Mamahood Archives - Enjoying the Small Things

What I’ve Learned from a Ribbon Wand

January 31, 2018 By Kelle

It was an afterthought really—one last thing to put in her Easter basket last year, and it wasn’t until the thrill of the chocolate bunny and the jelly beans wore off that she even bothered to notice the ribbon wand that was still tucked into shreds of pink paper grass in the back of her basket. But it didn’t take long for her to love it, to find her early in the morning on the landing in front of our entryway where sunshine spills in like stage lights and where there is just enough room between the walls for her to freely twirl her wand while the ribbon dances in mesmerizing loops.

It’s been ten months now, and the wonder of the wand has only grown in strength.

“Where’s my wand?” she asks as she shuffles out of bed, eyes half-closed, before the sun rises.

“Where’s my wand?” she asks as the van door glides open for school pick-up and she climbs in, tossing her back pack on the floor.

“Where’s my wand?” she cries, frustrated, when she’s circled the house three times and still can’t find it.

I’ll admit, I was worried for a minute there. It’s not necessarily fair to her, but sometimes because of Down syndrome, I look at things through a different lens. Is she too obsessed? Is this attachment going to be a hurdle for her later? Is the way she shakes the wand stimming? (likely.) Are friends going to think she’s the weird “wand girl”?

And here’s what I’ve concluded: If weird wand girl is wrong, then I don’t want her to be right. On her own (because she’s smart like that), she drops the wand when she knows it’s not appropriate. Hands it to me when I ask for it, leaves it in the car for school, (hesitantly) turns it in for a consequence when she hasn’t followed directions. It hasn’t distracted from things that are important like learning and socializing (her friends love the wand) and paying attention.

Mostly, it does this magical thing though…it brings her joy.

It unlocks a little whimsy in her, encourages lyrical movement, provides a little comfort (like a lovie).

And then there are the bonuses. Like watching Brett get all excited when he’s figured out a way to fashion a new wand—a better wand—out of a dowel rod and some ribbon. I’ve found him in the garage, drilling holes into sticks, threading ribbon through—ribbon he picked out just for her, mind you, at a….wait for it…fabric store.

“Just wait, this one’s going to be her favorite,” he tells me with boyish enthusiasm that makes me want to renew our vows right there in the garage with the heap of Goodwill bags and broken lawn mower behind us.

Or there’s the day she was crying when a friend was over, and the little friend who said to her mama, “I’m going to make her a wand to make her happy.”

Or the old lady in the grocery store who saw Nella twirling her wand in the condiment aisle and left her cart for a moment to come dance in the loops of the ribbon, laughing and twirling her hands above her.

Or the readers who’ve found wands in store aisles across the country and have taken the time to take a picture and send it to me with a little “Thought of Sweet Nella” message.

Or the way she stands next to Gary, patient as ever, waiting while he untangles the 300 knots that have accumulated in the ribbons from all that twirling.

Or my precious Lainey who said the other day, “We should make Nella a Valentine wand.”

Or the swell of happiness I felt the night I stayed up before Christmas to hot glue peacock feathers on felt and braid thin ribbons into long strands to make another wand—I wand I knew she’d love—for a gift.

“Oh, so you think your wand can top my wand?” Brett teased.

The wand has brought a little magic to our family, and that makes me happy.

I know there will come a day—just as they’ve come for the blankets our kids clutched every night as toddlers, and the plush puppies they dragged through stores, and the favorite bunnies that were loved so hard, their whiskers fell off—that the wand will be forgotten, rolled under the bed with the dust bunnies and the lone sock that’s too small.

She will let go and find new things to delight her.

But I’ll never see a wand in life and not think of these years, these snap shots in my mind of her twirling in the sunshine at the front door, or my family hustling to find her favorite wand when it’s lost, or their efforts to make a new one for her, more beautiful than the last…and remember how wonderful it is to get lost in little things that delight us.

P.S. Most of our favorite wands are ones we’ve made ourselves or that have been made for us, but we do love this one we bought from Amazon and this one from Anthropologie.

Do you remember that scene in Inside Out when Bing Bong lets go so Joy’s wagon can make it up the wagon? And he fades away while memories of her as a little girl with him replay? I don’t think there’s ever been a scene in an animated movie that hit me in the motherhood jugular more (close second, when Andy leaves his toys in Toy Story 3 to go to college). I literally shook in the theater, tears rolling down my cheeks, thinking of all the little things my kids have loved and what a special place they will always hold in our family’s heart.

Does your child have a lovie or a cherished thing that will bring back all the feels someday? Do tell.

