.
Happy almost Wednesday 🙂
XOXO,
Angie from Ohio
Kate and Mike says
Thank you for this right on post. I recently caught a glimpse of the challenges ahead for my girls and all our girls. My five-year-old was on the wrong end of someone’s bad choices. Hardest to watch was the way that the friend’s parents condoned the meanness by their own inaction.
I have always been clear with my girls that the things that will make me most proud and most happy is watching them treat people with kindness and compassion. I need to make sure they know that showing kindness and compassion will make them FEEL proud–even when it is hard to do. Having the courage to do what is right is often not the easy choice in the moment, but the best choice in the end. Thank you for the idea of encouraging them to be mindful of what they are putting out to those around them. We will surely talk about output for a long time to come.
Meagan Kenney says
Beautifully written Kelle. You keep me going throughout my week! Please never stop writing.
Danielle Behnke says
you blog is so wonderful and your pictures are amazing! beautiful girls and you definitely capture their personalities. I LOVE it!
The Wards says
So well written, I feel everything you said. Parenting is so scary and wonderful at the same time!
Comfypjs says
I tell my grandchildren “I love you just the way you are!”
My meaning is to instill in them that it doesn’t matter what they do or say or don’t do. I still love them regardless.
My granddaughter at 3 years old responded with, “Memejo, I’m going to get bigger you know!” I laughed my socks off!! 😀
Katie Lee says
I have been thinking about this very topic lately because I am starting my first year teaching high schoolers. I know from experience that high school can be a trying time and that confidence is one of the only things that will make it easier.
I made the realization while student teaching that a student’s confidence raises more authentically and permanently when they solve a problem, or reach out to someone, give a compliment, or figure something out by themselves. This type of output is so much more powerful and lasting than input like compliments. (although I think you need a balance of input to model output, if that makes sense? Like, they need to see other people doing and being good in order to model it themselves.)
Anyway, I just really appreciate how thoughtfully you raise your daughters and I am so inspired by you to fully embrace my positive outlook on life rather than apologize for it as I sometimes feel the need to do.
katharine says
Kelle,
I love reading your posts and hearing about your gorgeous girls! You have a way of writing that is so entertaining- I find myself checking the blog daily 🙂 As a future elementary & special educator, your blog is read religiously by myself and many other members of my cohort- we simply cannot get enough!
This post really resonated with me, because confidence is something that girls of all ages struggle with. I know I’ve fallen victim to listening to that negative voice in my head, letting it make me feel insecure or unprepared. I’m blessed to have an amazing mother and sister who have always helped stifle the negativity and make me feel more radiant in every situation that I have ever faced. In addition to the wonderful support that they have provided, I’ve been exposed to a very helpful movement that promotes confidence, thanks to my participation in my sorority at college.
My sorority, Kappa Delta, has created a national movement, called the Confidence Coalition, to address confidence issues in women of all ages. Anytime I’m feeling down on myself, I re-read my confidence pledge, and watch the video included on the website. I always feel better about myself, and it helps me maintain the mentality that I can do anything!
Reading this post instantly made me think of the coalition, because promoting confidence in young girls is so beneficial for how they feel about themselves in the teenage years and adulthood. I wish that I had access to the Confidence Coalition when I was in grade school, because it definitely would have made me feel a lot stronger when dealing with mean-girl situations.
I thought that I would pass on the information to you, because it is definitely an effective promotion for confidence! Just watching the video makes me excited about being a girl, and it makes me eager to take advantage of the opportunities that I can achieve, just by being me!
The video can be found at the following link- I hope you find it as uplifting as I do! 🙂
http://www.confidencecoalition.org/watchthevideo
Again thank you for such an inspirational blog- I will always be a fan!
xoxo
Katharine
MomOf2Boys says
Kelle,
You inspire me to become a better mom/a better person. I grew up in a very toxic enviroment and I promised myself that my kids will not go through that. We were the last priority for my parents. We never heard compilments, only comments on how worthless we are, I was abused and my parents did not have courage to stand up for me. Did not mean this to turn into some kind of a vent. the point is I did not have anyone to draw inspiration from and then internet came to rescue. Keep on rocking Kelle!
just jen says
I love this times ten. It speaks to me, sister. And those babes….my ovaries are SCREAMING.
Teaching my kids confidence hasn’t been easy and I don’t know that I do it all that well. I’m not a terribly confident person. Surprise! So I do probably the one thing Dr. Phil would frown upon: I live vicariously through my kids. I tell them what was never told to me. “You can do this. I know you can. Because I believe in you.” I whisper it softly in their ear as they sleep. Or anytime they look unsure or afraid. And often I tell them just because I can. And because I should.
And if things don’t go quite the way they had hoped–which happens often–well, there’s always ice cream. For both of us. Because we know how hard it is to try again…but oh, how important it is that we do.
Kat says
YOu are doing such a good job raising your girls and instilling confidence in them. Such an important thing.
I value confidence and a good self esteem very highly, along with being kind, caring and thoughtful.
It is something I am trying to instill in my four children every day.(aged 2, 4, 6 and 9.)
So far I am very proud of them in this regard.
Keep up the great work Kelle!
Unknown says
Kelle-
I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now. I always look forward to a new post. Your writing is an inspiration and a joy to read!
I’ve been teaching for 5 years and this year I’m beginning my first year teaching Kindergarten… go figure!!! 🙂 Instilling goodness and confidence in my students has always been my #1 priority. We have “family meetings” everyday where we focus on the kind things people have done rather than dwell on the negatives. It gets the kids to really own the positive impact they have on others and turns them into great little people. I love our family meetings!
Keep up the wonderful work. You are truly amazing!
-Lindsay
PB and JS says
I found your blog while pregnant. Funny thing is my little baby had DS. I remembered your blog when I had her and it made me realize life will go on just the same. We will be happy. She’s 3 months now and we love her so much. I worry about the ugliness of the world sometimes too and I believe what you said about the output. You build people up eveyday with your pictures and words. Thank you.
The Blakely Trio says
I am raising a very smart and beautiful 3 year old and 1 year old very clever active boy/girl twins…this very topic is on my mind daily! I feel like I fail at getting it right on a daily basis with them, but believe me I try:) I too want so badly to instill all of those things into my children. We have good days and bad days…but at the end of the day I know in my heart of hearts that they know I love them and we will try again tomorrow! This blog is such breath of fresh air:) What a huge confidence boost for me!
Joshua and Jamie says
I really love this blog entry! So true. So honest. We teach our girls that just because someone is mean to you does not give you the right to be mean back. We acknowledge that this is not allows easy but it is the right thing to do. We also teach our girls to forgive others offenses because we all make mistakes, we all have “those” moments. With forgiveness not only do you release the person doing the wrong but you bring freedom to yourself by not holding on to the negative feelings. It takes a lot to stay angry at someone. We take all of our parenting tips straight from Scripture. It’s an amazing guide.
Loving your blog!!!
Joshua and Jamie says
I think I missed what you were looking for from these comments in my comment above so let me try again. My husband and I try to build up our girls by first teaching them about God views them. He loves them no matter what. Imperfections and all! We also like to compliment them on things that are unique to each of their talents and personalities. Our three girls are so different and wonderful in so many ways. Like the Scriptures says, words can either be used to build up or to tear down. I want to be the kind of mom that builds her children up.
greys779 says
I love this post!!! Perfection…you go Girl!
Jane Delrieux says
so lovely, your words travel all the way to Sydney Australia and inspire. This is the first time to comment for me but I have been reading your blog for a while and it has inspired me to start a blog of my own as a diary for my children to one day look at and have a snapshot of what their lives were when they were young.
My favorite quotes are from Audrey Hepburn. This one is one that I try to instill in my kids:
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!”
Thanks for sharing such an awesome blog
Jane
xo
Amy Kosmalski says
As always, amazing…Love the pic of Nella in the mirror! xoxo
Marie says
I’ve been following your blog for over a year now, this post was one of my favorites by far. It just made me want to shout a hell yes, I can so relate right now. Thanks Kelle, for always delivering and offering powerful insight to your readers. You rock!
Sarah says
I’m a big believer in praise! I know the damage of never receiving it as a child. Maybe unintentional on my parents part, but it certainly led me to doubt my own abilities for many years. Your doing a wonderful job, your girls are happy, and so gorgeous!
Beverly says
I remember so vividly as a child, valuing when an adult listened to me…TRULY listened…not just responding with an “um hmm,” as he/she pretended to listen. I make a point to really listen and to respond when my five year old little boy has something to say. I am so important to him that he wants to share an idea or a thought, so I build his confidence by validating him.
Beautiful post, Kelle!
Brown Eyed Girl says
Every day when one of my children go outside to play or I drop them off at school, I have them repeat a little line. I say ” remember who you are” and they say “(whatever their name is)a child of God, the most special and loved kid alive”. I try to teach them that when they know this to be true, they will treat others and their selves amazingly.
La says
I don’t have kids…(yet) but when you wrote about the yin and the yang…well, I totally relate. I/we just need to focus and pull out the good, always.
Beautiful post.
lettersnlettuce says
I hardly ever comment, but the quote at the end of your post is making me today, on this beautiful morning on this side of the pond. We have the quote on a tapestry that we got at a music festival last summer. it’s in our living room, I look at it every day and it is very very true. I’ll make sure to pick up some Hallmark cards on my next trip to the US in just a few short weeks and mail them to friends and family over here instead of regular postcards…
Robyn says
I have no idea how you read all your comments. It must take you ages but just incase you do. I think you and your kids are amazing. I want to share a story of my little boy. He’s almost 4 and while at the shops last week he sat and did some coloring with a little girl we had never met. She turned to him and asked “do you like my picture of a jacket?” to which he replied “its great I love the color”. I was told this by one of the shop assistants as I was out of earshot. I hope he continues to be this beautiful soul. Thank you for reminding me that these are the important moments in life.
Marla S. says
Your posts give me courage and inspiration. So much so, I have started a blog too and am finding the courage to slowly tell my story. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for sharing your life and those two fabulous souls that I have fallen head over heels for. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. XO~M
kymberli q. says
Found this article today about how to talk to little girls and loved it! Blogged about it! I think it will also help instill confidence!
http://kymberliq.blogspot.com/2011/08/how-to-talk-to-little-girls.html
layered says
Thanks for encouraging us to reach out to others, Kelle. I am often the one to hesitate, maybe because of the fear that it might not be received well.
