Okay, stocking stuffers is my thing, man. As a board member of the Tiny Shit Lovers Club and a life long collector of cool little junk, I feel good about proclaiming myself a stocking stuffer expert. Ever since I was old enough to peel a sticker off its backing paper, I’ve been obsessed with little things (Enjoying the Small Things, yo)–stickers, stamps, smelly erasers, a good pen, adorable key chains, the perfect mug, earrings that dangle just so. I loved going through my stocking as a kid just as much as I did opening the big presents, and those Coca-Cola-flavored Lip Smackers never disappointed. My kids are the same way–drawn to the little things–especially Lainey–delighted by treasures that I later find saved in special shoe boxes she’s decorated and dedicated to her favorites.

I searched the Internet high and low for unique things I knew my kids–and hopefully yours too–would love. We have a few of these already, and I hear Santa’s bringing several more in our stockings this year. I can’t wait to watch my kids enjoy them.

I love to support small businesses, and you’ll see a few of these coming from some favorite outside shops, but we do use Amazon for a lot of our stocking stuffers because we are Prime members and the shipping adds up on little things from different sources. So if you’re an Amazon Prime member, a lot of these are one-stop shopping with no shipping.

Behold, the Tiny Shit Lovers Hall of Fame 2015 Stocking Stuffer Guide for Kids:

1. Santa Coupons: This darling coupon book is full of vinatage-looking certificates that look like they came right from the North Pole. They can be redeemed at any time, and with offers such as “Today, Santa’s doing your chores for you,” “Redeem for a cup of hot cocoa with marshmallows and whipped cream” and “Today Santa will give you a book of your choice,” kids will be sure to remember all throughout the year that if you don’t believe, you don’t receive.

2. The Multiples Tumbler: I just found these and fell in love–melamine dishes and tumblers with cute characters called “The Multiples” dedicated to helping your child learn their multiplication tables while they’re eating and drinking. Each character is dedicated to a multiple set. I want to order 7 and 8 because to this day, I get mixed up.

3. POP CUTIE necklaces: They ship from Europe, but it’s a quick and easy checkout with PayPal. Can we talk about that hamster in the mug? Seriously, Lainey’s going to freak the freak out. I browsed through all the tiny critter necklaces on the site, and my day just got better. So cute!

4. Stripey Socks: Vindie Baby has a great collection of unique socks, in all sorts of patters and colors. The stripes are my favorite, and there are many stripe patterns to choose from.

5. Charm-It Bracelet and Charms: I’m checking with my sources on what the appropriate age cut-off for wearing these is–hoping I fit in the bracket, of course. Lainey loves her charm bracelet, and we’re having fun building her charm collection. There are so many charms to choose from. The little hot cocoa cup with the dangling marshmallow? Gah! The ice cream sandwich! The rainbow scooter!

6. Kitty in a Box Post-It Notes: This is the stuff my tiny-shit-loving brain dreams of on a good night. Tiny cats made of paper, peeking out of a box, with the dual purpose (other than looking cute, of course) of serving as stick-on notes. Brilliant. Your kid can use them to flag the stuff she wants in the Justice catalogue. Go figure.

7. Flair Pins. It’s all about the flair right now. Little buttons proclaiming what they love. They can pin them all over their backpack to personalize it, attach them to tennis shoes, sweaters, bulletin board: from pop stars like Katy Perry to the Retro Cats Set. And my favorite–photo buttons made from favorite Instagram or home photos.

8. Sun Art Paper Kit: super cool project. Use the light-sensitive paper to make prints of objects using solar energy. Inexpensive, educational, fun–and a great little piece of art to save.

9. Underpants Bandages: Everybody knows nothing’s funnier to a kid than underwear. So make Band-Aids out of them. Brilliant! The coolest bandages I’ve seen yet. Warning–there are so many fake boo-boos in your future.

10. Spark Rocks:  I remember these as a kid! Simple–tap the rocks together to create sparks. Kids dig this stuff.

11. Kids Bamboo Toothbrushes (2-pk) and Cute Character Suction Cup Toothbrush Holders (5-pk). Stuffing stockings is a great opportunity to refill kid household items like toothbrushes and little eating utencils. These bamboo toothbrushes are simple and cute and, paired with the character suction cup holders, will make kids smile AND stay germ-free in your bathroom.

12. Fashionable Fauna Doll: I love when Santa leaves a lovie hanging out of the stocking, and we look forward to what it will be each year. This little deer doll is sweet and simple and fits perfectly in a stocking.

13. Schleich Brachiosaurus Figure: If a soft sweet lovie isn’t your kid’s cup of tea, a Brachiosaurus stretching his neck over the stocking is another great stocking statement piece.

14. Wikki Stix: These will keep your kids busy for a while and are a great thing to toss in the car for the ride to Grandma’s Christmas evening. Always love when Santa thinks of that stuff.

15. Scented Graphite Pencils: These graphite pencils are not only cute, they’re fruit-scented. They’ll take the edge out of going back to school after Christmas vacation.

16. Grow a Hermit Crab: Another kid favorite. Drop something in water and watch it grow. When you drop this shell in water, it grows a hermit crab. Score.

17. Handmade Felt Slippers: Slippers are another fun gift to open on Christmas–perfect for all the cozy lounging and movie-watching that follows. These beautiful handmade felt slippers fit in a stocking and are only $17.00.

18. Magnetic Aaron’s Thinking Putty: Aaron’s Thinking Putty comes in all different colors including glow-in-the-dark, but this magnetic putty might be the best. Kids can play with the included magnet and have all sorts of fun.

