This post is sponsored by Børn Shoes.

Okay, we’ve all been there–stripped of our otherwise reliable confidence from an intimidating event, an uncomfortable situation, a new crowd, a failure, someone else’s shaming attempt or maybe just an off day when we’re questioning silly things of which we usually feel certain: “Wait, are these jeans I’ve been loving actually hideous?”. But how do you summon your confidence back when you feel it’s left the building? I’m partnering with our long time friends at Børn Shoes to share some of my favorite confidence boosting tips with some of their new fall boots that marry two important elements of confidence–style and comfort.

Stand up straight.
Scientifically, it’s proven there’s a psychological connection to your confidence when you physically straighten your posture and stand up tall. I’ve been known to slump my shoulders which can subconsciously transfer to slumping my spirit, especially when I’m in a moment that is challenging my confidence; so a good purposeful inhalation and straightening of the back and shoulders sends a message to the brain: “Hey! Look at me! Standing tall! I can do this!” Standing up straight also makes a compelling statement on the outside.


Making a confident statement with the Knee-high Cricket Boots

Remember, confidence is not about puffing out your chest, it’s about grounding within.
That outside statement? I try not to get too caught up in it as a motive for confidence. Trying to prove capability and confidence isn’t really confidence–it’s just another form of insecurity, and thinking too much about portraying it on the outside leads to chest-puffing which, to the wise souls, interprets clearly as self-doubt. Instead, when I’m feeling a lack of confidence, I acknowledge my vulnerability within and remember that reestablishing a moment of confidence is about me and no one else–reconnecting to my truest self.

Rich, classic Cognac Casco Boots–instant confidence boost

Lipstick, Favorite Shirt, Great Shoes.
Yes, our confidence comes from within and not what we wear, but the good Lord gave us helpers. A statement pair of earrings that makes us feel put together, a swipe of red lipstick that adds some color when we’re feeling a little peaked, or a fabulous pair of shoes that looks good on us and fits whether or not we’re easily slipping into our favorite pair of jeans–these can all serve as temporary training wheels until we’re pedaling fast again in the Tour de Confidence. And no need to overcompensate with 4-inch heels, bold lip color you’re not quite ready to wear or an outfit that feels uncomfortable, or you’ll be thinking about it too much, sinking your confidence even lower.

These Aire boots are the perfect compromise–a stylish statement that’s still uber comfortable–shoes that give you a confidence hug.

Do Something Hard.
This one’s never failed me. A sudden lack of confidence often comes from a moment when I’ve been knocked down. There’s no quicker way to recover from it than to jump back up and prove to myself that I can handle hard things….by handling a hard thing. Foolproof ways for feeling a surge of confidence: throwing on my running shoes and hitting the pavement for a quick full-effort run, completing a task I’ve been procrastinating, attending to a confrontation I’ve been avoiding or even simply making an appointment I’ve been putting off.

Channel Beyonce.
She’s the yoda of confidence, and playing any one of her songs is sure to summon assurance. You don’t even have to know the lyrics–her voice magically repairs the cracks. In fact, there are so many powerful women out there whose examples of fierceness and strength can be used to find our own again. And we’ll be that for other women at times too. So when you need a little boost, there’s nothing wrong with asking yourself “What would Beyonce do?” or maybe it’s Eunice Shriver or a favorite author or your fierce Aunt Mabel who always takes the high road. But I promise you, dancing to Beyonce alone in your kitchen helps too. Start with “Run the World,” maybe end with “Halo.” Other confidence boosting songs? Sia’s “Unstoppable” (the chorus lyrics will raise your feet off the ground and practically give you the ability of flight), Katy Perry’s “Roar,” and anything by Pink.

Put your phone down.
Our phones, feeds and “scrollables” are notorious for creating confidence-zapping effects whether we’re comparing ourselves to others or wasting time that needs to be spent elsewhere, decreasing our productivity and leading to less confidence later. While reaching for our phones to distract us from an uncomfortable loss of confidence might be our first impulse, it’s unlikely to make us feel better. And while it’s difficult to always adhere to this advice, I know that reaching for something else is the best choice–an uplifting poetry book (Rupi Kaur, Rilke and Rumi are all favorites), a journal and pen, a sketch book and watercolor palette.

