It was an afterthought really—one last thing to put in her Easter basket last year, and it wasn’t until the thrill of the chocolate bunny and the jelly beans wore off that she even bothered to notice the ribbon wand that was still tucked into shreds of pink paper grass in the back of her basket. But it didn’t take long for her to love it, to find her early in the morning on the landing in front of our entryway where sunshine spills in like stage lights and where there is just enough room between the walls for her to freely twirl her wand while the ribbon dances in mesmerizing loops.
It’s been ten months now, and the wonder of the wand has only grown in strength.
“Where’s my wand?” she asks as she shuffles out of bed, eyes half-closed, before the sun rises.
“Where’s my wand?” she asks as the van door glides open for school pick-up and she climbs in, tossing her back pack on the floor.
“Where’s my wand?” she cries, frustrated, when she’s circled the house three times and still can’t find it.
I’ll admit, I was worried for a minute there. It’s not necessarily fair to her, but sometimes because of Down syndrome, I look at things through a different lens. Is she too obsessed? Is this attachment going to be a hurdle for her later? Is the way she shakes the wand stimming? (likely.) Are friends going to think she’s the weird “wand girl”?
And here’s what I’ve concluded: If weird wand girl is wrong, then I don’t want her to be right. On her own (because she’s smart like that), she drops the wand when she knows it’s not appropriate. Hands it to me when I ask for it, leaves it in the car for school, (hesitantly) turns it in for a consequence when she hasn’t followed directions. It hasn’t distracted from things that are important like learning and socializing (her friends love the wand) and paying attention.
Mostly, it does this magical thing though…it brings her joy.
It unlocks a little whimsy in her, encourages lyrical movement, provides a little comfort (like a lovie).
And then there are the bonuses. Like watching Brett get all excited when he’s figured out a way to fashion a new wand—a better wand—out of a dowel rod and some ribbon. I’ve found him in the garage, drilling holes into sticks, threading ribbon through—ribbon he picked out just for her, mind you, at a….wait for it…fabric store.
“Just wait, this one’s going to be her favorite,” he tells me with boyish enthusiasm that makes me want to renew our vows right there in the garage with the heap of Goodwill bags and broken lawn mower behind us.
Or there’s the day she was crying when a friend was over, and the little friend who said to her mama, “I’m going to make her a wand to make her happy.”
Or the old lady in the grocery store who saw Nella twirling her wand in the condiment aisle and left her cart for a moment to come dance in the loops of the ribbon, laughing and twirling her hands above her.
Or the readers who’ve found wands in store aisles across the country and have taken the time to take a picture and send it to me with a little “Thought of Sweet Nella” message.
Or the way she stands next to Gary, patient as ever, waiting while he untangles the 300 knots that have accumulated in the ribbons from all that twirling.
Or my precious Lainey who said the other day, “We should make Nella a Valentine wand.”
Or the swell of happiness I felt the night I stayed up before Christmas to hot glue peacock feathers on felt and braid thin ribbons into long strands to make another wand—I wand I knew she’d love—for a gift.
“Oh, so you think your wand can top my wand?” Brett teased.
The wand has brought a little magic to our family, and that makes me happy.
I know there will come a day—just as they’ve come for the blankets our kids clutched every night as toddlers, and the plush puppies they dragged through stores, and the favorite bunnies that were loved so hard, their whiskers fell off—that the wand will be forgotten, rolled under the bed with the dust bunnies and the lone sock that’s too small.
She will let go and find new things to delight her.
But I’ll never see a wand in life and not think of these years, these snap shots in my mind of her twirling in the sunshine at the front door, or my family hustling to find her favorite wand when it’s lost, or their efforts to make a new one for her, more beautiful than the last…and remember how wonderful it is to get lost in little things that delight us.
P.S. Most of our favorite wands are ones we’ve made ourselves or that have been made for us, but we do love this one we bought from Amazon and this one from Anthropologie.
Do you remember that scene in Inside Out when Bing Bong lets go so Joy’s wagon can make it up the wagon? And he fades away while memories of her as a little girl with him replay? I don’t think there’s ever been a scene in an animated movie that hit me in the motherhood jugular more (close second, when Andy leaves his toys in Toy Story 3 to go to college). I literally shook in the theater, tears rolling down my cheeks, thinking of all the little things my kids have loved and what a special place they will always hold in our family’s heart.
Does your child have a lovie or a cherished thing that will bring back all the feels someday? Do tell.
Like Nella, My little guy has a bib that he holds and twirls the straps. (We have named it the shaker bib.)I have never heard the word stimmimg, but after looking up the word, that does sound like what he does. My MIL wanted us to take it away from him, but he is absolutely joyous when twirling and it makes everyone around him smile. He surrenders it for school and seems to have a healthy relationship with the thing, so why not? I think I might introduce a wand to him so he can start practicing to be a rhythmic gymnast.