Thanks for being a savior to a lot of us in so many ways. For me, your words and your beautiful pictures of your girls always remind me of what’s good, what’s beautiful and what matters. Sometimes, all the sh*t I have to face through everyday doesn’t seem to matter, anymore.
Keep on writing and keep on taking beautiful pictures!
Jess Thompson says
I have been reading your blog for a little while, but never commented. I found it when my cousin had just given birth to a beautiful baby boy who has DS just like your gorgeous Nella, and I wanted to find out more.
You sound like a brilliant mum, and I think your girls will grow up to be confident and conscientious.
My mum instilled confidence in me by teaching me that I didn’t have to follow everyone else, and that it was perfectly acceptable to be my own person. At high school, it took me a while to make friends and there were people who would make fun of me because I was clever and wanted to learn, and because I wore hearing aids. I tried not to take any notice of it and rise above it, and things worked themselves out. I know that I want to teach this to my children, when I have them. I think it’s important as well that your children always know they can talk to you when they have problems- it’s makes everything so much easier.
_Blogger_ says
“Be the change you want to see in the world.” ~Ghandi
I liked this quote!
–My Mobile Zone
LilianEveDesigns says
hOW’D you know I rock out to Florence in the morning?
I LONG for the day to instill the values I teach to my own children.
Lord, let this be a year of change for me.
XO
Elysha says
I have tears streaming down my face now, because I think about these things every day – how do I raise my children to “be the good”? I blogged a little bit about it the other day, http://mommalysh.blogspot.com/2011/07/being-grown-up.html. And I hope those girls who bullied your niece have learned by now just how hurtful their words and actions can be. Beautiful post today, my boy expecially loved the photo of Nella standing, he kept trying to kiss the computer!
Ford and Jenn says
Beautiful post. I have a 2.5 year old daughter who is full of energy and spunk. She is surrounded by people who love her, praise her and befriend her. I do worry about the day that she goes to school and someone says something mean to her. But, we started early teaching her that she needs to treat others with love and kindness. It’s obvious you’re teaching your girls that as well. It will pay off.
srrcam says
My 12 y/o son told his younger cousin yesterday that the “R” word is unacceptable and should NEVER be said! This from the boy who for years could not stand up for himself and speak the truth. WTG Conor!! You made mama very proud!
shyewonder says
I think a lot about instilling confidence, about bringing my boys (2 1/2 and 7 months) up to be good men. Its especially relevant this week as my older boy is suddenly regressing and acting like a baby to get attention.
I guess I’ve always worked on th principle that truly listening to my kids, getting down on their level, looking in their eyes and being part of their little worlds is how I can best grow confidence in them. I want to show them that they *can* do it, and what they have to say is worth listening to.
ck2,2009 says
I just had my first “i want to be a mommy moment”…i’m 25 & while i love children there’s a reality that i still feel so much like a child myself that i can’t imagine being responsible for the development of another human being. This post (and your honest reflections on parenting throughout your blog) just gave me my heart’s frist genuine pitter-patter of excitment about mommyhood. I even have that tight little knot of excitment in my stomach! Your babies are beautiful, kelle & I’m blessed by your enjoyment of the small things.
Kassel & Kate says
I absolutely LOVE your blog. I started reading several months ago and this is my first comment! You have encouraged me to try more, to be more. Thank you!
Sarah @ This Crazy Blessed Life says
You post today completely speaks to my heart. You are able to articulate with words everything that I am feeling and thinking. I love reading your blog!
This hits so close to home with me too. My Laynie will start Kindergarten next year too and I so much want to protect her and keep her from all of the meanies in the world. Your post is totally right. All we can do is express how much they are loved and how special they are.
Caseybumpinalong says
AMAZING post, and as always, beautiful pictures! With 3 little girls (and a boy!) I am definitely inspired to work more on building their self-confidence. Thank you.
Kellie says
kelle, you just inspired me to hit a few fb pages and leave sweet, meaningful comments. and i might even drop a card in the maill too! thanks so much. i look forward to your posts…they make me smile and make me think (always a good thing!)have a super day!
Mrs.McJeep says
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now. You are truly an inspiration to me. I have twin boys with another little one (hopefully a girl) on the way! And your blog inspires me to be so much more every day.
Just Glory says
I’m still learning about instilling confidence in my girls, giving compliments without overdoing it. Making my praise specific and relevent, so as to avoid the day when they say, “You’re just saying that because you’re my mom.” I want them to know what I feel and what I say are genuine. My girls are SO VERY DIFFERENT from one another, and learning to compliment them specifically, beyond the “smart, cute, creative” easy compliments, has only solidified this fact for me. They are not peas in a pod, but sometimes they don’t hate each other. And they may not be lovey dovey with each other anymore (10-year-olds and 6-year-olds live in 2 different worlds but are still close enough to compete), but when one sister is in trouble, the other jumps to her defense:) That’s a little off-topic, but one thought always leads me down a path to another. But you know what is on topic? Realizing that complimenting my girls builds ME up. Nurturing their unique personalities and teaching them how to handle criticims and mean girls (we almost didn’t survive the 3rd grade!), even how to handle each other, and seeing them learn to conduct themselves with confidence, has boosted my own confidence more than anything in the world.
puckedbylove says
The girls are absolutely adorable. And I love the crazy outfits Lainey puts together sometimes. They truly are wonders to behold.
I aspire to be the good, to teach good for Everleigh. It’s hard because she’s so young but once she starts understanding, you bet your bottom I’ll be trying to teach her the things I had to learn the hard way – on my own.
Kelle, you’re an inspiration to us all.
-Amanda
Leslie says
I absolutely love your blog. I love this post because growing up I got picked on because I WAS the nice girl! My mom used to always tell us to kill people with kindness and I have lived to love that. I hope one day to instill that in my own children. When people are mean the look they give you when you are nice back to them is priceless. It is a much better feeling than stooping to their level. I am very close to my niece and we have a special relationship, closer than friends but honest like sisters. Shes 8 and really had some hard times at school. Some girl told her she was ugly which is HORRIBLE! But she always tells me I am beautiful and pretty so I reminded her of the things she says to me then I also reminded her that EVERYONE thinks we look identical. So I told her that all those things she says about me are true about her. I think it gave her a lot of confidence and made her think how good those things are to hear sometimes. I tell her she is beautiful and kind and fabulous but I try to tell her more now. It matters!
keri says
Both my girls are sensitive, like me and have already fallen prey to mean comments, snarky-ness, etc. They are 7 & 5. I worry about what will happen as they get older, bc lets face it, the world has alot of mean people. So if nothing else, I tell my girls, almost every day “You dont have to like everyone, but you must be kind” I hope they listen.
Recently, at a college reunion, I ran into a girl who I hadnt seen in 10+ years. And she said to me “Keri, you were always so nice”. that made me feel good b/c I’d much rather be remembered for being nice than the opposite.
I loved your post today. Thanks for always making me think about the bigger picture.
Anne says
I love reading your blog. You are such a beautiful writer. And you inspire me to seek out more good and pass it on!
Jamie says
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jonita says
My boyfriend and I took my 8 year old (Sam) to a county fair a couple of weeks ago. Sam was determnined he wanted to ride the ferris wheel by himself. I didn’t think it was a good idea but I knew I didn’t want to ride it! So…we let him go. He did fine the first time around but when I saw him coming over the top on the 2nd turn I could see the “fighting the tears” look. Well, of course, my first instinct was to run to the ride operator (hope he spoke english) and insist he stop the ride immediately so Sam could get off…but I didn’t go with my first instinct. Instead, I kept watching, giving him a thumbs up and yelling “you got this!” everytime I caught his eye. When the ride stopped and Sam got off – he didn’t want any hugs right away. He needed a minute to walk ahead of us and wipe his tears. Then he stopped and that was my cue to hug. I told him I couldn’t believe how brave he was and that it was awesome that he did that by himself! He smiled through a sweaty, teary face and said, “I knew I could do it.”
Jamie says
Thank you, I needed this reminder this morning, about the BIG picture of raising our children, aside from the daily needs we provide, it’s about so much more. I will not be the mother who raises the “meanie”! I hope your post this morning is read by parents everywhere, as we all need to keep this in mind
Cris says
That was a perfectly timed post… as I AM sending my 5 yr old off to kindergarden in 5 weeks, and am so very nervous about this next phase and how bullying and meaness can be so prevalant. I hope each day my kids know just how much we love them, support them and treat others as they would like to be treated. Thank you!
lifewithladies says
A mom of three daughters, I find myself consumed with the task of raising them with equal parts confidence and grace.
It’s a hard balancing act, because I have no idea of the world they are about to live in…but we’re doing our best.
Great post!
Will says
I always make sure to COMPLIMENT THE CHILD AND NOT THE OUTFIT! It’s so easy to say- that’s such a cute shirt…but then children start to think it’s about what they HAVE ON, not THEM.
I read an article once from a child specialist and his main point was to make sure you say things like- YOU make that shirt look so cute! Or I love how YOU make that dress look.
SO it’s ALL ABOUT THE KID and them and not what they have on.
As mama’s we just want to protect our kids from any meanness! It’s bound to happen but they always know their are loving arms waiting to give them hugs at the end of a long day.
OnCallMom says
I love this post. A few months ago I was at a small birthday party with my 3 yo daughter and her 2 closest friends. The girls were all sitting together during lunch, when I heard my daughter crying. I asked her what was wrong. “C says I’m not beautiful.” Everyone, parents included, could hear our conversation. “Of course you’re beautiful!” I exclaimed. Then C pipes up, “Not beautiful enough.” I’m pretty sure my heart stopped beating for a second. My gorgeous, radiant daughter has already been told her looks aren’t good enough….and she’s 3? Oh, I was boiling inside. I calmly took her aside and we had a conversation about her worth and beauty and how C was wrong. But for days after she’d bring it up. I heard again and again, ‘But why is C wrong?’ And I thought, ‘it’s a good question. Why does she have to accept my opinion of her beauty as opposed to C’s?’ And I realized that I need to teach her to recognize her own beauty. Because when she can see her own beauty, no one else’s ‘truth’ will compare. And I think it’s things like output, as you describe, that help us get in touch with a view of our own beauty. I can’t protect her from petty friends and mean girls, but I can give her eyes to see the glorious being that she is, and that’s been my mission ever since.
kristen says
I love to read the book “How full is your bucket for kids” with my two sons. They are 3 and 6 and they both “get it”. It’s about how being kind adds drops to fill another’s bucket (of love, confidence, happiness) and how that also fills the giver’s bucket at the same time. conversely, how being mean makes drips spill out of the bucket for both giver and receiver. We often end up talking about it for the rest of the day as I see them really trying to fill other people’s buckets. Pretty cool!
