Random Confession #1: I broke my phone this morning. Dropped it at a bad angle from the height of our bar stools and played the whole deer-in-the-headlights card when Brett walked in and saw the fate of my screen. Like I had no idea how it happened. And now I’m squinting to see between slivers of glass just to answer a call.

But it still works, so we’re gonna rock it out for awhile. It’ll be fun, right?

Random Confession #2: Sometimes I play hopscotch on random tile squares in my kitchen when no one’s looking.

Good. Glad we got that out of the way.

I don’t have a lot to say other than, after a week of overthinking everything, I am comfortably dwelling in a place of not thinking so much. Because if I think that my thinking about how I think affects my thinking, then my thinking about what I think of thinking changes how I think. I meant that to be confusing, by the way. My point is: I push myself to grow and learn and change and, in doing so, sometimes I think too much. Painfully overanalyzing.

The thing is, I have times, like every other human being, where I’m not quite sure of my place or if I’m doing things right. I have insecurities and areas where I know I can grow, and what I end up doing during times where these feelings are more prevalent is freaking out, thinking these feelings don’t belong. I’m more insecure with the feeling of insecurity itself than I am with the origin of the original insecurity. And that wasn’t meant to be confusing, but I’m sure it came out that way.

It’s a whole lot of rambling to say this…Not having everything together, not feeling like I’m on top of things, not feeling 100% confident 100% of the time is normal. And maybe even good for me. When a lack of confidence, insecurity, whatever you want to call it rears its ugly head, it doesn’t have to signal a five-alarm fire to get rid of it. Maybe it’s just a virus and needs to run its course, and maybe scrambling to prescribe something for it is a waste of concern.

I’m learning to embrace these less-confident times as purposeful and simply stepping stones to a greater assurance in the end. And maybe if I’m not the first to “raise my hand if I’m sure,” it doesn’t mean I forgot my deodorant but rather just that I’m working some things out. And when I do raise my hand? I’ll be as sure as shootin’, fresh pits and all.

This week is good. Clear and peaceful and not much thinking but rather a quiet contentment with this very moment. The right now.

~ Right now I am smiling watching the very present confidence that dwells in my little dancer who love, love, loves her ballet class.

~ Right now we are celebrating gulf temperatures slowly rising and the utopian weather that hits south Florida this time of year. Cerulean skies, pillowy clouds, and this invigorating concoction of sun plus breeze.

~ Right now we are getting reacquainted with pools and waterparks.

~ Right now I am completely moonstruck over my firstborn. Feeling very sentimental about how fast that flash of time is between she’s my first, my one, my only and now when things and time and feelings are shared and spread and blended. And yet I am so proud of her ability to ride the current and make very known that she is indeed just fine.

I had a rare opportunity the other night to sneak away with her alone. Rocked her to sleep by the light of the moon, and it was very good.

Her favorite game right now is “I’m the mama and you’re the honey” which is pretty self-explanatory.

~ Right now I am loving listening to my beach-loving husband get all excited talking about the Isle of Capri Sundays to come.

~ Right now I am happy to pencil in more playdates…

…and make necessary room for dates with my own friends whether it’s a quick coffee en route to the grocery store or a planned evening of a rousing “I am Woman, Hear me Roar” chorus. Last night I had the latter with a few girls and am happy to report it was one of those times where every single song that blasted out the restaurant speakers was the best song we’d ever heard. Like Old School good. Toto and U2 and Men at Work. Yeah, that kind ‘o good.

~ Right now I am enjoying turning our garage into our evening hang-out of choice. The modern day front porch.

~ Right now I am unsure, unfinished. And I am happy.

My favorite onesie from one of my favorite Etsy shops, Lee Marie.

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” ~Mary Anne Radmacher

And right now, I’ll share a nice opportunity to score the perfect spring dress for your little…or yourself from Shabby Apple.

A commenter from this post will be randomly selected to win a free dress, your choice, provided by Shabby Apple, makers of fabulous vintage-inspired goodies. And use this code for 10% off: enjoyingthesmallthings10off.

And, I keep forgetting to share this inspiring video put together by filmmaker Erica Hill for the NDSS. It touched me so.

Happy Midweek, Friends.

The gulf was wild tonight.

Its waters somersaulting and aimlessly slapping the tide leaving a thin white foam that hissed and fizzed in the pink light of a setting sun.

Heidi and the kids joined us. Because I know Heidi’s just like me. These kinds of things go down best when they are unplanned, when thirty seconds after I have the itch to taste salty air and feel sand beneath my feet, I call her with a “Beach. Now. You in?” and she doesn’t hesitate a second before buckling her kids in the car and burning rubber, heading west.

It was still and calm, and you couldn’t help but be moved by watching our three willowy ones brave the chilly waters, flailing their arms and swinging their legs like interpretive dancers.

Or the cautious curiosity of the littlest one, timidly raking the sand, pulling her knees to her chest to keep her feet from getting wet, cradling her tiny baby doll to keep her safe, a far cry from her usual bullied babysitting techniques. But she was happy. Always happy.

I’ve never been to a sunset yet on this beach where there wasn’t an enthusiastic crowd of seniors gathered to cheer on a bocce game. A different crowd every time but always the same place–hugged along the edge of the boardwalk. Their skin is tanned, their smiles white and handsome, and without fail, someone is wearing a flat cap. Buona Sera!