I love this. Perfect.☺️
I am so glad that I was not alone in sobbing in the movie theater for that scene with Bing Bong! I looked over at my husband, who never cries for a movie…trying to fight back my sadness…and when I saw his eyes brimming with tears? I lost it. My kids were embarrassed. So was I. But hey, it was cathartic. 🙂
If I saw Brett crying in a theater to that scene, I think I’d never make it out of the theater. Oh my God. Such intense emotions.
My husband I both were sobbing in the movie and then in car after the movie. We had just found out that our kiddo had microcephaly and CP at 2 years old and the reality hit us in that theater. It was awful and amazing at the same time.
We haven’t watched it since..too many feels.
I hope everyone has lovie memories. At 40+ my blankie is framed. As a child I had meningitis and a blankie went with me to spinal taps and other tests. I endured teasing for having one all my life. When my parents moved overseas for mission work when I was 21, my mom framed a blankie and included the sign “in case of emergency break glass”. You are blessed to see the joy the wand brings. We all need something to cling to that brightens our days.
Ok, this is the sweetest thing I have ever read. I love the little note! I want to remember this idea, unfortunately right now it’s a Marie stuffed animal that has my girl hooked. I don’t think I can frame that lol
Shadow box! Or framing store. They’re frame anything.
Oh my Gosh, yes! Great idea! Totally framing a wand for her room when it’s all over.
I have a million feelings on this that won’t come out right so just this — thank you. I love Nella and her wand. I love how she loves it. I love the joy. I love whatever comfort it brings her. I love watching people love things.
That phrase…”I love watching people love things.” Yes. So much yes. xo
My special toy was a stuffed tiger and a little rabbit covered in real rabbit fur. I still have them both – ragged as they are and put away. My daughter was into Barney (though at 30 she venomously denies it (ha) and my sweet son was a Teletubbie fan (the green one). I have both of their special toys put away for safe keeping. Every time I see any of them it brings a smile to my face and memories aplenty!
This post was so beautiful and heartwarming to read! My daughter who is 5 has a lovey that we call “sleepy” because it’s what she takes to bed with her every night and has for the past 3+ years. It’s a little blanket with a sheeps head on it and the sheep is missing an ear and it’s so dingy looking even when it’s freshly washed. If it ever gets lost, I think I’ll be WAY more upset than she would be. I will keep and treasure that thing forever.
I love the name “Sleepy” for a bedtime lovey.
Ha! That reminds me of my little girl and her itty bitty blanket that she called her “ni-night.” Her Grandma got her a second one as a backup, so then we had to differentiate between “purple ni-night” and “new ni-night.” Purple ni-night still won nearly every time when I asked which one she wanted to have tucked around her at bedtime. 🙂
From his earliest of days my son became attached to a thick flannel baby receiving blanket. It quickly became his comfort item and it went everywhere with us. He lovingly called it “fishy” due to the baby fish printed fabric. My son was a thumb sucker and for whatever reason he would only suck his thumb when holding that blanket. When he was about 4 years old we tried everything to break the thumb habit to no avail. In the end we knew he needed to part with the blanket to be able to part with the thumb but there was no way I could just take the blanket away. So we took “fishy” and went to Build A Bear. He got to choose whatever stuffy he wanted and to make it so his stuffy would have “extra love” we convinced him to put this beloved blanket inside the bear when they filled with with fluff. I expect a whole lot of tears that night but funny enough there were none and the thumb sucking stopped cold turkey but the attachment to the stuffy was strong and remained that way for years. He is nearly 14 now, that stuffy lovingly tucked up on his closet shelf. And every time I see sitting up there it I’m flooded with all the feels. Those parental moments, that’s the good stuff. Thanks for writing such a beautiful post Kelle.
Such a thoughtful way to retire a lovey. I love this.
My four-year-old loves his muslin blankets….we were so thankful that he never picked just one, but loves them all. We thought we had avoided the possibility of “losing the one and only lovie” on vacation….but then he found a box of old beanie babies in the basement one day. He picked out the fuzzy gray cat with the pink ribbon around its neck and named it “Marshmallow.” So now it’s Caleb and Marshmallow….and a blanket.
I was never a hardcore Beanie Baby collector, but I’m sure I did put them in that box thinking “who knows? Maybe they’ll be worth something one day.” Little did I know that little kitty would be worth FAR more than anything I could sell him for on Ebay.
“Marshmallow”. The names of these lovies are killing me!
My niece was really into silky fabric. She mortified my sister numerous times as she walked out of the bedroom carrying her mother’s slip or worse yet, her mother’s underwear into a room full of company :)!
Sitting in my van on the Walmart parking lot crying. People probably just think it is because I have to go in. But no, as you have many times moved me to tears with your precious stories. And now I want a wand too?
I’ve cried in a Walmart parking lot before too. Ha.
This post made me smile! Both kids had a lovie that they couldn’t part with. My oldest as a baby and toddler and I’m sure a little beyond actually became attached to wash clothes. You know the little coloured baby ones. She had to have two and there was a time they HAD to be pink and yellow! She would take them everywhere and sleep with them tucked under her cheek. Later under her pillow.
