i’ve debated writing this for the sake of not becoming the complaining headache of a pregnant woman. but, in balancing positivity with the sheer truth that real life is not always beautiful, there will be times when the scales drop their weight on the not-so-beautiful end of the balance.
and they have dropped hard for me as i’m struggling to simply make it through the day with horrible nausea and exhaustion. i had it with lainey, but i also had no responsibities at the time and was able to caccoon myself into bed for weeks without guilt or other pressing matters…like taking care of a two-year-old. and, although these weeks are small in comparison to the life-long joy this wanted little bean will bring us…it’s still hard to deal.
i haven’t turned on my computer since the weekend but rather have wisely used my time to invent a slew of play-with-mama-from-the-couch games. like letting her brush my hair. or wrap my legs in toilet paper. or smear lotion wherever she pleases. or beg God to keep her interested in half an hour of sesame street. i’m not the mom i want to be right now, and that’s the hardest part of it all…but i know it will pass.
in the meantime, hot tea makes things a bit better…strangely, the smell of noxzema, cold grapefruit and as many naps as i can get.
and in the midst of it all…sweet friends brought me to tears when they arrived with brooms and mops and buckets the other day and sent me to my room while they scrubbed the dickens out of my house and left me with a clean, cozy place to guiltlessly settle into…and a bundle of happy daisies.
and enough about that.
there are so many fulfilling moments in between the yuks…
she has absolutely astounded us with the potty-training…like she’s been doing this for years. we don’t say anything to her…she just runs to the bathroom throughout the day and emerges a minute later with a smile and a “look, mama” as she proudly shows off her accomplishment. honestly, it’s the easiest thing we’ve faced in this parenthood thing.
she’s just…so big.
and, we did manage to slip in an isle of capri this weekend where, even with not feeling so hot, i was comforted by her greasy sunscreen cheeks and a cold sand bed.
oh, and the bathing suits? we generally wear about four throughout the day as, after a little wading and resting her butt in the sand while digging, she independently sheds her current suit and digs through our bag for the next one. huge fans of the wardrobe change, we are.
and finally…
the one area i try hard not to fall off the wagon is the memoir-ing.
finally moving along a bit on her third year book. the books mean far too much to me to let it go. and i’m progressing slowly on this pregnancy journal as well, but it’s so worth it later. this babyhood thing is far too fleeting to not grab as much as i can of it and document it…make it as beautiful as i remember.
oh, how i wish i had pictures of summer projects underway or some bubbling soup on the stove or stories of outside summer forts we built this week. they shall come in due time. for now, we are soaking in reality…knowing we are still blessed…and anticipating the gift all this will reap in a matter of a few short months.
still…enjoying the small things. ~k
I absolutely knew there was something wrong . . .too many days without a blog. You need to stop the guilt and just take it easy mama – wish I was around to help.
you are a GREAT mama!!! you invent games for your little to play with even though you feel like passing out – That is being a world class great mama. oh and sesame street – i think its great and educational and something kids should watch on tv. thanks to elmo jonah knows that x is for xylophone.
As for the house, it will still be there during your 2nd trimester when you start feeling better.
so rest and play couch games while wearing a noxema mustache to quell the nausea. at least your skin will be clean. 🙂
oh and do i spot a bit of a belly?! love it! xoxo!
oh…those memories of yucky-building-a-baby-days never leave our heads. happily, they pass for a much better outcome! you’ve got great friends! allow them to pamper you and don’t be so hard on yourself! lainey will thank you one day when she is playing with her sibling!
that’s the best advice I was given when pregnant. Not to feel guilty when you can’t do the great mama things you want to! I’m so glad you’ve got those friends coming over to help you out and I’m sure plenty more will be there these next few weeks! Love the project pages. Beautiful work!
Love your belly.
Love Lainey with the lemonade.
Love that LAST picture. OH MY WORD!
And I love this song…I heard this during one of my favorite guilty pleasure TV shows: “the o.c” and I just loved it.
the pics, the scrap pages, words, baby bump, and lainey…what a beautiful post!
yous a great mama…one of the best. growing a little baby sister or bro for lainey…you deserve and need to take it easy!
ps. good friends ROCK!!!! i know the clean house makes it all a little better!
xoxox
Sorry to hear you are still feeling sick! Let me know if there is anything I can do- I’m always available to come play with Lainey for a bit if you need a break. That’s what aunts are for 🙂
Hang in there, Kelle. This hard time shall pass. Sometimes we all need to retreat to our sofas! You are an amazing mother, and even amazing mothers need to rest! Hope you feel better soon.
You are surrounded by people that love you. Enjoy life and don’t worry about the little things.
I love your itty-bitty bellie bump. You will make it through this and its okay to cry and lay on the couch and do nada. You are growing a human being inside your body. Give yourself a break and take one day at a time.
Hang in there Kelle! It’s not easy feeling yucky (understatement of the year), but it will be all worth it when you see Lainey as the proud “big sister”. Lately when Liv is fussing about something, Paige will say to her, “It’s okay my little sister”. Quite precious! You’ll have another peanut in your arms before you know it!!!
it’s hard to remember that the pregnancy is really truly just a blip in time. lainey is not going to walk around for the rest of her life fretting that her mom forced her to wrap tp on her legs or brush her hair or apply noxema to her nose for her ENTIRE childhood! what she will remember is that you were WITH her.
and she’ll remember meeting her little. eventually.
it’s rough. i’m right there with you. less ick, it seems. but there. wishing i could be more present. but with a pilot husband and two littles. i’m hanging onto my knot at the end of my rope some days too.
wish i could do more to help you, (rather than just write super long comments.) take care darling. remember … just a blip.
Fresh ginger root under your tongue for the nausea…and a prayer of thanks for it. Love you, the bump and Lainey Love!
Kelle, hang in there the first few months are always hard. Soon to pass and all forgotten when you hold the new sweet pea!
Love your photos!
Bug’s Gram
Awww, sorry you’re feeling bad Kelle! You should let Lainey do your makeup as a “play on the couch game” – I bet it would be really funny! 🙂
Oh, friend, that just sucks. It’ll pass….is the precrip helping?? Thanks for rallying to give us an update! Mamahood is rich with ups and downs and I like hearing about all of it.
Also, I was all confused when I clicked over to your post…I just finished writing my next essay for mamalode and it is titled “sometimes it’s hard”. No joke.
talk soon, dig
The irony of this post is how sicky you feel and then you managed to create these amazing scrapbook pages for LL!! Incredible! (handing u scissors) Cut yourself some slack. 🙂
Hope you feel better!!
Kelly, just a few moments of your time, I would appreciate sooo much!!
I scrapbook from scratch digitally for my kids and get a lot of my layout ideas from your shutterfly books, esp when creative juices are slow. On shutterfly, I see Lainey years 2,3, 4; and Nella year 1 and 2. Did you stop using shutterfly? Is there a way to view your most recent book pages? (Lainey age 5 and up)?
And also, do you still use Microsoft program for scrapbooking, or have you switched to somthing else by now?
If you can just take a few teeny seconds (I know you are busy…I have 2 girls, and then a boy, just like you, so I know:) to answer I would so appreciate it!!
Thanks