For once, I didn’t really think tonight. No sunset ponderings. Not even the smacked-in-the-face realization of “I love this moment” which happens a lot for me. It was just still and peaceful and so very carefree. It was good…that thoughtless state of relaxation that must come periodically to recharge our senses.

My friend Julie got me these Hunters for my birthday, and I adore them. I told Julie I liked hers and she went and got me a pair. Note to Self: Tell Julie you like her car.

And I love that when I’m with Heidi, there is no pressure to talk or perform or catch up, even though we do that every morning on the phone. We just exist, happily together, swapping kids, brushing sand, ssshing babies…but completely aware of each other’s presence. Plus, she always remembers to bring snacks for my kids which is more than I can say.

However, I did tell her I’d help take care of her kids if she went to jail for launching this rocket on a public beach.

Thankfully, after getting the kids all excited about it and admonishing beach pedestrians to “step away, step away”, neither one of us knew how to work it and a bottle of vinegar, a box of baking soda and an embarrassing conversation with a guy who tried to help us later, this thing did nothing but leak a bunch of vinegar and stink up the beach. A big fat dud. The bonus of course being Heidi didn’t go to jail.

But the rest? Oh, it was good. It was very good indeed.

Happy to announce…

Poulin’s back. Ready to attack.
Yup, renewing sponsor Mark Poulin‘s got some awesome new stuff in his shop.
His handmade metal and enamel jewelry is fun, quirky and destined to become a conversation piece. He’s an amazing artist, and I’m thrilled to have him on board again. (Check out his city rings!)

That is all tonight.

Sweet Dreams.

I refill my coffee cup this morning and peel off the sixteen Dora stickers Lainey has stuck to the arm of my sweatshirt as I watch my jammied girls roll around on carpet desperately in need of vacuuming. The last of the company has left, the happy whirlwind has ended. George took my mom to the airport and, for the first time, I wasn’t sad when she left. Because she is happy, and I didn’t have to watch from my car as she turned to wave goodbye, pulling her carry-on behind her.

All is good.

We spent the entire day yesterday ambling along the two-and-a-half mile boardwalk that encircles Cypress trees, Slash Pines and a hidden world of gators, panthers and southern birds at Corkscrew Swamp Sanctuary.

I felt calm and present, converted into a greater admirer of nature, moved by the curiosity of my girls, inspired by the reverence of my mom and her new love who scoped the landscape with his binoculars and knew all the names of the birds like the Pileated Woodpecker and Red-shouldered Hawk.

I may not know the names of the birds or quite capture them like my father-in-law, but I did my best.

What?

Moving on.

The great thing about entertaining out-of-town company is that I rediscover the beauty of our sunny place and fall a little more in love, every time, with the elements that make up our latitude when I’m showing it to someone else. The thick humidity, the lush ferns, the tall bare trunks of our pines and the great many palms that accessorize our sun-kissed town.

And it makes me wish I would have spent a little more time when I lived in Michigan venturing out to see its best more–the dunes, the light houses, the quaint fishing towns hugging the Great Lakes. Because there are hidden best spots in every state, and the challenge lies in finding them. (We get it, right? Bloom where you’re freaking planted. I’ll stop beating a dead horse). And I’m again thankful that last year I was able to discover a little more about our great America, from the quiet mountains of Montana to the grand snowy splendor of Utah.

Still happy to be right where we are at this moment though.

Home.

See that one red leaf? That one little speck of red leaf? I imagine he was thinking “what am I going to do with my one wild and precious life?” and he decided he was going to dare to be different. He declared his redness against that mess of plain ‘ol green because he’s a badass. Look at him rocking out his fabulousness. You go, little red leaf.

We spotted a smattering of birds, one large lazy alligator sunning his scales on a lake island, a few turtles, and one shy squirrel sprawled out against a pine branch. But mostly, we just enjoyed each others’ company amid the warmth and highly-oxygenated latitude of 26.3909143. I looked it up.

Lainey’s shirt, a gift from Dig.


Lainey’s newest is to grab my camera and say “Jump, Mom.”

High on plant life, we finally left the swamp in exchange for a rousing game of driveway ping-pong where we cheered Brett and George as they dived and contorted and impressively conducted a steady accompaniment of Ping. Ping. Ping.

And now we recompose the emotion of our home, straightening the happy messes that arose from complacency and shifting back into our routine. Ebb and Flow, Baby.

We spent the morning lost in books.

And I’m thrilled to profess my love for one of my favorite children’s literature distributors, Usborne Books, and have their Independent Consultant Amanda Collins onboard as a new sponsor.

As a former elementary school teacher, I was quite familiar with Usborne’s quality, interest level and way of presenting information to kids in engaging bite-sized pieces. By far, Lainey’s most favorite book in the world is There’s a Mouse About the House, an interactive funny story that allows kids to hide the sneaky mouse in hidden flaps and slots throughout the book.

Definitely a must-have for every child’s library. Check out the amazing range of age-levels, interests and hobbies available from Amanda’s site. Order before March 15th and you’ll be entered in a drawing for a $100 gift card.

A random commenter will be winning a $50 gift certificate to her store, too!

To keep it interesting, tell me your favorite magical place to visit near your home. Where’s your Corkscrew Swamp, your Isle of Capri, your latitude that reminds you to be happy in your place? Spill it.

And winner of the Bambaroos Gift Certificate from the last post is Commenter #47, Aja: Major congrats on the fundraiser!!! And how sweet are your mom and George??? I love it!

Aja, please send your contact info to kellehamptonblog@comcast.net. Thanks!

Love where you live, and Happy Monday!