My youngest just turned 11 and still has her pink giraffe lovingly called tip top. There are actually 3 identical ones in her possession. There once were 4 but one sadly was lost. They are displayed proudly on the back of her bed and one is always tucked under her arm when she sleeps at night. Tip Top still travels with us on vacations and goes on any overnight trips even to friends homes. She is faded and tattered and well loved. A lovie that will forever be apart of her favourite possessions.
Like Nella both girls knew they had to leave these comfort items in the car on outings and they weren’t allowed to attend school except on pajama days. There are many a photo that these lovies are proudly clutched in their small hands. I wouldn’t change those moments for anything.
Our 8 year old has had a fascination/obsession for the past 4 years with pinwheels or windmills as she calls them. Love it!
Lovies are my love language. My girl is 11 now and Baby Polar Bear (or BPB for short) has been with us since the beginning. He doesn’t get taken everywhere with us anymore, which I miss, but I still find him tucked under her chin at night. He is the keeper of her secrets and her first best friend.
My group of friends call me Bing Bong, because I am the most hesitant to let go of her childhood. Sigh. I see the relationship we are going to have as she gets older, and I’m gonna love it. But letting go of her little self. Damn. It’s so hard.
xoxo to all the mama’s out there!
For my sister, it’s baby dolls. Became attached to them when she was young and would not go anywhere without one… sometimes three. She’s 34 now and they are still always by her side to bring her comfort. Her favorite one even has a g-tube that a lovely surgeon taped on when she went in to surgery to have hers placed????
The most beautiful post ever! My 9 year old still loves his stuffed duck, which I’ve had since I was 3; and gave to him when he was also 3. We both have always seen it as a chicken not a duck 😉 and I’ve had to repair it many times. It is an unnamed diluted horrible color now, and still, he says it’s his best (not real) friend. I’ve tried to get him to part with it, and after reading your post, I know I’d have regretted it, so thanks! Let him enjoy it, and me the fact he still enjoys so simple things. Inspiring and beautiful.
My girl, who is 12 now has a blanket. She only sleeps with it now. This blanket was my son’s, who is 15. As a child she carried this blanket everywhere with her. I let her sleep with it now, because one day when she is a teenager and too old or too “cool” for it. I will keep it forever.
Both the Bingbong scene and Andy’s final goodbye had my husband and I clutching each other and BAWLING. Even now when our children leave something precious behind and towards ‘grown up world’ we look at each other and exclaim, ‘ Bingbong!’ Yesterday my 6.5 year old son had has first day back at school (southern hemisphere- January start date) and he asked to have his photo taken with his beloved teddy bear. I was painfully aware that this was probably the last time he will ever ask to have Babybook in the photo with him. Ugh, tears.
My daughter had a Raggedy Ann from the day she was born, in 1972. She wrote her name on Raggedy’s chest, right above her heart. Carried it everywhere for years. When she passed away at 18, that Raggedy was such a comfort to me. I still have her; she is missing part of her face and an arm and some stuffing…to me she is perfect.
Oh, this is precious. What a comforting way to keep her close to you. xo
Yes. Mia had “lovie.” It was NOT cute or precious or even “appropriate.”
But, more importantly, it was beloved–for the joy and comfort it brought,
for the safety she felt while clutching it, for the giggles and side-eye it produced
in strangers. It was a sad, sad day when Lovie (capital noun, obvs) was lost forever,
somewhere at daycare. I wrote a blog post about it about two months before it
was gone for good, and I’m so glad I did.
http://www.scarymommy.com/the-strange-things-our-children-love/
Forty-nine years old … and I still have “Fritz”, the beloved stuffed dog that my mother crafted for me when I was only a few weeks old. He started off as brown velveteen, but is now worn completely smooth, and is stuffed with maternity pantyhose (yeah, in the late sixties, that was A Thing – can you imagine?!). He was my faithful sleeping companion every night of my childhood, and made frequent bedtime cameos even when I was an adult. (He still bears the mascara stains of my first broken heart in college.) Soooo fragile now (the fabric tears like tissue, I’m afraid), but he has a place of honor atop my jewelry box.
Some lovies, you never outgrow. <3
Oh, yes. Ours is a small stuffed panda, Pandy. My 4 year-old daughter spied it in a store and begged. Nothing new, as she always begged for more junk she didn’t need. Then she squeezed it. It giggled. She giggled. I giggled. How was I to know what a precious part of our family that panda would become. It has travelled with her all over the country, gone to the first day of kindergarten, and received so much lovin’ it is dingy and gray, where it was once bright white (and lonely. ) We are constantly fighting over who gets to snuggle her, and who gets to keep her when my girl grows out of her. She is twelve, and the love for Pandy hasn’t waned yet.
I literally began to cry the moment I read the words “Big Bong” – my husband was bawling right alongside me for the very reasons you broke down over that scene.
