Enjoying the Small Things

Enjoying the Small Things

When Minutes of Grooming in the Bathroom Equals a Vacation

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Thanks to Dollar Shave Club for sponsoring this post.
This is a photo of me and Brett on vacation.
And by vacation, I mean enjoying a simple moment of grooming in the bathroom because when your day starts with cleaning up a pile of dog poop while the kids cry because their sock seams don’t line up and continues at a constant speed until you’re propping your head up to stay awake while attempting to help with fraction story problems, you look forward to a simple grooming routine in the bathroom as if it’s a trip to Tahiti.
That means when I finally do find a sliver of the day for some cherished self care time in the bathroom, I want it to feel special. When I turned 40, one of the things I promised myself was that I’d turn up the volume on some slapdash daily routines to transform them into more purposeful rituals to be enjoyed. No more slapping water on my face to pass as “washing,” or digging through drawers to find a dull razor because I forgot to buy one, or making do with products I don’t love because they’ve been sitting in my bathroom for years.
I’m stocking my bathroom cabinets with things that make me feel good and investing more in my self care routine so that those quiet moments of grooming in the bathroom feel less like a chore and more like a vacation.
It helps when we find products that are affordable and when shopping for them is convenient. Have you heard of Dollar Shave Club? Dollar Shave Club has all your grooming needs – shower, oral care, deodorants and most importantly, shaving. They sent me their Ultimate Shave Starter Set (only $5!) and Post Shave Cream.

 

The starter set includes Dollar Shave Club’s Dr. Carver’s Prep Scrub (exfoliates dead skin cells and helps release and prevent ingrown hairs), Dr. Carver’s Shave Butter (transparent for a more precise shave, helps fights razor bumps), Dr. Carver’s Post Shave Dew (helps provide hydration and relieves on contact), the Executive Razor Handle, and a 2 pack cartridge set all for just $5

 

My favorite is the shave butter because I do not do razor bumps–especially not in Florida when we’re frequently dipping in salt water (razor bumps and salt water are enemies), and I learned long ago that smooth legs need more than soap and water.

I’m very picky about razors, and I love this one–a weighty handle (very important) and high quality 6-blade razor heads. This is me, yelling the iPad password to the kids so they can play games and leave me alone while I’m on vacation.

Of course it’s always nice when Brett and I share products…as long as he keeps that razor away from the beard because Long Live the Beard!

 

You can get the Ultimate Shave Starter set for only $5 at www.DollarShaveClub.com/Kelle and then round out your grooming routine by adding any of their other high quality products. After that, the restock box ships full-sized products at regular price.

To more routines turned rituals…and the products that help make them that.

Want to Join Nella’s Wand Club? A Simple Ribbon Wand D.I.Y. that Promises Delight

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It’s been three years now since Nella fell in love with a ribbon wand that became her signature accessory. Rarely is she seen without it at home. We are immune to its presence now, an extension of her we hardly notice anymore. In fact, I laughed looking through photos the other day as it shows up in every picture–even our family Christmas card photo, and I didn’t even realize it was there. I still get asked lots of questions about her wand from new people on social media. Here is the story of the wand if you didn’t know. She has an innate sense of when holding it is appropriate and, on her own, throws it in the car as she steps out at carline to go to school every morning. She hands it to me if I drop her off at play dates and can go without it when needed. She usually makes that call on her own.

But it’s clear that the wand brings her joy, and we love that.

We’ve bought so many wands over the past few years, have received them as gifts from friends, and yes–she has favorites and rotates them for different feelings and occasions. It makes us as happy to give her a new wand as it does for her to receive it, so we are always looking for ways to create new designs that will delight her.

Want to join the Wand Club? Nella’s the president, of course, but I’m a certified recruiter; and I have a whole spiel I can breathlessly deliver about the beauty of ribbon wands to sell you on them and lure you into our club. These wands promote delight and imagination and movement and creative expression and rhythm and color and childhood happiness, and it’s all contained in a sweet little stick you can make with a few things you probably have at home. These are also really fun to give away for sweet personalized birthday gifts (or Valentine’s Day!).

What you need:

Dowel Rods (we like the 3/8 inch ones and find 10-packs of them at Walmart)
Screw Eyes
Ribbon (we’ve also used lace, yarn, pom pom ribbon, etc.)

Optional: Acrylic paint, spray paint or wood stain for painting the sticks; felt and needle & thread for covering the screw eye and adding a little decoration on the end.

Instructions:

If you want to fancy up the stick part of your wand, you can paint or stain the dowel rod first. Last year, we made a batch of rich dark-stained wands which were beautiful. You can also spray paint them and then tape off stripes and add another color. You could even yarn-bomb the stick to get really fancy.

Push and twist the screw eye into the center of one end of the dowel rod until tight and secure. We used to drill a little hole first until I realized if you push hard enough, you can screw it in yourself without help. Loop as many ribbon strands as you wish into the eye and tie a knot to secure. If the knot is too bulky with multiple strands of ribbon, you can also fold over the edge of the ribbon and secure with hot glue instead.