Nella and Maude

January 13, 2016 By Kelle

From the day their little Amazon boxes landed with a thump at our doorstep, Kiki and Coco in Paris and Lulu & Pip have been Nella’s favorite books. Filled with gorgeous photographs of a girl and her doll and accompanying stories of their adventures together, both of these books have been well-read in our home–taking “first chair” in our bookshelf orchestra beside the bed and first pick for take-along books on trips. Our copies have withstood road trips and have entertained our kids from restaurants here in Naples to pre-bed rituals in Poppa’s Michigan cottage. Inspired by these books and Nella’s love for them, I’ve been wanting to do a personal writing/photography project and turn it into a book for Nella about her own adventures with a toy/doll. Christmas break finally gave us the time to do it, and it turned out to be one of my favorite projects yet. Lainey and I started with shooting around some story ideas, following the conflict/resolution pattern in Kiki and Coco and Lulu & Pip; planned what the story photos should look like; and then set out for several days around town, capturing our adventures and having so much fun in the process. Once we edited a slew of photos, we arranged them in photo editing software and began to add some meat to the bones of our story. It turned out to be a great writing exercise to share with Lainey and a meaningful gift for Nella. The entire family has been impatiently waiting for the final product, Nella & Maude, to hit our doorstop, and once we heard that thump? We ran.

The result? A happy girl.

Several asked on Instagram if they can purchase this book. This entire project was a personal creative itch, an opportunity to make Nella really happy, and is inspired by another book and artist who already did this theme and did it well. So, I’d encourage you to buy Kiki & Coco or Lulu & Pip, read them with your kids and–especially if you’re a photographer–let them inspire you like it did us to create your own story with photographs of your kids.

If you’re interested in doing a similar project, I’ll give you a few details and tips I discovered through making ours. There are several companies that can produce this sort of book. I chose Artifact Uprising for their quality, the size and orientation I wanted and the user-friendly book composition guide they offer. We made their 8.25 x 11 vertical hardback book (lemon yellow cover with a paper jacket), chose the 50-page option and cut it down to 40 pages total (based on several children’s books I researched, the amount of photos we wanted to use and the fact that this book option requires minimum of 40 pages). I did the layout and text myself for the cover, back and each page in my photo editing software so I could have full control of how it would look.

I used a lot of vertical photos to fill one side of a spread, some horizontal to take up an entire spread as well as clusters of photos organized together on a page, leaving part of the page blank for text. When taking photos, I thought a lot about space and color. Leaving lots of negative space in a composition is great for text–dark space for white text, light space for black text.

Example: Putting Nella to the left in this composition and leaving lots of blue sky to the right created a nice space where lots of white text could be placed on the page.

For one-photo full spreads like the one below….

I had to cut the original photo in half and place each half on one 8.25 x 11 page. Again, that big span of blurred-out negative space on the left creates a great place against which text can stand out.

As for writing the story and putting the layouts together, it helps if you have lots of photos to work with. If you’re taking pictures of a scene at the ice cream shop, think of ALL THE THINGS. Take close-ups of the ice cream, get wide angle views, use different perspectives, take pictures of the ice cream being scooped, your kid looking through the glass at the flavors, the scoop that fell on the floor. They make for great engaging photos for kids and help illustrate your story well.

Fun writing lessons for incorporating older kids in the process:

Descriptions.

Lainey was great at adding adjectives and describing scenes. I had one sentence that started with “Nella dipped Maude into the water…” and Lainey pointed out, “you didn’t describe the water.”

“Okay, how should I describe it?” I asked.

“You could say salty water.”

“Very well, then. Salty water it is, dear editor.”

Switching Overused Words.

She was also great at suggesting other words besides “says.” Exclaims, adds, asks, whispers, announces. Now if only I can get her to edit my use of “beautiful” and “little” :o)

Onomatopoeia.

My dad called while we were working on the book and insisted it include onomatopoeia because “kids love that stuff.” So we dug through the text and looked for a good place where it would fit. We ended up finding a place where Nella was walking in the water along the beach, and Lainey suggested her feet made a “slap, slap, slap” sound. Very well then, dear editor. Slap, slap, slap it is.

Story Lines and Directing Scenes.

When we were thinking of what we could do for conflict in the story, I suggested something at the beach because–well, that’s what we have for location shoots. Lainey decided Maude should drift out to sea and be rescued. “And I can be the lifeguard who saves her because we have that lifeguard boogie board!”

I won’t bore you with the entire book, but I’ll give you some of my favorite shots in it:

Lainey has a serious problem with these next pictures in the book because it’s supposed to be a night time scene, and we shot it during the day for light. “Nobody’s going to think that’s really night time,” she’s pointed out numerous times.