I can’t imagine why there would be a reason to worry for a second over that love for her wand. She’s adorable, brilliant, creative, kind, and goodness the joy we as strangers feel from watching her joy is pretty terrific.
Walmart has a rainbow wand for a buck, in case you need to stock up on just-in-case wands or have a bunch for a party.
(Bravo for Gary for being so patient with those da’gum knots!)
My daughter, 14 with DS, has tried several “twirlers” over the years and finally found one with the right weight-to-size ratio. She was very picky! ???? She landed on My Little Ponies. Pony is her go-to when she is stressed, happy, or ready to relax. (But she is good about keeping him at home.) She actually twirls him by his tail and watches him twirl (definitely a stim like tendency) but she gets so much enjoyment and relaxation from Pony that he is a beloved part of our family and I’m always on the lookout for the right Pony when I’m out. I used to worry about this tendency in her until I read this about them…https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/neurology_neurosurgery/centers_clinics/pediatric-neurology/conditions/motor-stereotypies/motor-stereotypies.pdf
Love all the sweet pics of your girl! Just precious!
Oh, and when Andy leaves all of his toys to that little girl as heads off to college? Gets me every. single. time.
I love this! Those scenes from Inside Out and Toy Story 3 hit me in the same way.
There have been things that have become loved (my two girls, ages 10 and almost-5, still love their blankies… the ones for the younger being handmade), then there are things that I had hoped so much would become loved but then were tossed aside (stuffed animals or other toys). SIGH.
My littlest one, in his second year, loves the blankies I made him… in addition to my hair. He holds my braid while he’s nursing, falling asleep, etc. Won’t be cutting my hair anytime soon!
My oldest is rather sentimental, as well as being one of those tiny-shit-lovers, and she has a tendency to rediscover things as long as we don’t get rid of them because we have too much stuff. She has little bottles of gemstones (sort of like these, but I got them locally), a set of mini dolls (kind of like these worry dolls https://www.fairtradewinds.net/shop/worry-dolls/), various fairies, etc. that she loves.
It’s neat to see what catches their interest, what they come back to in their play, as they get older.
Have you ever read Let me Hold you Longer by Karen kingsbury ? You would love it
My nine year old son has Blankey and Monkey (self explanatory). Blankey has a favourite corner called Rubby, because it’s the one he likes to rub. He will happily take them on sleepovers and even pull them out when friends are over late and he needs some comfort. He also likes to touch a mole on my cheek he named Pokey (because he likes to poke it). He’ll give me a kiss and give Pokey a couple of rubs. I love all of it.
I love Nella and her wand! My son, almost five, has a “nit-nit” his favorite blanket. It’s old and grey where it should be white but he simply cannot sleep without it. Thank you for this post and for letting beautiful Nella be herself!
Crying.
I love how your whole family turned it into a fun thing instead of an annoying thing.
My son with DS is now 13 and his funny thing is to play Florida Georgia Line Music on his tablet, with headphones on, singing as loud as he can to music only he can hear – these kids! Love them so much!
My son’s comfort object was a white cotton diaper… the plain kind that would have to be folded to be an actual diaper. It’s name was Dipey. When Toy Story 3 came out my son and I saw it together just before he left for his sophomore year of college. I wept and my son totally understood why. It was a special moment for us.
Oh I love it…let me list Kirsta’s WAND-Like obsessions over 22 years….
TOOTHBRUSHES (yes they were bought as rewards for good behavior and they became people we played with and waved all over )
SPOONS (family and friends showed up with many from garage sales thanks Auntie Lynn)
POM-POMS (cheered tickled waved)
WANDS (Nella’s no fool, they’re the best!)
‘CHEWIES’ (Ordered in 10 packs over many years…rubber-like holders for pens that you put around your neck…pretty sure one still laying in a bush at McDonalds and a bush in Orlando)
SCARFIE-(really just a ratty old bathrobe tie)
They are our friends and it’s all just fine.
(Sorry Kelle, she brought scarfie to college, hidden in her backpack of course!)
I have a stuffed dog that was a gift when I was born. We were inseparable when I was little. I’m sure my parents thought I would grow out of it, and of course, in some ways I have. But I’m 27. And he’s still somewhere in my bed every night.
Love this. I’m so very glad Nella has a wand.
I cry every time that scene comes on! I did the flat out ugly cry the first time in the theater. I am so glad there are other mamas out there feeling the same way. My girls are 13 and 10 and my 10 year old still carries her two stuffed frogs ( gifts at birth) everywhere with her. Sleeps with them, watches cartoons with them, takes them for car rides, etc. She panicked the other night at bedtime when she couldn’t find “boy frog” and I could see the tears welling up at the anxiety she felt at the thought of losing him. I went from being annoyed to sad to happy when we found him. Made me realize that one day she won’t look for them anymore and while there are times I feel annoyed at her misplacing them, this is one of my most favorite phases and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I read everything you write and this might be the sweetest, most tender thing I have ever read. Also, I made the mistake of watching the video from Inside Out….now I need to balance myself out with some “texts gone wrong” humor.