Kindness.
It might seem simple, but the most impactful thing I can do to raise my confidence is to get out of my own silly head and think of someone else. A check-in text to someone who’s hurting, a package of goodies in the mailbox to a friend, an offer of my time to a worthy cause or a small donation to an important need. Kindness always recalibrates my confidence.

Speaking of kindness, one of my favorite things about Born Shoes is their commitment to supporting worthy causes. I’ve partnered with them for several years now, a partnership that was born from them reaching out to get involved in supporting Ruby’s Rainbow. They’ll be back for a great giveaway, participating in Down Syndrome Awareness Month in October, and I’m thrilled to have a closet full of Born favorites that always make me feel comfortable, stylish and confident.

The three boot styles in this post are Aire, Casco and Cricket.

This post is sponsored by BeatSync lights, coolest twinkle lights around. Keep reading, but you know how I feel about twinkle lights and in case you missed that first sentence, THE COOL CLUB TWINKLE LIGHTS ARE SPONSORING THIS POST, AND MY PROFESSIONAL GOALS FOR LIFE HAVE BEEN MET. Carry on.

So, you all know how I feel about twinkle lights. And that’s not even counting how I feel about twinkle lights between the dates of November 1 through December 26 because that is an entirely different level of enthusiasm that is so off the charts, it’s hardly bloggable. It’s just that with all the things in life that can weigh us down, I think the universe provides a toolbox of little pleasures that disperse joy and fun and a celebratory attitude that sings,”YAY! I’m ALIVE!” And in that toolbox–along with roller skates, puffy stickers, yellow shoes, waffles for breakfast, Katy Perry songs, things with melted butter and babies wearing bonnets are TWINKLE LIGHTS.

But wait. I’m going to up the ante. How about…

TWINKLE LIGHTS THAT DANCE AND PULSE AND COME ALIVE TO THE SOUND OF YOUR MUSIC?

Pause to breathe.

You heard me. I didn’t know they exist, but now I do, and it’s like swallowing the blue pill. Can’t go back. Knowledge is power, so here’s the 411:

It’s the twinkle lights we already loved–the delicate bendable metal strands with LED lights melted right in, but BeatSync lights are different from ordinary string lights because they feature exclusive sound responsive technology and a built-in microphone that listens and responds to any music you’re playing.

That means, our end-0f-summer dance parties in Dash’s room last week transformed into a Lady Gaga-esque show with twinkle lights draped all around the bed and ICE, ICE BABY blaring while kids danced and laughed and sang into the mic and with every beat. And the lights twinkled accordingly…

ICE             ICE                BA-BY.
*blink*     *blink*       *blink-blink*

And while a plain old Tuesday night was a perfectly appropriate occasion to enjoy this party of lights, I couldn’t help but think how these can make karaoke at a birthday party more fun. Or (because they are battery operated) how stringing them on our wagon and pulling it through the neighborhood, blaring “Monster Mash” while trick-or-treating will take us Halloween Next Level. And, okay, you know I’m going there….don’t get me started. CHRISTMAS. Heck yeah we tried them to Jingle Bells the other night–you know, just for practice.

And the verdict is…Holy Kris Kringle. I don’t even like the Little Drummer Boy song, but I am so testing these out to Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum come December.

So it might sound silly that I’m this thrilled to be partnering with a twinkle light brand, but I love products that fit so perfectly with this little passion I have for bringing fun and celebration to our family, for injecting a little magic in my kids’ bedroom sanctuaries, for allowing us to have a some light during dark times and for anything that pairs well with a Katy Perry song (yes, I tried these with Firework, and I may have choreographed a short dance to go with it).

BeatSync is available in 50 and 100 LED light counts and both white and multicolor.

You can use BeatSync lights both indoor and outdoor, no plugs or connectors needed. Just turn them on and they start listening to whatever music you’re playing. And if you get tired of the music response part (who ARE you?), you can also set them to chill out and stay steady or to pulse slowly.

You can learn more about these nifty little magic lights here and can find them at Walmart, in-store or online here.

Now head over to my Instagram Stories to see them in action, but beware…first HOLIDAY MUSIC OF THE SEASON (we had to).

This post is sponsored by Hallmark who shares my love of words on paper.