Ginger@cottageonrosewood says
Thank you. You have the most beautiful way with words. You are truly an inspiration. Sometimes, when I read your blog, I feel like ya knew what I needed to hear today. Funny how life works that way.
kronbill says
I needed this today. My 6 year old Alex got bullied at camp today. Hard day. Funny thing my husband and I are bothered more by the incident than he is. Your post was really great today and really helped me! Thanks Kelle.
sabcab13 says
Your words inspire me!
I stumbled upon your blog from a post I read on a friends blog. From that day on I have been hooked,
Your family is beautiful and your daughters are blessed to have you as their Mommy!
The Lazy Mom says
I can’t imagine anyone posting a nasty comment to you! I guess there are always just mean people with bad attitudes who are uninterested in seeing the beauty, the joy, the unicorns in this life and are offended by those of us who do. But it is exactly those people that I encourage my children to try to bless anyway, not because we are looking to be blessed in return but because we have already been blessed. You, Kelle, are indeed one of those blessings.
Krystal says
Kelle – I am so in love with the picture of Nella looking at her reflection. Often, I watch my littles and just wonder what they are thinking, especially my 16 month old…as her vocabulary is minimal. She definitely talks with actions these days. Instilling confidence and compassion and sharing, etc….for me is an everyday battle. I have really no clue or structure or method. I do believe that giving the attention and love and time and love and eye-level and love are important. We are finding another level of patience that I assumed I never had when it comes to parenting. It is soooooooooooooooo evident that they really are listening and watching as within days or sometimes minutes….they repeat it right back. I pray often that we are making the right choices, but I know we may fail somewhere.
Thanking you for your blog, it is an awesome outlet!
Sally says
My husband and I were just talking about this last night as our daughter started high school on Monday and is trying out for the softball team. I have always said that the best gift we can give our children is to feed their self-worth!! If they feel good about themselves and know that we have their backs, they will be empowered.
I am hoping that my children all know that this mama bear will be there whenever they need her, and appreciate later that she was there when they didn’t know they needed her!!
Just this morning as I drove my daughter to school and we pulled up to the school she said “I don’t know why I get so nervous when we pull up but once I get in I am fine”…I said “here hold my hand for a second and you will be okay”….she actually reached her hand out and I gave it a big squeeze…no one could see but my girl knew in that instant she wasn’t alone!!! That is what I want for my kids!!
jillzmom says
Thanks for this pick me up. I deal all the time with making sure that I am giving my daughter encouragement. She has the most loving gentle nature and is always so sweet to her friends. I want to make sure she is confident when she needs to be. Thanks for making me believe that I CAN do that!!!
Debbie D. says
“Blue cape with orange shirt”…Go
Gators!
You are a Wonderful Mother, Kelle. You should give parenting lessons… seriously. Actually, I guess you do via your blog.
And you are also a wonderful encourager, and that is really a special gift. Hallmark was right on in tapping into your talent.
Teresa G. says
I’m so glad to have been introduced to your blog by a friend. You have a beautiful, loving family and find your blog so heartwarming and inspiring. I am in love with your family! 🙂
Teresa G. says
I’m so glad to have been introduced to your blog by a friend. You have a beautiful, loving family and find your blog so heartwarming and inspiring. I am in love with your family! 🙂
Ashley Barlow says
YOU actually helped me inspire my quiet, shy guy to spread joy and happiness and love by shifting the pleasure to HIM… Wouldn’t Mrs. Turner be so happy if she got cookies baked by YOU – just because it’s Tuesday? While not overly religious (I’m Catholic— we aren’t taught freedom!!!), I try to teach my boys that the best gift to the world is to show God’s love in your own actions by smiling, complimenting, and soaking up life with absolute vigor. It’s contagious, baby! Hopefully they’ll get it some day!
Emily says
The magnitude of my responsibilities as a parent, a mother, is not lost on me. Not the feeding their bellies, cleaning their faces or putting them to bed as much as the feeding their spirits, cleaning their slates and putting their fears to rest. Kids are mean. I have had my own fair share of “mean girls drama” (and I feel your gutteral response to your neice’s experience!!) and I have always wanted for my kids to NOT be the MEAN ones. Simple desire…not so simple to ensure. I love your idea of input and output here. Every day I tell my kids as many positives as I can squeeze in. Recently, my soon-to-be-four-year-old has started asking “Mom, have I told you yet today how much i love you?” (or what a great mom you are? or that you are a good cooker? or…). I LOVE THIS!!! It makes me so happy. Not just because i get a compliment ;), but because it is evidence that she gets it. A glimmer of hope that in 10 years she will be the one taking the hand of the girl that was just laughed at instead of making the snide comments or joining in the laughter (or posting an “I think you are neat!” comment instead of “like”ing the nasty one…or whatever other horrible thing they come up with by then!)
Your girls are blessed to have such a positive role model and supportive mother. Your input and output is nothing but good. We are ALL the better for it. Thank you.
Jacqui and Lisa says
I’m not a mom… Yet. However, you inspire me to become a better person and one day instill what I have learned into my own children. I can’t wait for that day 🙂 Thanks for this blog. I’m off to Hallmark now!
Aidan says
I want you to know your beautiful family and encouraging words are the push I sometimes need to encourage me as I work with young mommas overwhelmed by life and parenting. You give so much output and it boosts this girl’s confidence 🙂
The Mulfords says
You inspire me to be a better person! Thank you for that- you have a wonderful family to cherish.
nathalie says
My first born was a boy, and now I have a daughter. This might be the most intimidating thing in the world, raising a girl. Not to dismiss the daunting task of raising a boy too, but I know what I was like as a girl. I have been meangirled, and I have been the meangirl too. At least we didn’t have facebook back in the day! Thank you for your post!
. says
LOVE your blog & Hallmark:) Bonus! Etta James At Last was on your player, that is the song of our first dance at our wedding!! Thanks for the memories today;)
Janita says
You smart like NASA scientist and I love you. Now can we please please PLEASE go smack some mean girls together?
malelia. says
You have really inspired me today Kelle!! I hope you realize what an Impact you have on not just mothers but women in general. You are amazing!!
http://malelia123.blogspot.com/2011/08/embracing-little-things.html
Denise says
With 2 twelve year old girls entering 7th grade, this terrifies me!!! I have one that lets things roll of her back, no problem. She has funky eyebrows…she gets teased. That girl is mean, but she really doesn’t care. I admire that in her, that ability to not care what others think.
The other one, is very shy….like dear in the headlights, terrified shy. Of new places, things everything!!! This is now how she always has been, but is how she is now. I have praised, encuraged, loved this girl with all my heart for 12 years….I have no idea how she got so insecure.
Sometimes I think no matter what your kids are going to be who they are…the only thing I can hope for now is that she somehow comes into herself without to much pain and hurt through the next few years. In the meantime, I am still there encouraging, loving and praising my girl.
Ally says
I look forward to each new blog post, whether it’s the adorable clothes you put your girls in, your photography skills or decorating shots it’s always a breath of fresh air!
Erin says
Kelle… it’s a rough world out there. My 14 year old told me yesterday that she wishes that just once she could take the low road and treat her friends like they have been treating her: with malice, with mean spiritedness, by ignoring them and pointing fingers at their inadequacies. We talked long about how that wouldn’t make her feel better and how the Creator wants her to be bigger than that.
Not BETTER, but bigger.
That the high road was the strong road, no matter the hurt. It’s not easy, not by far, but it’s the RIGHT THING TO DO. Thank you for this… it is encouraging to me as I walk this road with my two girls. There are mean people out there. Often they come in the form of those we thought loved us most deeply, but our response to the hurt is everything, and the way we teach our children (girls especially) to treat others, will carry on so far beyond them that I can’t even imagine. Your girls are beautiful… so beautiful.
The Fisher Family says
thank you for this post – thank you for putting so eloquently into words the empowerment of being the good. like you, i’ve found it’s best to take the ugly the world sometimes gives us & work even harder to see the beauty and blessings present right in front of me. like you alluded to, it’s a proactive approach & something we constantly have to focus our energy towards. thank you for your blog – your thoughts, the beautiful pictures, the honesty and the good. you so speak to my mama bear heart…
Liz says
such an important lesson to teach your kids (as girls, especially). i struggle with the same thing…the world is such an awesome place, but it can also be a mean place for little girls with oh-so-sensitive hearts. your girls are so lucky to have such a smart and caring mother. i think you are doing a brilliant job teaching them all of these important life lessons.
Annie says
Love this concept. My focus is often on the input. It seems so obvious but really easy to overlook: Living and leading by example. Like those times when your babe learns a new word…then you hear yourself say it like 10 times in an hour…right, that’s where s/he got it from! And living that example feels SO good!
Tonya says
I love the Ghandi quote! I love this whole post. I have always felt the most important thing to teach my children is to be kind. I have never understood mean, cruel people. I can pretty much love everyone, but not mean people. I have a very hard time with mean people. If everyone could just be nice, what a different world we would live in. I have teenage girls who are just now entering high school (they have been homeschooled up until 8th grade) and I have had extensive conversations with them about mean girls. So far, so good, but I pray I will react correctly when a mean girl situation shows up. I might be the crazed mother flipping all those mean girls off, not very Hallmark worthy, is it? (Lord, please help me to show love, even to the meanies, Amen!)