Oh this made me tear up! All four of my kids have had/have lovies, and I have to say that I have become attached to all of their lovies as well! Sweet Brett making her a wand! What a wonderful dad he is! Kelle, your writing speaks to my soul!
I’m not a mom, but I teach elementary school and during my first year of teaching I fell in love with a little boy on the spectrum who, as a 5 year old, constantly had to hold something in his hands. That something couldn’t be heavy but had to feel substantial. It had to have texture but not hurt if he squeezed it when he was upset or scared. Nothing that made noise. Nothing with things that moved unintentionally.
He’s in 6th grade now and I moved 500 miles away almost 4 years ago, but I can’t pass a toy store with a display of tiny shit and trinkets without trying them all to see if any of them would pass the test.
seriously loving the wand!!! my childhood lovievwas a stuffed gizmo from the movie gremlins. I carried him everywhere! his fur is now matted and his eyes are scratched, but his squeaker inside still works! my 37 year old sister still ribs a silky piece ribbon, aka ribb, every single day and night.
Cards. Lots and lots of cards. Eliza loves to touch them, watch them fall, and them pick them up again. I tried to give her new cards for Christmas but she cried when we talked about getting rid of the old cards—most of which have lost their shape and color. So we kept them.
Love love love this! Such a sweet reminder of the simple joys in life. I love seeing nella with her wand and thought it was precious how you made her party around it! For me it will probably be my daughters teddy. It’s one of those light up ones that also play music. My dad bought it for her for her first Christmas. She was terrified of the car at night because she felt alone. She was only 4 months old. Since then she has slept with it every night. Once I saw she was getting attached to it I stopped using the music and lights knowing that one day they would stop working and I was going to have that panic parenting hunt to find another one only to find they no longer make them! When she was 1 we went to Michigan to visit my in laws and I did the unthinkable. I FORGOT TEDDY!! So after a horrible first night off to toys r us we went! I thankfully found the very last one in the store and found out they were discontinued. My plan was to keep it as a back up when we got home. But she now sleeps with both. She knows that one lights up and the other doesn’t. Which not lighting up has been a life savor because I can now wash it because umm ewww haha. It’s so sweet to see them grow up loving something! They even have a hashtag together on Instagram so I can find all the pictures for a chat book later #Briarlovesteddy
And if it never retires completely? That’s good too. My raggedy-Ann baby blanket never got tucked away in a box. In fact 41 years of living and 18!years of marriage later, it still stays tucked under my pillow most nights. And the nights when it isn’t? One of my kids have requested to sleep with it to help them not feel afraid. It’s been snuggled so dang many years by mom and is so full of memories and love that I’m pretty sure borrowing it to sleep with makes them feel like I am hugging them all night.
Beautifully written as always, magical & full of joy. This made me think, not just about my children, but also about me & my sister. Mine was a blanket, once lemon & silk bound but eventually a dingy beige, I called it Badda & it was truly loved. My sister’s was a pebble that was shaped like a nest & was filled with tiny stones, she took it everywhere, even into exams, it now sits on her desk & has become a worry stone during her husband’s long illness. Our younger daughter saw ‘My Girl’ when she was five & desperately wanted a Veda ring, it was serendipity that we found one in shop when we went in to ask directions. She still loves it & if her baby, who is due in late spring, is a girl she’ll be Veda.
At 18 years old I still sleep with my baby blanket. It has gone around the world and back with me, and will continue to do so until it’s just too fragile to take anywhere.
LOVE THIS POST and sweet Nella! My almost 16 year old son slept with his baby blanket until he was 14 when we moved to India. My almost 16 year old daughter still sleeps with a pink bear from her 6th birthday (before that she had other stuffies she loved so hard they fell apart). My 4 little ones have had more temporary loves that rotate often. But all of our stuffies, toys, and books got ruined during their shipment back from India and it was oh so sad. I cried as hard as my kids did! Luckily, time and new toys can heal all wounds :). My little Macy (with DS) is just 10 days old now and I hope someday she has a magic wand!
I think you have a beautiful idea for a children’s book on your hands! I can clearly see ‘Where’s My Wand?’, with its message of joy, acceptance and family, on a bookstore shelf!
reading the comments made me have this wonderful flashback of a memory. I’d been so focused thinking about my kids attachments I’d forgotten my own. I had a very worn out and very loved doll named Chrissy. She, obviously, went everywhere with me, including the family station wagon when we moved across the country. One morning, as we packed up our car for the millionth time in a motel parking lot, I saw my dad with a horrible look on his face…grim/horrified/panic all at once, taking apart the car methodically pulling every suitcase, cooler, and backpack out one by one. . My 7 year old self bopped up to him, and cheerfully asked what was wrong. He sat me down and with tears in his eyes said “I can’t find Chrissy. I’m so sorry, but I just can’t find her anywhere “. I remember in that moment thinking that seeing my dad that upset was way worse than losing my doll. I told him it was ok, and we hugged about my lost friend. (Dang, I’m balling right now!). Chrissy turned up eventually, and I still have her. But now when I see her, instead of thinking about how much I loved her, I remember how much my dad loved (loves!) me.