And my favorite scene in the book…

This was such a fun project for us, and the kids are already planning sequels–Nella & Maude in Michigan–and other combinations for each of them–Lainey and her blanket, Dash and his dinosaur.

And while this won’t be a published option for children’s books for me, it did scratch an itch that’s turned into a massive creative rash…something in the children’s literature theme is calling.

Summer Dreams: 4 Ways to Make a Summer Bucket List

May 20, 2015 By Kelle

Technically, I’m not a list girl. I make grocery lists and lose them, type Christmas lists and veer away from them and write to-do lists only to leave most of the tasks undone. But there’s something motivating about writing the list itself. It’s an exhale, a first step and, in the case of gratitude lists and bucket lists, an extremely satisfying creative exercise. Every year before Thanksgiving, I make a list of what we need for dinner. That one usually actually makes it to the grocery store, but more than anything, writing the list–usually with coffee in hand and a pile of cookbooks near me–serves to stir up holiday excitement–a prequel to the sensory experience of tasting gravy, peeling apples and clinking wine glasses.

Summer bucket lists are the same for us. It’s less about pressure to do the things we put on the list and more about marrying my kids’ enthusiasm for fun and family and adventure with my own childhood memories. And it’s a great way to put all our ideas in one place. I’m notorious for throwing out the names of movies I want to see, but when we actually sit down and Brett says “pick a movie,” I can’t think of anything to watch. Summer adventures are the same way. Write them all down early at the beginning of the summer so you don’t have to scramble for ideas later.

Here are four different ways to make a summer bucket list this year:

Scrapbook Summer Bucket List

Using any old scrapbook or even a homemade one hole-punched and tied with yarn, space your summer bucket list items out with room for a photo above them. This gives your family an extra fun challenge of documenting your memories throughout the summer. As you fulfill your bucket list items, take pictures of your adventures, print them and tape into place in your scrapbook. Instant film cameras (we have this Fujifilm Instax camera) make this list much easier to complete. Or you can send your photos to print and ship straight from your phone with many different companies’ print apps. We’ve used Social Print Studio which prints tiny squares and ships incredibly quick.

Keep It Simple

If summer bucket lists overwhelm you or if you’re working a lot through the summer, keep it simple by making a small doable list one week at a time and display it somewhere your family can see it–the kitchen counter or dinner table. Your list doesn’t have to include “whittle birch branches into medieval swords and host a neighborhood castle party” to make it a good bucket list. Think small and meaningful–a family moon walk, microwave s’mores, eat breakfast for dinner. When I want to feel super productive, sometimes I put everyday things on lists just so I can cross them out: Take a shower. Drink coffee. CHECK! CHECK! Look at me, gettin’ ‘er done. Kids love visual reminders and crossing things off too. So go ahead, put “read two books before bed” and “paint nails a pretty summery pink” on that weekly list even if you were already planning on doing them.

Grab Bag Bucket

This is a great way to inject a little mystery into the game–you never know what you’re going to pull out. At the beginning of the summer, have your kids help you write bucket list items down on slips of paper, fold them up and throw them into an actual bucket.

Take turns throughout the week–after dinner, on a rainy afternoon, on a wide open Saturday–pulling slips out, reading them aloud and fulfilling them together.

Scout’s Vest

This is how we’re fulfilling our Michigan summer bucket list this year, and we can’t wait. Here’s the thing. We tried Girl Scouts last year, but we missed so many meetings and couldn’t keep up with everything else going on. We loved the meetings we did have but, you know….life. The vest though. We never got the damn vest. We are going to reclaim it, summer style. I thought of this early this year and started collecting iron-on patches, going on mad searches for rare ones, anything that fit our summer plans–and I found them! I found tiny s’mores patches and lighthouse patches, a doughnut for our breakfast-on-the-pontoon-boat dreams and even a Mackinac Island one. I’m sure you can easily make a sash with a strip of fabric, or they have inexpensive ones here.

As we knock off our bucket list items, we’ll iron on corresponding patches, and the kids will get to wear their summer scout sashes and have a wonderful memento from our road trip.

We found most of our patches on Amazon including movie night, catching a fish, doughnut breakfast, flying kites, kayaking, corn on the cob, and campfire.

Would I be a big dork if I made one too? They don’t have my size.

While we wait for summer, we have desks to clean out, classroom parties to plan and a few more lunches to make. I’m so excited for not having to pack lunches soon!

Woman Crush Wednesday will return next week.