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I gave myself one year. I’d move to Florida and be away from my family for one year, and things would click. Best case scenario, I’d gain a year of teaching under my belt, spend weekends at the beach, eventually meet some hunk of a man, and he would insist on moving back to the great Midwest where we would raise babies near my family. Years later, in conversation, I’d casually drop mention of that great year I spent in Florida as if it was a badge of honor—like a semester at sea or a hiking expedition in India. That’s how it was supposed to happen.
But it didn’t. It surprises me today just as much as it surprised me then—watching the proverbial dreams for my adult life settle and grow where the long stretch of five states separates me from the heart of who I am—my family. I never thought I’d be that girl—the far away one whose kids don’t understand the concept of cousin sleepovers every other weekend. And yet, while sometimes I feel the throbbing pain of what I am missing—especially this time of year—I am happy.
This is home.
The first year, I jetted home come November. Spending a Thanksgiving away from Michigan and family was an oxymoron. I defined Thanksgiving by my mom’s cranberry jello—the one with the salty pretzel crust—by my sister’s pumpkin rolls and my brother’s laughter and the way the girls clean up in the kitchen when dinner’s over. And it certainly wasn’t Thanksgiving without the Doxology, sung after prayer, its harmony beautifully split into four parts with the very first “whom all blessing flow.” I couldn’t imagine it feeling like a holiday without these things.
But eventually I got married—to a man whose love for Florida runs a close second to his love for me. By the time we welcomed Lainey, it had been decided together that, for the sake of the boys and travel expenses and the importance of beginning our own family traditions, we would watch the parade from our own living room. We’d spend our Thanksgiving at the very bottom of the five-state stretch that separates me from the Novembers of my past.
That first one? I’ll be honest, it was hard. I cried when I hung up the phone with my sister, after hearing in the background all the things I missed. I wanted cousin memories for Lainey. I wanted my mom’s cherry pie. I wanted to be home.
You can mope, though, or you can take charge. And if becoming a mama gives you anything (okay, lots of things), it’s empowerment. Somewhere between my tears and my counterproductive game of imagining just what we’d be doing at that very moment had we been in Michigan, I realized I could create my own reality.
You know a fancy word for mother? Matriach. Throw “Holiday” before it, and you’re practically the Godfather. I was now the Holiday Matriarch (leave the gun, take the cannoli), and I would own it. My family’s Thanksgiving memories were no longer guaranteed by the Doxology and the jello with the pretzel crust but rather, they depended on my own efforts of creating magic.
If you don’t have family near you, find one. (Pick one up at the corner store, would ‘ya? ) While living hundreds of miles from true blood family has its obstacles, it comes with the blessing of recognizing and appreciating friends who become family—not to mention, the challenge of going the extra mile to make meaningful traditions for your kids.
Enter Matt and Dede, separated from us by merely a street width. They started as neighbors, grew into acquaintances, graduated to good friends and now, five Thanksgiving breakfast traditions and countless good times under our belts…they are family. Holiday Matriarch sees to it that we take advantage of that, especially during the holidays.
Next Thursday, we’ll slip out of bed, skipping coffee and showers and heading straight across the street for breakfast. We’ll comment on each others’ pajamas (we go for festive) and confusingly recall just how many years now we’ve been doing this. There will be bacon and blueberry pancakes and a lavish table spread with pretty dishes. And my kids will be hugged and kissed and pampered by Uncle Matt, Aunt Dede and Cousin Alec, who lets Lainey boss him around and never complains.
Later, we’ll head home where dinner preparations will commence and every so often, I’ll look at my kids—taking it all in—and I’ll wonder just how they’ll remember this. I will call home and smile as my brother recounts the Michigan scene, and I will wish for a moment we were there. When I feel sad, I will also feel empowered—to do something about it. Create your own reality. Mom’s cherry pie. The good dishes. Place cards with hand-written names. A beautiful grace before dinner. Toasts with kid wine. Toasts with real wine.
This is home, and I am the Holiday Matriarch.
My friend Elizabeth e-mailed me something tonight—just as I was finishing this post—and it seems profoundly fitting:
“Quality of Life…it’s what we all are working on, right? Every day. It’s all about bucket lists, too, although we call it being intentional.”
And I guess if I had to choose something out of all of this to get cross-stitched on a pillow it would be just that. Whether you have family close by or far away, whether you’re blessed with children or not, whether the coming holidays bring you joy or uneasiness, you can create your own reality by being intentional. Invest time in friends, create new traditions, make efforts to carve memories your children won’t soon forget. And though it might not be a semester at sea or a hiking expedition in India, being intentional will most definitely be a badge of honor, the most notable one for sure.
How will you make your holidays intentional this year? Hallmark and I would love to know how you embrace your title of Holiday Matriarch (or patriarch–ha!). Any meaningful traditions or stories? Please share!
KendraJane says
Oh Kelle…is it true? Do I get to be the first commenter????? We plan to make the Holiday’s Intentional by turning off the TV, our phones, the computer and spending more time TOGETHER!
Sandra says
ahhh second comment yessss!!! Spending time away from family is tough, but I can’t wait to make it the best Christmas yet, with my sweet baby girl (who’ll be 18 months) and our little Christmas girl (due Christmas week!)! I’m intentionally going to have my hubs set up Christmas stuff ASAP so it’ll be ready for the baby!
Mangotatoes says
oh you’re making me so excited for thanksgiving! I’m spending it with my bf family and they always go all out ;]
mango
mangotatoes.blogspot.com
Kate as of Late says
I know the feeling, my family has always spent holidays in GA, and this year we will not. We will make new memories though with just my parents and I and I know it will be wonderful. I love your Hallmark posts!
<3 <3
Trina a.k.a. Me So Hongry... says
Every year during the week of Thanksgiving break, my boys and I look at Christmas lights in the same neighborhood and after we enjoy treats at Starbucks. As we ride and look its tradition that we play Vince Guaraldi’s Charlie Brown’s Christmas. My 18 year old asked the other day if we are going to look at X-mas lights. I think he enjoys the treats more than the light…lol. More often than not my boys indulge me b/c they know how excited I am about this little tradition.
We also bake cookies, make cocoa, and watch the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving cartoon. We follow up the cartoon with board games!!!
hayley.jay says
This is a beautiful post, and one that is very fitting to how I’m feeling now. I missed the holidays last year because I was on my great adventure: a year in Germany as an Au Pair. I missed my family like crazy, and my mom came to visit for Christmas, which was such a blessing, but it still left me craving America. This year is our last holiday season in this house, as we are all grown kiddos. I’m not sure where I’ll be next year, somewhere with family in California, or back in Germany with my boyfriend? I’ve been thinking about what will happen during the holidays while I’m living in Germany…obviously I will set my own traditions and friends will become family! Thanks for sharing this wisdom 🙂 Guess I better learn how to make Thanksgiving dinner!
Lynda Halliger-Otvos says
With our children long gone and making families and traditions of their own, Ormond and I will awaken slowly, turn on the Parade from Macy’s and enjoy the smells of chicken baking and cookies too.
Melissa says
I know exactly where you are coming from. I have been away from home for 4 years now. However, for most of the holidays since we have been away (they are in FL and TN and we are all the way across the country in WA) we have been invited in by friends who have turned into family. However, this year we will celebrate Thanksgiving with FAMILY! They are 3 hours away now and we are making a 3 day trip of it. I can’t wait for my daughter to know what Thanksgiving is like with family, cousins, aunts and uncles. It’s going to be good.
tiff says
i too am a good ‘ol Midwestern girl from Iowa… but now am serving as a missionary in Mexico. this thanksgiving will be the first away from my lovely family. thank you for inspiring me to make the best out of what i have.
i thoroughly enjoy your blog. thanks for all the encouragement.
megatron! says
I’m so glad to see an update tonight. I NEEDED it this evening. <3
This is our second Christmas with our first born girl and I’m excited to see the traditions being made and celebrating new ones. She will know more of what’s going on this year and I can’t wait to see her tearing open presents.
We moved and won’t be having snow this year – so that will definitely be a change. But, like you – I’m going all out with decorations and special girly Christmas outfits and bows. Because even though it feels like summer outside, I want my girl to remember its time for cozying up INSIDE, in pajamas, with family.
Kel says
Well, we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here in Australia – but I understand what you mean by not thinking you would be the one so far away from family.
I am an only child (hubby is 4 of 4), and I thought I would marry, settle and stay in South Australia forever. But I ended up moving to the other side of the country with my, then, boyfriend (now hubby).
A wedding and a baby later we’re still here. My parents and hubby’s parents have moved to the Northern Territory to be closer to us – but making phone calls to family ‘back home’ at Christmas can sometimes be sad and I feel like our daughter is missing out on her cousins, aunts and uncles and our endless extended family.
But we have learnt to make our own traditions, and to be honest I have learnt to enjoy a quiet and close Christmas, rather than the loud, massive Christmases of my childhood.
Most importantly, I have learnt that it’s not about who’s not there, it’s about who IS there. And I am grateful for each one of them 🙂
Happy Thanksgiving!
FEAS613 says
I needed this post as my first holiday away from Connecticut looms just around the corner. I’m nervous and sad – thinking of who’ll fill my seat between my Aunt Patty and my cousin Amanda at my Nan and Pop’s table where I have sat every Thanksgiving that I can remember. I wonder if someone will freeze a portion of Nan’s stuffing for me to enjoy at Christmas. But my sister and her family will be visiting Tampa so I will not be completely alone – but it will be so strange for us to be together and not playing the constant game of musical chairs (or musical-spot on the floor) in my Nan’s little living room, to not sit by a fire place – to need the warmth of a fire place… It’ll be good, I’m sure. A family of sorts, not quite picked up from the corner market but not quite “say something nice about the person across from you” that always turns into a sarcastic, funny remark instead of something genuine (that’s just how my family rolls). It’ll be good – different but good!
