When, in the ever present tide of Ebb & Flow, my creativity and zest (or lack thereof) is dwelling too long in the Ebb regions, I know what I need.

I need to reprioritize. Take time off. I need a day like this. I need to pull out my favorite apron, bake a cherry pie, make cookies with my girl. I need to chop parsley and sqeeze lemon and simmer lentils on the stove. I need to buy a new candle for my kitchen, mist spearmint pillow spray on my sheets. I need to vacuum and mop and change the quilt on my bed. I need to put on Diana Krall and have people over for cocktails and use the good dishes.

And just writing about it is reopening the current.

I began this morning with the simplest of things. Lipstick and the good perfume. My favorite necklace and a pretty headband. Because it makes me feel good. And every time I make the effort to get out of yoga pants, I get more done.

And while I have big plans these next couple weeks to dig back into the kitchen and the pleasures of home, I am in the meantime…enjoying the small things.

Beginning with…

Tights. I love them. Even though we can only wear them inside with the air-conditioning this time of year. But I love baby feet covered in snug cotton. And Lainey has about a trillion old pairs waiting for her little sister.

Morning Baths. The light above the bathtub is so inviting early in the morning, and Nella is entranced just to lie there, belly bubbled over the water line and her hands just a splashin’. Bathing my babies is like gardening for me–stress relieving work. The sudsing and the rinsing and the massaging little toes…it does something to me.

Letting Go. I brought a huge bag of baby clothes down from the attic this week, sorted through what I wanted, tucked the other ones neatly back in the bag, sealed it up and, ten minutes later, walked back to this:

Apparently, Lainey wasn’t through with it. And so I just walked away. Just left it sitting there for two days. Because that’s how we roll.

The Return of Dress-Up. Lainey goes in phases. She’ll play with her kitchen for a week and then want nothing to do with it for a month. She hadn’t touched her dress-up stuff in awhile and I was about to put it away when suddenly, last week, she can’t get enough. Every time I turn my head she’s changed.

Nella’s Contentment. She’s just heaven. Complete dessert. Happy to be with us and even more thrilled to be part of the activities. She kicks and splashes like a fish in the pool. She gets all wide-eyed and excited with new toys. And she is electric when her mama and daddy are loving on her.

Excursions. I had a photoshoot last night an hour away. Way out in the middle of nowhere in between fields and woods and the occasional crossing deer. I took the girls with me as I knew Lainey would be thrilled to see horses and farmland and big open fields. That she did. On the way there, she said “Look Mama, that cloud looks like a bunny,” and Dude, my kid knows what she’s talkin’ about.

We saw deer, right up close…

…and got to spend a little time with the sweetest family ever who loved on my girls and had a cowboy hat all ready for Lainey to wear.

Scavenger Hunts. Along with rekindling my kitchen loves and homey pleasures, I’m picking up more picnics and tea parties and outside adventures with my girl. It feeds my soul. So, we set out for a scavenger hunt this week. I gave her a list of things to find–two pinecones, three smooth rocks, one stick, a piece of tree bark–and she intently searched the woods to find them and tuck them away in her suitcase.

Yes, feeding my soul. And looking forward to the next couple weeks where I want to burrow a little deeper into our happy place. Perhaps there will be pie. And homemade bread. And maybe even a pot of lentil soup.

But, I promise, there will be lots of small things enjoyed.

All the windows of my heart I open to the day. ~John Greenleaf Whittier

Enjoying…

The Return of Bob & Sally
Bob & Sally are Lainey’s fish. Bob is orange. Sally is yellow. We’ve had them since pre-Nella. Until about a month ago when Lainey comes running in the kitchen laughing, “Hey, Bob & Sally seepin’ upside down.” And we look at each other and stifle our laughs because “sleeping upside down” means one thing in fish language. Sure enough, we followed her over to the tank where she taps the glass, smiles and says, “Him just restin’.” Restin’ he was. In peace. So, the fish met the sewer while we scurried to get new ones.

And, they’re back. Along with a little cleaner fish that has strangely disappeared a couple days ago. He’s just gone. We have no idea where.

Summer Crafts
Give my girl some pom poms and pipe cleaners and you’ve got yourself a permanent shy smile. With a little help from the glue gun, we made Leo and Henry yesterday, a lion and tiger respectively. And she slept with them last night. Consequently, Henry lost an ear in the night and Leo woke up this morning with one less eye than he went to bed with. They must have had some badass fight in the night.