I was smiling through tears while reading about the joy the wand has brought to your entire family, but man these comments are making me ugly cry!
My boys are only 2 so we likely have years of attachment items ahead of us, but one of them MUST have his ee-ee (monkey- because that’s what a monkey says 😉 with him at all times. He carries it with him as if it is part of him. I hope he always does. 🙂
When I see Nella’s smile with that wand it makes me smile. It reminds me it’s the little things in life. ????
My 7 year old daughter has a lovie bunny. The same bunny she has had since she was a baby. She is still so attached, and I love it! She still sleeps with her bunny. She takes it everywhere in the car, but leaves it in her seat, even when going to school. It has been everywhere we’ve ever been. I will forever cherish the memories of her bunny! ????????????
My youngest had a “chinese jacket”. It was actually a traditional vietnamese suit – but he just LOVED the shiny red and gold jacket. He wore it almost every single day in kindergarten and told us he was a “chinese spy”. We have many Asian friends and I worried we might be offending someone – but they assured me we were not. It got too small and frayed as the seams stretched. In grade one he only wore it at home (his choice) and then he couldn’t fit it at all. He asked for a new one for Christmas but we could only find a black and gold one. By the time he opened it on Christmas – it had lost his magic – and he never really wore the new black one. I still have the little frayed red one in a memory box.
My 20 month old daughter, Sunny, has a “kiki”. It’s one of those little squares of fabric with silky edges. We used to call it “silky” because of how it felt, but when she tried to say it, it came out “kiki” so that’s what it’s become! She sleeps with it every night and carries it around like Linus and his blanket.
By the way, I’ll forever think of Nella every time I see a ribbon wand!
Thank you for this. I needed the perspective. Our precious baby boy is almost four years old and is special needs with multiple motor planning and sensory issues. He has never been attached to anything, until recently. He got a Paw Patrol game for Christmas. It has a play mat and four of the show characters we thought he would enjoy playing with. Never in my wildest dreams did I think his “lovey” would come out of the box for this game. He carries the empty game box everywhere with him. It goes in our car when we leave. It sits by him at the table and gets hauled into restaurants. He just sits and smiles at it often and does not go anywhere without it. I asked him recently why he likes his box. His response: “It makes me happy!” His response brought me to tears and I no longer view it as just an empty box. It shows me that we can all find happiness where we least expect it. Our box is never empty. I can just fill it up with something else that brings me joy. In this case, the love I have for this special boy that everyday is teaching me more about life and myself than I ever knew was possible. I will never look a tattered, worn and flattened box the same again!
This reminds me of my sister & her “Woody” leg. She is 24 years old, with DS, and has had Woody’s (yes, Woody from Toy Story) leg by her side every day for probably the last 18 years. It started out as the whole Woody doll, and over time he fell apart & became just the “leg.” We now have multiple legs on standby, and every few months it gets a facelift with some new jeans, maybe some designer thread sown into the side, but that thing is NEVER leaving her side!
Love this post! My daughter’s lovey is a stuffed catepillar that is about 2 ft long, my MIL bought her when she was an infant. She was always a happy content baby (now we know she has Aspergers with High functioning autism) she really didn’t care for toys but this excited her. It was the first object/thing that interested or excited her. She has slept with it every day since. That poor catepilar (Pilar ????)has barely any stuffing because we have had to wash him (even though he is all pastel with a pink face my daughter at age 2 insisted Pilar was a boy, lol. These are my proud moments ????)But Pilar is still alive and well and spends the day in bed while my daughter is at school, as soon as she gets home she strips immediatly along with all the school gear and heads straight for Pilar. But she knows that Pilar stays home, but that means one of the many, MANY stuffed animals, one must come along on any car ride. Love how it has become Nella’s thang that her loved ones enjoy surprising her with them. That is stuffed animals and my daughter, and she has a tough time letting go because she remembers each person who gave them to her. And people LOVE to get them for her because of how much she loves them. We’ve resorted to storing them in zip bean bag chair cases ????
Hi Kelle,
Love the post as always! ❤️How do I find your playlists on Spotify? I just downloaded Spotify on my phone. I wanted to get your Christmas playlist as well – but not sure how to do this. ????Thank you~!
Just figured it out!! ????
Our little girl (who just became a mama herself) had several dolls as a child, but none ever compared to”Aanie Girl”. Aanie had real doll hair and eyes that opened and shut. Petie (our Adria’s nickname) and Aanie went everywhere together and eventually her hair became a dirty rats nest. I’ll never forget the morning when my big, strong carpenter husband got a comb, a jar of Vaseline, shampoo and a towel and decided he was going to comb out and wash that mass of crazy hair! Seeing him lay that doll, head back on the sink for a shampoo was something I’ll never forget! : ) Then there was the night he searched all over outside with a flashlight looking for Aanie who’d gone missing. Our Petie could not go to sleep without her… he found her on the top of the slide. We displayed that beloved doll on the table at her graduation and it got a lot of smiles from guests who’d long forgotten about their magical relationship many years before.
