Enjoying the Small Things

Enjoying the Small Things

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Week 1,619

February 12, 2010 By Kelle

I began to title this post “Week 3,” as in our-third-week-into-this or three-weeks-since-the-big-day, but I am beginning to see this differently and, as this is simply one step on the grander scheme of life, I am rather officically 1,619 Weeks into it. Life, that is. That’s 31 years, give or take a few weeks.

Last night, a friend sent me a passage she had underlined in her copy of Maya Angelou’s Wouldn’t Take Nothing From My Journey Now, and I smiled reading it.

“Life is pure adventure, and the sooner we realize that, the quicker we will be able to treat life as art; to bring all our energies to each encounter, to remain flexible enough to notice and admit when what we expected to happen did not happen. We need to remember that we are created creative and can invent new scenarios as frequently as they are needed.”

And oh, how true that is…and our real-life has exemplified a new understanding of that these past weeks.

Life as Art.

I have consciously been able to control my sadness and coming-to-terms with all of this quite well, but the past few days, that subconscious sadness–the part that can’t be controlled with self-talks and good quotes–that cloud of can-this-be-happening? that seems to follow and shadow me no matter how many times I watch The Hangover (four, in a row, to be exact) to mask the seriousness of it…well, it was beginning to get to me.

I hate “The Bus.” I tried to lapse on payments so the repo truck would come and drag it away, but it lingered, not so much running over me like a few weeks ago or even hitting me, for that matter. I still have the grill marks on my face from the last hit, so that was nice of the bus; however, it’s the threat of a hit…the unknown…the smell of the exhaust or perhaps the memory of the pain of the last hit. And, I’ve been known to take a good analogy and fly it to the moon with exaggeration, so I’ll chill on the bus thing before you’re left scratching your head, but I’ll have you know I once likened one of my sister’s bad days to cows in pasture eating grass or somethin’ or other and, by the end, the cows had run out of the fence, the grass had been eaten, I think there was manure, and my sister and I were left laughing hysterically by the end of the analogy because we had no idea what we were even talking about anymore. I am often asked, in the middle of an elaborate analogy, “Where are you going with this?” And the answer, I tell you, is…to the moon.

Back to the bus. The thing is, I hate being sad. I hate being negative. And while I may be teased on my over-positivity or need to find a cape emblazoned with “Enjoying the @#!*-ing Small Things,” I too wallow in a bad mood from time to time. However, I’ve found I am quite healed by the Fake It Till You Make It Strategy–searching for the good (and there’s lots to find), writing about the good, taking pictures of the good, talking about the good–basically bathing in the many little things that bring joy to our life until I am no longer faking it, I believe it completely and have allowed the good to rise above the bad in that ever present glass of “Half Full.” Unrealistic? Perhaps, but I don’t think so. Regardless, I’d much rather live life as an unrealistic optimist than a realistic miserable pessimist. It’s so much more fun.

So, we’ve continued to do that…and it’s not just this whole thing that has challenged us. We’ve been doing it for years.

And if we had a gallery, we would exhibit pieces of our life this week. Slices of wonderfulness.


Life as Art: An Exhibit of our Week…

The Art of an Afternoon Cup of Coffee.

…enhanced by the accompaniment of a snuggled baby.

The Art of an Evening Picnic at the Lake with Cousin Joann.

The Art of a Dog Pondering Life in the Eastern Sunlight

and A Little Dog Protecting a Little Baby

The Art of Two Little Friends

(and I have to say, my girl’s friendships have meant so much to me these past weeks…I just want her to be happy. I want her to be unaffected by the emotions, the change. And seeing her in total bliss, skipping around with her little gap-toothed grin and wayward pigtails…well, that makes it all seem better).

The Art of New Baby Feet
(which, in my opinion, may just be the most delicious form of art there is)

The Art of Watching the Littles Entertain the New Baby
(and her little eyes taking it all in. Yes, she is loved…and that is how she will learn to be just as fabulous as she will be…which is very, very fabulous.)

The Art of a New Space
It’s been awhile since I did something new to the house…and it always makes me so happy to “feather our nest.” A friend stopped by a couple weeks ago when we brought Nella home and completely surprised me with two beautiful chairs for my girls from the furniture store she works at…and I fell in love hard and heavy with their quilted fabulousness and have been waiting to highlight them deservingly. Finally, yesterday, with a small handful of Craiglist earned cash, I walked into Homegoods and found a clearanced slightly damaged trunk, a lamp, an old suitcase and a few picture frames…all for less than that handful of cash. Then rushed home to set it up and hence improve the quality of my day a trillionfold.
So, out with the big clunky couch and in with the…

Superfun Play/Workroom

(p.s. Trunk double duties as storage…all my photography props fit inside, and the suitcase stores my printer paper.)

…and our gallery continues to grow.

…bringing all our energies to each encounter. …and we don’t have to fake that to make that. It’s real, and it’s beautiful.