Summer Feet
It’s poetic. The contrast of pure skin and baby pudge and little pea toes that fill the canvas of lush summer grass behind them with this smattering of white kyllinga weeds. It’s just so…summer.

Anytime Feet
Because, let’s face it…you don’t need summer grass for baby feet to be delicious, especially when they are lit by the morning sun and they are trimmed with soft cotton stripes. And they are see-sawing up and down and up and down as she thrusts them again and again with little forceful grunts, her grand finale ending with curled-toe rest and a sigh. It filled me up so much, I skipped breakfast.

Or, may I suggest the Sling-Dangle Feet, another menu choice and equally delicious.

Summer Piles of Crap
And by Summer Piles of Crap, I really just mean Piles of Crap…it’s just that the Summer preface makes it sound purposeful when really it’s just another day finding heaps of meaningless clutter in my house. Like I forgot to flick the garbage disposal on for all those shrimp tails I flung in the sink last night. And there’s about a hundred and fifty flash cards fanned out on my carpet…

…and the evidence of Lainey learning how to use kid scissors is in the kitchen. Not to mention the magazine I was saving to read in a hot bath tonight is now a shredded mess.

Small (but Large) Feats
Nella is a Toy Rockstar, reaching them, clutching them, biting them, and trading them from hand to hand like she’s been doin’ it all her life. Consequently, there are strings of plastic rings hooked to my purse, the diaper bag, the car seat handle…

And today, with just the support of a boppy at her base and some cheering from Mama and her therapist, she gave us a beautiful, erect sitting position for a full one-one-thousand, two-one-thousand, three-one-thousand before she started to wobble.

So, what? She’s a rockstar. She’s got her rock moves.




Summer Driveway Afternoons
Florida summers are hot. I’m not gonna lie. But, they bother me less and less. In fact, there’s something satisfying–something organically right about spending afternoons in the heat, barefoot with glistening skin. And once the sun has dropped past our woods, it becomes pure pleasure to sit in beach chairs drinkin’ beer, holdin’ babies, wavin’ to neighbors, wipin’ chalk off our hands from outlining Lainey’s fifteenth body sketch and watching as she fills it in with two eyes, a nose, a curved little mouth, one belly-button…and two perfect chalk boobs.

Oh, and she dribbles…because she’s a rockstar. She’s got her rock moves.

And then there’s just the Essense of Summer…
I don’t know if it’s that this summer really does have more to offer or if I’m just in a different place to notice it all, but I’m drinking summer in like a thirsty toddler sippin’ water from the hose. It’s refreshing. And everything seems so vibrantly there for the taking. And, in doing so…I’m finding myself…happy. I am thirty-one, and I am so entirely happy. And my girls are thick, rich, delicious icing on this cake I call life.

And, I can’t wait for this…where bombastic blasts of color and light will give me one more thing to celebrate, and more sweet traditions of holidays–parades and sparklers and red, white, and blue–will be etched in the memory bank of my little beans.

“The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.” -Henry Miller

Once again…thanks for the quote, KC!

Summer Lovin’ to ya.

And, Oh how I love this girl so very much…she’ll always be the one who made me a mama.

When all goes well during the week, my midway point will have the kitchen looking like this…

It hardly ever happens, but tonight, the planets have aligned. There are candles. And the countertops are so clean and reflective, I can apply my lipgloss in them. And instead of day-old Shepherds Pie, it smells like Capri Fig Frangiapani.

Oh, there’s so much I could blurt out here on this little space of mine. So much enjoyment of life and all these little thoughts I’ve had here and there that I wish I could have the time to pencil them down at any given moment in one of my beautiful journals. And then those birds. Those damn birds that were singing so loudly in the middle of the night, I swear there was some aviary audition for Chorus Line in the woods. I’m all for enjoying the small things but last night I wanted to chuck something out there to make them go to sleep. Seriously.

Summer continues to unravel with all its color and splendor and this week, the “release” of all my friends from their teaching demands means for the next three months, we can huddle together whenever we want for morning coffee and waffles, waterpark afternoons, library breaks and pool dates.

Today, they gathered at our house and we mamas talked and laughed and made fun of Stephanie’s razor burn while the littles jumped into blue ripples of refreshment and showed off their swimmin’ styles.

Lainey kept waitin’ for her friends all morning, so excited they were coming. “My lotsa lotsa friends comin’,” she said.

And these three?

They’re pure trouble when their mischievous minds collide. Today, it was Q-tips. About a hundred of them, scattered across the wood floor. I like a little trouble. Keeps it interesting.

