This post is sponsored by Arhaus, makers of timeless beautiful things for your home.

We’ve been home a lot lately–entertaining out-to-dinner plans but choosing instead to stay in and loving it. Our neighbors have been over more than ever, our house is hitting some record highs for staying clean, and things feel especially homey around here. It helps that it’s September, and everything shifts toward gathering and making our home as cozy as it can be. As my brother explained the other day when we exchanged weekend home projects (“Restaining wood floors–you?” “Lighting candles, baking poptarts and painting the girls’ bedroom.”): “Fall is the gateway to loving your home.” And it is–a season shift toward staying in. Football and chili nights, apple spice candle mornings, dinners with friends, holiday planning and a louder invitation to enjoy our spaces, to make them cozy, beautiful and replenishing.

I’m always switching things up and making little changes to our home from moving furniture around to folding a new hand towel in the bathroom, and it all makes me so happy. But the main space in our home–our open living room–has presented some issues for a while now. It just hasn’t felt put together. I’m a make-do kind of girl and have made the best with what we’ve had and am so grateful we inherited some good hand-me-down furniture a while back, but it’s definitely seen its day now. And with some other issues–a constantly cluttered bookshelf with exposed cords, some busy prints and accessories to overcompensate for what I couldn’t fix, and a general “anything goes” decor plan, we just weren’t feeling the homey vibes for which we knew the room held potential.

And though our room gets a lot of light with an entire wall of glass doors, the fact that you can see straight through can present more clutter and distract the eye.

So we needed a game plan to make our living room homey and create a put-together feel for fall. While we have a bucket list of big projects (wood floors, new fireplace wall/mantle, close off book shelf with cabinetry), we knew we could make the biggest impact for now with new furniture and a few creative fixes to our clutter problem.

1. We stained our coffee table, giving it a brand new look (and making some stains disappear!), and styled some curated accessories and books on top.
2. We simplified our wall prints.
3. I addressed my book hoarding issue and donated over 100 books, keeping only our favorites and the classics.
4. We painted the inside shelves under our T.V. black and housed the books in matching baskets–a huge difference (cords are hidden now!)
5. We changed the layout, making the sofas face each other and bringing everything closer to the center. 
6. And my favorite, new furniture from Arhaus. 

The result…

It feels so. much. better–clean and cozy and a place where we actually love to sit now. In fact, every time we get the kids to sleep and sit down to enjoy the last bits of the evening here, we spend the first five minutes talking about how good it feels to love our space.

As for choosing our sofas, I entertained a sectional but opted for two sofas for a few reasons: I love to change things up and a sectional would lock us in to one floor plan, I’ve always loved the classic look of two sofas facing each other and an important one–there wouldn’t be a good place for our Christmas tree with a sectional, and Lord knows Christmas is a deciding factor around here. We also wanted a gray color that would work with a range of colors if we wanted to change the look of the living room over time by switching out the rug, accessories and throw pillows. We have a lot of blues in here now, but we could add warm tones, change it up with some black and white pops or even go with more wild color. Either way, these sofas are made to last and are a traditional style that will extend beyond changing trends.

If you recall, we have Arhaus furniture on our lanai as well, and I can’t speak highly enough of the quality and durability. Our new Dune sofas for the living room are the same–solid and supportive with comfort that whispers “Sit down and stay a while.” Plus they’re made in America–handcrafted in North Carolina and constructed from natural hardwood, fibers and real down feathers.

Their Linwood linen collection of pillows and throws is beautiful–by far our favorite and comfiest pillows on the sofa.

We’re waiting on our Clarence floor lamp to finish off the room, but so far, we are so happy with everything–it’s amazing how much some love into a space can bring so much joy. We’re sitting in this room so much more, holding coffee cups and kids on our lap in the morning, and steering dinner guests toward this room in the evenings. And movie night has a whole new meaning–these puppies feel like beds when you lie down on them.

Because this room is so large and open and the first thing you see when you walk in, it sets the tone for our entire home. It now says “No!” to clutter and, this month, a resounding “YES!” to all things fall. Give me candles that smell like maple woods. A bowl of crisp Pink Lady apples. Wassail served to friends. Blankets draped around sleepy kids. Louis Armstrong crooning “When You’re Smiling,” and promises of the first fire in the fireplace later this year.

I can’t wait for the stories these sofas will tell someday.

BONUS: These sofas prop up Nella’s tree pose perfectly–our final check of approval.

