Enjoying the Small Things

Enjoying the Small Things

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When I Grow Up

July 11, 2011 By Kelle

In yet another moment of deep self-analysis this weekend, I realized I am addicted to the euphoria associated with potential. Actually, it was more a moment of justifying that my house is never fully clean, a fact I excused with the idea that if it was perfectly clean, I wouldn’t feel that rush that comes with a good project. And this is true. There’s something creatively motivating about walking through piles of clutter, kicking random misplaced toys, passing by the fifteenth barette that Nella pulled out of her hair and tossed aside. Because simultaneously, I’m excitedly planning future attempts at managing clutter, how I’ll paint some great bookshelf for the misplaced toys or scour a thrift shop for an old green glass jar that screams “barette holder.” I know that not far off, there is a marvelous day awaiting where I will feel motivatived to attack the cupboards under my bathroom sink or touch up the base boards, and what will follow will be pure satisfaction. Flickering candles. Classical music. An invitation to friends for dinner–lemon caper chicken savored with wine around our dining room table…in an impressively immaculate house. My heart beats a little faster just thinking about it, even if presently I’m hopscotching across the few tile squares that aren’t littered with a lone sock, a broken crayon, and a hairbrush that never made it back to the bathroom drawer (and never will).

I thrive on possibility, I feed on potential. My hands actually shook when I received a new syllabus on the first day of classes every semester. The paper was so crisp, its clean font and detailed outline promising possibility. That maybe I’d actually get lost in the sensational history that is Old Testament Studies (yes, I took it; no, I didn’t find it sensational).

It’s why we plan out future vacations, our itty bitty dreams just barely sprouting and unsupported by current funds but rousing excitement for the potential of what could be. We could be skiing in Colorado, watching lobster boats dock in Maine, or hiking glaciers with babies on our back somewhere deep in Alaska. And we will someday.

It’s why I’ll never drop the phrase “when I grow up” from my vocabulary because, no matter how old you are, the fueling potential of what you want to be someday should make your heart race and your insides tingle. When I grow up, I’m going to take a ballet class, make pottery, have a successful garden, cook for a great big family, and take my girls to Italy. I’m going to be a more consistent housekeeper, a more skilled photographer, a more thoughtful writer, a more passionate mother, a more patient wife, and a more selfless friend…when I grow up.

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Mama’s big rainbow to the left, Big Sister’s itty bitty rainbow to the right.



It’s why I start planning holidays in June, contemplating Halloween costumes in August, and dreaming of pumpkin bread and Christmas shopping and just how many light strands we’ll dangle on our palm trees this year, months before it’s time…because the thought of what we can do to make this year better than last thrills me. And potential drives me like no other force can.

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We make wishes on rusty pennies and throw them in fountains. They hold potential.

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I am excited for the future.

Photobucket Nella’s dress, Tea Collection



This weekend, I spent hours in my closet in an amazing purge that was, believe it or not, actually enjoyable. Lainey tried on discarded old clothes (that happened to inlcude a gold sequin shrug from Las Vegas 2005; a pilly, faded brown turtleneck that adds five pounds of face weight and a pair of…wait for it…pleather pants), Nella climbed over the obstacle of shoe boxes blocking the entryway, and together we surrendered to the beautiful potential of…more organized.

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And then it just crescendoed to heart-racing levels of potential. Cleaning overlapped to other areas of the house while I dreamed of room makeovers, DIY projects and thought about the potential that dwells in the coming months: late summer entertaining, pre fall rituals, visiting my mom in New York, trying new recipes, putting up the Christmas tree, setting new goals, creating new dreams. I love that this form of happiness is free, available to anyone and customizable to all talents, all incomes, all ways of life. Everyone has potential.

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Our weekend treat of choice: Sweet Treats ice cream.

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The rest of our weekend in photos and musings:

Jack

Lainey jumps every time this jack-in-the-box pops up. Even though she knows it’s coming with another whirl of the crank and right after “the monkey thought ’twas all in fun.” Still, POP! goes the weasel, and her little body jolts like she just saw…well, a gorilla mask. Unlike the mask, she thinks it’s funny. What’s funny is that Nella is completely unphased by both the gorilla and the jack-in-the-box.

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Nella does however love playing the piano. She will sit and peck at the keys for a good fifteen minutes, sometimes adding vocals as well. Her songs have a bit of Indie Rock vibe. She will be touring college campuses in about twenty years, I am sure.

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Bake

Lainey and I threw down in the kitchen this weekend. Vanilla cupcakes with pink buttercream frosting. The balance is slowly shifting–less guidance on my part, more independence and following directions on hers.

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Polka dot cupcake wrappers, Darlybird.

A few eggshells make their way into the batter, but if she did it perfectly, there of course would be no potential to be better next time. Ah, that damn glass-is-half-full.