Kleenex.
That was my daughter’s go to. Every night, she would smooth it out on her pillow-just so- then lay her check on it, pop in her thumb and stroke the Kleenex until she drifted off to sleep. If we were traveling or in a pinch, toilet paper would have to make do, but I always bout the softest Kleenex I could find. I don’t recall when she gave it up, it faded like the Bing Bong memory. But I always see her beautiful sleeping face in my mind with a little square of Kleenex.
My first niece had a blanket named Pink. She still has it and she’s 11. My nephew, now 5, has a bear named Barnaby. He sleeps with him, and occasionally travels with him, but he mostly stays home where he is safe. But he is critical to him.
I still have the item I was attached to as a child. My mother gave me a doll that was hers when I was born. Her name is Crissy. She is a Ideal Blessed Event Kiss Me doll from the 1950s, and she is NOT pretty. I dare you to look her up. My nieces and nephew don’t like her and have asked me to put her away when they are around. (she sits on the guest bed) She was my constant companion when I was a child.
I still look on her with love, I am glad that I kept her and that she is safe (even in my closet). She reminds me of my mother, and my grandmother – who had to scrimp to save enough money to give her to my mother. And my mother kept her to give to me. So she is something special that I will always cherish.
I just bawl my eyes out every time I watch that scene with Andy! My little girl has a stuffed puppy named Blackie Whitey. Blackie Whitey is a family member and goes everywhere, and is always in the family photos. Recently on a Magic Kingdom trip for Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween, she (Blackie Whitey) was lost. It was after 10 at night, we were standing in front of the castle watching the Sanderson Sisters when we realized she was missing. My entire family went into a panic. My husband, brother, and I winding through the crowd with the lights on or phones searching to no avail. My little girl and I backtracked to the last ride when we went on. Both of us in tears at this point, and I was wondering how she would recover if we did not find her. We approached a cast member. My little girl describing her pup…”She’s an old girl, black and white with a blue collar (beaded bracelet she loops her wrist through to tote her around), and I can’t live my life without her!” The cast member told us she would keep her eyes open. We went on searching and came back down the path to see Blackie Whitey strategically placed on top of a box underneath a bright light with the cast member. We raced to the pup, my little girl crying the happiest tears. I’m sobbing uncontrollably, hugging the cast member and thanking her. She told us that she lost her favorite stuffed animal as a child and how sad it made her, so she went searching and found her on a path. The cast member said she could tell how much the pup was loved. That cast member was my hero! We talk about how one day we will keep Blackie Whitey as carefully as the Declaration of Independence. I love the shadow box ideas!
My Joci (11) has her lovies. They are the same. Two little bear heads with lavender blanket bodies and bells in their heads. She started with one as a gift when she was a newborn. The youngest of four, she is the only one to be attached to an item. We quickly realized we needed to track down another one so that she would have a clean Lovey with her while the other got washed. And thank goodness for that bc we lost a Lovey while out of town. We had the back up and she had no idea that it wasn’t the one she had just been holding. We’ve lost one too at Target and it took my husband and I a few hours of searching every inch of Target and asking customer service if we could see video from the parts of the store we had been in to find it. (Thank you Naples Target for saying Yes to us looking at the video and then Thank you to the employee who radioed up front saying no need to watch bc she just found Lovey…in the back…on a pile of stuff to be thrown out.) I cried when Lovey was lost (I mean, he was now alone!) and cried when we got him back (he was safe!!). As a new baby, she cried after her naps to alert us that she was awake. Then came the times when she wouldn’t cry anymore and would instead announce that her nap was over by shaking her Lovey and we’d hear it through the monitor. Once she was no longer in her crib, she would stand at the top of the stairs and shake her Lovey in an announcement of being awake. Her Lovies now cohabit her bed together. One is no longer left in storage waiting to take his place while the other gets a bath. She will sometimes grab them and come snuggle with me in my bed. And when I shake her sheets and hear that jingle?…it’s everything. My heart bursts with memories of our adventures with Lovey and how her chubby baby hands held tight to Lovey…around his neck.
Once when my son was small and was carrying his blankie through a deli, a woman stopped me to tell me how much her son loved his blankie. And when he was 5 she threw it in the garbage and he watched in sadness as the garbage men took it away. They have to grow up she said. I wanted to find her now adult man son and give him a hug. At that moment I decided to never take their lovies away. Life is hard enough already right? Let them keep the lovies.
Hi Kelle,
You may already know but in case you don’t… If you put a swivel hook like fishing poles have on them to attach the ribbon to the stick it doesn’t get tangled as easily. I am a dance teacher and use the ribbon wands in class every day, the swivel is a lifesaver.