Thanks for this!!!
~Beth
H says
Starting new traditions with my daughter…hand print painted turkeysand hand print snowmen ornaments to send to the grandparents…even though with a two year old it was a serious challenge…its such a joy when they receive them in the mail…I love the holidays and I love traditions,,,bring it on! We are soooo going there!
theoregontail says
My breath caught as I read the opening to this post. It seemed every word you wrote could have been a page out of my book. Last year, we moved from Virginia to Oregon. We spent Thanksgiving as a family of 3 for the first time. I remember Skyping my family and feeling so homesick. We went ahead and made a big, traditional dinner anyway. This year we are excited to have friends, like the ones you speak of, to share our Thanksgiving. Thank you for the reminder that it is often up to us to stake our claim on the happy life we deserve. Life is different and I miss my family something terrible, especially at this time of year, but we are thrilled to be in a position to have a full table this year, in more ways than one.
Amba @ Team Mummy says
We are from Australia, so don’t have Thanksgiving here. I agree though, family is what you make it and I think its awesome that you are creating those types of loving family/friend based memories for Lainey and Nella.
Have a wonderful time ! 🙂 x
Kelly Leuck says
This made m teary. I can totally relate. We are a military family so being away from home is part of the life. This is the first thanksgiving in six years that we will be able to spend with the extended family, and for that I am the most thankful. Have a wonderful thanksgiving.
Amanda says
My husband and I have been married for almost three years and starting with Thanksgiving this is the third set of holidays we’ll be spending together. So far we’ve just done stuff with our parents already built traditions but starting in May (oh, the happiness!) we’ll be needing to make our own holidays and special traditions with our sweet new baby. Your post had me tearing up a bit, thinking of the fun of that responsibility. Such a blessing!
Kelly Cach says
Every year now for the last 12 years, we’ve gone out into the woods the Saturday after Thanksgiving to find our Christmas trees. We first meet a group at Starbucks, drive about 2 hours caravaning with 4 or 5 other families, then traipse through feet of snow to cut down our perfect pine. Also, the boys now each pick out their own Charlie Brown tree to be decorated with their special ornaments. On the way there, we listen to an old radio program called The Cinnamon Bear (1930’s….now available on CD 😉 You’re supposed to listen to an episode a night from Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve. And on the way home, the crew stops at The Helmer Cafe’ for an extremely greasy burger, toe warming by the wood stove, and trinket purchasing at the dusty souvenir shop!
Sorry for the novel, but this is TRULY my favorite tradition! And it’s happening NEXT WEEK! Yahoooo!
As always, thanks for asking—for wanting to hear from your readers. I love your Thanksgiving breakfast tradition! Let us know what you’re having 🙂
Here’s to making memories,
Kelly
Mrs Mason says
A great post Kelle. I am about to leave the UK for Australia – I match your five states and raise them five continents – and I’ve been telling myself (and most importantly my Dad) “oh two years, four tops, and we’ll be back”. But I wonder if we will. Whatever is meant to be is meant to be. We will make it work. Have a fab Thanksgiving.
xx
The Bosmas says
I really loved this post. I am also from Michigan, and while my heart will be there this Thanksgiving, I will physically be in Japan where the Navy has called my husband, daughter and I to live. We definitely are being intentional to make this year just as special as the other years when we would spend holidays back in the midwest with our families. It’s all about the perspective, right?
Happy Thanksgiving from a fellow Michiganer! 🙂
j210209 says
I’m in England so we don’t have thanksgiving here but I am so excited for Christmas! I can’t wait until my 2 year old understands “traditions”. I started certain things when he was born and will carry them on every year.. Silly things like when we decorate the tree we also make cookies… Brand new PJ’s for Christmas Eve… Eggy bread for breakfast on Christmas morning.. Like I said, silly little things but they make good memories!
Enjoy your thanksgiving!!! xx
Jamie Severt says
Great post. I, too, am away from family while my hubby serves overseas. It’s killing me to be away and to be away in a foreign country is crazy in its own way. But, I have 2 girls, 10 and 6 and I need to make memories for them. I am waiting for the days they say “remember our Christmases in Germany?” with a smile on their face.
Julie says
This post reminds me of this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Intentional-Family-Simple-Rituals-Strengthen/dp/038073205X
It is the one parenting book I remember most from my years raising two boys (it says it was originally published in ’97, which means my boys would have already been teens, but I recall it having such an influence, I thought I owned it long before!) It made me realize that their are as many ways for families to be intentional, as their are families; the important thing is to find those ways. For us, it meant that we had far more deep conversations in the car than we ever did around the table, but what was important was that we had them. I am so aware now, of how sacred those moments were.
Μαζί... KaPa says
So sweet…the years go by so fast!!! Greeding and health and happy smiles to all of you!!
Christa says
The are so many ways to make your story a good one. Mine is the opposite of yours— MT girl who planned to be at least 5 states away when I started my life & who is now raising 4, 4th generation Montana kids a few feet from where I grew up. While each year I discover how much more I love our traditions (so many around since before I was even born) I’ve been telling a few of my friends lately who don’t have that, who have started new lives in places far from family or who don’t really have extended family at all how important and exciting and amazing it is to be the beginning of something. Three generations from now their great grandkids may be carrying on the same traditions they’re just starting, dozens of family members may call these new places home because that’s exactly what they are creating now.
Claire says
Shucks girl, you made me cry! we can never get home for Christmas either, but are making our own little traditions 🙂
Cxx
Anna Lou says
Being Aussie’s, our christmases are always intentionally centred around all things summer! Essentially its about making a christmas to talk about at future christmases when our boys are grown men…..”Do you remember that christmas we……” This years christmas is extra special, my husband will be home from an 8mth stint in Afghanistan. Add to that, this year is “Friend-family” christmas; we are spending the day with our best friends and their children; the family our hearts chose. Wine, fresh seafood, sunshine, sprinklers, slip’n’sliding goodness, cold ice blocks, rockin’ tunes and a whole lot of thankfulness and love. What more could you ask for?
YeamieWaffles says
Beautiful post as always, your blog always manages to cheer me up so excellent work!
A Daft Scots Lass says
I adore the fact that you take a group pic every year. Its adorable! Especially everyone in their PJs.
Christmas in South Africa is mid-summer so ours is a little different. Christmas is outdoors, swimming and in the sunshine.
b says
Facing my first Thanksgiving away from my family which also includes my two adult daughters. Things are new and very different for me 5 states away also. It’s hard.
Michelle says
Wow- this is the same story of my life and meeting my husband… only I am on the other side of the Earth now where Thanksgiving is not even celebrated. He also has a son which is why we have decided to stay here (for now). I still have hope that we will be back in Florida, celebrating Thanksgiving with my family in the future. I guess I am just not as far along the acceptance line as you 🙂 ps. my ENTIRE extended family lives in Michigan and we were the only ones in Florida growing up. Fun how similar our stories are 🙂
Hazel says
Love your attitude, holiday matriach, no sulking cause life isn’t what you dreamed it would be, you make it even better!
Whilst we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here in Australia, I think a lot about Christmas traditions. Blending parts of both mine and Rob’s and coming out ok. Tis hard to keep both sides happy in terms of what we do on Christmas day as our parents are a 3 hr drive apart we try to do both, but sometimes that doesn’t totally work out. In some ways as much as I love them all, I’d love a Christmas at my home! Maybe one day I’ll be the matriach of a new way to celebrate?
We always to spend the day after Christmas with a good friend who doesn’t have any family of his own in Australia, we cook another big dinner, wear reindeer antlers, sometimes smoke mini cigars (with the antlers on!) eat pudding and talk late into the night. (Although I admit the cigars are probably not a tradition I intend to preserve!)
aprilanecdotes says
Growing up we were moved to the Midwest from the East Coast with no family around. My MM (Matriarch Mom) and 3 other MMs rotated Thanksgiving among their houses. We played with all the other kids in those families and had a blast while our moms prepared the feast. Wonderful memories made by my all 4 MMs.
Aindrea says
In June I moved from Arizona to England to marry my British husband and spend our life here. Your post struck home- I have to admit I’m pretty nervous about how this holiday season is going to be. Probably pretty emotional.
Team Lando says
Love it! We’re traveling for Thanksgiving, but will be home for Ellie’s first Christmas to go to 11 pm church, eat breakfast in bed, play games, and watch baby girl attack some wrapping paper!
Molly says
I needed this post. This will be my third set of holidays away from family, and while I adore my kids and husband, he’s pretty apathetic about holidays in general. So it’s up to me to create that magic…and I needed to be reminded of that. Thank you. Thank you.
Paige says
What a lovely and heartfelt post. I so enjoyed reading that this morning. I have been so blessed and lucky to be with my family for the holidays. I love our tradition of dancing in the kitchen (or living room) every holiday. A song comes on and we dance! Love the breakfasts in pajamas – so great!
Babs says
In 2008 after the death of my mom, I became a reluctant matriarch; reluctant because I wasn’t sure the role suited me (it came without a handbook!) and also because it seemed to imply that I am now officially OLD. Though I still remember those feelings, the reality is that I have three adult children who have wonderful spouses and three (soon-to-be four) grandchildren, and I want to enjoy every second we spend together–so I accepted the job, enjoyed the contributions of my sons and daughters and in-laws, and our holidays have quite quickly become layered with family traditions we all love! Our lives are rich indeed.
hereisthechurch says
This is so wonderful. I moved out to the Midwest from the coast for college, convinced I would go back home for a job afterwards. And then I found a guy. A born-and-bred Midwesterner. And it looks like I’m here to stay. It hurts sometimes, but I’ll make it work.
vermonter says
Kelle, I have to say that you are right that Traditions can and should be made where ever you are. It is very hard to be away from your family when you have always been used to being home but as you stated traditions are so important no matter where you are and who you are with. Traditions make Lives feel Good… Make New Ones and Share your old ones with New adopted Family-Friends.