Emily says
My sweet son is almost 1 year old… and just writing those words sends a chill thru my soul.. He is growing so fast, too fast. I remember the day he was born and thinking, oh please let him be perfect so he doesn’t have challenges. That’s silly, right? But I really really meant it and didn’t mean it at the same time. He has a little place in his back that could have turned into spina bifida. and I lost it for a minute. He is okay but it made my words freeze in time. What ifs you know? Look what I am trying to say is that life is so so hard even for the perfect and beautiful children, when our babies aren’t it hurts us just as much as them. But to teach them to celebrate others? Beautiful!! Quite simply a revolutionary thought on raising these babies of ours. Teach them to love. Not just love them. Love it.
You are so very talented and have such a remarkable beautiful family, I read every word like I am sipping a cherished one glass of wine I am allowed with bf, and waited for a perfect time this morning to grab a minute alone to read your words… thank you Kelle. You bring out the best in us too:
carolinamom3 says
I absolutely love your blog. It inspires me every day to be a better Mom, wife, and friend. It makes me realize what is important and with love and patience you can survive anything! I have a little girl that was born at 29 weeks @ 2 lbs and had her 1st surgery at 1 week. We have 2 boys who wore born full term so we were not at all expecting any problems…God had other ideas. She is now 4 and is a feisty little princess. She loves to sit down with me while I read your blog and look at pictures of “Baby Nella”. Thank you for all you do!
Patti says
I remember the first “mean” comment I got on my blog last year. I cried for a few minutes and then decided it was payback time. Only I was going to pay my kind and lovely readers back with a series of giveaways! And ignore the lone rude commenter. Returning good for evil is its own reward – it takes the sting out of those hurts in life!
Speaking of random kind comments- your sweet comment on Mackenzie’s FB status made her day:)
Rosa says
Love Nella in the white dress standing near the wall. She’s so flippin cute!
Joelle says
First let me say that when my daughter saw a photo of Lainey she said “that me!” Guess the blonde hair and smile threw her off 🙂
I love the idea of building up the confidence of the kiddos. What a way to keep them positive in what can be a negative world
Holly says
This is a fabulous post. Bookmarking it for the future when I need to remind myself on the tough days how I want to parent, build my girl, love her and teach her show her good, loving, strong, beautiful side and never let others dictate “who” she is. Thank you!
Lissa says
My biggest thing is to always listen to what they say. I even notice sometimes that my husband tunes out the little comments and questions from my 4 yr old, but I think that really listening to them and answering their questions will show that they are important and that their thoughts matter 🙂
Elaine says
Beautiful post…as always 😉
I don’t have babies yet but I babysat from high school right through college (still do every now and then even though I’m married). I love the kids I babysat…every last one of them.
I instilled confidence in even the shyest of souls by saying things like,
“I love how you like to share. You’re such a good brother.”
“I love every bit of you…even that beatiful single golden hair” Child would then touch hair on head (opportunity to tickle arises.
I also babysat for a Jewish family one whole summer and had a “Thoughful Thursday” day were they did special things for each other and I would reward them with organic oreos. One day, my birthday fell on Thoughtful Thursday and they threw me a party.
<3 Children are amazing!
The Munchkins Mama says
I attempt to tell my munchkins multiple times each day that they are “my favorites, my bests, my smartest, etc.” in hopes that it sticks with them. Your pictures are as always gorgeous. You inspire me.
Jenny says
This post really struck home with me. I have a 19 month old daughter, and already have started worrying about the things that she will go through in school. Cruelty abounds. I have thought of ways to increase her self esteem as she grows and learns, but I hadn’t thought of the direct relationship between giving and personal growth. That is something that I will consciously work to teach her as she grows, and hopefully it will lead to less heartache for all of us in the long run. Thanks, Kelle.
Jenny says
This post really struck home with me. I have a 19 month old daughter, and already have started worrying about the things that she will go through in school. Cruelty abounds. I have thought of ways to increase her self esteem as she grows and learns, but I hadn’t thought of the direct relationship between giving and personal growth. That is something that I will consciously work to teach her as she grows, and hopefully it will lead to less heartache for all of us in the long run. Thanks, Kelle.
sarah.family.friends says
I am have been the one that has had people BE MEAN to them. I just know at the end of the day that I was the good and they are just gonna be that way! This post was so inspirational! You should have it published in a book or something. That post is one of the most positive inspirational things I have ever read! Thank you so much! Thanks to your amazing post I will go into seventh- grade with the most optimistic attitude of my life! Please keep posting and I will keep reading!
-Sarah Elizabeth
Erica says
My 6 year old son has a birth mark on his face. We tell him all the time how special he is because God chose him to have that “beauty mark”. He struggles with other kids asking him “what’s on your face?” or “what happened?” but he handles it with grace. Kids need to realize that no two people are the same…it makes them different but not alien!
April Vernon says
Great post! Adam has gotten very interested in drawing & we have been putting a few of his masterpieces in the mail with encouraging notes to our family & friends.
Jessica says
The motto at our house: Treat others how you would like to be treated! We say it often and use it often.
sue says
Who knew parenting would be such a huge job……I am so proud of my 12 year old daughter’s new “motto” “Be your own kind of beautiful”……I can only hope that she stays true to this.
Kacey Haffner-Bruce says
i also have two girls.. younger in age.. and I think about this all the time! to be the kind supportive unique girls.. not the cliquey rude ones.. but I do think the bullies and snobs have alwyas been the ones that werent confident themselves.. the ones you meet 10 years later at the reunion who admit.. yah.. I was an ass.. because someone was picking on me!!
I just give my girls love love love.. and compliments.. and talk about the world around us.. and why we are all different and special..
Jonita says
Did I say something wrong? I think my posts are being deleted or blocked. I’m sorry if I did.
heidig says
This post reminded me of walking into the grocery store one day after work. A complete stranger stopped me in the parking lot a told me she loved my outfit. I wasn’t really crazy about my clothes that day but that comment made me feel great. So every day I try to approach a stranger and say something nice. You should see the reactions – do it, it’s worth it!
Nicole says
Dang it Kelle….you are such an inspiration to me!! My head is always nodding and my eyes are always wallowed up with oncoming happy tears!!!
My baby girl is 11 months old now and our most favorite thing that she has learned is to be very friendly. She says hello, blows kisses and smiles at everyone. Makes me laugh!! I also want her to find her own way in the world…so we try to not solve all of her “problems” and encourage her to problem solve on her own…even at this age. It’s amazing when she does figure it out and the beaming smile that follows along with big clapping from all of us!!! Thanks again sister..you rock.
MG Atwood says
Way to make lemonade out of lemons. I’m going to make an effort to do the same thing!
MG Atwood says
Way to make lemonade out of lemons. I’m going to make an effort to do the same thing!
Corrie says
I am constantly inspired by you to be a better mother. I tend to be caught up in my to do’s and running this little family I call mine (two girls too!) that I forget to enjoy the moments. You are teaching me to do that more often. This morning I enjoyed reading on my porch and watching butterflies float gracefully by. I noticed them because of you and I thank you. I try and tell my girls how proud I am of them and to treat others like they want to be treated. I also homeschool to give them confidence in who they are as I am so not ready to send them into the school world yet. It is hard accepting all of us, the good the bad. I’m trying to do that for myself as well as my girls. Thanks for your words, they always make my day. You are special and you touch so many. I think your girls are special too and love all the pictures!
Cassie says
With a new 8 week old little girl (8wks is still new right?) and a 2.5yo boy at home this topic has been so fresh on my mid as of late. I hated middle school and didn’t really like high school because of “those girls”. Every day I tell my sweet 8 week old daughter that she will be kind, loving, and a good friend to *everyone* regardless of what they look like or who they hang out with. I’m scared to death I won’t prepare them enough. Praying I always have a bigger influence on them than the world does.
Deb says
Great post! I always had this perspective with my children too, to build them up and make them confident! To teach them to be kind to others! I have learned though that it is harder to teach humility!
Andrea says
I couldn’t agree more with your thoughts.
My girl is just 16 months old, and sometimes I feel overwhelmed at the task of parenting sometimes. But, there’s no other person than myself and my husband that I want to tell her she’s beautiful, fabulous, and wonderfully made!
I believe it’s our job, no one else’s job to make sure she’s confident, loved and knows that she can do anything. I feel that it’s such a privledge to get to instill those things inside of her daily.
Ingrid says
This was a great post. Very inspirational and sweet. As parents we try our best to mold our children into wonderful little human beings and I hope that we are all successful in our attempts.
Angi B says
Such a great post from one mother to another, and a reminder from one woman to the other 🙂 Great read!
Charla says
My six year old daughter LOVES being a big sister to one year old little brother. At 18 months, he starting to realize his own strength, and we are woefully going through the biting/snatching/slapping/pulling hair phase. I’ve so enjoyed watching my daughter be proactive in setting a good example for him! She told me last night, it was her job to show him what the right behavior is, and what rules to follow. She has become a better kid for being a big sister, and seriously it warms my heart more than anything!
Angie says
Your girls are so beautiful! Especially with the internet, it can be a mean world out there. Thanks for the inspiring post!
Sarah Craft says
Oh, how I have been thinking about this very same thing. At the park my four year old daughter loves nothing more than to invite the older girls to play with her. She is often turned down and my heart breaks for her, especially when their refusal is said unkindly. It makes me want to keep her in our house and never let her out.
I continually remind myself to set a good example. To explain volunteerism and let her see me doing something kind for someone else. She wants to be me and there is no greater reminder to be a good person than to see her copy her mama.
Peeper says
I loved this post. The “mean girl” moments and bullying already scare the heck out of me and my daughter is only 2. It reminded me of something else I heard once. I started writing that quote here but it’s so long that it threatened to eat your comment section alive. So I made a response post:
http://peeperblog.blogspot.com/2011/08/in-support-of-input-output.html
P.S. I hate that it looks like I’m trying to generate traffic to my own blog. Ugh. Sorry about that. That is so NOT the goal.
sjgilbey says
Your last post on this inspired me. I sent out cards with encouraging words and you know what? I got phone calls back. “That made my day.” And “You have no idea how much I’ve been struggling lately and your card really brightened my day.” True story. I was touched. And it only took 5 minutes out of my day to do and I dropped them in the mail on the way to the grocery store. So, it took just about zero effort to make my friends’ days. Worth it to me!!