There is so much love in your blog, thanks for sharing.
kellee
https://www.amazon.com/100pcs-Barrel-Swivel-Connector-Fishing/dp/B00AEGE9C0/ref=sr_1_19?ie=UTF8&qid=1517516916&sr=8-19&keywords=swivel+for+fishing+rod
You are my hero!! Thank you so much for this!
That photo of Nella playing with her wand and holding her bunny….PRICELESS.
Toy Story 3 – All the tears. All the time.
All 3 of my kids have something they have become attached to. My oldest is 10 and she has Pig. Pig is a random stuffed animal purchased at Kohls when she was not quite 2. He’ been stitched up a few times but she is obsessed with him still. And all soft blankets – give her all the blankets.
My oldest son, 8, has Squishy, a Gund stuffed lamb that used to say a creepy sounding version of the “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep” prayer. We have 3 actually but only one is the true Squishy. His love for Squishy was immediate and happened around 6 months old. Since I knew it was special I bought 2 more. For years they were interchangeable and then one day they weren’t. That’s when Squishy came to be.
My youngest is 4. He has lovingly named his crib blanket (that was also used by his older brother) Big B. Big B is LIFE. In his eyes, no other blankets compare to this one.
Purple Baba. A purple stuffed lamb who went everywhere with my toddler. When it became obvious that Baba would be a long time favourite, I purchased a second Baba as a back up, and alternated them so they would each have equal wear and tear. Long after Baba was placed on a shelf (in a spot to be revered), I came across Backup Baba and showed it to my now teen. She was silent, for what seemed like an eternity, and then looked at me and simply asked, “Who knew?”
Wands and simple joys, I always want to remember these things. And Bing Bong, oh ma god, that scene kills me, every time. Thanks for sharing your story.
I slept with a snoopy stuffed animal up until I was… way too old. 🙂 It’s now safely tucked away in my closet because my husband won’t allow it in our bed. Ha.
Have you read “Knuffle Bunny Free”? OMG. I cried reading it to my third graders.
Oh gosh, yes. I have SO many hangups about cherished things, but especially stuffed animals. I wrote a few months ago about my own heartbreak over my younger son’s lost stuffed chicken (I linked to it) and how much baggage I know that I have about these things. Somehow it doesn’t go away, does it? If the kids step on a stuffed animal, even now, I wince and ask them not to. It’s totally bananas, but I’m sensitive that way.
That’s amazing. I love how children appreciate the little things. And how we can learn from them in so many ways like enjoying these little things.
My daughter’s name is Noella and she is in love with baby dolls. They always have to be tucked in and asleep. She’ll even shush me if im being too loud around them.
Plus, wands make for some gorgeous photos. I have my own ‘lovie.’ And I’m 32. It’s a shred of a blanky and I still sleep with it. The other day my husband suggested I share it with the baby and I was like uh NO. I share EVERYTHING with her, most of all my beleaguered nipples, but the blankie is mine.
Love Love Love this!! I can picture Brett in the garage making more wands.
I especially loved this: ” Or the old lady in the grocery store who saw Nella twirling her wand in the condiment aisle and left her cart for a moment to come dance in the loops of the ribbon, laughing and twirling her hands above her.” How sweet xo
Kelle, I love this post so much! I actually think it’s one of your finest!! So wistful and loving!
The last photo of Nella is so breath-taking. And so is her wand story. Beauty.
Just sitting here, eating my breakfast, tears rolling down my cheeks. This was so beautiful.
Such a beautiful post! When my daughter Beth was 2, she was given a Linus doll (one of the Peanuts characters) And little did we know that doll would go everywhere with our family. Linus was with her in the hospital when she got her tonsils out, he slept with her snuggled deep under the covers and he can even be seen in my blog post header, on a family road trip. Then one day I spotted him up high on a shelf in her room. (Even now as I write this I’m getting emotional.) She no longer needed Linus to keep her company. After sitting up there a few years I took him down and put him in her memory box. The end of an era. Now Beth likes to snuggle with her boyfriend Nick! They’re both in their 30s! 🙂
Took the survey, answered all the questions. But this? This is why I love reading your blog.
Try taking your 18-year-old son, who started loving Toy Story a couple of years after it released as a little guy of 6 and is about to embark on his college years, along with your 8-year-old son to the theater to see Toy Story 3. My husband and I kept peeping at each other to see how we were taking it. Not well. Not well at all. Now all those Toy Story characters are in a box waiting for their new playmates. 😉
I am one that saw a wand in a store and thought of Nella (it was a rainbow ribbon!) Thank you for sharing this was beautiful.
My daughter turns 8 this week and still sleeps with her Monty every night. Monty is a stuffed knit monkey that she received as a party favor at a 1st birthday party when she was also 1. Monty is tattered and worn out, with 1,000 sewn on patches, but she still sleeps with every single night. I fear the day when Monty loses a leg or is irreparable, but for now, he keeps going strong.