Valerie says
this is a really lovely post. I’m from Italy and, lucky me, I live near my family. But I think it’s really important starting my own traditions with my boyfriend, to live with some friends now, with our babies then. Kelle, you’re such an inspiration for me. much love, Valerie
Farmgirl Paints says
i love to go home for Thanksgiving. it’s my favorite holiday by far, but this year we just can’t. the girls only have 2 days off of school and it’s a 15 hour drive:( SO we are having one of my besties (met through blogging) come to us. her family just moved 6 hours from us, and they don’t have anyone any closer…neither do we. it’s a new tradition.
Annie says
Time for honesty- do you buy new pajamas each year just to wake up looking cute for the holiday? (Because that’s what I would do.lol)
Julie says
I needed this post today. We are traveling to the town where our college daughter lives this Thanksgiving. Leaving one child (grown with a wife and child) to join another who is living in her house, with college friends and too many tests the following week to spend 10+ hours in the car. We have made our lists to make sure we aren’t carving the turkey with a paring knife from a college kitchen and I have spent many hours debating the pros and cons of traveling with china and silver (pretty sure the college kitchen doesn’t have matching dishes). We are making new traditions after 29 years of marriage and I just decided that the china and silver are going to Milwaukee next week – along with a knife to carve the turkey!
Kelly says
Kelle,
I so love you! If you were a guy, I would marry you!
You have such a way with words that speaks exactly what is rolling around in my head that I just cannot find the words to say.
The Livelys says
Instead of being a mere participant this year, spending one portion of Thanksgiving with each side of the extended family, we are making it intentional by heading 5 hours away, the to beach. Our new little family of 5 will spend Thanksgivng together amidst the sand and the surf, thanking God for his blessings, our familiy and His rich love for us.
Kelle, I excitedly anticipate each of your blog posts. I relish your ferver for life and try to approach each day with the same joy you pour into your life.
The Popes says
UGH! You have NO IDEA how much I needed this. I moved from Minnesota to Georgia to spend “one summer” in the South when I was 18. Ended up meeting my dream guy, getting married, and starting a family and life just happened. I long for cousin memories and all the holiday traditions I grew up with too!
This year, I hope I create some awesome memories for my kids even if they aren’t the exact ones I dreamt my kids would have.
Anke says
Kelle, this post really hit home for me. My husband and I met while he was stationed in Germany, and I moved here with him after having been married for 3 years. Up until then I always lived very close (maybe 2 miles away)to my family and spent every. single. holiday. with them. The first few years were hard, I just kept thinking about what I was missing and the holidays always meant lots of tears. Over the years and two girls later, we have created our own family traditions and made sure the holidays were happy times. Life is what you make of it!
Kelly B says
I try not to be all, “Wow. We are so soul sisters” when i read your posts…but as a stepmom, a mommy of 2 girls, and a recent transplant from the midwest (Chicago) to the beach (Myrtle beach, SC), I can’t help. I’m about to experience my first Thanksgiving away from ‘it all,’ and we are doing these very things…friends will come for the feast and new traditions will be made. Amen. 🙂
kurlypink says
Matriarch here… We moved our family around a lot and the one constant, other than the cat, was our Christmas. The tradition solidified one year when my son had pneumonia. We were tied to our house and it ended up being the best Christmas each of us had ever had. After that, when I’d ask the kids what they wanted to do for Christmas, they’d answer “exactly the same”. So I do exactly the same every year and our Christmas is our annual two week vacation where we just chill, eat good food, drink lots of yummy coffee, do puzzles, watch movies – basically we slow down and enjoy being together without any commitments. It is the highlight of our year.
Jodi Ann says
This post was such a sweet read for me. My husband and I are originally from Florida, moved to Missouri and started our family (completely away from family) and I’ve struggled with missing out on the holidays. We just recently moved from Missouri to California and the possibility of being near family this year is non-existent. But I am bound and determined to make our own family traditions! 🙂 I love reading your blog, it’s always encouraging!
TammyW says
We are fortunate enough to live very close to our families. When our son was born he was very sick. Our families were so supportive. Even though our son had only been home a few weeks, we hosted Thanksgiving at our house for both of our families as a way to thank them for their support. It was a very emotional day. Seven years later and it has become tradition for us to host this holiday. Sometimes we have both of our families and sometimes it’s just my side. Sometimes we even have friends who don’t have anywhere to go or who can’t afford to travel home. All are welcome! This year finds us 1100 miles from home with our son who had surgery yesterday. We’re hoping to make it home in time for the holiday which will be at our house even everyone else has to bring the food.
Courtney says
What an amazing post! Literally brought tears to my eyes. ‘Second families’ are essential to people that are living as ex-pats from their state of origin.
Tia says
Hello! I, too, live far away from my family and we made the decision as well to stay home on the holidays and make our own traditions. It is hard. But it is meaningful too. Ellie is 5 this year. A perfect holiday age. We plan to live it up! Really enjoy the wonder this year!
Jolene says
Being in Michigan for the holidays is magical…it is just HOME! When I lived in Connecticut it was NOT home and my heart longed to come back. Come back I did and so grateful I listened to my heart….I just couldn’t make it be home anywhere else. I could now but I think I was too young to be ready for contentment. I think contentment comes with maturity.
Talia says
I am so blessed to have my sister (also known as best friend)live close but the other 10 brothers and sisters are far away. We celebrate together and bring our blended families in as well. While we are far from the ‘traditional family’ we celebrate and enjoy every minute.
Once I had children, I wanted them to have the same memories of waking up at their home and spending the day in the comfort of home – NOT rushing here, there and everywhere. It worked because now my college aged kids are grateful for the memories created.
Shannon says
This post could not have come at a more perfect time. My husband and I are sharing our 5th Thanksgiving away from home, the first year we’ve been trying to conceive, and the notion of family holidays is one that makes my heart ache. We live in Connecticut and our families are in Massachusetts. It’s a relatively short distance, but distance nonetheless, and makes it hard to meet expectations of parents and siblings. We do our best though. Sometimes we make it home, sometimes it’s just the two of us. I have to remind myself that we’re making our own family memories and traditions, even if we don’t have kids yet, we are each other’s family and it’s important for us to make these holidays special just for us.
Thanks for this post, Kelle. It means more to me than I can put into words.
Happiness is... says
About 15 years ago, the mothers decided that they were done preparing the holiday; so the baton passed to Ben & me regardless if I was ready for it or not! And through or moves from PA to MD, the holiday celebration was ours to give. I love to put the effort in to the meal, making those items that everyone grew up loving. Ben and I made very clear that it’s about bring everyone together, relaxing, and enjoying. Not about the pomp and circumstance.
And now this year, we are headed back to PA and it feels strange, but ultimately it’s about shifting in order to ensure that the family is together. I will admit though that I put my foot down when Ben’s Mom said that we would buy pies. Sorry, lady. I’ll bring the pies. The generation of women in my genes would lose it if we were to eat a store-bought pie!
Your breakfast is a wonderful tradition!
Jennifer
Joseph and Katy says
Mmmm…the holidays!
My husband and I do a LOT of traveling over Christmas to visit various family members, so from our very first year together we declared Thanksgiving as OUR holiday. Anyone is welcome at our house if they choose to visit, but we don’t go out on that day.
We are in our mid-thirties, no kids. We both love to cook, but don’t feel the need to always have the “typical” Thanksgiving meal. Each year we choose what we want to make and cook together…usually in matching Old Navy Christmas pajamas while sipping a nice glass of wine! Dinner is served at the dining room table, set with our nicest china and crystal, even though it is usually just the two of us. We dine like royalty, still wearing pajamas, on food that we created together.
Dinner is followed by a delicious afternoon nap!
Thanksgiving evening is often spent watching movies, or even getting Christmas decorations out of the attic.
It might not be the most traditional way to celebrate the day, but it is OUR WAY to celebrate the day – being thankful for all our blessings and for our relationship.
Thanks for the reminder to make the holidays intentional!
Mary says
Your post totally makes me homesick. This is the 4th year I’m missing Thanksgiving in Wisconsin with my family. I’ll miss hearing funny stories my cousins tell and miss eating the ever-so-famous cranberry salad. I hated (not really) making that cranberry salad with my mum because we had to use an old fashioned meat grinder to grind the apples, cranberries, and marshmallows together and it was drippy, messy, & sticky. But I really lOVED spending time with her (we both complained a little, hehe.) It took forever, then we had to plop it into the waiting liquid of cherry jello. Next, the thick whipped cream topping (which is to die for!) My grandpa got this recipe from a restaurant decades ago.
I may have to make it this year… by myself 🙁 I’ve only made it once here… I guess I better ‘own’ my Thanksgiving and create traditions too. xx
Mrs. G says
This really resonated with me. Thank you for posting. I have been away from my family going on my second year now (and this from a girl who lived her entire life in the same house). While it is hard sometimes, I embrace all the new traditions I get to start with my husband and eventually carry on when we have children. I also love his family, and thankfully they are close by and can help fill the void. I can’t wait to go “home” for Christmas, but I also can’t wait to have my Thanksgiving here at my real home with my own (little) family. You nailed it when you said “you can create your own reality by being intentional.” That’s something I’ve had in my head but never put into words. Traditions don’t happen on their own – someone has to start them, so why not me? I’ve enjoyed being the holiday “matriarch” so far, and I do find it empowering. What can be more empowering than bringing joy to those you love and knowing you started new traditions that could carry on for generations? If you want to check out my blog, it’s at midwestern-paradise.blogspot.com.
