Enjoying the Small Things

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Hearing the Grass

March 20, 2012 By Kelle

I pulled an old book out this weekend, a gem I was reading in my early twenties when everyone else was out partying and Homeschooled Girl didn’t know how to fit in. There’s a dog-earred page somewhere in the middle, the first paragraph almost completely highlighted in faded yellow marker. Author Sarah Ban Breathnach quotes naturalist Diane Ackerman (A Natural History of the Senses) in reiterating the fact that we have the capability “to perceive the world with all its gushing beauty and terror, right on our pulses,” and yet most don’t truly awaken their senses to feel things deeply. Ackerman is quoted again: “The senses don’t just make sense of life in bold or subtle acts of clarity, they tear reality apart into vibrant morsels and reassemble them into a meaningful pattern.”

I like that. I like to say I live that.

Breathnach goes on, asking readers to practice the exercise of pausing a moment each day to marvel at the natural gifts we’ve all been given, and ends with a George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans) quote: “If we had keen vision and feeling for all ordinary human life it would be like hearing the grass grow and the squirrel’s heart beat, and we should die of the roar which lies on the other side of silence.”

I reread this passage Sunday morning, on our way to Isle of Capri–the end cap of an adventurous week with my mom. And I thought about it, especially after such a high-on-life weekend.

Sometimes when things are good–really good–I seek to understand the presence of good just as much as if it where the opposite–to question unfortunate circumstances which is a natural response to heartache. Sometimes I’ve felt that positivity, blue skies and good fortune need a disclaimer. Like it’s only deserved if it’s been well balanced with hard times, a lot of effort or heartache in the past.

I’m not superstitious but, to be completely honest, in some of my most contented periods in life when I’ve been so presently aware of good, I’ve actually wondered…is heartache around the bend? Is this all some game where everyone says someday, “Well that makes sense. Things were just too damn good for that unicorn girl.”

That is a ridiculous way of thinking.

Over the years, especially the last two, my confidence in the natural order of the universe and our own ability to alter our perspective has grown. Life doesn’t dish out bad and good in equal amounts or according to what’s “fair.” Likewise, I don’t have “bad” coming to me any more than I have “good” coming to me.

The answer to all of this lies, for me, in the simple truth of which Ackerman spoke. Regardless of how good or bad life presently is, I will tear reality apart into “vibrant morsels and reassemble them into a meaningful pattern.” While I believe that good begets good, I also know it is inevitable that life will come with challenges, sad days, rain and heartache. Through all of it, I will listen to hear the grass grow or the squirrel’s heart beat. I will focus on right now, today, and I will not disclaim fully feeling life’s gifts.

Maybe loving life and embracing experiences in a tearing-apart-the-vibrant-morsels kind of way is a bit like the tree that falls in the forest that only creates a sound when someone is there to hear it. Is it only good if we’re wildly pursuing opportunities to be sensually aware? To feel the heat of the sun and make note of its goodness, to listen to our child’s laughter and memorize its tone, even to acknowledge the depth of our pain and fully feel its sting? If so, all the more reason to…suck. the. marrow. That’s right.

I did this weekend. My skin is sun-kissed, my babies have a heap of memories, my camera snapped hundreds of pictures of things that made me come alive and, as God would say, “Behold, it was good.”

Let’s just get it over with. I saw a unicorn Sunday night from a boat, okay? I can’t really explain it without doing exactly what I don’t want to do which is disclaiming the awesomeness of the experience with some unfortunate fact like my life jacket was ugly or the wind uncomfortably whipped my hair. See I just did it. And actually, that’s not even true. My life jacket was lovely and the wind made my hair gracefully flutter into heart shaped curls. I’m owning it. A friend of a friend offered us a free sunset cruise from the Isles of Capri Sunday night, and there we were with my mom and George, laughing that things were just really too good. Then, amid the hour of golden sunset, our driver spotted some dolphins, clicked and whistled a Dr. Doolittle call, and they came.

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All of them, chasing the boat, gliding in the wake, twisting and turning in the current.

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How ’bout them vibrant morsel apples?

And that was just a bit of the weekend, wedged between other moments–mostly good–that I’m not going to attempt to disclaim. I took so many many photos that I had to put them into a little montage I’ll share at the end.

My favorite moments this weekend?

The very photogenic county fair.

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*****

Lainey’s Photography

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My mom’s What-the-hell? face (she would never say hell though)

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*****

Lainey’s pet Grouper Finger.

She told me “he” (the tiny bite left over from her grouper finger) wanted to lay out in the sun, but he didn’t want to burn, so she pulled my drink umbrella out and made him a little set-up.

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And this is the kind of thing I want to preserve–to tell every teacher she might have to balance math and science and phonics appropriately against this more powerful, more valuable sense of wonder and imagination. Creativity…it’s the secret to her future.