You want to know the best part? Our friends at Arhaus are giving away a $500 Arhaus gift card to one of our readers. Poke around their site for some wonderful home inspiration, and tell me–what’s your favorite thing in your home and why?

a Rafflecopter giveaway

And check out the Arhaus Warehouse Sale starting on Saturday, 9/10. You can save up to 60% during this great sale, and even more with their Gold Tag Treasures. Select inventory will be marked down for incredible savings. It’s a great way to get your home ready for fall.

And just when I think that all inspiration has withered, that the very spark of life that breathes all good things in me–the ideas, the ambition, the words, the color, the creativity–has been snuffed out…Just when I make the call–THIS IS IT! I knew it, it’s seriously for real gone this time and it’s never coming back and I’m going to spend my whole life running around taking my kids places and folding laundry and spending the precious few moments of alone time doing nothing but sitting on this couch scrolling Instagram looking at other people’s lives, screen shooting inspirational memes and online shopping for things I don’t need to try and will the glow to relight (cute stationery, rainbow barrettes and detachable Peter Pan collars help, not gonna lie)...Just when I calculate that this is the longest creative dry spell ever so, yup, this is the end…

…then it emerges.

Sssshh. Do you hear that? First, just a whisper. A tiny flicker. A sleepy voice, slowly waking up: Oh hey, I’m still here.

And it grows. An idea. A creative rush. A motivating pull. A moving pen. A song, a poem, a dance, a paint color, a fire. A contentment. A confidence. A recognition of the stockpile of reserves I have–an entire hallway of doors I forgot I had access to–stories and feelings and inspiration I subconsciously collect over time. A freedom to explore them. A removal of what blocked them.

It always, always comes back.

But rest assured. I will freak out when it gets quiets again in, say, 3-8 more weeks, that indeed THIS is the time it’s gone. For. Ev. Er.

It’s a fine balance between learning to enjoy the rest and satisfaction of not thinking and creating or needing to do something–of simply driving kids to school, folding laundry and sitting on the couch–and stirring the pot for some good old dissatisfaction that Martha Graham would say fuels this whole thing. As that graceful little mover expressed, “[There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.”

So if you’re stumped, feeling a little too rested, convinced your creative brain that used to dance all hours of the night is permanently dried up; if you’re afraid you’ll never have another good idea again, another swell of motivation that makes you act on that itch, get out the door, start the course…just hush for a moment and listen. “Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard.” (Anne Sexton). There’s a divine dissatisfaction in all of us. It just needs to be set free.

And when you hear that little voice and hand it a megaphone, a pencil, a paintbrush, a stage–you notice more, feel more, enjoy more.

Enjoying lately…

Finding beach treasures. A new corner of sand we explored. Speckled cat’s paw shells, tangled seaweed, a dried up silver minnow flickering in the sunlight. We named him Bob.

Alone time with “the last baby.” I’m one too and love to hear my mom talk about the few years we had alone at home together while my brother and sister were at school. How we played Memory, baked brownies, played music and how I frequently asked her if she thought my siblings were thinking about me and how she always replied “yes” even though they probably weren’t.

That one-on-one time though–so special.

The Wedding. Big day here last week–these two got married. Bow tie, curtain veil, processional music, the works. The happy couple have been married six more times since and are planning on honeymooning at the park. The bride and groom are registered at Toys ‘R Us.

A Sunday morning twirl.

A Saturday morning jump session.

Adding some northern Michigan lodge flare to Dash’s room.

Bear garland, pine tree pillows, Camp pillow.

Mornings…and my handleless mug kick.

Dinosaurs everywhere. 

Somewhere between little girl and strong woman…
…sweet Lord, I love this girl, and forging the path into parenting kids who are not drinking out of sippy cups is beautiful/terrifying/hard/amazing.

Dipping our feet into Fall cooking.

Like Hot Wassail and Homemade Peach Poptarts…

For the Wassail: I poured a little less than half a gallon of apple cider into a dutch oven along with the juice from one squeezed orange, about a tablespoon of brown sugar and several good shakes (probably nearly a teaspoon each) of cinnamon and cloves. I grated some orange peel into the pot, floated some cinnamon sticks and a few orange slices, and let it simmer for a good half hour. Ladle it into your favorite mug, curl up on the couch with a blanket, and dig around Netflix until you find one of the following: Little Women, You’ve Got Mail or Julie and Julia.

For the Peach Poptarts: Inspired by this recipe, I used my mom’s pie crust recipe. Fork together 2 cups flour, 1 cup shortening and 1/2 tsp. salt until you get little pea-sized beads. Slowly add 1/2 cup of milk and mix everything together until good pie dough forms (I take my rings off and get my hands right in there). Generously flour a flat surface and roll dough out until 1/8 – 1/4 inch thick. I cut long rectangles that would fold over to make above poptart shape. Fill the rectangle with a couple spoonfuls of peach filling (below), fold closed, poke a few “breathing holes” on top and fork the edges to seal. Sprinkle with sugar and bake on a cookie sheet at 375 for 20-25 minutes or until tops are lightly browned. Or skip the sugar and frost with a little vanilla glaze when they’re finished (choose the latter, choose the latter!).