1,619. That’s a really good number.

…and it’s only gunna get better and better.

The daddy comes home tonight…and we are anticipating his arrival like a soldier’s welcome home.

Life as Art…painting it beautifully. ~k

Filed Under: Coping, Designer Genes, Mamahood, Our Everyday 140 Comments

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Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. Heather says

    February 12, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    Hi Kelle!
    I just wanted to leave you a note saying I admire your positivity and your strength. Your girls and your home are lovely, thank you for letting the world in!

    Reply
  2. Anonymous says

    February 12, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    So many life lessons to be learned in this post. Thank you for making me take time, to “relearn” them.

    Reply
  3. Janita says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:04 pm

    You continue to inspire, you amazing woman….and it’s only when one possesses a brilliant inner beauty that the light shines forth this bright. Let this land on you. Soak it in. And if it’s all right with you, I may just pack up my husband and kids and come hang out in your fun room…the pictures alone make me want to do kartwheels! (which would just end badly….)Give your precious munchkins a big ‘ole bear hug from Canada.

    Reply
  4. BennyG says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    Just a note to let you know that I have been praying for you, I just knew that bus was lurking in your neighborhood….I know your pain, first hand. It is a journey and time will heal and your best healing will come from Nella Cordelia! Have you noticed that when you look into her eyes that it seems like she can see inside your soul? The only way that I can explain it is that you will be her teacher but then you will also become her student learning things you never would have learned on any other road. I am 9 years up the road from you and my boy has taught me so much and my life is richer and fuller then I ever dreamed it could be….cry when you have to, I promise the waves of grief will become less and less, until they fully dissappear! The chairs are beautiful!! I love what you did, and I am a true believer that shopping is our best therapy!! Hugs!

    Reply
  5. Nicole S says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:14 pm

    I literally said “yay a new Kelle Post” out loud to myself when I saw this pop up! And I too love analogy’s and find myself half way through thinking of how I can make it work. Love it! As far as that bus, well I know a slew of people willing and able to slash the tires, rip it apart for parts and forever remove it from your life! Maybe in the end you’re suppose to get on the bus and enjoy the ride? It was just too early to pick you up and maybe you weren’t ready, but one day you will be. Bags packed, luggage tags and your camera ready for the view . . . of the cows? 🙂 it will all make sense. I’m sure it will!

    Reply
  6. Brooke says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    I first read Nella’s story a few days ago, and I haven’t stopped thinking about you and your family since. I have gone back and read your older posts, and now look forward to each new one. You are such an inspiration. Your story is wonderful, and you tell it beautifully. Thank you for sharing it with the world, and know that you are affecting so many people in a huge way with it.
    You have a beautiful family, and your daughters are absolutely precious – not to mention your images are always stunning. Keep up the great work, and hold your head up high.

    P.S. I absolutely adore the new chairs! 🙂

    Reply
  7. Robin says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    I love, love, LOVE what BennyG said. We will be teachers to our children and also students. So true…they teach us so much each day, and Nella will be no different. In fact, she will be so much more of a teacher, I can already guess. Thanks for sharing your family’s story. It is a beautiful one.

    Reply
  8. Sunnie says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:26 pm

    You have two VERY beautiful girls!!!
    Sunnie

    Reply
  9. Jasmine says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    I love it, such a beautiful life 🙂 Keep smiling.

    Reply
  10. Kari says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    My first comment on a blog ever. Not sure how I got here. There must be a reason.

    YOU are simply amazing.

    Thank you for sharing your stories.

    Reply
  11. Confessions of a Closet Hoarder but you can call me Judy says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    “I’d much rather live life as an unrealistic optimist than a realistic miserable pessimist. It’s so much more fun.”

    That’s because you believe in Hope. Hope is good. Hope will get you through a lot of bus encounters! Hope will sustain you, inspire you, lift you, energize you. And even when life doesn’t seem live up to it’s potential, Hope will come alongside and envelope you.

    You’re going to do just fine, Kelle. 🙂

    Wishing you a wonderful life in Hope’s eternal embrace! 🙂

    Reply
  12. Sarah says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    Just found this blog (from a FB post, if you wonder). Wanted to say: beautiful children, beautiful photography, beautiful words.

    Congratulations!

    Reply
  13. Anonymous says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    Love.

    Reply
  14. Vonda says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:32 pm

    I have to tell you that I pull up your blog at least 30 times a day to see if you’ve added more pictures, so I was elated to see these. And I’ve mentioned before that I love baby toes, so those pictures melted my heart today. Your children are beautiful and I am so in love with Miss Nella. My girls laugh when they pass my computer and will say “mommy are you looking at Nella’s pictures AGAIN”, just like she is an old friend. My Noah will be 11 in May an I have a LOT of things that I’ve learned on this journey so if you ever want to hear them let me know, I’d love to share them. We live in Maryland and travel to Florida at least once a year and I’d LOVE to meet you guys some day. You are truly blessed. A poem was shown to me in the first few weeks after Noah’s birth and it helped me so much. You may have seen it already, but I’ll attach it just in case. It’s beautiful. And while I’m here I have to ask WHERE did you get those lovely quilted chairs that I see in so many photos. I’m in love with them. See we CAN talk about other things and not just the DOWN SYNDROME. ha ha. I love you guys already!!!

    http://www.journeyofhearts.org/kirstimd/holland.htm

    Reply
  15. Jolene - EverydayFoodie says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    What beautiful girls!! And I love those chairs 🙂 Your photos amaze me.