19. The Original Melting Snowman: We got the melting witch for Halloween, and my kids loved it. This tiny box is full of everything you need to build a snowman and watch him melt before your eyes.

20. Shopkins Insulated Tumbler: Shopkins Lovers! There’s more than just Shopkins to put in the stocking this year–how about this cute cup decorated with all the favorites–Melanie Pips, Rockin’ Broc and Miss Mishy Moo.

21. Dinosaur Hatching Egg: Another fun thing-that-grows toy, this dinosaur egg hatches a dinosaur when placed in water.

22. Pinhole Press Mini Book of Faces: We love our Dash book! This book is quick and easy to design on Pinhole’s site. Pair names with photos of your child’s favorite faces, and Pinhole will send you a personalized board book–thick pages that can’t be destroyed. How did Santa know those are my people!?!

23. Plan Toys Wooden Road Signs and Traffic Lights: A great addition to any growing car collection, these small wood street signs and traffic lights can be slipped into a stocking and played with all afternoon.

24. Slamwich: One of our new favorite card games, Slamwich requires attention, speed and coordination but is easy to get the hang of quickly. Plus, it comes in a cute little sandwich-shaped lunch tin.

25. Exploding Popcorn Candy: I got all the way to #25 without putting sugar in the stocking! Pause for Applause! But these exploding popcorn candies are too cool. Guaranteed win.

26. Fingerprint Art Set: A classic arts and crafts toy, this little fingerprint set comes in a slender tin that will slide easily into the stocking and another great one for traveling in the car.

And some honorable mentions for bigger kid stockings: this tin of Narwhal horn candies, these nylon tattoo sleeves (trick Grandma–she’ll flip!), You’re Beautiful, Don’t Change socks (or the slightly more inappropriate but hilarious ones from Blue Q…like the Stay Away from Assholes socks–teens need to know this stuff, you know), Jane Austen temporary tattoos (they’re aMAZing!), and the handicorn…because I feel like everyone needs one.

It’s been a long time since my house has looked this bad, but we’re in the Get Out of Jail Free Card window–the remnants of one holiday still hanging around, the beginning of another emerging, a time change, a Monday, a new month, a year’s end–together a perfectly good excuse to let it go for now, knowing it can all be put back together later.

Let’s get to the important stuff, shall we? Halloween!

I’m sad I didn’t get a lot of pictures this year. It was hot and muggy, the chicken lasted only two houses of trick-or-treating, Lainey shed her pig cape early (a strategic move, I’m sure, as underneath was the most blazing neon Justice shirt in the history of mankind), and it rained. But we had a strong start. I mean, for Pete’s sake, I hot-glued hay and white fencing on the wagon to overcompensate for what I knew would turn out to be a night of hot, half-dressed kids running wild on sugar and a dirty neglected chicken hat lying next to a mess of spilled kitty litter from the luminary bag that got wet and ripped open in the driveway.

But look! Pre-game was on point.

I dressed up as Frida Kahlo because I had everything in my closet to pull it off, minus an easy D.I.Y. flower crown. And also because it gave me the opportunity to dramatically fill in my sparse eyebrows. And also because I could put my resting bitch face to good use in pictures. And also because Frida’s words and life inspire me, and I love her. She was a pioneer in the selfie world.

I gave my friend Rebecca a blond wig for a costume–an obscure character that we ended up naming Estelle. Estelle’s character became more and more defined throughout the night as we had too much fun writing her story line–she’s from Jersey, is dating a guy named Mikey but likes his brother Nicky, calls everybody “Honey” and her Jersey accent is perfection. It was so much fun, I fell into Estelle’s character by the end of the night as well–which was completely confusing to everyone: Mexican painter running down the dark street in vintage granny boots, squeaking out a nasally, “Yo, ‘Stellie, wait up. My bubbies are falling out of this frickin’ bra.”  Pretty sure I will only greet and carry on conversations with Rebecca as Estelle now. Possibly the rest of the world as well.

The farm animal puns were also aplenty.

Let’s see there was:

The Farmer and the Nell
Pig in a Blanket
Chicken Strips (Nella removes costume)
Fried Chicken (Nella doesn’t want to trick-or-treat anymore)

Insert random picture of my chicken being cute at school.

She walked in her school’s costume parade and chose a casual one-eyed peek from under her beak over her friends’ more obvious princess waves to acknowledge my presence in the sidelines. She’s subtle like that.

And now here we are, November.

Come join me at my virtual flagpole while I raise the holiday freak flag up two more notches.  While we’re there, I’ll confess to you that I hung a frosted pine cone garland this weekend.

Things are a little nutty and messy over here, and I feel like I can’t keep up, but we’re happy and riding the current.

From last night’s Instagram post:

Sometimes when all the mothering juggling balls have fallen and I’m standing there holding nothing, looking at the mess of what I wasn’t able to keep in the air, I pick one ball–usually a weird one that ranks of little importance compared to the others–and I make that ball my all. The house is trashed, the kids ate Costco hot dogs for dinner, I have 100 e-mails I haven’t returned and work to do but, so help me God, Nella’s class bear journal we’re returning tomorrow? A work of art.

We had so much fun neglecting life to write stories and take pictures of a little bear named Theodore this weekend–a project the whole family embraced–and Nella’s asked me to reread his journal adventures at least 10 times now.

Too many balls in the air? Let them fall. And then pick one–just one–that will make you happy, and juggle away for a while.

From Theodore stories to ballet class last night…

Just one ball at a time. We can handle that. Or as Estelle would say, “Honey, lemme tell ya, ya doin’ just swell.”