Peach filling: Chop up three fresh peeled peaches (like dice ’em good). I didn’t measure what I added to them, but the peaches weren’t very sweet so I put in probably a tablespoon of sugar, 2 tablespoons of sweet apricot preserves and a good several shakes of cinnamon.

Vanilla glaze: I just mixed some powdered sugar, a smidge of soft butter, 1/2 tsp. of vanilla and a little milk in a bowl until it made a nice frosting consistency. I spread it over the tarts when they were still a little warm so it got all melty and glazey, and why yes those are official baking terms–feel free to use them. Also, I wing almost everything in the kitchen, so throw in a “give or take” to every instruction above. One more also: THESE TARTS WERE EVERYTHING. The kids inhaled them. As did I. Brett’s not really a dessert guy, but he smiled and said the kitchen smelled good which is a 5-star review in his dessert category.

Making an end-of-summer crown from some tiny wildflowers I picked up on a run the other night.

Hearing the voice of divine dissatisfaction, listening…moving forward. 

When I unzipped Nella’s backpack Friday afternoon, the first thing I pulled out was a Chuck E. Cheese birthday invitation for a little girl in her classroom. I’m sure it was tucked into every classmate’s backpack before they left and shouldn’t mean something special to me–why wouldn’t she be invited?–but the instant welcome to friendship in the first week of school hugged that little part of me–the part that dramatically played out the entire story of her life when she was born, and worried if she’d have friends or be invited to parties or feel part of the group. It is perhaps the greatest concern of parents of kids with special needs in school because while we know we will work hard to overcome challenges with resources, appropriate accommodations, academic growth and life skills, we also know that the underlying foundation to success is a sense of worthiness–of being loved and feeling a great sense of belonging in a community where we are recognized for who we are.

Last year in preschool, we didn’t feel the need to address Nella’s differences with the classroom–at least not in any organized way. They were all so young, focused on their own little worlds, just happy to be together and play, with little notice of how other students performed. But I was aware of a shift by the end of the year–the way her friends lovingly took on helping her, the way they looked at each others’ projects and bluntly assessed who scribbled and who stayed in the lines. Nella didn’t speak near as much at preschool as she does at home, and I’ll never forget receiving a video from her first year of preschool when she played a color game and finally spoke out loud. “Yellow,” she said when the spinner landed on the color. And right before the video ended, you could hear a little boy next to her gasp and yell, “HEY! NELLA CAN TALK!”

The fact is, kids are observant little sponges, perhaps well more aware of the world around them than their grown predecessors absorbed in their phones and schedules and to-do lists. And though we might think kids are naturally good-hearted and inclusive when it comes to accepting and interpreting differences so “why point it out if they don’t notice,” I’ve found they do notice. And they are naturally curious about their friends around them.

Going into kindergarten, I knew I wanted her class informed about Down syndrome–this year and every year–or at least until she’s like, “Mom, dear God, I can do this on my own.” Knowledge is power, and presenting our child’s differences in the way we want them perceived–which is basically what they are: a few different things that make her unique among a sea of things that make her like everyone else (see also: humans in general)–leaves no time or space for kids to form their own misconceptions or to assume, by no mention of it, that the subject of differently-abled individuals is something to be whispered about in private, and it’s not.

As one parent from this Pacer Center guide witnessed, “When there’s an obvious difference and no one is talking about it, children become confused and think there must be something ‘bad’ about it. When the children understood that the disability was not bad, but just different, many were eager to help him.” More understanding leads to more acceptance, loyalty and support. And this isn’t just for Nella. According to the National Organization on Disability, nearly one-fifth of all Americans have a physical, sensory or intellectual disability, and one out of 9 children under the age of 18 in the US today receive special education services. Initiating these conversations is vital for all of our communities. If these friends aren’t in your child’s classroom today, they will be in their communities tomorrow.

If you don’t have a child with special needs, you can initiate these conversations in your own home  (I wrote this a couple years ago as a guide for introducing the topic of special needs to kids). And if you do have a child with special needs starting school and want it discussed (not everyone does, and that’s fine!), reach out to your teachers and school counselors about how you’d like it introduced. Schools will naturally protect confidentiality regarding your child’s disability and know that parents have different feelings on how they want them approached in school–so let your voice be heard!