    Reply
  16. Sheva says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:35 pm

    I somehow showed up here at your blog. You knoe one friend suggest to another to another, but i haven’t stopped crying. Welcome to the new world. My story is your story but just 6 months ago.My tears were your tears and now my joy is joy. Your little ones are both gorgeous in their own way, and welcome Nella, Rozie hopes you guys can be best friends!

    Reply
  17. Rochelle says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    Kelle,

    Love your blog, your words & photography are amazing.
    Your girls are a sweet little piece of heaven here on earth. Our daughter is 16 months and also has that little something extra.
    She is a pure joy.
    We look forward to following your journey. You have come a long way in just a few short weeks.

    Reply
  18. Molly Alisa Photography says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:41 pm

    Beautiful.

    And it is all beautiful.

    Life really is art. I love to read what you write, and to take in the photos of your gorgeous life and children.

    I don’t know if I’d call myself an optimist necessarily; but I do believe that the good and bad in life are equally beautiful because the bad only gives us a deeper capacity to embrace and appreciate the good. To understand and hold the people around us more closely. I try to treasure it all, because it flies by so fast.

    God has already used your family to inspire so many people through the beautiful gift of Nella. Congrats on your stunningly precious, absolutely gorgeous, couldn’t be more perfect baby girl. 🙂

    Reply
  19. Tammy B says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    Well Kelle, your words are inspiring. I can never get over how beautifully you put it all out there. I can’t even get my thoughts together to write a coherent comment for goodness sakes! And you write these most eloquent posts. Just wanted to let you know, we are thinking of you often, and April and I chat about you just about every day 🙂

    That little miss Nella seems to be getting so big already. She is just such a little sweetie. Wish I could come cuddle with her for a couple of hours. And that big sister is pretty awesome too. I want to fast foward a little bit, so I can hear some more stories about their adventures!

    Oh, and love those new chairs too. Have a super great weekend with Brent home (as I’m sure you will).

    Reply
  20. Anonymous says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:47 pm

    You are amazing. I cannot begin to explain how beautiful Nella is. I was in your path just 29 short months ago. We have been blessed with such joyful, caring, and sweet little gifts. I look forward to reading many more posts. Your photography is gorgeous 🙂

    Reply
  21. Jorie says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:48 pm

    I’ve been coming back to your blog daily while my little ones nap and hope to read more about your contagious optimism and love. Your little girls are precious and your photography seems to capture so much in their little faces.

    My best friend got me hooked on your blog when she found it because your story seems to mirror her story. And my unending love for my best friend and her beautiful baby boy who just happens to have downs syndrome continues to flourish each and every time I see them or speak to them.

    Congratulations on your absolutely gorgeous family and keep those eyes open to all that your children will teach you…for it cannot be measured!

    Reply
  22. Poppa says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    Re-arranged rooms. Like life’s changes and challenges, we find beauty in a Homegoods gently bruised bargain and a new style stimulus in imported Indian chairs and, voila, the playroom is now the perfect place to read stories to your littles or enjoy morning coffee while Lainey cooks some imaginary cuisine in her kitchen. Resilience is a virtue I am treasuring more. The other day I saw an amazing Youtube video of a tugboat approaching a bridge. The pilot realized the bridge was too low, but it was too late…the current was strong and in spite of the engines, the boat was drawn under the bridge. It turned on its side and took on water…which made the boat low enough to make it under the bridge. Once under it, it uprighted…and bilge pumps began pumping the water from the hull…and not far downstream, the boat was clearly upright and appeared none the worse for wear. I have been thinking of that scene, Kelle. I have been thinking of you. Yes, re-arrange the room. Its all good. It’s home. It’s a happy home. I will be there soon. I will take Lainey and Nella on “moon walks” with cozy blankets and a flashlight. We will watch Hangover again. We will do Karaoke and dance our pants off. We will laugh at busses.

    Reply
  23. Anonymous says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    A friend gave me the link to your blog a few days ago and I can’t stop reading. You are an inspiration in so many ways. You’re girls are absolutely beautiful and I look forward to watching them grow. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  24. Kara Brown says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your life and perspective. I SO enjoy reading this blog! Amazing pictures, amazing words…..amazing story.