Thanks again for the lovely post! Happy Thanksgiving.
Chantell says
Such a beautiful post ♥ You write so well Kelle…I love being able to share in your life and read your words of wisdom…You are an inspiration to me! :o)
Shannon says
I have to say I am that girl this year…the one who is 28 hours away from her Mama, for the very first time. Being an Army wife is so hard, I have never missed Thanksgiving with her. My husband is deployed, so me & my girlies are going un-traditional. We are going to get takeout from PF Chang, watch movies, and decorate our tree! I just can’t be the Matriarch this year. I will try next year.
The Three Bite Rule says
This was really touching and brought tears to my eyes. I’m newly married and this year will be my first Thanksgiving with his (now-also-my) family. It was a great reminder to bring my holiday touch to my in-laws holiday celebration.
Dr. and Mrs. Bob says
My husband and I moved a long way away from our families this year and will not be heading “home” for Thanksgiving. We have met some great new friends and have decided to host our first Thanksgiving. We are deeming it our “Misfit Thanksgiving.” We all started off feeling like misfits but in the end we have quickly found great and close friends. I think I am more excited about this Thanksgiving than I have been about past Thanksgivings. It is new and it will be very special. I can’t wait! Happy Holidays Everyone!!
Angela says
Kelle, I LOVE this post. It is so easy to get caught up in the ‘what’s-everyone-else doing-in-life?’ and to let your own life flounder because of it. I know I have, and some days to be honest, I still do. Thank you for the reminder to be intentional. That this is MY life and how I spend it, and what memories I make, depend only on me.
Wilcoxen says
Your post resonates with me. My view on moving abroad was much like you. We would have that “really unique: experience and then return home to our reality (which is also the midwest). But 4 years in, this becomes more our home every year. The first holidays were hard. Thanksgiving is not a holiday here and my husband was traveling and of course did not have the day off. Christmas I spent part of the day in tears.
But our second year I realized that we had the opportunity to create new and different traditions. We opened our home on Christmas. I made several large batches of soup. And friends flittered in and out all day. All the while our kids were in their pajamas. It was such a good day.
Our third year we hosted 3 Thanksgivings (which is a story in itself). And the Christmas soup-fest continued. And now as we are rapidly approaching our 4th year away, I realize that we will be spending it with our family. No, we are not related to them by blood, but they are family nonetheless. They are people who have walked life with us.
Thank you for the reminder to be intentional. ‘Cause I am indeed the Holiday Matriarch and my kids are going to have some rocking memories. 😉
booksatthepaperhouse.com says
Stirring and beautiful words, as usual, but this post is different. Gosh, I think I say that every time, but I’m always affected somehow and in some new way. I simply love this. Thank you, as always, for your wisdom and perspective.
~ Devon
Reading with Joey
Julie Schmidt says
I grew up in Michigan (Grand Rapids) and we had the “jell-o with the pretzel crust” every Thanksgiving, too. I wonder if it’s a MI thing…lol. We now live in St. Louis – 12 years this Christmas. And our holidays have become just what you decribed. Traditions with friends that have become family. My children are older than yours (13, 11, 9 and 6 1/2) and we have developed many traditions over the last 10 years. They love them – they count on them – it will be what they remember about the holidays! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving breakfast!!
anita says
Kelle, as other commenters, this post hits home with me. I am a 22-year active duty military spouse (now retired from the military) with 3 grown children (24, 23, & 21). Your approach to handling the task of being away from family during the holidays is spot on. I too, am part of an extremely close-knit family – I have 33 cousins who, with the exception of 2, live within a 40-mile radius of Indianapolis. Being away is hard, but it is what you make of it. I, too, chose the proactive Holiday Matriarch approach. My family now has our own unique traditions and even though I now live back in the Indy area, my kids prefer our traditions to anything else, and I hope that someday they won’t be hesitant to create their own.
To Jamie Severt: They WILL say it. Trust me….
To Shannon(6:50 AM): Being overseas with a spouse that is deployed is the pits. Make the best of it for you and your girls. Make it memorable in a positive way – it is possible. Trust me…..
maryanne says
Oh Kelle, thanks for this. My dad passed away in June, so these will be our first holidays without him. I have to “intentionally” find a way to make it okay (maybe we’ll go for festive next year — this year I’ll settle for okay) for my mom and my kids. We will carry on with our traditions (chocolate turkeys on each dinner plate and homemade placecards provided by my little girl) and remember my dad’s squash and mincemeat pie and how thankful we are to have had him.
Aidan says
Thanks Kelle – I needed this. Thanksgiving is different this year – just married – celebrating with my fabulous in-laws, but at a country club, due to my mother-in-laws recent knee surgery. I was feeling pretty down about the lack of tradition and home cooked meal that I grew up with and alternately super guilty about feeling bad because I know my mother-in-law would love to cook herself, but is not able to this year. We will make it work! I will intentionally make it special. I needed this nudge to get out of the moping stage 🙂 PS – So fun to see your family from when Lainey was an infant to the toddler that Miss Nella is today 🙂
Shannon says
I love that phrase, “being intentional”. I have thought about “living deliberately” lately, which I think is pretty much the same. It makes the moments that much more vibrant and forces you to really look and find the joy in each one.
Wolfe Family says
Great post Kelle! I feel a bit differently than you since I still live near my family. We are all in town, I’m the oldest and currently the only with a child, my sister is married and my brother and girlfriend live 4 hours away. We all plan to be together for the holidays- but I have such a hard time splitting time with in-laws. On my husband’s side, we have 3 different families to celebrate with. Selfishly, my family’s traditions are always the most familiar and thus the most pleasing to me. However, when you get married, have kids, develop your own home, it’s a challenge to separate yourself and develop your own family traditions. Sometimes, I even wish we lived farther away so we had an excuse to hole up in our home and just be the 3 of us, without offending anyone. As my sister-in-law so adeptly reminded me, holidays are NOT the only time that family should get together so I shouldn’t feel bad about claiming that day for my immediate family- my husband, my daughter and our two crazy dogs. I envision starting a Christmas eve tradition- church, hot cocoa in the car in our pj’s (in case we have babies who fall asleep) looking at lights, or gathered around the fire reading the Christmas Story, or a specific movie… really Christmas (especially) is a season for me… a long 3 or 4 week period of preparation and nesting. Preparing for the celebration of Christmas Day and nesting in the warm house out of the MInnesota freeze! Sometimes, being near to family makes being your “own” family tricky. However, the opposite is infinitely true- being away from extended family is so hard and definitely makes for a list of “things I’m missing out on”.
Anyway, this is just where my heart is as a “Holiday Matriarch”… how do I separate from our families of childhood and create traditions of our own while still maintaining the magic of those connections? Before babies, I never thought of this… it was just “your parents house on Christmas Eve, mine of Christmas Day… and GO!” One year, to accomodate everyone, we did 3 Thanksgivings in one day… I was tired and full by the end of the day! Motherhood, parenthood, wifehood, and family making is such a journey… but what a joy to be on it!
LaurenJo says
Our family is in Michigan as well, Saginaw, West Branch, and Rose City. I haven’t seen my brothers for a Thanksgiving or Christmas since 2004. Military life and lack of money make it hard to get back home. I absolutely loved this post, it made me tear up just a bit, but also made me feel “empowered.” 😉 Yes, we can pout or we can do something about it…prayers and blessings to you and your family this holiday season!
E says
This is my first child’s first Thanksgiving, so naturally we are driving from Raleigh NC to St Augustine FL 11/19-11/22, and then St Augustine FL to Atlanta GA 11/22-11/25 before returning home next Friday. Crazy? Absolutely. But my sweet girl will be surrounded by our wonderful, big, loving family; hearing laughter and stories; all wrapped in holiday awesomeness with a bow of fun. Maybe next year we will stay put and start our own traditions, but this year, her first year, we are going BIG before we go home. YAY!!!
Jessica says
Oh, the tears. We just moved to NC from Michigan in June. These will be our first holidays away from family. I have a 5 yr old boy (who will def notice the difference) and an almost 2 yr old boy (who won’t know any diff). Both of our parents are divorced and the holidays have always been filled with driving around trying to make everyone else happy (no one got along so that we could share times). Honestly, a true pain in our butts with kids. I dreamed of this day when we could stay in our own house, make our own meals, and just stay in our pj’s instead of trekking across the state in what always seemed as a guaranteed snow/ice storm (true MI winters!). And I’m still excited…but it’s starting to hit me. My mother sitting at home alone. My father sitting at the Eagles for Thanksgiving. My sister at the current boyfriends house.. I’ve always been the peacemaker. I’ve always dreamed of a family that just got along and enjoyed spending time together. I have that now, for which I am truly blessed. But, thinking of my lonesome, miserable family back home – who annoy the crap out of me, but I love dearly? Killing me. It sucks to be alone at the holidays and we were the only family that would visit them. And at the moment, my dream of creating new traditions is being trumped by my sorrow for their “new” traditions of being alone. This year is gonna be rough. Your post will help me refocus on the positive!
Shannon says
Kelle- I credit you for my own ability to stop sulking about what I am missing in MI and enjoying what I have here. My drive to start traditional of my own and embrace the “family” we have here. Each year, I am getting better at being that Matriarch
Meg says
Kelle, thanks so much for these beautiful words and the much-needed reminder that with a little effort, holidays can be special no matter what the circumstances. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite day of the year because of the family time it affords: the chaos of a full kitchen, conversations around the table, the opportunity to spend a day celebrating the people I love most. This year, however, I’ve been tempted to just skip the day entirely — with my new husband deployed and the knowledge that this will be my father’s last, the holiday has lost its sparkle and become a day I am actually dreading for the emotion it is sure to evoke. Your message was just what I needed to help realign my spirits and inspire me to make the best of what I do have this year.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful pictures, traditions, and passion. Your girls are so lucky to have an incredible ‘Holiday Matriarch’ to ensure that their memories are as special as yours were.