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Party

We were invited to a birthday party last night. I purposefully left Nella with Brett and took Lainey alone because those short, impromptu outings with just the two of us leave remarkable impressions on her. We played Eye Spy and “the favorite game” in the car on the twenty-minute drive, and I marveled at her budding socializing skills while I watched her with friends at the party.

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Felted Necklace, Darlybird.

Spy Camera

I like taking pictures of them when they have no idea.

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Lainey, the Author

She wrote a book this week. Scripted the entire story while I furiously scribbled to keep up with her imagination. We used the 5×5 blank board book from Darlybird (only $3!), and she colored pictures to go along with her story when it was finished. She is proud, and it is the first thing she brings to whomever is visiting our home, including therapists.

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Her story (verbatim as she told it except for the addition of the words “the princess said” I added to suggest a quote):

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The Princess Goes to the Castle

Once the king went to the castle and saw the princess and said “Hi.” The princess loved the king and she recognized she wanted to marry the king. “I love it when the king gives me a kiss on my cheek and says it’s an I love you kiss,” the princess said. And then the princess wanted to make him happy and that’s why she wanted to make him cereal. The princess said, “the king is going to come to my birthday and give me another kiss.” The princess sent the king a letter and he said, “thank you for the letter.” The princess said, “I love the king because he’s so nice.” And the princess is so nice too. The End.

And I realize princesses don’t marry kings because that’s just wrong.

But I still cried when she smiled with pride after I read her story back to her.

Darlybird

So, I’ve dropped Darlybird three places in this post. They inquired about sponsorship a while back and, having never heard of Darlybird, I went to check out their site and got completely lost. It was like one of those dreams where you walk into a store with all your favorite things, everything’s on sale, and your favorite song is blasting while you throw things in your cart in a mad shopping spree. And then Matthew McConaughey is the check-out boy. And maybe he forgot to wear a shirt.

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Darlybird Rosy Ranunulous Hair Clip

I’ve been so excited about Darlybird’s sponsorship because I think you all are going to love their incredible range of fun, whimiscal, colorful products from home goods to accessories…and I love making readers happy! The site is dripping with style and character, and every product has a personalized, fun description to go with it (worth visiting the site just for the colorful product descriptions).

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Bla Bla doll, Giselle the ballerina, Darlybird

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left: set of 12 wooden pencils only $5; right, cupcake papers and ballerina toppers, all Darlybird

I’ve already bookmarked the site as a favorite place for gifts. Use code ENJOYDARLY for 15% off your order (good until July 25).

Two comments will be randomly selected to each win a $50 gift certificate to Darlybird. Tell me what you want to do when you grow up. Happy Shopping!

You know what makes me insanely happy right now?

The fact that I have so much on my to-do list, I don’t know what to do next. That’s potential at its finest.

And I am loving this song. (The acapella part at the end? Turn it up. And twirl. I close my eyes to listen. It’s crazy good.)

“Oh you can judge all the world on the sparkle that you think it lacks.

Yes you can stare into the abyss, but it’s staring right back.

When my turn comes.

Ohhhh. Oh oh.” ~
Dawes, “When My Time Comes”

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Filed Under: Enjoying, Family, Favorites

Five Years

July 1, 2011 By Kelle

He leaves the toilet seat up sometimes. And he thinks “Be ready in ten minutes” means “In ten minutes, start thinking about getting ready.” Sometimes we argue about really stupid things. And we’re both stubborn.
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We are different in a lot of ways but similar in the ones that really matter. Like family. And love. And where we want to be ten years from now.

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Five years ago, we walked hand-in-hand down the skinny aisle of a small white chapel. We had big dreams. Most of them have come true.

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We’re still dreaming though.

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The five happiest years of my life, hands down.

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To many more.

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I like him.

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And I think it’s important that you know Brett’s cheapass bracelet is the As-Seen-on-TV Renew bracelet. The one that promises strength and endurance and power. Can you hear me laughing? Well, I am. I love the way he loves a good gimmick. And the way he loves his kids. And the beach. And family. And life.

That is all.
Happy Anniversary to Us.

Wedding memories HERE and HERE.

*****

On the last evening of June, I snuck out of the house for my final hoorah in my challenge. I didn’t run. I walked. Slowly and mindfully. No music. Just crickets and the random crunch from a junebug under my shoe. I pushed the stroller while Nella fell asleep, and I watched the eastern sky ignite with heat lightning. It was peaceful, a good way to go out.

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The winner of The Meg Shop earrings: Comment #230, lovemy3: Love the pictures of the girls at the bookstore and the pics of the birthday celebration. I had a friend suggest your blog and it has been such a blessing in disguise. Our little peanut, Hailey, was born with Down syndrome and we, like you, didn’t know until she was born. She is having open heart surgery next week and just reading your blog helps me focus beyond her surgery and to “enjoy the small things”. Thank you!

Congratulations, lovemy3. Little Hailey is in our thoughts…hoping all goes smoothly next week, and she is home in your arms where she belongs…soon! Please e-mail your info to [email protected] so your ears can look pretty.