    Reply
  25. amy says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    oh how i wish i could give you a hug. and we’re total strangers. but the thing is, you are living a life completely like mine. one day, almost three years ago now, i awoke to a very similar scene. i was fumbling, searching, at times, begging, for my old life. a life before down syndrome. but, with all confidence, i can tell you that my “new” life is so much better than my old one. you were let in on a little secret a few weeks ago. that life is full of many imperfections and thankfully so. it’s those imperfections that add character and richness and depth to our lives. i know you get it already. i can tell in your last few posts. the sadness will fade, the recurring diagnosis will too, and love will fill in the spaces until it’s oozing all over! your daughters are beautiful. you are blessed.

    sending much love your way,
    amy jupin

    Reply
  26. Aggie says

    February 12, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    I was also excited to see a new post…a little single white female of me but, I really love the way you write and it hits me so so hard. Nella is more and more beautiful each and every day and her little toes..well they are just nummy. I hope you’re doing ok..I think about you so often and pray. I have forwarded your story to so many friends and Mommies. I know they all have the same reaction…tears, they are moved, changed and branded by your words forever…you are amazing. Keep us all posted and we are “here” for you. God bless <><
    -Aggie / Chicago

    Reply
  27. Jessica says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:05 pm

    Your words are beautiful, and your girls are so blessed to have a mama who puts them first and who wants them to know how precious they are. You’re such a good mama, and your story leaves me breathless every time I visit.

    Reply
  28. Joann says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:10 pm

    :)That’s what this post made me do.

    Reply
  29. CEC says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:11 pm

    I think I check your blog 25 times a day from work, just to see what pearls of inspiration you have for us today. And once I’ve gotten to enjoy your thoughts and beautiful photos of the day, I love to read your dad’s comments. I can totally see where you get your spectacular writing abilities. Your whole family is an inspiration – Thank you for sharing your stories, analogies and beautiful photographs. I am in awe.

    Reply
  30. Joan says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:11 pm

    beautiful – love the ones of lainey and nella. absolute magic.

    Reply
  31. Marie says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:13 pm

    Seriously… we’re strangers, yet you inspire me.

    Reply
  32. BennyG says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:16 pm

    Ok I just have to post this!!! Kelle, I can tell where you get your beauty of the world and talent for writing….from your “Poppa.” “Poppa” I enjoy your posts too!! Enjoy your three beautiful girls!!!

    Reply
  33. Anonymous says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:19 pm

    Kelle,

    I was led to your blog through a friend posting in on FB, and have spent the last week reading, re-reading, and re-reading. You are a blessing and an inspiration, as are your beautiful girls. I have gone through much kleenex while reading your blog. The tears just keep flowing…tears of sadness, tears of joy, tears of hope, tears of gratefulness. I am a mother of 4 little ones. I share the bond of motherhood with you, and share the depth of love and passion we have for our children. I struggle to enjoy the small things, and often feel totally overwhelmed by my life at home with 4. Thank you for these moments of quiet…listening to this beautiful music, taking in the light and overwhelming beauty of your photos, and pondering the wisdom and heartfelt honesty of your words.

    I can see, by your father’s posts, where your deep insight and magic with words comes from. Every time I read one of his comments I cry even more…how blessed you are to have your father in your life.

    With love from Minnesota,
    Aimee

    Reply
  34. Anonymous says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    Wow, I can’t even come up with the words to describe what I feel when I read your posts, they just move me. My 3 year old daughter climbed on the couch beside me when I was looking at your pictures and said “Look at that beautiful baby, and she has a big sister just like I am a big sister. I wish I could live at their house, they have nice toys and a nice baby.” Please give your baby an extra cuddle from my girls and I today, I miss the newborn smells, sounds and cuddles!!!

    Reply
  35. jen says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:24 pm

    i think yhe half full look at life is so much prettier … somedays it just takes a bit longer to find the positives.
    and baby feet? oh dear … i just filled my header with a footy picture … so in love with baby feet.
    homeggods? one of my favorite places on earth … though not my husband’s.

    Reply
  36. Tina Aguilar says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:30 pm

    Kelle — you don’t know me (probably much like a lot of people who found your blog) but I am inspired by you and in awe of your beautiful family! Since reading the story of Nella’s birth, I can’t stop thinking about your family. You are such a beautiful person — honest, raw and admirable. I am using your words and experiences to help shape my life – to help me be a better mommy and wife. I just hope you know that you are touching people in ways you never thought possible. And I am really enjoying watching lil’ Nella and Lainey grow and blossom thru your stories and pictures. You have a very rich life and it’s awesome to see you embrace it and share it!

    Reply
  37. Jennifer says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:35 pm

    LOVE this blog. This is the first one I’ve followed, and I can’t stop checking to see when you post new pictures. Although, I love your words… it was your daughters’ clothes that first caught my attention. Nothing cuter than a little girl in Matilda Jane.

    Can’t wait to read more!

    Reply
  38. Allison says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:36 pm

    I just found your blog about a week ago, but I just want to say that I’m in love with it.

    The beauty of your photographs, of your girls, and of your willingness to overcome sadness is just so wonderful.