Comfypjs says
Just have to say I.LOVE.TRADITIONS! I have always tried to get traditions started when I was married but to no avail. Now my tradition is to make gingerbread houses with my 2 grandchildren. Not sure how long it will last since they are getting older but for the time being I love it!
Runningmama says
When I miss home (Florida), I know I can always come to your blog and see a beautiful sunset over crashing waves and today I came here a little sad about this being my second Thanksgiving away…and gosh darn it…it’s time for me to get matriarchal…or whatever you call it and start my own things. I love tradition and I guess I need to take charge and create my own so that my kids will have memories of our home at thanksgiving instead of watching me sulk around feeling sad about missing my family 🙂 I think I will start with making super cute Turkey cupcakes (my 5 year old worships cupcakes!) and go from there
Meg C. says
Thank you so much for this! Although we are able to make it home for Thanksgiving…we won’t for Christmas which is a pretty big holiday with both mine and my husband’s family. My 80+ grandma is already sad we won’t make it down, she loves holiday traditions, as is my mama (who hates not having the kids around on holidays since the divorce), and of course we’ll miss seeing the cousins and siblings as well. But, we are going to be inspired and make new traditions. Like Christmas morning Skype sessions with loved ones and cooking food that could potentially become “traditional” for us in the coming years. Thank you for sharing your passion, your photos, and your inspirational words. We’ll try to sprinkle a bit of that over the coming days and weeks – to make these holidays really shine!
genderist says
We are two states away from family & I know exactly what you mean about the first call home where you hear all the merriment in the background. We are intentional by making our own magic, our own memories.
Erin says
This post is my life in a nutshell. I moved out of state for a teaching job to get a year under my belt. That year turned to 8 years, and now a husband, dog and 2 beautiful kids!
Alicia says
SOO good, kelle 🙂 and so timely for me have JUST moved across the country away from my whole family. i’m working on creating some killer new traditions this year! 🙂
Kammy says
Thanksgiving has always been spent with my dad’s side of the family. When I was younger, we’d all come together at my grandma’s tiny house. We now go to my aunt’s house to celebrate. My kids get to see their cousins (who are actually my cousin’s kids), we all get to spend quality time with each other, and we get to stuff ourselves silly. Who could ask for more?
Last year, my aunt, uncle, cousins, and their families all went to Mexico for Thanksgiving. My son was heart-broken, not understanding how they could break a tradition he had already grown used to. Needless to say, he is thrilled to have things ‘back to normal’ this year. He’s a kid after my own heart…he loves a good tradition.
Lizzy says
I feel like this post was written for me! Like you, I moved away from home, to Utah, planning on being back a few months later. I met the man of my dreams and married him and now we live here but I miss home more than anything in the world. It’s been 4 years and I’m still trying to make this feel like home. I’m thinking that once we have kids it will be easier. I definitely love the Holiday Matriarch part and will definitely be taking that on full force one day 😀
isabelleh says
Hi.. I havent lest you any comments before, so I thaught one have to be the first:) I can’t remember how I found your blog but I have to say: i’m In love..! With you, your family, the way you write and the incredible pictures you take! You’re fantastic!!!! And such an inspiration.. I can’t believe how you do it! I’ll keep reading your blog, that’s for sure!
Greetings from Norway, isabelle
Mrs.B says
Due to the Military we will be moving away from our families in 3 months.. I needed this.
It’s a good reminded that we can start our own traditions with our daughter.
Love is all you need says
I really needed this one! This Christmas will be my first without my parents and siblings. It is gonna be rough and wonderful all at the same time!
JayZ says
Thank you for this. It made me cry but it was exactly what I needed to read right now. I will be spending my 2nd Thanksgiving without my family and it makes me a little sad but now that I have my own daughter, I feel I need to start our own family traditions so I’m taking the reigns and becoming our Holiday Matriarch. Next year, I think I’m going to be brave and not go home for Christmas so my daughter can spend Christmas morning in her own house. It’s going to be hard but I know I can make our own special holiday memories and hopefully we can find friends that become family in our new home.
Erin Goesmann says
I’m a new mother living in Florida, my Mother is in Maine…we are going to Maine for Christmas but not Thanksgiving. It’s going to be hard, I’m going to make her famous Maine apple pie and try and make my little Claire Bears first Thanksgiving as special as my Mom always makes them, because that MY job now!
Miss G says
I stopped traveling home several years ago due to the cost, the relatively short holiday time for traveling across the country and the hectic, frazzled nature of air travel over Thanksgiving.
So here is my tradition: it begins Thanksgiving early in the morning for the annual Turkey Trot 5k, running along the river underneath the trees that are still sporting yellow and red coats. After that, I head to Starbucks for a peppermint mocha coffee (my reward) and head home for a hot shower. The rest of the day is spent preparing yummy dishes and gathering with friends (who also aren’t traveling home), making toasts.
Even though I run the 5k by myself (no friends have jumped to join me at 6 am ; ) I feel so much community running with other people who also do this year after year.
cheers,
gwen
Michelle says
I love that you sang the Doxology growing up and that pie crust making photos just brought a pool of tears to my eyes. I’m struggling without holiday traditions… I don’t have time to read comments right now but I’m going later to get some ideas. :o) Thanks for another lovely post.
Flip Flops [and] Hiking Boots says
Ahh Kelle, I needed to read this today. I just found out that with my work schedule, I’ll be working both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. That means it’ll be the first Christmas in 20-some years that I won’t be home with my family.
I’ve been really upset about that, but after reading this, I’m now excited because it’ll be my chance to start new traditions with my boyfriend that will carry over into our family when we get there.
Thank you for this post and changing my attitude about missing the holidays with my family!
Noemi says
Thank you for sharing this beautiful post. I live far away from my family too and I really feel what you’re writing about. It’s really important to start our own traditions.
Thank you for this!
Kasandra says
You hit such a sweet spot with this post. I live in a different state from my family with my husband and daughter and theres no going back. I love it here, this is home. BUT THE HOLIDAYS…and the talking and walking etc… all the little moments too….I MISS my family! And I grew up with cousins around every weekend, I’m so so sad my daughter will miss out on that, but are so lucky to have our own village family we have created with AMAZING moms, dads and kids. Thank you for writing this. I don’t want to be a Holiday Matriarch, but I need to, and I know I’ll look back and be glad that I did. P.S. Totally bawled my eyes out reading this.
Katy says
Love this post
CrystalB says
I’m from MA, my husband is from MI and now we live in SoCal. Every post of yours is like my own brain writing. We share the same loves.hopes.dreams. for our kiddos and it’s nice to know I’m not wandering this new path of traditions alone.
alohakeiki says
This post speaks to me on so many levels. I am a Minnesota girl that moved to Arizona in 2006. A teacher too! I moved out there with the same thought process. I would teach for a year or two and then move back. Fortunatly my husband, then boyfriend, moved with me. As I lived there I fell in love with it. Making friends and celebrating traditions. All our friends were away from their families too! After our daughter was born in 2009 (a few weeks before Nella) it became clear that this wasn’t going to work. My heart ached to be home again. I wanted our daughter to be with her family. This past summer we moved back to Minnesota. While I’m glad we moved there is a part of me that knows we could have done exactly what you’re doing in Florida. What I learned from this is that no matter where you are it’s never to late to make new friends. I find it in my heart to want to meet people that are away from their families and make them feel welcome in our home. Thanks for posting this. You described my EXACT experience while living in Arizona.
Apryl
Meg says
Holiday matriarch here will be findng a drop dead delicious dessert that pleases my kids to make for Thanksgiving this year and all following. We have tons of delicious Thanksgiving foods we enjy but really fall down when it comes to desserts. I’m gonna change that thisyear!
My Secret Rooms says
Lovely post! Love the whole idea.
I will definately take charge here:
A) in Europe we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving but I will start that tradition with my family this year, ”cuz I’ve got a lot of things to be thankful for!!
B) hence it’s a good thing we moved far away from family since we wouldn’t have started the tradition otherwise!
And then there’s C) that’s a little beside the point: my newfound friends I really really try to be there for, in a more intentional way. Much thanks to the reminders here.
Thank you for the five hundred time (at least!) for being you!!!
Karen says
My three girls are now 4, 2.5 and 2.5. This is the first year I going gung ho with starting traditions. I think they will really start to get it. Some things I’m starting:
1. Made and decorated my own advent calendar to start this year. I plan to fill it with as many treats, as day experiences and craft ideas.
2. Having everyone at the dinner table write what they are thankful for, to be added to a scrapbook we will build upon year after year.
3. Having the girls pick out some toys to give away to other children.
Many more! I’m definately becoming Holiday Matriarch this year!
Kara says
Your intentional holiday-ing is so intriguing and encouraging. I have a feeling that, as a new dual military couple, my husband and I will have plenty of opportunity to be intentional in the years to come. I’m flying to Alaska on Thanksgiving to meet what will be my home for the next three years, so perhaps I’ll adopt a family member or two on the flight over! This year, as we settle into our new, as-of-yet-nonexistent, Alaskan home, we will intentionally forgo the opportunity to enjoy a quiet, white Christmas and fly home to California, instead. Next year, however, it’s on!
Kisha says
Great post!
You’ve inspired to start a new tradition of having a big Thanksgiving breakfast in festive PJ’s as I, too, am the Holiday Matriarch!
Emma Krueger says
Incredible post! My husband I were just talking about this over lunch. He noted that he didnt have alot of childhood memories because there wasnt much to remeber. It made me sad for him, and left me feeling challenged to make it different for our girls. I have a two year old and a little girl on the way and I cant wait to celebrate the holiday with Kennedy this year by herself and with both my girls next year. Holidays are so precious but we should live everyday like Christmas Eve. Excitement,kindness, a spirit of giving to others and being thankful for what we have. Its not easy but its something to strive for, right?!