As for your post today, I just want to applaud you on wanting to teach your kids not only how to overcome the meanness but not to be the meanness. How great would the world be if we all did that? I hope that I can instill in my kids the same things you are trying for in yours. I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old so I haven’t thought about it much yet. I do, however, realize how important it is to start thinking now. I think I want to start by being an example to them. Like Ghandi, right? Next I want to show them that it doesn’t take much time to do something special for someone else. So I want to sit down with them and color pictures for grandma until they do it without my mentioning it. And finally I want to surround my family with good people who will help instill confidence in my kids. Obviously not leaving out the bad because they have to learn how to react to those situations, but let’s be honest you don’t have to ask for bad to come around. It finds its way to you without question. I know as my kids grow, my reactions will change and I hope I choose the best words possible to inspire my kids to be good and thoughtful.
Team Copouls says
This advice was given to me at a baby shower and I now say it to my almost-four-month-old son every night: “You should like yourself. You’re somebody special.” Love it!
Love is all you need says
I love this. It is such a reminder to me that when someone brings you down try to focus on lifting someone else up and you will rise with them. We have a quote above our door that says “the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.” I want my kids to see this everyday before they go out into the crazy world.
Peeper says
This comment has been removed by the author.
My Secret Rooms says
Love your thoughts. Really love them.
You are right.
I’ve been a mother for 20 years and I’ve always practiced exactly what you preach here: I’ve always told my kids they’re great, skilled, wonderful, beautiful, kind, positive and everything else grand that they truly are.
Sometimes people have told me I praise them too much, but I never cared about that. I knew I was right.
Correction: I KNOW I AM right!
My six year old is as happy as can be, he is kind and he’s sunshine.
My 20 year old had a very tough first 16 years in his life with lots of pain due to circumstances outside our control (as you know) and I’ve worried sometimes during all these years that maybe my love, my praise wouldn’t be enough to balance it ever so slightly.
The other week I got a darn got receipt: my 20 year old told me on the phone:
-Mom, I really love life, I feel I have a good self asteem, I feel I can do things and can go after my dreams. I’m very happy.
After all those years of pain those words did it all for me. What else is there? I cried happy tears and I was pleased with myself. I did it!
Thinking about the upbringing, about what we do as parents and why – the analyzing and reflecting in itself – is key to good parenting.
Let’s all keep it up for an even brighter future!
Jess says
I never log in to leave a comment, but I read your blog religiously. I send your posts to my friends and family, I talk to my husband about your blog and I always secretly hope I will run into you and your beautiful girls in downtown Naples when I’m vacationing there every Spring. I don’t do enough to encourage other people, but you have inspired me. Your family rocks…your style rocks…your taste in music rocks! Take care!
Phyl says
Kelle,
I think you are great. I love coming to your website. It harkens back to the olden days of community.
Phyl
PS Your babies are glorious in every way.
VeryGratefulLife says
1) I love this post. Kelle, I love the way you always captures my thoughts, hopes, fears and even dreamy solutions…so beautifully in writing. It’s so wonderfully validating when I read a post like this; and say “wow. I’ve had those same thoughts!” 2) Let’s start a girl power movement. I hear so many moms say they’re terrified of mean girls. I want a nationwide movement that encourages girls to empower each other, not cut each other down. Kind of like that short-lived but FABULOUS MTV reality show (yes, I said “fabulous” and “reality show”) in the same sentence, that went to high schools across the country to break down barriers and encourage kids to stop tearing each other down and instead work to realize their commonalities and celebrate the uniqueness of their peers. I would vote Kelle Hampton as president of said movement, if it existed. I’d be VP. 🙂
Wendy says
I love, love, love the photo of Lainey floating in the pool!
Recursively says
Kids are going to face difficult emotions. I think the best thing we can do is equip them with the tools they need to face those situations and stay afloat. Dr. John Gottman has a great book called the Relationship Cure that discusses how to be an emotional coach for your children that I really like. It sounds like you already are that, so I don’t know how helpful it will be, but I’ve loved reading his books because they aren’t just theoretical. Anyway, you’ll do great. You are so positive and upbeat about life, how can you fail?
MsellWrites says
I’m not a parent, but I’m a big sister — third of eleven kids.
I’ve grown up writing and I’ve grown up being complimented on my writing — which oftentimes frustrated me, because I knew I could do better. What I REALLY appreciated was people just taking an interest in my writing. Asking questions about the process and pieces and whatnot. The compliments got old, but that didn’t mean I wanted my writing to be ignored.
mamasurfs says
Your post today inspired me to add a little extra “output” to my day and send some special messages to friends just because….
You’re right…doing good makes us feel good and builds us up. Things have been a little hectic over here…new baby, exploding toilets, a remodel that is full of never ending surprises and amongst it all when I sit back I realize wow….this is life…totally crazy…totally overwhelming and totally beautiful and I should share that with the ones I love.
Thanks for always being an inspiration!
JennyD says
Today was the perfect day for me to read this post..I agree with 100% about the input…however sometimes i feel like it isnt enough for one of my children..just today i was asking myself what else i can do besides “the input” and your idea of “the output” was just perfect!! Cant wait to start it in the morning! 🙂
6512 and growing says
This was a beautiful, beautiful post, Kelle.
I try (and sometimes fail) to recognize my kids for the effort they put in, or the kindness they show, rather than the vaguer statements like “you’re so smart.”
My husband and I just had a big talk about telling my daughter (4 years old) that she’s pretty. It almost seems unfair to compliment her on her looks – I’d like her to feel good in her skin but to know that who she is isn’t her appearance.
Tricky, tricky stuff!
Christy Marshall says
you challenge me through your words. like you, praise comes natural and your post what just what i needed to solidify that i am not messing up my kids. even if i am not the most consistent. i AM the most awesome compliment-er and praise my kids for throwing something in the trash as big as i do peeing in the potty for the very first time. i feel so much better about who they are going to become now. thanks for your writing. if you ever get a chance, i’m sure you couldn’t possibly use one more blog to follow, i’d love to have your company at http://www.pausebuttonplease.blogspot.com
much love,
christy
p.s. i am making those picture frames tomorrow. so excited. keep those simple ideas coming. i just eat your blogs up!!
AuntieC93 says
I think everyone has to deal with atleast one “mean girl” in elementary school, and sadly more later in life just when you thought people had matured. I worry for my niece (and know her mommmy, my sister, does too) just like you worry for your girls. They will be okay though. They will make it. I love your Hallmark posts and I love your blog! 🙂
http://auntiec93-tothineownselfbetrue.blogspot.com/
katie says
Tears. Legit, happy tears. Your comments about your daughters are beautifully composed, especially because they are genuine. Your input/output theory is so spot-on. Love love love.
Anna-Maija says
So the other night our eight year old came to me before dinner with an idea. Everynight at dinner one person gets to eat on the “strawberry plate”. The person with the special plate gets to go around the table saying something nice about each person at the table. Afterward she instructs each person at the table to say something nice about the the person lucky enough to have the “strawberry plate”. As their last instruction, the person with the special plate gets to pick someone for the next evening meal. She came up with the idea on her own and implemented it. Her eyes sparkled the first night…What a great feeling to see my child so empowered by her idea. It was also empowering for me. It gave me what I need to keep going. It gave me reassurance that I’m doing the best that I can as a parent…The best part? Guess who got to have the “strawberry plate” first?
She did:)
Dee says
This post brought tears to my eyes. I strive to teach my daughter confidence, but honestly she winds up teaching me, often. Her ability to take something small and devote energy to it, reminds me that sometimes the important things in life are found in the details.
I love reading your blog!
XO – Dee
Joella says
Hi Kelly, If you haven’t read the children’s book “Have You Filled a Bucket Today?” please try to soon! It echoes exactly what you just talked about and is perfect for instilling it in our kids! BEAUTIFUL pictures as always! 🙂
mummalove says
Beautiful post, as usual, and such an important topic. I have no doubt your gorgeous girls are constantly learning important lessons from such an amazing mum!
I was very lucky to have a wonderful mum to instill confidence and a positive outlook in me, and I hope to do that for my boys (17 mo and 3 yo). I just try to be as calm, positive and encouraging as possible, both to them and people around us. I did laugh recently when 3yo Sam said “Oh I LOVE your scarf!” to the mum of one of his kindy friends.
Thanks for another wonderful post. I do love the ‘special occasion’ concept from Hallmark too – I’ll get onto my card writing!
PS. I can’t believe anyone would write nasty comments about you – obviously they were feeling insecure!
MrsConos says
I love the message of your blog and this post specifically. You have helped me become a much more positive person and it has radiated throughout my life. I love writing my son letters on his monthly birthday. It helps keep me positive. http://www.mrsconos.blogspot.com
I actually posted about you and your blog last month!
Jennie says
happiness. your posts bring happiness. I promote politeness in my girls. please, thankyou, excuse me, sorry, none of which can be overused. Also, I try and create opportunities for my daughters to succeed in kindness. If that means picking egg shells out of the cookies she bakes to give to others then okay I will clean up messes. I would rather work harder and allow her to learn what it means to give, to be kind, to be a friend, to be compassionate then me have a cleaner kitchen or save a few extra minutes on a task.
nuttymom says
Oh thank you for this post. I am dealing with my own adult neighborhood mean girl right now, and I let it bring me down/hurt my feelings/crush my spirit for too long. Giving my inner 8 year old a hug and putting on my big girl pants now. Screw you mean lady! 🙂 My biggest excitement for next week is being able to volunteer at the food bank with my oldest daughter. I always loved to do stuff like that before kids, and now am so happy to be able to share it with them.
Christy Marshall says
i referenced your hallmark blog, twice. you inspired and encouraged me to keep doing my thing. http://pausebuttonplease.blogspot.com/2011/08/praise.html
Christine Jenkins says
My husband and I work very hard to instill confidence in our three children. One thing that is important is to make them feel smart and intelligent. Our older son (12) has very large dreams and plans for himself when he grows up. He has his life “mapped out” in front of him. For my husband and myself we never tell him he can’t do it. We act and talk as if everything he wants to do and become will happen. It’s a “fact” in our household. This has instilled confidence in his abilities, thus instilling confidence in himself. I homeschool our children and as we learn things in school together we talk about how it can apply to his grand vision for his life. I want him to look back on his life and say “My parents always believed in me. They never told me it couldn’t be done.” So, we dream their dreams with them, encourage them to be all that they can be, teach them to hold those dreams close to their hearts, and never say “I can’t.”