    As has been said before everyone who knows Nella will be touched beyond words. There is just so much blessing to be had from little girls like her. I’m sure there will be times when it’s hard, but in the end it will all be worth.

    May God bless your family!

    Reply
  39. AJH says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:36 pm

    I love your blog, and your girls are BEAUTIFUL! I have been thinking about sharing this with you for about 3 weeks now, but didn’t know if it would be encouragement…both our children are adopted. Our princess came to us at 22 hours old perfect in every single way, healthy from the start and who could ask for anything more…thank.you.very.much! Our son came to us 3 months later and 6 days old! Within hours of him being home I KNEW that something wasn’t ‘right’ and started a long journey of trying to find what that SOMETHING was! It took 14 months! It could have taken our Boo away from us if it would have had just 4-6 more months, but it didn’t. However, right in the thick of it all I couldn’t lift the feeling of how this was taking away from my beautiful perfect healthy Princess I would say things to my husband like “sometimes I wish this wasn’t ‘our’ story” or and it kills me now to even admit I said this but, “if he leaves us I am going to be so angry that he took all that time away from his sister for nothing.” It was hard, very hard. It turned me into what I thought of myself as a monster…others said they understood where I was coming from…but I thought I was a monster! What mom…let alone adoptive mom…would think things like that, right? Well, it is normal to think about the what ifs and the if onlys and I still do once in a while. Now my babies are three and I wouldn’t want life to be anything less than it is. My Princess is strong and protective of her brother and my Boo struggles through things but at the end of the day it is his Mama (the monster) or his sister that he needs encouragement and love from…and that is beautiful!

    The way you are so open and honest and the way you are loving is beautiful. There is no other way to say it! Keep rocking it girl, you are doing great!

    Reply
  40. Megan says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:41 pm

    Hello. I just started following you. Thank you so much for sharing your story. *hugs*

    Reply
  41. KC says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:43 pm

    Nella Cordelia needs you as much as you need her. You need your family and friends as much as they need you. You are all so fortunate to have each other. All you need is the healing power of Love…

    “ …I want to beg you, as much as I can, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” Rainer Maria Rilke

    Reply
  42. Heidi says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:47 pm

    aw. my little guy and little lainey…i so know they are getting married one day!!!

    i love the pics of them together and this morning entertaining for Ice Cream…hello…precious!!!!!

    xo

    Reply
  43. Shelley says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:47 pm

    Kelle – I found your blog via Emma Sage – and it is truly beautiful – those photoes are stunning. I too am on a journey (yes welcome to the ‘DS Community’)similar to yours – and so far I can absolutely promise you that your instincts are right – it just gets better and better – in fact – it’s pretty *@#!! fantastic really. Doesn’t mean that sorrow goes – I still feel it – but it is easier to keep in perspective and perhaps it is what helps accentuate the very precious and joyful life we have – partly because we love someone with Down Syndrome.

    Reply
  44. mrc-w says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:48 pm

    Love Lainey’s green shoes!

    I music studio class, I tell the students something similar to the “fake-it-’til-you-make-it” bit. Our motto is “Do your best and fake the rest” haha 🙂

    Reply
  45. Christina says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:49 pm

    Your two daughters are beautiful. Your photography is amazing as well. Congratulations on every day you have with both sweet babies. They are both truly lucky to have you and these wonderful books you put together with daily pictures.
    I was adopted at 3 months, and have only 1 picture of myself as a baby taken by a foster parent before then. I think it is a gift to be able to capture memories in pictures.
    I hope you enjoy every moment of your weekend with all of your family at home.

    Reply
  46. Margaret says

    February 12, 2010 at 7:52 pm

    Thanks so much for your “Fake it till you make it” words. I am a bit ‘down’ at present- coming to terms with singleness and menopause I guess. But I also like to take photographs, and notice the small beauties in the world. Thanks for your conviction that following those things brings healing. You have helped me today…

    Reply
  47. Kate Wicker @ Momopoly says

    February 12, 2010 at 8:00 pm

    Your words, girls, outlook, art and life are all beautiful. Thank you for sharing your beauty with the rest of us.

    Reply
  48. Jeremy and Mindy says

    February 12, 2010 at 8:00 pm

    Everytime I look at her, I melt. I’m thinking of you constantly. Please keep updating us!

    Reply
  49. Tina says

    February 12, 2010 at 8:05 pm

    I am really glad I stumbled on to your blog…your writing is honest and shows your authentic self…wide open, its refreshing and real. Your welcome to check out my blog there is a section that I just started called BIRTH-day stories. BIRTH moves us all, your written mmemory of Nella’s birth is amazing. Your sweet girlies are beautiful.

    Reply
  50. Ann says

    February 12, 2010 at 8:09 pm

    No offense to my Mom but I want Poppa to adopt me.