Living*Loving*Learning*Lauren says
My Mom and Dad came to Florida and left their families behind (My mom is from Clawson, Michigan…which is where we go to for Christmas:)) So for my sister and I, for 20 years and counting we go to our “extended family” for Thanksgiving. It’s basically my parents best friends and their families that they have met while living in FL.
We have about 25-30 now and to say it is magical is an understatement. Tables and chairs must be rented in order to squeeze us all in. The kid wine has been replaced with real wine now (as we are all over 21) and laughter can be heard from streets down.
After dinner we have our annual “Kids vs Grownups” flag football game in the front yard. There are bragging rights and a picture in front of a huge inflatable Turkey on the line.
When its too dark to play football, we move on to dessert and catch-phrase (the largest catch phrase game ever with 25 people)and its always boys vs. girls.
I cherish these special times and look and love that you have created yor own Holiday Matriarch! I promise your littles will hold on to those thaksgiving breakfasts for ever!
Andrea says
thank you for this today. i needed to hear this, read this and be encouraged by these words.
Mo says
Kelle, this is what i needed to hear this morning. I just moved to California from Virginia to be with my boyfriend of three years. We are going home for Christmas, but Thanksgiving flights just aren’t in our budget. This will be my first Thanksgiving without my family and my heart is aching. Your post this morning is comforting and encouraging. Thank you!
sucker4acoustic says
Thank you for this. I have just “survived” my first year away from home in Boston in my husband’s land of Texas. I went back home for Christmas last year, but this year- with the birth of our second baby- we will be celebrating here. It will be sad for me to be so far from my family, but you are right- it is my turn to start the traditions that will live on for my own children.
http://babydman.blogspot.com/
~j says
It’s funny how these traditions can also work in reverse. Growing up my best friend and I always put up and decorated my family’s christmas tree together. One year, my mom ran out to get eggnog and the christmas CD in the changer ran out and next we know; mom comes home to 2 girls doing the disco (and later accidently knocking over a tree)!
Fifteen years later, my best friend and I are separated by quite a few states and are starting our own traditions, she works for pottery barn as a designer, and was begrudgingly putting up all of the decorations in her store the day after Halloween (we’re firm believers in giving the t-giv its own time).
She called me on the way home from work and said ‘it didn’t feel right…’ thinking she was talking about putting up Christmas trees in October, she then completed her sentence with ‘…there was no Disco’.
With memories like that, it’s easy to carry those traditions whatever state or country life takes you to 🙂
Siri says
My family lives 300 miles away and my husband’s lives in the same city so we switch off between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Whichever holiday we are with my family, we play this silly game which involves pennies, a deck of cards, and white elephant Christmas gifts. It is really fun and it bonds my family no matter which holiday we can spend it with them!
Helen says
ahhh this is exactly what I needed! I just moved from Maine to North Carolina (where I know ONE person) and won’t be going home for the holidays.
Lyndsey says
This post made me cry because I like you thought I would spend just a year in Myrtle Beach (and I too imagined my badge of bravery for leaving not just our small town but the state!). Living by the ocean and taking in the Southern way of life. My husband (at that time boyfriend) and I moved here together though so I thought we were sure to go back right? Well he loves his job and the fire department that he works at and three holiday seasons in I was faced with my firsts without family. Thanksgiving was not so bad but missing the Christmas Eve family gathering tugged at my heart strings and I choked up talking to my sister amid being passed around on the phone. This year we will travel again in hopes that next year we will have some new traditions with little ones of our own and family will come to us.
Melissa says
Great post.
I actually brought up the idea of staying home to my husband last night. Our daughter is 12 months old and I feel like traditions at home are important to have. We’re a military family so we always end up traveling during the holidays. He thinks it would be selfish of us to keep her to ourselves this Christmas. So it looks like we’ll be driving back home again… lol. Off subject, how have you been doing with your daily challenges?
Kristie says
This is the first year that we’ve had the room to host Thanksgiving dinner, and EVERYBODY is taking us up on it! Both sets of grandparents! An aunt and uncle and cousin and her friend who is going to college too far away to go home for the holiday! My boss who is a holiday orphan this year! Instead of being overwhelmed by it all, I’m embracing (and delegating…) it. I am declaring our tradition to be having room at the table for all comers 🙂
Daniele says
Your know, my and my husband’s family are all about 1-1.5 hours away… but since becoming parents a little over 4 years ago we started a tradition of having our own Thanksgiving at home. Sometimes family stops by for dessert or even for some turkey….but for the past 4 Thanksgivings it’s been the 4 of us at home, by choice. I miss my mom and grandma’s cooking and the atmosphere of those big family Thanksgivings, but I didn’t want to feel like the kid at Thanksgiving anymore…I wanted to feel like the matriarch and make all of my own recipes and do the cooking with my girls. I’ve loved every single one we’ve had at home.
Natalia says
Lovely post <3
And I just wanted to let you know that I’m twelve, and for a few years, we lived about 15 hours from our extended family, so we didn’t spend Thanksgiving with them. Or at Christmas, we’ll visit them, but we’ll never have a Christmas with just my parents and siblings. But what’s so much fun is this IS our tradition, so never feel guilty that Lainey and Nella will feel deprived of their childhood just because there aren’t sleepovers with cousins. They’re making memories hanging out with you, your friends, and living in Florida 🙂
-natalia
Alicia C. says
What a lovely post. I know it was about Thanksgiving and time away from family…but somehow it really turned into a testament of friendships. Your neighbors look like good people. Both your families (and the kids) are so blessed to have each other. Here’s to friendships and Thanksgiving! *cheers*
Carrie says
I love this (as always with your posts, surprise, surprise!). We plan on making our holidays intentional this year by starting a new tradition…we will spend Christmas morning at our house, just the 3 of us. No grandparents (we’ll do our visits with them later in the day!). This will be the first time EVER. New traditions scare me, as I always feel a loss. But last year was so hectic with all the grandparents over here in our small living room, and our (then) 2 year old got completely overwhelmed. We plan on doing everything slowly and quietly this year. And it will be joyous, as the start of a new tradition always is! All traditions were new at some point! 🙂
Rachel says
Thanks so much for your words of encouragement this fall. I’m from MN and struggling with living in WA, far from my family and seasons the way I grew up with them. We see very little snow, it’s usually far to wet to rake leaves (and we have no trees that shed leaves on our property – all evergreens), and I dislike the rain (we live in Seattle). Like you, I intended to be here for a year and a half, then go home, or at least away. It’s been 5 1/2+ years now, a wedding, two babies, and a house. It is such a good reminder when I’m feeling down that I CAN be intentional about making our own memories and enjoying what seasons we experience here.
Amy says
My favorite part of this post is the Robins Egg Blue pie dish! I need to find me one of those bad boys!
Melina says
Hey Kelle. As you know, I understand you perfectly in this arena. My big, bustling, cooking and singing family lives in Vermont and I live out in Seattle…alone.
Except not alone, because I have friends, and adorable roommates, and they pull me out of the house and down the street to the Tin Hate every Tuesdays for Tacos and beer and Taco Talk. It’s not a big Vermont farm, and it’s not my mom’s pie, but it’s friends, warmth, tradition and love.
xo
Lina
PS I’ve cried on Holidays where I’m not home, too.
B. Holmes says
I so know what you mean. We are going to leave Alaska to be closer to family again. They are all so far away and travel is too expensive! I feel like they are missing out on how cool my kids are and vice versa. Happy Holiday time… wherever you are.
Paula says
do you have that raspberry jello recipe? i would love to make that for thanksgiving!
Emily says
I can’t tell you how meaningful this post was to me. My husband and I just moved 1600 miles cross country, away from every single member of my immediate and extended family, and we will be here for the next 5 years. Thankfully we will be able to visit for Christmas, but not for Thanksgiving. I miss them all so much, but your words were incredibly inspiring. I hope to create our own Thanksgiving traditions this year, and not focus on being sad. 🙂
Rebekah says
Love this, as always. Though I aboslutly LOVE reading about and looking at your beautiful familt 3 days a week there is always something special about these Hallmark posts. They get my mind turning, and it normally ends up turnging for the next week!
I know what you are talking about when it comes to family. We lived around all our Aunts and Uncles and grandparents and cousins for 2 years, and then moved away. I always miss spending time with all of them during the holidays, but we always find fun people to invite over to help us celebrate. But this year, all of our family is flying out here (DC!) to come celebrate with us!! Oh how excited I am for next week to roll around!
Rebekah
Rachel says
I LOVE that first picture!
Isabella's Mommy.... says
So true! I too am away from my family for most major holidays & we can wallow in it or create our own traditions & that’s just what I’m doing with my family. It’s up to us as the matriarch, how are children will look back on their holidays & I hope my little one will look back fondly & want to follow the same traditions. Thank you Kelle!
kalah says
i too am embracing my matriarch-ness. especially when i realized that we have so many x-mas traditions that kids can relate too, but few thankgsiving ones. today we spent our day in the woods, finding a perfect branch. then we crafted leaves (fabric one side, paper other side) and tomorrow we will write what we are thankful for on the other side and hang them from the tree. (eventually the branch will turn into our holiday card tree.) just something small to get the matriarch rolling in time for the big day.
Genia & Shaylon says
I have the blue snowflake pajama pants. They are old, but I still love wearing them. We are implementing Thanksgiving Eve with my family this year where we eat Chinese food the night before to stretch your stomachs out before the big event.