Daily Tales of Sugar and Spice says
kelle.
i am a mom of two girls like you. just read your nella birth story only a month ago and cried my eyes out. was humbled and moved. you are an amazing writer and mom. thanks for your perspective and the way you bring the joy of motherhood to the forefront. you make me want to play more and loosen up.
on this topic – oh it’s so vital with precious girls. i try to encourage them always – but when i put them to bed, i ask “what made you happy today? and what made you sad?” normally gets some good stuff out of their hearts. then, they want me to answer – and that gives me a fun chance to uniquely build them up. or correct something that didn’t go so good.
thanks so much for you who you are and sharing with all of us.
Amy Parris says
I have four kids, three of them are boys. It seems most days that 90% of what I do is correct them. I know this is my job and it’s
good for them, but at times it gets totally overwhelming.
Last year my husband and I decided to try a new angle (we still correct, don’t get me wrong). We try to catch them doing something good and praise them for it…every…single…time.
“What a great response!” “Thank you for your help today.” “Look how nice your brother did making his bed.” “I love you!”
My other very favorite thing we do is on birthdays. We never roast anyone. Instead, every birthday, after the cake and presents, we honor the birthday boy or girl (or mom or dad). Everyone takes a turn talking about all the things we love and admire about the person of honor. I think it’s the best gift we give them.
Laura says
Thank you for taking the subject of confidence and giving me a whole new understanding. More than just having tough skin. More like giving the gift of confidence to others, which in turn boosts our own. WOW. Profound. Loved this post so much. 🙂
Stunningly Sweet says
Kelle, I love how you sew thoughts together in such a profound way! I’ve never met you, but I know you are a good person and a fabulous mama! Sometimes I feel as if you echo my thoughts..only you are able to spit them out much more eloquently!
Stephanie says
LOVE the red-shoed, red/white striped girlies! adorable!
to answer you question, every day i tell my 6 year old son, “you’re my MOST favorite boy in the whole wide world.” and, he is.
i tell my four year old daughter, “you’re my MOST favorite little girl in the whole wide world.” and, she is.
even if they’ve been horribly naughty that day, i say it. and, i MEAN it. they are loved, appreciated, and wanted…and i need for them to KNOW that, every.single.day.
i have promised myself (and them) that i will continue to tell them these things every day for the rest of their lives. especially through those rough tween/teenage years…most especially then. THOSE are the years that i think about everyday when i say these things.
J9 says
confession – I log in to your blog sometimes just to listen to the music. You always have such a great and varied selection! haha! I do read it too, though.
Lauren says
Great post, Kelle! While I don’t have kids of my own, I am lucky that I work with 12 kids/teens with special needs, ages 10-20. Over time, I’ve learned that the things that seem to build their confidence the most are the things they do for themselves as they learn and grow. So many people in their lives do things for them because it’s faster or easier, but I’ve found that when they are pushed to do it for themselves, their confidence blossoms. It’s one of the most rewarding parts of my job–I love it!
Delhibound says
This :: “I started leaving anonymous comments to random people—“Your family is beautiful,” “You are an insightful writer,” “Your story made me laugh”—and it was, ironically, so very empowering. ”
is wonderful. I have taken to doing that too … it takes NO time at all and it IS uplifting for ME!
So is sticking some cards in the mail that just say “you make me smile” or random emails with pics of me sticking my tongue out …
it IS the little things that instill confidence in others …
BUT I needed the reminder about my KIDS. Sometimes I forget that my job is more than just pouring cereal, scheduling appointments for school shots and brushing their teeth for them.
Thanks Kell!
Misty says
Kelle,
I love reading your blog. This is the first time I have posted a comment. I truly enjoy checking to see what new adventures you have been up to with the girls and your family. I am a special education teacher and Nella’s birthstory is what first brought me to the blog. It has been a joy to watch her development. Her smile is beautiful. And the way she looks at Lainey is just magical…pure sisterly love.
I agree that the world is full of good people and good things. It is trying to teach our children how to deal with the fewer instances of bad people and bad things that is the most difficult part of parenting.
Rebekah says
I loved this. A very good reminder, as I don’t always praise the children I nanny enough. I want to enstill them with confidence. I love seeing the joy on their face when I just say “Good job.” I want to see countless more of those expressions as I find unique ways to praise them. As always, Thanks for sharing!
Grace says
I don’t know who would want to leave you a nasty comment ever. All I see on your blog is love for your kids, family and life. Your blog brings smiles everytime I read it (even your super sad, sweet & touching entry about Nella’s birth–the first one that I read and I have been hooked every since!). Keep it up 🙂
Sascha says
i thought this article went well with your post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html
Minimalist Mommi says
Tricky subject. Tricky indeed. We are trying to figure that one out over here. We have a child who adores pink. That wouldn’t be so much of a problem if he was a she. But, here he is, 3 years old and wearing a pink shirt, pink flip flops, pink belt, homemade elephant necklace, and a ponytail (to be like mommi). I love his admiration for a color. But everyone else? Not so much. I know it will get harder when he starts school next week. We just hope that we have instilled enough confidence and word weaponry to get him through all the times people say, “Pink is for girls!” The sad part is, the adults are the worse in this matter 🙁
amber says
this needs to be printed and passed out at the door of schools, and churches, and shopping malls! maybe even put on a few billboards~
yesYES. be the change you want in others. so true. so wise.
you’re an inspiration, kelle. xo
Ambra says
I love this post because it reminded me of how I felt when I first realized my oldest was growing up and would soon enter a world where not everyone would have wonderful things to say to him or about him. I have learned that you can give your kids confidence by teaching them how to do things on their own. Little things and big things, like how to make pancakes, how to swim, how to choose good books, how to read a map…The list could go on forever, but I love watching my children’s confidence grow as they learn. I have tried hard to teach them not to be afraid of trying new things and making mistakes. I had a wonderful time today watching my son with Down syndrome learn to hop along with the Lazy River at the pool. The change in his countenance was awesome to watch! The confidence shone from his face!
Jane says
Thank you for sharing your beautiful family with us. I agree with you when you said. “They no doubt will know they are loved, they are uniquely wonderful, they are talented and capable.” I think they will, because you are their Mum. Thank you.
Wendy says
I really loved this post. You are doing an awesome job of being a mum and I am sure your girls shine beautifully and brightly because of it. You are an inspiration.
genderist says
The pool back floating pic is great, a close tie to the chalk rainbow.
Gen Santanelli says
Reading your post last night, was like listening to the lyrics of an amazing song and you think to yourself how comforting it is to know that you are not alone, when a song writer can compose lyrics to what mirrors your life, thoughts or what is in your heart. I read your post and it is everything in my heart, mind and soul. I have two boys. One 17 year old who is an awesome kid who has charisma and a wondefully strong spirit! His smile alone makes my days… I also have an incredibly loving, sweet 8 year old son. He is incredibly shy and struggles with making friends. He has one of the warmest hearts I know. While i cheer my kids on as they grow, my youngest is constantly faced by the meanness in children out there. Calling him weird, because he’s more of an introvert than a social bug. Or ignoring him when he is so gently trying to start a friendship. It’s heart breaking! I will continue to empower my children with love, support and compassion for others. Thank you for this incredible post.
Katie says
You made me want my purple jelly shoes back… I have little boys, so the struggles are the same, the path to the end is just a little different! I wish more people would raise their kids with the ideas in this post and we’d have a very self-confident, happy generation!
Tiffani Talbott says
You always bring up such wonderful concepts that I find myself dwelling on hours or days later. I don’t have any children yet but I find myself still contemplating this dilemma: how to instill confidence, kindness, uniqueness… all while allowing them to explore and grow on their own. I already feel the ach that I won’t be able to protect them from everything so I want to be them the best ‘bumper pads’ for life. Which brings me to my newest project in confidence, me. How can I give my children something I don’t have? I put on a good bravado, but deep down, I often feel inadequate. Since logically I know I’m a perfect me, I’m trying to retrain my brain to be kinder to myself. Compliment myself. Forgive myself. Tell myself it’s ok that I have my own way of doing things.
But thank you for bringing up the output concept. It is so true, treat others the way you want to be treated. My August challenge will be to leave a daily note to someone I care about, letting them know why they are loved and special. Thank you for your words and may you and your family have a wonderful day!
Shea Family says
amazing post. I read your blog religiously because you are simply inspiring. Everytime I leave your page I have a more positive outlook. i have three little kids, two of them being girls, and just had this conversation with my mom the other day… about how instilling confidence is just so important these days. I live in Michigan and vacation in Bonita Springs about 4 times a year. I always enjoy seeing all those places I know and love on your blog! You are an inspiring person, mother, wife, etc… and of course an amazing writer. Oh and an amazing photographer! Thank you for giving me something to look forward to every day in your posts 🙂
Lia says
Every mama needs to read this post.
Just yesterday during our morning sunggle I asked my little one “what makes you special?” “I’m good at helping you” she said. “Yes, you are a very helpful person.”
I love to hear the good qualities they identify within themselves, then I just reinforce it.
Crazy! says
I love this post! Your blog is so inspiring and your children are adorable! I hope to teach my children to be confident!
The O'Bannon's says
Kelle… PLEASE tell us where you got that sweet ‘little peanut’ onsie Nella’s wearing!!
*Hugs*
Aleyta says
I actually just read an article on how to talk to young girls, and she said she asks them about things other than their looks, so instead of telling a girl you like their hair or how pretty they look, you may ask what books their mom is reading to them or where they went on summer vacation…try to bring it away from looks. I thought it was great! Anyway, we cheer our daughter on for everything she does, especially when she does something with kindness, (sharing, etc) You can almost SEE the proud look on their faces. It’s amazing.
Chief Coffey says
Let’s march through the streets. I’m ready :).
The Hartsfield Family says
Great post, Kelle! This encompasses so much of what I think about on a daily basis. And you’re right, it is an intimidating topic!
Given Chloe is 7 but developmentally more like 3 — praise, hugs, and high fives are a constant in our house. 🙂 We are her biggest cheerleaders!