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Falling in love with my camera all over again this weekend.

It helps me see. It changes me.

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Nella’s onesie, the fabulous Lee Marie retro inspired Etsy shop

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Making weekend movies. Enjoy.

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Scentsy Independent Consultant, Jessica Clough, is back to sponsor this month with some brand new spring scents and products. I’m eager to add some spring aromas to our home and have my eye on the new Lonicera (honeysuckle, amber & patchouli) and Pixie (pink pepper, mandarin, heliotrope, teakwood and vanilla oak) scents. Check out Scentsy’s impressive selection of scent warmers and scent products to make your home more inviting.

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Jessica is giving away one Barista full-size warmer and a Yuzu Dragon Scentsy Bar (notes of guava, nectarine, dragonfruit and yuzu) to one lucky commenter on this post.

*****

Listening to the grass grow this week.

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*Thank you, Darko, for taking good care of us at the Isle of Capri Fish House, and hello to his sweet wife, Amy in Omaha!

Filed Under: Favorites, Isle of Capri 470 Comments

Let’s Jump in Streets

March 1, 2012 By Kelle

Yesterday was a special day. A full-circle completion of a dream that began long ago when my fourth-grade teacher told me that someday I’d write a book. I believed her. That dream was rekindled through an eventful day that has forever changed my life, and I was reminded of it once again as I watched the UPS truck drive up yesterday morning and I ran out to meet the driver on our sidewalk. I held out my hands to receive that precious package, and it felt…I don’t know…triumphant, a testament to these last two years of growth. Life moves on, yes. But wrapped up under the crinkly yellow envelope, there it was. Our story in words and photos and tucked between a cover that took my breath away.

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Completely unprompted, the girls both walked over to stand by my side as I flipped through the pages and saw it all put together for the very first time. They pointed at pictures and gently touched the pages while I cried and smiled and fully felt the depth of gratitude for everything these past couple years–pain, learning, changing, our health, our kids, our families, your support and the team of individuals who helped make this happen. Talk about “It takes a Village.”

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I have this thing in my mind–this idea that real writers act a little more “Aw, this book? This ‘ol thing? Big deal, I write ’em every day.” But, this is our story. And I’m just not cool enough to pull it off. Dude, I jumped in the streets. I freaking jumped in the streets with an open zipper. ‘Cuz I’m classy.

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My point is…
You have stories. All of you. So many of you have written and told me your stories. Your heartache. Your triumphs. The pages of your book. Tell them. Tell your stories. There are a lot more books to be written, and so many of you have it in you. Let’s change the world, okay? Let’s turn pain into beauty, let’s celebrate humor and love and inspiration. Let’s share the things that make us come alive, and let’s listen when others are sharing theirs. Let’s jump in streets.

And, thank you. Honestly, you really have been part of this. Your readership alone has helped make this happen, and it’s all part of the journey. We’re still in the beginning–what other stories await us?

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So, yeah. There’s a real book now. You can buy it. Don’t forget all the fun stuff you get if you pre-order.

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*****
Norwex Givaway winner announced in Friday’s post.

Filed Under: Favorites 312 Comments

(extra)ordinary: Hallmark

February 7, 2012 By Kelle

I am excited to renew my relationship with a company whose mission I admire–the Hallmark posts will continue this year. This post is another Hallmark sponsored post. I am being paid by Hallmark to write it, but all writing, ideas and opinions are mine. Thankfully, Hallmark and I share the same idea–that little moments are to be celebrated and that good people, good efforts and good intentions deserve a spotlight. See Hallmark Life is a Special Occasion for more details, like them on Facebook, and/or sign up for their e-mail messages HERE.



My grandma was not a sophisticated cook by today’s sense of the word. Nothing was “infused,” she loved her pressure cooker, and I’m sure she didn’t know how to pronounce endive. She used white Wonder bread, considered Heinz 57 a fancy condiment and referred to Costco’s vidalia onion salad dressing as “the good stuff.” Her meals were, in a sense, completely ordinary–delicious, well planned, but common. But those who sat at her table found them anything but. It was the thought she expended to transform completely ordinary into memorable. Ketchup was served in a tiny bowl with a cocktail spoon. White bread was nestled into a basket and wrapped in a damask napkin. Sweet relish was poured into a dish that held a story of a missions trip to a faraway place and a kind friend who gave it to her as an anniversary present–and as she prepared meals, she’d tell me these stories. There were special juice glasses for the grandkids, the perfect cookie jar for Fig Newtons and, on reserved occasions, the Cryderman plates–fine china saucers bearing our last name, hand painted in Japanese letters.

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I still use my plate today–reserved for special occasions, like an afternoon snack.



Our family remembers the way my grandma turned ordinary occasions into memorable ones, and in motherhood–in life–it goes beyond the kitchen table.