Jillian22 says
As a newly married girlie, I am greatly looking forward to establishing our own traditions for the holidays. This year, we plan on decorating our small (aka cozy) apartment, baking a bazillion tasty goodies, and giving the kitty his own stocking. Best of all, we are investing in an old-fashioned Advent wreath- just like my Oma has. She may be far away, but I can think of her every Advent Sunday as we light our candles in the semi-dark with German Christmas carols wafting through the room. I can’t wait. 🙂 Happy Thanksgiving to you and your B-E-A-utiful family! Love you all!
Alie says
Oh, I just love your zest for life and tradition! My husband and I (both Americans) met while living in Scotland. Starting before we were even dating, we’ve shared Thanksgiving with UK friends, enjoying giving them an extra reason to feast. We moved to Brooklyn this year, and happened to move next to the most lovely family from London. One of my first thoughts—Thanksgiving! This year? It will be much easier to find marshmallows, and we’ll be sharing turkey with our new British friends!
KWQR says
Love your breakfast ritual… what a fun way to connect with your neighbors. My favorite Thanksgiving tradition that we have created for our own little family is that we all cook together… each of the kids have their own “dish” they are responsible for. Even if it is just putting the rolls on a pan… my 3 year old’s favorite job last year… everyone participates.
Speaking of rolls… would love to get the recipe for your sister’s pumpkin rolls!
Lovely post, as always.
xo
Kate
Jen says
I am really looking forward to involving our 2 year old in our traditions. Holiday baking and then making our own wrapping paper (packaging paper collected over the year + his drawings/hand paintings/potato stamps.
Bri!!! says
I just loved this post! What I love is that I have the power to carry on the traditions that were so meaningful to me when I was young! Traditions hold families together!
Ingrid says
love all the holiday traditions you have created. we are trying to start our own now since we have moved to north florida and it has gotten harder to get home for the holidays with our growing family 🙂 this year we are doing christmas and thanksgiving at our new house.
dalailina says
Happy Thanksgiving from Kansas City (home of Hallmark!) I love reading you, so it is not wonder they sponsored you 🙂 Besides the tradition of eating way too much, we play lots of cards after!
Lina Dickinson says
Happy Thanksgiving from Kansas City (home of Hallmark!) I love reading you, so it is not wonder they sponsored you 🙂 Besides the tradition of eating way too much, we play lots of cards after!
Kat says
We don’t celebrate thanksgiving here in Aus, although it sounds like a lovely tradition.
I love the way you have written this post and the concept of being intentional.
For me this Christmas I want to let my heart be light and full of joy, just like my 4 children do.
Time to forget about the “to do” list and just *BE* in the moment with joy!
songskatesang says
I am headed home to Texas for Thanksgiving. It will be good. my grandmother is very sick, so I am looking forward to some serious hand holding, hair brushing and humming.
By the way, that picture of Nella waving is my favorite Nella picture so far!
K_Fitz says
Goes without saying… Macy’s Christmas Parade plays in the morning while my mom preps the turkey and gets the side dishes preped. The house begins to smell like “Thanksgiving”. If I have dinner at mom’s football graces the TV all day long.
I sometimes have dinner with my dad and step mom’s and visit with family and friends. Usually there’s a collection of aunts, cousins, friends who come around. Regardless, it’s always a fabulous time.
If I were to be completely honest, my favorite Thanksgivings have been spent with friends. When I lived in London, I had a group of expats from around the world and shared with them my American traditions. It was amazing.
I now have a 3 year old and I want to write her memories and create the traditions she’ll look back on and cherish. It all starts now. It’s great!
Sweet Melissa says
Geez! Every.Single.Time! So right where I am right now, once again! We live in Brazil with 2 small kids & we have missed 3 Thanksgivings at home & 1 Christmas & about to miss another Thanksgiving but you are so right…I need to bring it & be the Holiday Matriarch for my family because even when/if we move back “home” it won’t be Where my family is & all my memories, too. Thanks, Kelle! You constantly inspire me to be a better me & a better mom!
momentsofexhilaration.com says
This will be my first year away from home for the holidays as my family and I just moved across the country. What perfect timing for this post! You’ve inspired me to be intentional about creating my own holiday traditions. I feel happy now that we’ve decided to stay here for Christmas instead of making the trip back “home”. Thanks!
Tami says
K, I NEVER post comments cuz I just don’t do that… but had to this time. I enjoy all your post and this one hit home as we are currently in the process of packing our things to move to Dubai for a few years. This Thanksgiving will be the last one with our extended family, cousins and the myriad of colored trees for awhile. Although i know we will be together as an immediate family on this amazing adventure, i am curious to know what OUR family picture of 2012 will be comprised of and how my “intentional” may have to adapt in a different country…
Debora says
aahh… loved this post, Kelle. I’m so far away from all the cousins and family hymns, too… and this definitely strikes a chord. Thank you for the beautiful reminder that there is beauty and so much joy to savor HERE AND NOW.
now you got me all excited about Thanksgiving! 🙂
Rocksee says
I love this post.
I live 4000 miles from my family. Separated by an entirely different country. Sometimes on holidays I pretend that it’s just another Wedsnesday.. hoping not to make it hurt as much.
But living here, I’ve found my “Alaska Mom” and my “Alaska sisters..” and it is indeed what you make of it. Home is were your heart is.. and I believe wholeheartedly that can be in two different places. You can wish you were home, but have a great time celebrating in your NEW home.
Great post.
But heck, they are always great.
Happy Holidays and Warm Thoughts..
From the North Pole AK.. were it is currently a very chilly -41.
medina family says
I understand exactly. I grew up with huge Thanksgivings with lots of family….and now, after many years of people passing on into the next life…I’m strangely on my own in all this, with my own family, making my own traditions. I still feel like I’m missing out, and that I’m too young to be doing this, but as the mom of three young kids, it’s my turn to make memories for them.
So some traditions: this year we’ve made a thankful mailbox and we’re putting a note in everyday of what we’re thankful for…to be opened on Thanksgiving. And there’s another fun game we did one year. Everyone chooses an adjective and writes it on a card (or a stone, to be cool), then everyone chooses an animal and writes it on another stone…and the two piles are on the table. Each person chooses a stone from each pile giving them their new Native American name….sometimes they turn out great…like brave eagle…and sometimes they turn out funny like dancing skunk or stinky armadillo.
I’m so thankful for your blog Kelle, thanks for keeping it up.
Susan
Jan says
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jan says
What strikes me in your text is the sentence “If you don’t have family near you, find one.” I´ve been few years now living between two very different countries and with the kinda family and friends here in Athens makes all the difference in the world, of living thousands of kilometers from the place you grew up. I think your home is where your heart is.
By the way, your blog is always a pleasure to read and your pictures are amazing. I wish that would be the case with me, too. 😉
Jan
http://athenspassion.blogspot.com/
Susie Q says
Kelle – You & Brett are making some AWESOME memories for your kids – don’t underestimate how wonderful they are in their eyes!!
Family of five -in Sweden says
Have you seen the swedish actors Glada Hudiksteatern? http://www.gladahudikteatern.se/show/object.asp?oid=863
They are so good at acting and singing. Maja has down syndrome like your beautiful Nella. I think its so important that all men and women get to be a part of the world and gets the chance to be seen and listened to. They made a movie that sold out on cinemas in Sweden, everyone should see them. Unfortunately it´s in swedish and I don´t think americans like subtexts. Jerry has done so many commercials and he also has downs. They are good role models.
//Annika
Angela says
I freaking love these Hallmark posts, because just like some of the cards, my eyes get a little misty and that warm feeling creeps over me and it’s just nice. Thank you. Beautiful post!
This year, I am the Holiday Matriarch for the first time, EVER. With my sweet little family of 3, we are hosting my in-laws for Christmas and i couldnt be more excited. I’ve been crafting and preparing for a month! We too live out of town from all of our family so it’s a big deal. (to me at least- i want everything to be smiles and gorgeous memories)
Jilly says
Thanks for this, Kelle. I’ve been sad lately thinking about how my cousins & I aren’t as close as my mom was to her cousins, so as I get older I won’t have those big holidays of my childhood. This is a good reminder that you can find family anywhere.
And as someone who has spent a semester at sea, you’re never too old for that badge. Trust me.
Kelly says
Is Brett wearing the same pj pants for 2008 and 2009? LOL!
I also love creating our own family traditions for my 3 & 4 year old. We started something new with our Elf on the Shelf named “Jingles” 🙂
Jessie says
The holidays are a mixed blessing for me. I’m divorced and get the kiddos every other year for Thanksgiving. This year is my “off year”, and it saddens me that I can’t do my traditions with them on the actual Thankgiving day. But reading this makes me inspired not to worry about the date, rather continuing those traditions anyways. My mom’s Thanksgiving tradition was to wake us up around 5 am blaring Christmas music. If she had to be up baking pies, by golly, she was going to have us all up. It was the first day introduction to Christmas season, and I loved being woken up by my favorite music in the whole wide world. I’m thinking the kids will get a “rude awakening” on Wednesday morning instead…. 🙂 Thanks for this, it really did cheer me up!
John & Misty Schluchter says
Thanks SO much for posting this. I moved away from my huge Southern family with my own little family of 4 in May to Omaha, NE. I never dreamed I would leave “home”. It’s hard to be away and it’s hard to watch my 2 little ones experience things without grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles experiencing them with us. My heart is becoming a little heavier as the holidays approach. These are the first ones away from home. Everything is new and different. Your words were so encouraging and empowering. Thanks for helping me find the things to look forward to!
Colleen says
I so needed to read this post today. Just this past weekend, I packed up my immediate family and moved to Fort Worth for my husband’s job. We left behind family and friends and the most amazing support network. I am having a hard time with it because of the holidays and that I don’t know anyone here yet. I know that time will change that and soon we will create our “friends-family” here in our new town. Your post gives me encouragement to focus on the future of possibility instead of the reality of today. Thank you.