I initiated September last week, as all good premature fall lovers do, with a cozy evening drenched in all my favorite fall pleasures–the pipe smoke scented candles, sugared donuts, a fire in the fireplace (yes, in South Florida–I know) and the first seasonal viewing of the movie You’ve Got Mail. One cozy pleasure led to another and an orange spice hot tea later, I retreated to my office for another favorite–a card-writing session (it’s on my fall bucket list).

Recently, Hallmark asked me if I wanted to be part of their new Put It Into Words campaign, highlighting the power of sending and receiving cards for any reason, and I was all in.

Joining this initiative is something I passionately believe in because I know how much a card can change someone’s day–for both the receiver and the giver.

My favorite cards to send are my favorite ones to receive–not the obvious occasion cards like birthdays or anniversaries, but the heart of life that’s in between.

The acknowledgement of a week that sucked the life out of a friend. 

The recognition that your friend put on her running shoes and took her first go at a good run after saying for two years that she wanted to start running again.

A list of five things your friend does better than anyone else you know because you think she might need to be reminded.

A thank you to the mom who has now picked up your kid for swim practice six times and dropped him back off after because she knows you have a lot on your plate on Tuesdays.

An “Aw, crap” for the job your friend wanted and worked so hard to get but lost to someone more qualified.

Or maybe just a funny little llama that opens to read: “Remember that time we rolled down the windows and drove downtown, blaring Snoop Dog before we remembered that we were in a minivan, almost 40 and nothing about us looked cool? Yeah, that was funny. (Was that the day we bought crop tops at Forever 21?)”

I understand the art of card giving because I come from a family with a rich card-writing past–grandmas with baskets stocked with the perfect card for every occasion, my dad who never sends a card without decorating the envelope with elaborate colored drawings, and my mom who taught me early on how to properly spell “stationery” with the hint that “pens and pencils” have an “e,” not an “a”. My grandma was such a faithful card sender that even in her last years, when she was fighting dementia and certainly after years of never missing a loved one’s celebration had earned her right to put her cards and stamps away; she still sent them, still wrote her own messages, still tucked in three bucks for “something special.”  In fact, it was so important to her, for Christmas one year, cousins organized everything for a year’s worth of card-sending–a calendar with every loved one’s special dates to help keep her on track and cards ready to go, addressed and stamped…because it was about more than just a card. It was a ritual of expression that connected her to us and a way for her, as the world sped on around her, to stand out and be heard when she told us “I love you. I’m thinking about you. I sat down to write this with my hands and the whole time I did, you were on my mind.” Writing cards kept her heart alive when her memory was fading.

I understand what my grandma knew–that the act of writing words, preserving them on paper, and sending them to someone is a gift that’s more than just words on a card. It’s an experience, and when I open the door of the mailbox to find a colored envelope with a pretty stamp and my name scrolled in ink on the front, I get ridiculously excited. I know what follows…the whole sensory act of sliding a fingernail under the envelope flap to loosen the stick, of pulling out the card and feeling the weight of it in my hands, of taking in the colors, the design, the words, the handwriting. It’s knowing it wasn’t tapped out by thumbs on a device with half of the words predicted before they were finished…it was written–with loopy l’s and slanted y’s–for me. It’s keeping it propped up on the window sill long after I’ve read it so I can take in, as many times as I want to, the “I love you” at the end. Which is why I save so many of my cards.

I didn’t write anything particularly long in the cards I sent this past weekend, but I meant the few sentences I wrote. And though I can’t tell you yet what those cards did to brighten someone’s day because they’re currently on their postal journey, I can tell you what the card I got in the mail did for me last week.

It was from my mom–just a few sentences, sent for no other reason than to tell me she loves me, she’s proud of me and she’s so glad I’m her daughter.

I was over the moon. A hug in the middle of the day. The simplest gesture that went a long way…no one can have too many reminders that they are loved.

Want to join this initiative? Put into words the things you’ve been meaning to say…to your friend, your mother, your brother, your son, your kid’s teacher, that person who inspired you years ago (might need to do some research to find an address), the nurse who said the right things during a difficult time, your husband, your neighbor, your grandma. Tell them in words that they can hold and save and prop up on a windowsill. And if you’d like to hear other inspiring stories of how cards made an unexpected difference in someone’s life and enter for a chance to win free cards for a year and a $500 gift card to use on someone special in your life, check out more from Hallmark here.