I’m a trained counselor, so as she gets older, I think I will secretly find pleasure in letting that part of me shine — talking to her about friendships, our own feelings and how to recognize others, and how to be the person that spreads goodness. All those good, more in depth things. The things that yes, intimidate us, but the important things that will shape her into the life-changer-adult I know she’ll be.
You know what I’m finding though, Kelle? The real teacher in our house is HER. She teaches me more about life, more about what’s *really* important, about patience, and about what that real-life-goodness-stuff really looks like. It comes in the form of hugs, smiles, and accepting others…just as they are. Accepting myself — just as I am.
She makes me one thankful Mama. And you know what else? She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. 🙂
A Box of Crayons says
Nella-you go girl!
Lainey- I love your style! So cute and original.
Confidence- I like to give my kids opportunities to do things on their own…to be creative, to accomplish tasks etc… That gives them confidence and pride, my praise or acknowledgement is just the icing. They have to create the cake. It is not easy. If I praise about something they didn’t earn or deserve then they see right through me. When do we march?
Greta Springett says
Hi Kelle,
I never miss a post. I’m not a mom. I may never be a mom. I love kids. I have nieces. I was a nanny for a while. I teach swimming. And, 99.9999% of the time I love everything you write about.
I only hedge on a portion of what I got from your post. I worry greatly that “kids these days” (how I hate that term) only hear praise. Later in life – and especially in work, getting praise is kinda rare. Leaving the nest and abruptly finding that out could be a big stumbling block. What are your thoughts on that? I mean, I’m guessing you can never love your kids TOO much, right – but can we compliment them too much? It’s better than putting them down, I guess.
A for instance: A child in my swimming class is really not into it. She just doesn’t try despite many different approaches with her. And, you see the other kids in the class doing FAR better – not because they are innately better swimmers. The little girl gets out of the pool at the end of the lesson and her mother tells her what a great job she did. Really? Did she? What message does this send to that young girl?
Just curious about your thoughts. And, thank you so much for sharing your life and your perspectives with people like me. You make me think and you make me smile. It’s really nice.
The Book Sylph says
I think it’s so important to teach my daughter kindness. I think kindness and compassion need to be emphasized so much that when she encounters unkind people, as she inevitably will, she can see their struggle and take comfort in knowing that whatever they are lacking or searching for that is being presented as unkind actions, she is not. She will hopefully know she is loved, supported and doesn’t need whatever those people seem to need.
Goobian says
I just started trying to conceive my first child and so I have been thinking about upbringing lately. I think it’s not about complimenting them really, it’s about teaching them that other people’s words don’t affect them unless you choose to let it. If someone says your ugly for example, you have a choice to think that and accept that as your truth, or believe your beautiful and let it bounce off you. The old tried and true, I am rubber you are glue lol.
You are in control of your own emotions, not others. You can choose to be happy everyday and life is wonderful if that is what you choose. And there will always be others testing you and that is just a part of life. If someone calls you ugly, deep down inside they think you are pretty they are just jealous and are trying to bring you down to their level to feel happy. If you think about it that way, that person is just sad and deserves pity.
Sondra says
Your article today reminded me of this from Huffington Post;
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html?ref=fb&src=sp#sb=2026695,b=facebook
Really gives some food for thought.
Thanks for the great blog.
Always on the clock says
I worry about my little one’s confidence a lot. I suppose that’s because growing up my parents didn’t focus on confidence building. I often felt, left out, ugly and not very special.
It is my life mission to raise a confident, capable and conscientious woman. She’s two. Of course I tell her that she’s smart and pretty and funny all the time. But I find the funest compliments are for creativity. Like she arranged two plastic farm animals in her strappy sandals. It was so creative. It was a zoo shoe! So she got a high five.
The best part of all is that now she gives other people high fives when she thinks they did something fun or good. She tells people they are beautiful and that they did a good job.
Who knew the act of instilling confidence was contatious?
Jana says
After a tough morning of me losing it with my kids then bringing myself back to the planet and apologizing to them and telling them mom was having a really bad morning…I needed this. Thanks for writing about this. I am trying really hard to do these things with my kids, and often I feel like I am failing miserably. Your post is just another push to keep me going on a day where I feel like I should just go back to bed.
Jordan says
You inspire me. Your words. Your pictures. Your love.
Thank-you.
Sprouts Mommy and Daddy says
beautiful – i have shared on my fb page. you are and always will be awe-inspiring. thank you.
jennyfreckles says
Kelle, I’m old enough to be your mum (probably!) and I marvel not only at the way you are able so eloquently to express your thoughts but at the wisdom you have. Being a mum is so hard sometimes but you’re clearly doing a fantastic job. Every post you write is worth reading; I always feel uplifted by your words and photos. I especially love the first pic today of Nella – what a cute expression you caught there!
Emma Krueger says
INCREDIBLE post! Everything you said is so true and important when raising children. I have one daughter and a baby on the way (gender unknown)! And I think all the time about what Kennedy will face when she gets older. But I try my hardest to make her feel loved, special, and beautiul every day. She is only two but if I keep “depositing” those affirmations her whole life she will have alot to bank on by the time she reaches the Facebook stage. Lord help us all!!!!! Thanks for sharing such a beautiful post. Your girls are precious!
The L's says
Powerful…thank you.
The Dugan's says
Kelle, Your blog is so refreshing to me. It takes me to a place of simplicity and helps me to remember to enjoy my kids!! Thanks for your realness and for sharing your life!!
janine says
I have 2 boys who are both totally awesome! I can’t help myself from pouring out the positive on them which means it must have been poured into me by my own parents. For that I am eternally grateful. It took all the willpower in the world though to tell my 8 year old how cool he looked when he paired his skinny jeans with a long sleeve white school shirt buttoned to the neck because he wanted to look like Bruno Mars! But his smile was worth it!! Love your blog, your photos, your philoshopy, your adorable girls 🙂
connaripplinger says
I just found your blog and I love it! The way you are living and teaching your girls to live is so perfect, so christ-like. You truely make me want to be better! Thank you so much for being such a beautiful person!
the handlers says
This post gave me the chills… so many things that I’ve thought about raising my girls, that I couldn’t really verbalize. Your girls are lucky to have you as their mom!!!! Thanks for giving so many of us words for our thoughts!
theenglishgirl says
Instilling confidence through laughter. When I see Gibson throw his head back in a full blown belly laugh, then I think just maybe we are on the right track.
Karen says
Loved this post! Right now I’m working on instilling confidence in my 5.5 year old son who – get this – doesn’t like the moles/freckles on his feet, so he wears socks constantly. So to affirm that his freckles are beautiful and a wonderful part of what makes him who he is, I tell him they are kisses from God, and every time he shows me a new freckle, I kiss it or “gobble” it and tell him how fantastic he is with all those darling freckles. Inevitebly he ends up giggling and hopefully one day will have enough confidence in his freckles to leave the house with flip flops 🙂
Nicole says
This post is well, wonderful. I mean, all of them are but this one, this exact one, I have read 3 times now. I have a 6 year old daughter and a 2 year old son. My son, full of confidence even at a young age. My little girl, not so much. It is something that I struggle to bring up. Your words were such powerful reminders of how each day, when we are tired, and worn out, and not wanting to deal with all that might await us when we get home from work, some things, that seem so small…well, aren’t. I don’t know quite how to word it but I will be bookmarking this post and reading for years to come. Thanks for that. It is a beautiful summary of what I want for my daughter.
Dara says
“Be the good”, I love it!!!
Tequilamama says
My oldest has Asperger’s, and he does march to the beat of his own marching band, (and it’s a rock band!) but we remind him, and our other two, that being different is everything. Differences make us special and fun and interesting. And we remind them each night at dinner to say something they are thankful for.
Jen says
Beautiful, powerful post. As a mom of three girls, this hits home…and my firstborn starts kindergarten in 19 days so I’m tamping down my worries on an hourly basis. Thanks for reminding me of the things I can control!
Jonny and Hana says
I’ve been following your blog for a little over a month now, and have always been intimidated to leave a comment because, let’s face it, you’re out there living life and chasing unicorns and snapping priceless photos of your breathtakingly gorgeous ladies, and probably have little time to read through every single comment. But I could help myself no longer. Nella is one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen. And Lainey makes me laugh in almost every photo. I feel as if I know your family; as if you all are MY family… living out of state that I only get to see once every couple years (Don’t worry – I don’t actually see you. Stalking is bad, right??). You are an encouragement to me as a new mom, and you inspire me to look past other people’s expectations of us. So what if we’re living in a humble one-bedroom apartment instead of a Pottery Barn decorated house. We’re living.
And now I’m afraid I’ve written a short story. One that is not so short.
Thank you for all you do.
Jill says
Oh, how I love this post. It is amazing the high you can get off of making someone’s day. I live in MA, where we are, ahem, not known for being the warm and fuzzy type. We’re crotchety New Englanders who don’t say hello to strangers, question people we don’t know who smile at us and don’t typically go out of our way to be welcoming or kind (of course this is a huge generalization and so not the case for millions of lovely MA folk, but I digress… I am always digressing.) Anyhoo, I used to find myself thinking complimentary thoughts about strangers (nice shoes! cute bag! love your smile!) but never said anything, fearing they would think I was insane. A couple years ago, I decided to embark on a random compliment experiment, where I would let the niceness flow when it hit me. It is amazing how people are affected by a simple compliment. I’ve never had someone react negatively. Ever. Surprised? Sure, but upset? Hardly. I like to think their day has been made a little brighter and have been told on more than one occasion that this is indeed the case. The biggest upside? I find my day a little brighter too.
All this is to say that it works on all ages. We were on vacation recently and my six year old stopped a mother and her toddler on the beach and told the woman, “your baby is cute and very smiley. You must be a good mommy.” I asked her what made her say that and she said, “I just thought it I thought she might want to know. People like hearing nice things.”
Thanks as always for the inspiring reminders of living your best life.
Karen90 says
You have got your priorities right girl! You give the input, but realize that the output is the most important part. When they learn that the bad things will bounce off easier.