We reached out to our school counselor and asked her to speak to Nella’s class without her present. Since they’re only in kindergarten, they don’t need in depth information on chromosomes and cell biology. But we do want them to know that Nella is smart, loves her friends, shares a lot of likes and dislikes and might need some extra help and support because of a little thing called Down syndrome that makes her unique. We also wanted them to give them ideas on how they can be her friend, help her learn and yet leave room for her to figure things out herself.

“What do you want me to share with them?” our counselor asked me. As a former teacher and mom, I needed to write this whole thing out for myself, but I highlighted the important things and handed it over to her with a “Love you, trust you, make it your own.”

Now picture precious little kindergarteners–the future leaders and workers and community-builders of our country–all criss-cross-applesauce on the floor, listening intently, raising hands once in a while to interject completely unrelated information like “my grandma’s cat died” and “can I get a drink of water?” but mostly, listening intently/playing with their shoes.

Talk about things that make us different:  (Can you roll your tongue? Does anyone have any birthmarks? Freckles? Do you know anyone with allergies or asthma?) There are lots of things about our bodies and minds that make us unique, and many of these things are with us since before we were even born. Some of these things we inherit from our moms and dads and some things we have on our own.There’s a friend in our classroom who has something special that makes her unique. Our friend Nella has something called Down syndrome. Down syndrome is not a disease. It’s just part of who she is and what makes her different just like having different hair color or a special birthmark or allergies make other friends unique.

What is Down syndrome? Down syndrome is not a bad thing or something to be sad about! It’s just one thing that makes Nella different. She can do pretty much everything everyone else in this room can do–she can talk and run and play with friends and dance and learn to read and write her name and make art, but because of the way Down syndrome makes bodies work, it might take her a little longer to do these things, and she may need a little extra help from teachers and classmates. You might not always be able to understand her and sometimes her school work might look a little different, but she is trying her very best and is proud of her work just like you feel proud of your work when you work hard. Nella loves to learn and watches and listens to everything around her. Anyone who loves to learn and keeps trying, no matter how hard things are, is VERY SMART.

Focus on similarities: Down syndrome is just a very small part of who Nella is. Even though Nella might learn to do things a little slower and needs extra help, she is JUST LIKE YOU!

*She loves to swim and play outside
*She loves to play with Barbies
*She is really good at playing games on her iPad
*She LOVES music and Taylor Swift is her favorite
*She likes watching shows on Nick Jr. and Disney
*She takes ballet
*She has lots of friends and loves to play with them

What can you do to support Nella and be her friend?

Sometimes when everyone around you is doing something that’s hard for you, it can make you feel bad or alone. We all have times when we feel this way, and we all have different things that are hard for us. WE NEED OUR FRIENDS to support us, help us and remind us that we are all an important part of the group. Remember what it feels like when things are hard for you to do, and think about what makes you feel better.

* You can offer to help Nella with things that are hard for her, but try not to do things for her if she can do it herself. She loves to be independent and do the same things her friends are doing.
* Even if she doesn’t say as much as you do, still talk to her! She understands you perfectly.
* You can play with her at lunch and recess and make sure she knows her friends love being with her.
* If you can’t understand things Nella says, be patient with her and ask her to repeat it or ask the teacher to help you understand her.
* Be a cheerleader. Sometimes if things seem hard to Nella, she may want to shut down and not try. Be a cheerleader and remind her, “YOU CAN DO IT, NELLA! JUST TRY YOUR BEST.”
* Compliment a job well done! Nella loves to be recognized by her friends for her hard work. If you see she worked hard on something and did her best, give her a high five or say “Great Job, Nella!”

Thank you for being such great friends to Nella. She loves being here and loves all of you.

Questions, questions, questions, ask anything!

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There are several children’s books that deal with disabilities and differences. I personally love the non-specific themes of acceptance and different-is-rad such as Not Your Typical Dragon and Elmer—fantastic springboards for expanding into themes of acceptance and compassion–but you can find some great lists of books on specific disabilities such as these Children’s Books About Disabilities or this Goodreads list on children’s books that introduce specific special needs themes.

We also know that maintaining friendships and encouraging social growth will take extra efforts on our part for Nella. Providing play opportunities after school, inviting people over, etc. is important. My friend Stephanie, several years ahead of us on this journey, hosts a backyard movie night every couple weeks to foster her teen son’s friendships.

If any of you have any great ideas on introducing these themes to classrooms or tips for fostering friendships and making connections at school, please share in the comments!

This is all a work in progress. But as Nella’s mom, I’ve got three jobs every day that I know I can do: show up, speak up, and dream up. Onward, friends.