    Reply
  51. Belle says

    February 12, 2010 at 8:10 pm

    Beautiful girls! The “fake it till you make it” method is my favorite too. 😉

    Reply
  52. ashleyenfrance says

    February 12, 2010 at 8:13 pm

    Your girls are beautiful and I love their names! Sweet Nella (and Lainey) is lucky to have you as a Mama. I am new on the journey that is motherhood (my girl is 3.5 months old), but I can see that your girls love you.
    Your story has touched me in many ways and I look forward to seeing it unfold.

    Reply
  53. Amber says

    February 12, 2010 at 8:23 pm

    I love the chairs…they are so adorable and perfect for 4 adorable little girls! I should just mention how much I’ve thought of you since I read Nella’s birth story the other day. That line “Love me. Love me. I’m not what you expected, but oh, please love me.” just makes me tear up when I think of it, which is often. I’ve always had a soft spot for Down’s babies, and I don’t think she could have been born to parents who would love her more than you can and are. She’s so sweet, her big sister is so sweet, YOU are sweet and I’ve been very inspired by your blog and your daughters, because they are teaching me very meaningful lessons on what love is and showing me that we would miss out on so much if God allowed us to have our own version of perfect. She’s beautiful…and I can’t articulate what she’s done for me, but I know she is going to change the world.

    Reply
  54. Kristen says

    February 12, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    You have a gift for taking beautiful photos and putting just the right words with them. Your blog is a peaceful place to visit. I like to tune in even when you don’t have a new post just to listen to your awesome playlist! Thanks for sharing yourself and your family…

    Reply
  55. Joedee Robinson says

    February 12, 2010 at 8:26 pm

    I’m an addicted follower of your blog after reading and seeing Nella’s birth story. But I just wanted to say, you have the best dressed children I’ve ever seen! I have a little girl…and how fun are they to dress? I’m completely jealous of Lainey’s wardrobe. And not just for my daughter but for ME!

    Reply
  56. makeupandpearls says

    February 12, 2010 at 8:26 pm

    Kelle your strength is amazing. Your family is simply beautiful. Revel in the small things – one day at a time. One baby step at a time.

    Sending you hugs from CA,
    Laura

    Reply
  57. Domestic Diva says

    February 12, 2010 at 8:32 pm

    sweet post, as always, Kelle! love your new space (especially the chairs!) wishing you a happy, happy weekend …

    excuse me while i rush off to do the shakedown!

    ps – are you still nursing your little bunny? just curious. i think of you every time i’m nursing my big boy to bed 🙂

    Reply
  58. beth says

    February 12, 2010 at 8:36 pm

    Congrats to your family on Nella’s birth! She’s very beautiful! I found your blog through a friend’s blog. I have a 5yr old daughter who has DS and a 2yr daughter who thinks she’s a princess!! I can’t explain to you the joy both my daughters give us. They are the best sisters; so concerned for each other. Yes, we still have the “typical” fights over toys ect.. My oldest is in her second year of Tap and Ballet. When she was born I went through the fear that she wouldn’t be able to do things that other “typical” kids do. She has proven me wrong in SO MANY instances!!! Her little sister is anxiously waiting to join her sister next year in Tap! Congrats again and look forward to reading more about your two girls!!!

    Reply
  59. Michelle says

    February 12, 2010 at 8:45 pm

    I’ve been waiting for some closeups of her beautiful eyes, to see if she has Brushfields Spots or not…nope! But she does have the delicious toe gap!! SO beautiful to me.
    Kelle, in your attempts to see the good and be positive, try not to forget that you are allowed to be sad sometimes too. sad doesnt mean you arent 100% accepting of Nella and your new life, it just means you’re human. Hang in there.

    Reply
  60. ErinB says

    February 12, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    I have loved reading about your beautiful, loving family and wanted to share something a friend of mine told me while my 5 month old daughter spent her first 2 months in the NICU:
    Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise or pain…it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart:) God Bless your family!

    Reply
  61. Amy says

    February 12, 2010 at 8:51 pm

    You’re babies are beautiful. I don’t “know” you but I have thought about you everyday since I first read your story. The love you have for your family pours off the page with each word. Thank you for sharing your story. Loving thoughts will keep being sent your way!

    Reply
  62. Andrea says

    February 12, 2010 at 9:04 pm

    Your girls are so gorgeous!! And your little pearl, Nella – her eyes – one of her characteristics of difference – they are extraordinarily beautiful….I honestly get delicious chills from your pictures of her.

    I have truly enjoyed your honesty….and you are not “faking it”….that is exactly the recipe for happines – to one by one count all the blessings and good things.

    I look forward to reading more of your blog. 🙂

    Reply
  63. Jess and Krissy says

    February 12, 2010 at 9:05 pm

    Oh, both your girls are so precious! I love the way Nella looks like she’s listening to the big kids so intently. Super cute! Praying for you.

    Reply
  64. katie says

    February 12, 2010 at 9:09 pm

    I have just recently started reading your blog…a friend of mine passed on the link with Nella’s story – and now I’m hooked. Your writing is honest and comforting…and your girls are beatiful!