*****

New sponsor alert: one of my most favorite stores for children’s clothing, Tea Collection. I drooled over their catalogue before I even had kids, dog-earring all sorts of cute things for my imaginary children. They are real now. And I love when they wear anything from Tea. My favorite: Lainey’s painters overalls. I once pulled them out of the dirty clothes so she could wear them again. That’s how much I love them.

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And I love their gypsy pants and ruffled shirts. We mix and match for all sorts of funky combinations.

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We are so excited to have Tea on board this month.

A $100 gift certificate to Tea Collection will be given to a lucky commenter on this post. Tell me, though, where do you want to be in five years? Life flew for us since 7-01-06. In your dreams, what will your life look like on 7-01-16?


*****

We’re out for pizza tonight to celebrate our five and looking forward to some holiday fun this weekend.

You can watch the BYU Inspiring Stories episode by clicking HERE. Ours is the last of three, but watch them all. They are important and inspiring.

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Have a fabulous 4th!

* Thank you, Lainey, our photo booth photographer.

Filed Under: Family

Four.

May 19, 2011 By Kelle

It was her day today.

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Initiated by a family breakfast celebration accompanied by her brothers who got to skip out on a couple morning classes in exchange for challah french toast and watching the birthday girl blow out four candles on her Mickey Mouse pancakes.

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She milked it big time. Kept asking us to say “Happy Birthday, Lainey” and smiling when we did.

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If there is a heaven, then someday when I cross over there, I’d like to think my moment of entrance will be experiencing again those precious minutes when I became a mother. To do it again–to transform from wanting, hoping, and trying to imagine what it’s going to be like to actually experiencing it–reaching out my arms to cradle her perfect body, pulling her in to kiss newborn skin, feeling this gutteral lurch of a new love I couldn’t quite explain–I’d go back a trillion times to feel it again if I could. I’d take the pain, the pushing, all of it just to remember again what it was like to be changed so instantly. To be overwhelmed by love in that way.

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I told her the story of her birth tonight as she fell asleep spooned in front of me, and in the faint light of the moon, her little silhouette looked just like it did four years ago.

I told her about the day she made me a mama, and how she stopped crying as soon as she heard my voice. That’s her favorite part of the story. Every time I get to that part, she smiles.

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My, how she has changed.

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This year, our shy girl has braved a medley of new experiences–from ballet to human sling shot rides–and her confidence continues to soar, hidden at times but pulled from the reserves when she needs it most. Resourceful and intuitive, funny and free-spirited, she has grown into her own personality which, while predictable and undeniably hers, still renders surprises that leave us sighing with the bittersweet recognition that she’s simply growing up.

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I love her faces.

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There are times when I worry she feels lost in the cloud of special needs attention, but I think this less and less as I trust my instincts and they tell me she is fine. Because there’s a whole lot of special that comes with the one who makes someome a mama, and I know she knows this. After all, she is four.

So tonight, we celebrated appropriately, whipping up her meal of choice–Mac n’ Cheese, of course–and listening as she dropped the phrase “my birthday” into every other sentence.

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Her one birthday wish was to go to Walmart with Brett to pick out her own birthday cake (she’s eyed them the last few times we’ve been there). Sending Brett to Walmart with Lainey though is like giving a mouse a cookie. They came home with a cake. And Dora jammies. And Tic Tacs.

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Swiper, no swiping!

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She was thrilled with her new scooter. Had to try it out with her new jammies and worked very hard to conceal her satisfied smile.

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My first born is growing up, and it is a wonder to behold.

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(Lainey turns two, Lainey turns three)

*****

I so enjoyed reading about all the qualities you love most about yourselves in the last post. They made me smile and think a bit more about things I’d like to change in my own character. Thank you for sharing.

The winner of the $100 Little Lesiw Gift Certificate: Comment #54, theenglishgirl: Love the sisterly hug, so real and tender. Must have melted your heart to see that. I wonder how many moments like that we actually catch??? Hopefully being present, not too many!
My ability to be a good friend. Even with my crazy road life, my friends mean the world to me and I carry them in my heart. Happy Birthday Lainey and Happy Birth Day Mummy! Congratulations, theenglishgirl! (do you have a British accent? because I love them.) Please send your contact info to [email protected], and a nice box of accessories will soon be at your door.

And finally, we’re excitedly welcoming Piccadilly Circus as a new sponsor.

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Their appliqued shirts are great for photos, make fabulous gifts, and are of impeccable quality. We love our felt initial shirts (I love the big yarn stitching!). And I have a thing for baseball shirts…especially after Nella sported hers.

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My Pensive Sky wall (Behr paint for a couple who asked)

Use code “freeshipping” (one word, no space) for free shipping on your order, and one comment from this post will be randomly chosen for a $50 gift certificate, courtesy of Piccadilly Circus.

Happy Wednesday!

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Filed Under: Family

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