And then there’s this mess of love that happens when the mamas relax on the floor while the kids are wrecking havoc on toys and books and piles of snacks that have placed for them on little tables. We all swap babies and lay kisses and catch up. It’s just lovely.

And about a hundred billion times, it gets brought up that So-and-so’s just getting so big and Where does time go and My, it seems like just yesterday they were born. I just love the people of my Village.

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And, what I’m loving about summer right now…

When, mid-afternoon, the sky splits thunder and the clouds grow dark and cold rains come in to cool the sidewalks. And I drink it all in from the quilted chair by the window where I feed Nella who’s so sleepy all she needs is a two-minute snack pack and the accompanying cozy rains to lull her into an afternoon nap.

And evening post-rain walks where the big sister pushes the little sister…

…and sometimes doesn’t make it very far before she kinda loses it in front of the neighbors, dropping to the cement, kicking off her boots and yelling at Latte who has jumped out of the stroller to take a poop in someone else’s yard. Love it when that happens.

And Hibiscus in full bloom…

My little cue-ball whose tiny head bobs beautifully from behind her new adventure…the exersaucer.

(And to those who have asked, physical therapy is going SO good!)

Watching my three-year-old enjoy summer like never before. When did it happen? When did she become a girl? A lanky little willow who marches to the beat of her own drum, says “No, Thank You,” reminds me to take my vitamins, loves to pour her own milk and still opens the door after her nap, finds me with her eyes and then runs with everything she has to jump into my arms and burrow into my neck. Oh, I love her.

Swoon.

One of my favorite summer memories was visiting my grandma’s farmhouse as a kid. It was quaint and rustic with a walk-around porch that stretched around its perimeter where an old rusted porch swing hung. My grandma taught me how to shuck corn on that swing and we’d spend hours peeling off husks, throwing the scraps to the ground and marveling at the satisfaction of the golden kernels that were hidden underneath.

Actually, I just made that story up. I never shucked a single corn with my grandma and she sure as hell didn’t live in a farmhouse. Made for a great summer story though. Oh, she did have a porch swing.

The real truth is, I like the word “shucked” and I wanted to throw it around a bit. While I might not have shucked a lot as a kid, I thought Lainey might enjoy some good summer corn shucking sans porch swing. And she did. Stretched out in our driveway, and how was that I put it? Oh yes…throwing scraps to the ground and marveling at the satisfaction of the golden kernels hidden underneath.

A summer without corn is like a wedding without dancing.

And don’t get me started on watermelon.

My girl ate three pieces this afternoon and if watching her tear it apart, its pink sticky juice trickling everywhere, isnt’ enjoying the small things, then I don’t know what is. Well, maybe shucking corn with your grandma. Or listening to a bird choir in the middle of the night.

Regardless, it was so very summer and ought to be repeated thrice weekly if you ask me.

I keep scrolling back up to look at those…love how very summer they are. Now, if I could just find the perfect shade of nail polish to match that watermelon, then we could just take that summer list of mine, ball it up and pitch it because my summer quests would peak out right there.

And, this is slightly off topic but something I’ve been meaning to say for quite some time. And it goes something like this…

Thank you.

Thank you every one of you for your comments, your e-mails, your support, your readership, the beautiful kind things you have said and done and for finding it worthwhile to celebrate the amazing beautiful things of life with us. This blog has opened up a lot of great opportunities for me but it’s still just the place I go to put it all down…all this wonderfulness of life. And sometimes I forget that “Down syndrome” is what kind of propeled all this because, in my mind, it’s such a tiny part of our life now. Because it doesn’t change the bigger things of life. It doesn’t change any bit of the happiness we have as a family…or our future together. And celebrating all that we love here on this blog and being supported by such an amazing community of people has played a magnificent role in changing me as a person…allowing me to live through this as beautifully as possible. And I’ll never forget that so much healing came from the very beginning when lovely “strangers” reminded me that it’s all okay.

So, thank you for that. Thank you for loving life and so vibrantly embracing it all with me. It inspires me.

And, I guess that’s all.

Oh, that and the fact that it’s magic outside right now. Rumbling thunder and a purple sky that keeps igniting with light…and there’s a movie humming in the background, I can hear the pop-pop-pop of Orville Redenbacher in the microwave, the biggest little is curled up on the couch and the littlest little is all jammied up and humming sweet sing-songey coos, attempting to put herself to sleep. She needs a mama.

So, goodnight.