That’s all you need for a basic ribbon wand, but we’ve gotten fancy with all these wands we’ve created and are always looking for ways to impress Nella with something new and interesting. Lately, we’ve sewn felt embellishments on the wand end which also disguises the screw eye. Cut two matching hearts (or any shape) out of felt. Add a little glue to secure one felt shape under the top of the wand and one over it so the end of the wand is sandwiched between them.

Stitch the two shapes together around the edge to secure.

Nella loves choosing her own ribbon combinations.

Now we’re just going to have to build a wand rack to store and display her collection.

Happy Twirling!

5 Things I’ve Learned in 10 Years Raising a Child with Down Syndrome

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Yesterday was Nella’s tenth birthday. Many of you were brought to this blog because of the post I wrote ten years ago after she was born, before I knew any of the things I know now. Sometimes people hold back from writing or sharing about something because they think they have to know the things before they write them. I’m so glad I wrote before I knew things. I’m glad I typed and scribbled and hit “publish” when I was naive and hurting and didn’t know anything about Down syndrome. I’m glad I didn’t wait ten years before I offered my feelings about it because a ten-year perspective is so different from a raw three-days-into-it perspective, and they’re both important and needed. But I have learned a few things in ten years, and I’ll keep adding to this list as she grows.

Five things I’ve learned in ten years from raising a child with Down syndrome…

1. Everyone has hard things to deal with, and everyone deals with them differently. Validate people’s pain. Celebrate their victories, even if it looks different from yours.
When I shared about Down syndrome that first year, I received criticism for my disappointment about her diagnosis, criticism for being happy too soon, criticism for not sharing enough hard parts, criticism for talking about hard parts…you get the point. There is no right way to deal with hard things, and every person’s experience, acceptance journey, and pain reaction is different. I was recently told a story of a friend of a friend who was deep in grief weeks after being delivered some news I wanted to categorize as small potatoes on the “our hardship is worse than your hardship” scale that does not exist. I caught myself immediately. We do not judge someone’s pain by ranking it. Feelings are feelings, and if someone is hurting, they need love and support.

2. Don’t give your child special treatment.
It’s hard to specifically link Nella’s successes to things we’ve done because there’s no way to tell if it’s because of what we’ve done or if she’s just naturally gifted in a certain area. However, if there’s one thing we’ve done that I will attribute to her success, it’s treating her just like our other kids, holding her responsible, following through with consequences, etc. When she was a baby and I’d meet adults with Down syndrome who were doing things I wanted her to do, I always asked the parents what advice they’d give. So many parents said, “Don’t treat bad behavior any differently than you would if she didn’t have Down syndrome.” We never babied Nella or talked to her differently than we talk to all our kids. She deserves that, and she’s thrived because of it. Her school is the same. In the early years when she was reluctant to leave the playground or shut down during activities, all of the staff knew not to baby her. She’s cute and sometimes we are inclined to go easy on her because of the challenges she faces, especially if she’s crying; but I don’t want her shutting down or refusing to participate in the real world when she’s an adult and looking for a job. We make accommodations when necessary, but never at the cost of the high expectations she deserves.

3. It’s okay to change your mind.
There’s no need to proclaim, “This is the way we’re doing it!” when it comes to special needs, but if there are important stances you want to take regarding special needs issues, give yourself permission to change your mind later. Very much like any issue in parenting (“I’m never going to let my kids play with a device at dinner”), sometimes given new circumstances, you shift your viewpoint (“Let’s go to Chili’s so we can eat in peace while the kids play on those iPads.”). There are a lot of opinions and a lot of different issues in the special needs community–inclusion, education, therapies, etc. You don’t have to “take a side.” Do what’s right for your child and your family, and know that at any time you can change your mind.

4. Invest in friendship.
One of most beautiful areas where Nella is thriving right now is her friendships. She has friends who do not have special needs as well as a bestie (on our street!) who has Down syndrome like her. These friendships add so much happiness and value to her life, and we make a lot of efforts to spend time with friends and make sure their time together is meaningful–after school playdates, sleepovers, etc. I text mamas, drop off, pick up, plan ice cream dates and movie nights. We make sure her friends know how much they are loved. We print pictures of Nella with her friends and display them in her room, and the message to her is clear–“You’re loved. You’re a good friend!”

5. Community is the greatest gift.
I still laugh that I actually declared after Nella was born, “I just want to do this alone. I don’t want to be part of any groups or marches.” The Down syndrome community as a whole has become the greatest gift. It’s our second family, and the way that we support each other, rally for each other, share resources and love each other is phenomenal. I am so proud to belong to this community, and I don’t know what I would do without this family. We never feel lonely in dealing with any Down syndrome issues because our friends are dealing with them too. And the way we find each other? By sharing our stories. Vulnerability builds community. When you need something, people feel honored to help.