The Berger Queen says
I absolutely adore your blog. And your girls. And because of you, I’ve finally worked up the nerve to make the appointment and go full on “bang”! I’ve been wanting to do it for a long time and it’s just hair right? 🙂
Emily Crail says
What a beautiful post, thank you! It’s funny that some days you just happen to read or see that one thing that was meant to be for you. Love it!
Jill says
I love what you do. You are making a difference and I think you’re amazing. Thank you.
Jo says
Wow, I love your blog! You articulate your thoughts so well and your lovely posts are always heart warming to read. You are a very inspiring lady!
Marianne says
My heart swells each time I think of my children, it’s filled with love, happiness and pride because of them. I tell them often how proud I am of them (they’re 21 & 23 now), and they laugh and ask why. And I tell them – I’m proud you have a great job, your own apartment, a sense of responsibility…that you are considerate towards other, that you thank me for a delicious dinner…I could go on and on, but you get the point. They fill me and I fill them, I can see it happen every time I tell them.
Karen says
I’ve always given my son “job lists” in the summer – daily chores that he’s expected to complete around the house before I get home from work, just as my mom did when I was a kid. Of course I heard complaints at times or felt like I was nagging. But let me tell you, this summer I am seeing the impact of my persistence and insistence as he is working his butt off at his very first summer job. A job well done = confidence!! Couldn’t be more proud of him.
mds says
i dont understand why people bother to leave mean comments – if they dont like you or your posts, they should chose something else to read! you have to feel kind of sad for people that take their time to put negative energy into things, because as a consequence, they will only receive negativity back themselves! i love your blog and all your photos! you are inspiring!
Stephanie says
Oh my goodness I could’ve written this post myself…excpet not nearly so eloquently. Seriously though, you took the words right out of my heart and put into a blog post. I want this for my children so badly, one of the most important traits I want my boys to have is to be good and kind to everyone they meet in life.
Michele says
This post inspired me to give some output! YOU are fabulous, Kelle and I don’t post here enough to tell you that. I admire you and love your honesty, your wit, your girls, your words, your photos, your style. Thanks so much for sharing with us!
Kelly Cach says
I can’t imagine anyone saying mean things to you 🙁 I know you’re supposed to kill people with kindness, but can I get in just one right hook first? HA!
Ways we boost our children’s self-esteem:
Quality time: We spend A LOT of time with them. My husband is their coach for every sport they play, and I am with them all day doing other activities: swimming, gardening, cooking, dancing, & watching movies, doing chores, etc.
Prayer: My husband prays with them EVERY night before bed—not only praising them, but praying for other people, too. My husband is a good example for our boys 🙂
Talking: I follow up the prayer time with this question: “Let’s talk about things.” A dark room seems to be the best way to get them to talk to me about more than just what’s for lunch—hahaha! Seriously though, it’s the sweetest part of our day.
Compliments: We are always telling them how good they are at so many different things. On a regular basis we hear our boys say, “I’m the best at ______.” Fill in the blank with just about anything, and they’ve more than likely said it! When Eli was in kindergarten, he made “I’m the best at…” comments so often, that his teacher told him not to say it anymore, because the other kids may have thought it was bragging. Really??? Instead of reprimanding him, I just complimented him again by saying, “I’m proud of your confidence, Buddy.” And he said, “Yeah, and I’m prolly the best at singing Opera, too.” Hahahaha!
****Have you ever heard the song “Beautiful for Me” by Nichole Nordeman (sp?). Such a sweet song for girls 🙂
This was such a sweet post—Lainey floating and Nella hugging made me tear up. I love those kind of tears. Thanks 🙂
Kelly
angelina says
It’s a great reminder for me. Sometimes I get so focused on trying to shape my son into a mature and responsible young man that I forget to nurture his spirit.
agrocks says
Just have to say, I feel these very things when I think of my wee one heading out into the world. There is so much ugliness and it seems fewer people working proactively to mitigate it. It seems like folks want to remain on the sidelines, refusing to get involved. It breaks my heart! For every child getting picked on, there is a family who thinks they are the bee’s knees! Everyone needs to know how to battle the evil and send out the good. I pray my wee one never becomes the target or the one who targets.
So many times, I hear, “Your little girl is adorable! I love her smiling eyes! I love her smile! She is always dressed so cute!” While it is nice to hear such compliments, they are, to me, meaningless. My reply is always, “Thank you! I just hope she grows up to be kindhearted.” I try to base my feedback to her on the things she does (ie. treats the dog nicely, says “thank you”, pats her loved ones on the shoulder, figures out how to solve a problem, chooses to read her books rather than turning to the television, sits nicely in church, etc…). Such things are more meaningful and are based on something more lasting than a great pair of shoes or pretty hair.
Thanks for sharing your sweet thoughts with the world. You go, girl!
Jen says
This was a good reminder to big girls (not just for those raising kiddos!) who are trying to constantly better themselves — that remembering to compliment and praise my friends, my family, and even strangers. It makes everyone feel good and smile inside and out. I was walking to the bank last week and a girl I passed by told me I had beautiful eyes. I think I smiled bigger the entire rest of the week, a random unsolicited compliment, such a uplifting thing for the soul. I need to do this more for others. Thank you for the reminder. 🙂
a few of my favorite things says
love this post – and i shared:) great message (and as always, beautiful pics of your sweet girls!)
Cathy says
The only negative emotion I get from your posts is the fact that I wish I could have a “do-over” with my own kids. I wasn’t a bad mom by any stretch of the imagination, but I could have been so much better. Thanks for the inspiration you give to us all.
Jay says
Just have to pop in and say that those girls ate growing up far too fast! It’s bizarre how much I anticipate hearing about their days, as if I know them. And yours of course!
Janel G. says
Love your post – love your blog. My husband & I have been talking a lot about this topic. We have 2 little girls (2 & 6mo). The Atlantic had a great article “How to Land Your Kid in Therapy” – some of the things it made me think about was how important it is to build up kids, but to also let them fail. To let them gain confidence not just from me, but from themselves. If their confidence is wrapped up in my praise or making ‘mommy’ happy – then there is a danger that they become too fragile and cannot handle making decisions or mistakes without a major let down. I am not sure how you do this, but I’m working on it!
Kaisa says
I tell my babies every day how wonderful they are, but I try to stay away from saying things like cute and funny and be more specific telling them the qualities I love in them. I love their creativity, big brother’s gentleness, little brother’s adoring of everything, the way big brother makes new friends, the way they see the endless possibilities in the world…
I had a conversation with a friend of mine just the other day discussing how we wish all children could view each other through grown up eyes and see how absolutely wonderful and unique and fabulous they all are and just embrace that in each other instead of uniqueness becoming a negative trait.
Once again, your posts bring tears to my eyes. Your girls are beautiful and your words are inspiring.
Cheers!
letters2daniel says
Oh my goodness Kelle! Nella looks so grown up in the bib pictures it almost makes me sad 🙁 I just lover her an following the girls on here. I brag about you guys to everyone. Have a safe/fun trip, can’t wait to see the pictures 😉
letters2daniel says
whoops forgot the ‘D’ in ‘and’.
Prender says
My Mom still has the magnet on her fridge that we all grew up with..”Have you hugged your kid today?”
😉
ward says
You inspire me. You make me want to be a better mom. You remind me to not only appreciate the little things but to also verbalize my appreciation.
The Great Angini says
Thanks again for the reminder that if we reflect what we would like to become soon we will be the light that others are reflecting:)
Fuller Family says
My daughter is about to head into first grade. Who knew that at the age of six, Mean Girls would be around? There are a couple of girls that are mean & gossip, even in kindergarten! It’s crazy. I have told my daughter to not be one of those mean girls – to like everyone (yep, even the mean ones), & to never gossip about others. She understands that it isn’t nice & that people do not like those girls, but sometimes, when you leave them at school, you wonder if the Mean Girls influence them or if they really do stand their ground & be someone you can be proud of. It is such a difficult thing – but the only thing I can do is to keep on instilling in her to be the likeable girl, the one that doesn’t talk bad about others, & that is friendly with everyone, with a smile on her face. And, to be that girl myself. Because if I’m a Mean Girl, then I have no right to think my daughter wouldn’t be! They learn from us, right?
Lori says
Being a foster parent, it is vitally important to encourage our children; whether they are biological or borrowed. 🙂 We always look for the good in all of our children and instill independence in each of them. The one thing we did with all of our children is raise them with the idea that God did not put us on this earth to be served…but to serve others. This has created many children with servants’ hearts. I also pass that message to many of our students in the high school that I work in.
Your children are absolutely astounding! I am in awe of how you have embraced motherhood with grace and unending love for both of your girls, as well as your “shared” sons. 🙂
Abby and Promila says
You always warm my heart. It actually pangs my gut to know that someone said something hurtful to you, but please know that your words are appreciated and loved. My best friend and I love to catch up on “What Kelle Said” — and since we now live states apart, *you* being a part of our daily interaction is a big deal.
Your family is beautiful, and so are y’all’s hearts!
Boy Mom says
I love to read your blogs because it reminds me of those wonderful moms out there like my mom. She at one point apologized for not teaching me to cook and my response was you taught me how to be an independent woman and I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world. I hope I am as loving and supportive as my mom was and as you seem to be to your girls!
Jenny says
Let me start by saying I get so refreshed, validated, and happy by reading your blog. My son was born with spina bifida and is beautiful, smart, sweet, loves his big sister… Pretty much spina bifida is the least important thing about our life. We were given this and we are ROCKIN’ it! I too know how mean comments cut deep! I once had a lady ask me if my son would “ever be…you know..normal!” I said, “You mean normal like you?? I hope not!” We teach my son and his big sister that everyone is different and we embrace that no matter what. God fearfully and wonderfully made my son to be him, perfect!
Kathy says
I love that my girl is about the same age as Nella. I look at Nella’s picture and some of the looks she gives are so familiar to me because I see them on my Zephra’s face all of the time. I wish they could be friends!
Anyway, thanks so much for sharing your life with us. I have learned so much from you already. Your approach to life is worthy of imitation.
Williams' Family says
Every night, when I’m putting my kids to bed, I tell them specifically how special they are. I say things like “you are a smart, funny and sweet boy.” “you make people feel happy just by talking to them” “you are such a sweet big sister.” Every night I tell them.