    Reply
  65. Vicki says

    February 12, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    It will be ok, really it will and your oldest will love her and willhave a wonderful relationship with her! I was so worried about my 3 yr old when my daughter w DS was born. I had imagined this perfect sister relationship they would have, I was an only. Now that Emme is 3 and kenzie is 6, they have a beautiful relationship, it’s different than I expected but it’s great, and I don’t think I was being too realistic anyway 😉
    Fake it til you make it! and keep watching the hangover!

    Reply
  66. Robin says

    February 12, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    I just happened upon your blog, and I am speechless… Your words and thoughts were mine 21 months ago. I have days still that the fear will creap back in, but I just run and find my little boy and am brought back to what is real. Learn from your little girl Lainey. My daughter was 3 when I had our son, and her face was the same as your daughters, proud. She was so proud of her brother, and not a day has gone by that she doesn’t tell someone, a stranger, a family member or a friend of how proud she is of him. It melts the heart. Thank you so much for your story, you have such an amazing way with words…

    Reply
  67. Anne and Whitney: Up, Down and All Around says

    February 12, 2010 at 9:17 pm

    Beautiful Post! Beautiful Pictures! Awesome Chairs! my sister-in-law found your blog and shared it with me. We are almost 18 months into our journey with our little Whitney, who has the genetically enhanced 21st chromosome as well, and a wonderful big sister, Anne! I wanted to share an awesome post from Raising Reed, in case it will help you… http://raisingreid.blogspot.com/2009/12/conversation-between-me-then-when-we.html

    thanks for sharing your beautiful girls with us! (and your beautiful pictures!!!)

    Reply
  68. Anonymous says

    February 12, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    OMG babies with DS are just the cutest aren’t they?

    From a momma who knows…

    Reply
  69. Lora says

    February 12, 2010 at 9:33 pm

    I love your blog. Thank you for sharing your precious girls and your story. I so know what this is like and the bus analogy!! Even though my son’s situation is different. I will never forget the day he was diagnosed. And from that day on, he has been an incredible blessing and has taught us all so much!

    Reply
  70. Dwall says

    February 12, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    breathe. just breathe. remember that you have lots of post pregnancy hormones swirling around… mother nature can be unfair at times. be gentle with yourself.

    Reply
  71. Nicole says

    February 12, 2010 at 9:40 pm

    69. That’s my number. A few short hours from when I saw your post pop up while I was on the road, and I have to be comment #69,lol. And thank you, I’ve been waiting to get a good eyefull of those chairs!

    Andyway, more importantly…I think something just happened, like just in the last few days…and it’s a little bit scary, so don’t get mad at me…but…I think Lainey has turned into…a KID!!! Look at her! Running around with her pal’s hand in hers, watching over and entertaining her baby sister, wow. Just wow. I always seem to notice that moment with the littles in my life…when they start looking less like a baby and more like a kid. Craziness isn’t it, in the best kinda way??

    Thinking of you often, and hoping that damn bus gets off your block already 🙂

    Reply
  72. Aggie says

    February 12, 2010 at 9:44 pm

    Oh I forgot to mention how much I laughed over your blog and “competing with apples from Michigan”…OMG…perfect! 🙂

    Reply
  73. Marianne says

    February 12, 2010 at 9:47 pm

    I can’t believe Nella is a newborn. She’s just so perfect. And your little girl? Those big brown eyes are just amazing!

    Reply
  74. Anonymous says

    February 12, 2010 at 9:57 pm

    Nella couldn’t be any cuter…i love her beautiful eyes. and Lainey is so stylish! Great pictures.

    Reply
  75. Susan the Singer says

    February 12, 2010 at 10:09 pm

    Kelle, This is a really wonderful post. I LOVE what you did with the chairs! That room looks like so much fun!

    Lainey is simply adorable and I think Nella gets cuter every day.

    Reply
  76. Crystal says

    February 12, 2010 at 10:26 pm

    As a fellow mama of a princess, I am in love..man I want to kiss those girls cheeks:) Thank you for sharing your story, I have passed it along to many, as its been passed along to me…I absolutly believe that God chose you to raise this angel, and trusts that you are going to do an amazing job!

    On a lighter not, I absolutly love the trunk and suitecase!!

    Reply
  77. Jasmine says

    February 12, 2010 at 10:43 pm

    I am with you in your journey. Thank you.

    Jasmine
    Windmills and Tulps

    Reply
  78. Tammy B says

    February 12, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    I just have to tell you. I cannot get enough of that sweet little Nella. i could look at her all day. And her big sis too of course.

    And loved your dad’s comment. I can just see you guys, with a couple of beers, sitting in your chairs at the curb, and pointing and laughing at buses as they pass 🙂 What a nice picture in my mind to make me smile.

