It’s silly, really, the big deal we make of this–the fact that I went to two different stores to find hair glitter on an already crazy day or that “the right shade of pink” was even a thought when looking for ribbon to wrap around the flower bouquet we’d give her when she walked off stage. It was a mere three minutes–the length of her performance–thoughtfully tucked in the beginning of the show because little ballerinas have less patience waiting backstage. And she could have been dancing in our living room, for all that matters, in her favorite worn-out Taylor Swift tee and messy hair and dried cream cheese crusted over her top lip, and we would have loved her performance all the same. But this was her first recital, and when you’re mining through the joys of daily life sorting all that’s good, proclaiming gems from the first sip of morning coffee or the crinkle of a plastic cover on a library book, imagine what a find it is when “first recital” shows up in your sieve. Dear God, you’ve struck gold.
You don’t ever drop your sieve in parenting. It’s a constant job this standing in the river and sifting, sifting, sifting through pebbles of diaper changing and breakfast making and homework checking and laundry folding and appointment making and fight breaking and driving to the next soccer practice you signed them up for before you realized if they win, you spend every waking hour of your life at tournament games that require your weekends, your wallet and your kidney if they so request. Some days it’s a dangerous job–and it takes your breath away as you tread further in the river–knee-deep, waist-deep, over the shoulders–holding them up as you help them withstand the currents of heartache. Mean girls. Rejection. Loss. Failure. Insecurity. And even if it’s days, weeks, months before you see flecks of gold shimmering again beneath the water, you stay in the river and wait. Because you know they’ll come. And when they do, you scoop them up and celebrate. Buy hair glitter, arrange bouquets, take pictures, gather family and write blog posts about that shimmering little nugget of a ballet recital. And before you know it, you’re finding gold in more places–bits of it catching your eye even in the fiercest currents.
This river business isn’t for the faint of heart–but it’s lucrative if you can hold out.
Portraits of a First Recital:
When I slipped away from the backstage waiting area, her teacher was holding her. When the little girls marched out to take their places for their dance, the teacher was still holding her. She tried to put her down, but Nella wrapped her legs even tighter and wouldn’t let her let go. The teacher looked out in the crowd for me to come get her–she had to lead the girls and get the song started. I ran up and gave it one last shot–whispered for Ivy to take her hand. When she did, all was right with the world and Nella danced the whole thing, heart all in.
Sometimes, you just need your best friend to remind you how capable you are.
My kids have Poppa wrapped around their finger when it comes to vending machines, mall rides, and those stupid claw games that never catch a stuffed animal (rigged, I tell you! RIGGED!). My kids know to skip me and Brett and run straight to Poppa. “Poppa, money.” Little beggars.
We went out to eat downtown afterwards (Shea’s at Landsdowne–super fun and excellent food!), and she had some fun strutting her stuff in the streets.
Dash also had some fun climbing in a fancy shop display window on Fifth Ave. while we all looked for him, but that’s another story for another day.
Happy gem mining.
And a very Happy Memorial Day to all those who have served our country. Celebrating our freedom today and remembering the sacrifices for which it costs.
Anna-Weston says
Oh the first pictures of Laney doing Nella’s lipstick has me crying. I have that exact picture of my sister carefully doing my makeup with my hair done up and me just ever so slightly nervous on my wedding day. Sisters are treasures there at all of the most important moments.
Molly says
Those backstage pictures are like a Degas painting! Beautiful!
Congratulations, Nella! xoxo
nena beynon says
I love reading everything you share! Wonderful pictures of a beautiful little dancer. So much love wrapped in these photos !!!!
Marilyn says
These photos are just beautiful! My granddaughter has her first ballet recital soon. I would love to know details on your lens, camera settings, etc.
molly flinkman says
what a beautiful metaphor for me to keep in mind today as I mine through the screaming tantrums and thrown sippy cups for good. Thanks always for your perspective!
Kelly says
My little ballerina is all grown up, but your gorgeous pictures take me right back to those recital days. It flew by all too fast. Nella was absolutely gorgeous!
sarah says
Beautiful. So wish I’d read this at the beginning of a rather tough day down this mine. Glad to read it now though xxx
Jeanie says
Nella looks so beautiful! I hope we can see the video of her recital sometime.
Shelley says
Oh…the claw game! Many, many Florida road trips from Canada, our youngest (21 tomorrow) was always drawn to the claw games. Somehow our “don’t waste your money” were met with “look at what I got!”. Yes he was lucky a few times, (always seemed to score the hole in one at mini putt too) but also the generous maintenance men must have witnessed many disappointed little ones and just happened to be servicing the machine and threw out a prize. Happened to our son a few times. Thank you to those who can in an instant create a lifetime memory.
Catherine says
These pictures are so beautiful. The one of Lainey doing Nella’s makeup and Nella and Ivy kissing- those are just heart-stopping. So amazingly depicitve of Nella’s beauty Id hang them in my house!!
Donna Owens says
This post sums up what having a beautiful little girl is all about! The hair and makeup, the glittery costumes and flower bouquets and, of course, the dancing itself. Loved it (and not just because my daughter has danced since age 3; she’s 22 now!)! It brought back memories and made me so happy today. Thanks for sharing!
Reenie says
Adorable <3
JO says
Oh my word! Is there anything cuter than an adorable girl in a pink tutu? So cute!
Chrstine says
I can’t even..
this is just beyond precious ♡
Isabelle says
Beautiful writing!
Captures the spirit of parenting so well. Thank you for sharing.
Greeting from Switzerland,
Isabelle
Nancy waynick says
Melted my heart!
Lil bee says
Oooh love this. Mining for gems feels so accurate.
Thank you so much for your writing – you have a gift.
Lil Bee xxx