The thing I love about these memories of my grandma, especially now that I’m old enough to understand that grown-up life can sometimes come with a sort of dissatisfying monotony, is that she never expressed discontentment. Perhaps it was her generation when “ain’t nothin’ but a mama and a housekeeper” was a medal of honor (in my opinion, it still is). She was proud to be a pastor’s wife, a faithful housekeeper, a diligent mother to four boys, and she found such contentment in the ordinary–folding laundry, making sandwiches, preparing coffee trays just the way my grandpa liked them. I like to think, though, that her contentment in everyday life went beyond her generational stereotype. That maybe she was content with what some might call an ordinary life because she made efforts to keep things exciting.

Things are different now, yes. Women do more. More is expected of us. That comes with both applause and exhausted sighs. We are powerful, we are tired. We are inspiring, we are overloaded. We are capable, we are stressed. No matter the circumstances though–whether we’re changing diapers everyday, stuck in a cubicle, yawning our way through morning carpool duties, struggling to make ends meet, working long hours to stash money for college and yes, enjoying it along the way–we gain the upper hand when we take time to spice things up. When we grasp the perspective of viewing mundane routines as opportunities to transform ordinary into extraordinary. Wonder bread on fine china.

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Rule #1: Wear red shoes. Or red lipstick. Or red underwear. Red is Ordinary’s kryptonite.

While the term extraordinary may sound intimidating, it requires only simple attention. You don’t have to take your kids to Disney World to impress them. In fact, I was surprised when, after a recent day of considerable chaos and not taking the time to be present like I’d have liked, Lainey asked me at the end of the day, “Mama, can we do something special?”

I immediately braced myself to let her down easy. I was exhausted, it was late, and whatever special thing she had in mind–going for ice cream, building a fort, heading to the bookstore–I was sure it wasn’t feasible entertainment.

“What do you mean by special“, I asked? “What would you like to do?”

Wide-eyed and grinning, she replied, “Moon walk.” As if it really was a trip to Disney World.

That night our long, ordinary day was reframed to include a starry onyx sky and lizards that skittered across the moonlit sidewalk. It was sealed with sweet, quiet moments of my girls snuggled in their stroller and was slowed to the rhythm of my steady calm breaths that were synchronized with my stride. The day suddenly seemed anything but ordinary.

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Last night’s Full Moon Walk

The moral of that story? Taking time to reframe the mundane doesn’t just benefit our children–it restores our own motivation and perspective. Moon walks have become a special thing in our home. Not every night, but many nights we set out in the dark to count the stars, jump over sidewalk cracks, and hunt for lizards because yes, like remembering my grandma’s cocktail spoons and cookie jars, I want my girls to recall my efforts in creating an extraordinary childhood. But I do it for me too. I am inspired when we drop everything and gear up for a walk, and the contrast of night exploration against our everyday routine feels adventurous and special.

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The magnificent thing about all this? It may start as effort but over time, like eating better or exercising, finding ways to create extraordinary from ordinary becomes a way of life. An enjoyable way of life. I don’t think my grandma asked herself at every meal, “Now how do I make this special?” It just came naturally because for so long she had practiced finding ways to create memorable moments.

Likewise, I instinctively respond to my appetite for color, for adventure, for something a little bit different among our common routines. Over the years, we’ve created our own list of simple things that turn monochromatic days into something technicolor.

Like buying balloons…just because.

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Pulling the hose out to create our own storm.

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Or taking the kid cart to the grocery store to make shopping a little more interesting.

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It becomes a delightful challenge–this ordinary transformation, and I find myself eagerly searching for ways to “keep it interesting.” In fact, yesterday afternoon, as I was challenged with keeping the girls entertained while I finished some work, I began stretching my creativity, thinking like my grandma–“WWGD?” And when a simple idea came, I smiled in satisfaction. “Lainey, want to get your bathing suit and go swimming in the bathtub?”

She smiled her delight, and Nella pulled at her shirt in response. I made a cup of tea, lit a candle and dragged my laptop into the bathroom where I finished my work while the girls made cakes out of bubbles, washed three Barbies’ hair and pruned their skin for an hour. Taking baths may be ordinary, but our afternoon bathroom swim party was not.

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There is a world of extraordinary opportunities that lie in the realm of ordinary, and we all have ways in which we do simple things to breathe more color into our days. I wear red lipstick, use my favorite coffee cup, carry a good pen, light candles (“A candle is a poor man’s fireplace,” my grandma used to say), make breakfast toasts with my daughters, spray whipped cream smiley faces onto pancakes and take enchanting moon walks when the day is done.

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Under the full moon, last night

What do you do?

Hallmark and I would love to hear about the things you do to reframe the mundane. In your comment, please share any traditions, ideas or simple acts that help you make life a special occasion.

To see other Hallmark posts on this blog, click HERE.

Filed Under: Favorites, Hallmark Life is a Special Occasion 194 Comments

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