Jessica says
Wow, you got it! I must say, when I read that a Hallmark post is coming, my kneejerk reaction is that it’s going to be too much – like adding sugar to honey.. but by the end I realize – you are not inspired by Hallmark – they are inspired by you. What a rich essay, you have there – fit for a Thanksgiving feast, and marshmallow-free.
Renee says
First of all, I really needed to read this! My husband and I have been talking about moving out of state and it’s very scary for me. I’ve lived in the same place my whole life and all of both of our families live here. I would love to get away, but don’t know how I would handle not being able to be around our family as much as we are now. That being said, reading your post made me realize that it’s okay and we start our own traditions for our little family, and we will make the best of it.
For now, I’m still here, around all of our family. We have a lot of it! For my entire life I’ve done the same thing for Christmas….went to my dad’s side of the family for Christmas Eve, Chirstmas morning with my inlaws, Christmas afternoon with my mom and Christmas dinner back at the inlaws. While I love our families, all of the running around is so exshausting.
Not this year! This year it all changes and I’m making a new tradition for our family. We will not be going any where on Christmas Eve, we’ll go to the inlaws on Christmas morning and for the remainder of the day all of our family and friends are welcome to come over to our house to celebrate with us. Arya is old enough now to enjoy Christmas and I want to make it fun for her (and us). I’m proud of myself for putting my foot down and making my own traditions for our family. I’m excited to see how it all turns out!! 🙂
Ginny says
I completely understand the multi-hour separation from family. And, while I wish we had the breakfast morning fun, we adopt whatever friends are available and cook ridiculous amounts of food. There are definitely two types of family for me: the one far away that I miss terribly and the one I’ve created where I am.
Mr. Man says
I’ve never needed a post like this so badly. My husband is deployed and my littles and I are facing Thanksgiving alone. We are nowhere near family. I had been second-guessing my thoughts on Thanksgiving…to NOT cook all day, thus ignoring my boys, but to go with take-out…allowing me the time to spend with them on this very special day. While it hurts very much to have a vital member of our family so far from home I intend to intentionally spend it focused on my littles and carrying on our own family traditions. I want to read, laugh, go for walks, snuggle up and watch a parade…just BE with them. I don’t want to let this day slide by just because our patriarch isn’t here. I want to be intentional and grateful that I’m lucky enough to have this day with my boys. And your post has reminded me to do just that. And not just to do it…but to know that I’m doing it right…because I am the Holiday Matriarch. 🙂
Dana says
This post hit home since I too live far away from family. I thought I would be in my location for 6 months and it has now been 3 years. It’s been hard to come to terms with and I have spent too much time feeling sad about it.
This holiday season I will spend Thanksgiving in Vermont with my fiance’s family and spend Christmas in Texas with my family. I will be intentional to get home for the holidays until we are in the position to move.
Thee Fire Wife says
I’m still grappling. I make the food. I invite friends and international students who don’t know the usual cuisine and show up with a plate of asian short ribs in curry. I move the day around based on my husband’s schedule and try to remember all the things I’m thankful for. This will be my 4th Thanksgiving away from the bustle and the small family dinners of only 38 because some people couldn’t make it. It still doesn’t feel the same. I guess I still want it to.
Life with Kaishon says
I sort of think girls that move far away from their families are a little crazy. I could never leave mine and I am SO THANKFUL God has not made me.
Glad you are happy in Florida.
Jen says
It is true about creating memories and being intentional. Just tonight my son was thinking ahead to our trip to Grandma and Grandpa’s tomorrow and said, “Daddy, you know what? One time when you were away on that trip with Uncle Weston we got to Grandma and Grandpa’s and the sun was still up.” (Typically when we drive there it’s after work to get the travel part out of the way and not use up a weekend day in the car. So we usually arrive in the dark. Last summer I took the kids by myself, it was a bit of magic.) It’s the littlest things that can be so memorable and important to their lives. Thank you for inspiring us all to see the joy in the lives of our kids and our families. Reading your blog makes my heart sing.
Lindsay says
Oh Kelle, I can’t tell you how much this post rings true for me. Moving from California to Chicago without any family or friends and only planning on being here a year. Well 4+ years later, an amazing husband, and a beautiful home we have created it is still hard to be away from family. We don’t have kids yet, so we are still flying back and forth between our families in California and Michigan for the holidays. But one day we will have our family and I will be thinking of this post and reminded that you can create your own traditions and make the holidays special. Thank you!
Tiff and Seth says
I LOVE the holiday time! Especially Thanksgiving. When I started dating my now husband, I was worried about Thanksgiving at his house- why? Because MANY families gather together (his having 25 members alone!!!) and we stand in a large circle before dinner and all go around saying what we are thankful for! It quickly became my favorite holiday and I begin thinking early what exactly am I going to say this year?? The thanksgiving circle is also where my husband proposed to me 8 years ago!!
Carrie Grant says
Can’t say how grateful I am for the wisdom you’ve shared in this post. Chances are good that I cried this week when I realized that we probalby won’t be within a convenient drive of my parents when my husband and I start having kids. I always said I’d never leave Michigan (something about that mitten and the people in it is so magical), and yet here I am in Kentucky.
Thank you for the encouraging words, for the reminder that it will be okay. I needed that so very much.
Moosefan says
My husband is deployed again. But with him being deployed, I get to be the house that our friends come to! Wed. night, my daughter and I will be slicing, dicing, boiling, soaking and prepping for Thursday. Our son will be upstairs in his room deciding what toys will make it downstairs for the smaller kids and which video games for the bigger ones. Thursday morning, at exactly 307am, I will wake up, just like I have done every Thanksgiving that we have had at our house, hit 250 on the oven, ready the coffee pot and stick in the bird. I go back to bed and a few hours later, wake up to that awesome smell. Once everyone gets here, we make a big circle in our living room, each one tells what they are thankful for and then we chow down. After dinner, Mom’s get to plan Friday shopping and the hubbies get to clean the kitchen. Yes, this is the 4th year that my husband has been deployed, proudly serving like he has for the past 20 years. But my friends, they are our family too.
Sarah RDH says
Oh Kelle…this made me cry. I grew up, without much family. We didn’t have traditions, we didn’t have family get-togethers at all, my mom worked on most holidays, so I spent them alone. I so longed for a real family. I never had a special holiday growing up…It still makes me sad. Then I met my husband, and acquired a giant family! My in-laws, I consider them, my only family. We doo all the big family meals, and oh the cousins…my kids have so many cousins…*I* have acquired so many cousins! (My husbands). My brother (in-law) has been known to complain about the get-togethers, (I love him, but not gonna lie, he’s pretty snooty! lol)and I like to remind him that some of us grew up with NO ONE and yes, every family has the select few that you don’t particularly care for, but it’s the love & warmth of all the others that keeps you going back…But even with all the extended, we still have created our own family traditions, in our home, with our kids. And I LOVE IT!! Be glad that you have the memories you have, and that you have found family in Florida to spend your holidays with!!
flower power momma says
I”m not sure how we will celebrate. Perhaps w/tears. My beloved 79 yr. old momma is dying of cancer. We may or may not have her at our christmas dinner table.
But we will still celebrate the King, heaven, and family love.
Even now, Mom is getting words of love and thankfulness for all the years of love she has shown others.
I’ve lived far away too, but am blessed to be back here, especially now.
flower power momma says
I”m not sure how we will celebrate. Perhaps w/tears. My beloved 79 yr. old momma is dying of cancer. We may or may not have her at our christmas dinner table.
But we will still celebrate the King, heaven, and family love.
Even now, Mom is getting words of love and thankfulness for all the years of love she has shown others.
I’ve lived far away too, but am blessed to be back here, especially now.
flower power momma says
I”m not sure how we will celebrate. Perhaps w/tears. My beloved 79 yr. old momma is dying of cancer. We may or may not have her at our christmas dinner table.
But we will still celebrate the King, heaven, and family love.
Even now, Mom is getting words of love and thankfulness for all the years of love she has shown others.
I’ve lived far away too, but am blessed to be back here, especially now.
Mock-Turtle says
Beautiful, stunning, wonderful photos. Enjoying your blog.
jackspapermoon.blogspot.com
Selena says
I just want to say that although we’ve never met, I love you, and your spirit. Thank you for faithfully posting and for sharing your family. 🙂 You inspire me, and with every post my heart is warmed.
Happy Thanksgiving to your family… both in FL and MI. May you be blessed this Holiday Season.
Unknown says
Thank you for writing this. I’m also from Michigan (Go Blue!) and live in Portland, OR with my husband, We just this last week decided to stay here, which we are making our home, instead of moving back. My husband had a job offer and we carefully considered moving back so that future children could be near their grandparents. It just boiled down though, to us loving where we live here, having secure jobs in careers we are passionate about, and having control in our lives to make our Portland friends family. Your post really solidified for me we made the right decision, and I’m so happy my good friend forwarded it on to me. Thank you for your words and your wisdom.
Adriel (The Mommyhood Memos) says
Heck yeah, I am SO the Holiday Matriarch. It’s a title I wear proudly and a position I take very seriously. I love going big for the holidays – not necessarily in spending, but in giving, in generosity, in time, in creativity, in intentionality. I grew up in the mountains of Oregon enjoying white Christmas’s… and now I live in tropical Australia and celebrate Christmas at the height of summer each year. It is a far cry from “home”… but it is my home now! Like you, I’ve had to choose not to mope, but instead to take the reigns and steer this baby where I want it to go. And dang it, I have a good time doing it! Our Christmas season just gets better and better every year as we change and grow and learn even more how to celebrate life to the fullest! Merry Florida Christmas to you. May it be all that you hope for… and more. 🙂