    Reply
  79. Joann says

    February 12, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    “We’re the four bestfriends that anyone could have…” I miss you and your precious littles so much already. That was a fabulous week. Glad I was able to help you “fake it ’til you make it.” And make it you will! No “riddles” there. Just truth. I so love you.

    Reply
  80. ASDmomNC says

    February 12, 2010 at 11:26 pm

    I really love how positive you are, but you know….it really is okay to feel sad sometimes. It really really is. Nella is a gorgeous baby (no doubt, I just want to nibble her little cheeks right off the screen), and you have much to be thankful for. Absolutely.

    Just don’t bury the bad feelings so deeply that they fester. Let them come, feel them, then move on. Michele hit the nail on the head when she said, “Kelle, in your attempts to see the good and be positive, try not to forget that you are allowed to be sad sometimes too. sad doesnt mean you arent 100% accepting of Nella and your new life, it just means you’re human.”

    By the way, LOVE those chairs. Excellent job feathering the nest.

    Reply
  81. Becky says

    February 12, 2010 at 11:29 pm

    Amazing, beautiful…totally inspirational.

    Reply
  82. Anonymous says

    February 12, 2010 at 11:32 pm

    I found your blog and have been absolutely mesmerized by the beauty of your writing, your photographs, the playlist and your GIRLS!

    I went through something difficult, and as I’ve gotten through it I realize more that my life is going to be what it is today because of it, and not in spite of it. I am so excited for you because I have this feeling that your life is going to take on a whole new level of beauty and joy because of this unexpected turn, not in spite of it. You are such an inspiration.

    I also wanted to tell you I have a friend whose daughter has DS and she does all of the stuff my daughter and her friends do, and they adore her. My heart pretty much bursts everytime I see her because she is just such a fantastic person, full of light.

    Reply
  83. Margaret says

    February 12, 2010 at 11:59 pm

    Hi Kelle:

    I have found your blog both painful and therapeutic. My son, Alex was born in August. He also has DS. Like you, we did not know beforehand. I think I could have written your exact story (though I doubt as well, or as beautifully). But the emotions are the same. It was so real – it hurt and helped all over again. I am also still finding my way.

    But Alex is wonderful and truly is a gift. He is now 6 months old, and I am growing (spiritually and emotionally) as he grows.

    A book that truly helped me was entitled “Gifts: Mothers reflect on How Children with Down Syndrome Enrich Their Lives”. I would be happy to send you a copy if you like. It is wonderful.

    If you ever want to talk – please feel free to contact me at:

    [email protected]

    PS: Of all the emotions on that very difficult day in August – love – was by far the strongest. Love for Alex, love from family and friends, love from Alex’s big brother – Will. It seems no matter what – love – always wins – and it continues…

    One last note:
    My husband and I were both so sad on that day – we thought it was so unfortunate…But Alex has brought us so much joy already. We were just laughing the other night saying – “maybe, just maybe we were the luckiest ones in the whole maternity ward that day and didn’t even know it.” Let’s let sweet little Nella work her magic!

    Sincerely,
    Margaret
    (Proud mom of Alex)

    Reply
  84. Anonymous says

    February 13, 2010 at 12:49 am

    Dear Kelle,

    Thanks so much for brightening my day once more with your beautiful daughters, and your beautiful home.

    You dress the girls in such cute clothes. I love Lainey’s green floral ‘retro’ dress and matching socks and shoes!

    I LOVE the chairs. Love, love, love, love them…

    Have a wonderful weekend.

    Linda in New Zealand.

    Reply
  85. Donna says

    February 13, 2010 at 1:02 am

    Beautiful! All of it is just BEAUTIFUL!!

    I have a beautiful gap-toothed granddaughter. Between our two gap-tooth girls Lauren Hutton better watch out!

    Reply
  86. ii says

    February 13, 2010 at 1:03 am

    just something to think about when you need to “fake it till you make it”. words from my wise mother, “walk fast and smile a LOT!” somehow, it works.

    Reply
  87. Anonymous says

    February 13, 2010 at 1:54 am

    Dear Kelle, Brett, “Big Sis” Lainey, and the sweetest wee cupcake Nella. Man, if there was ever to be a blog to ‘stumble across’ it would have to be this one! As a teacher, I have had the amazing honour to learn so much from the children I have taught, no more so than children who have been endowed with a special need. Their compassion for others, determination to succeed and their spark is what set these children apart; not their ‘special need.’
    All children are special, and all children have a need, to be embraced with a family who coccoons them in a blanket of love, trust, and above all acceptance whether they fit the societal norm of what ‘perfect’ is or not.
    Man; what a blessing that your beautiful Nella was gifted to you all; she is going to stand the world on it’s head and show us just how very VERY incredibly special she is indeed!

    Congratulations on your beautiful new arrival; thank you for your raw emotive honesty and for making us all sit back and view a corner of such a beautiful family life that we are often not priviledged to be a part of.

    Hugs all the way from New Zealand to you all xxxxxxxxx

    Reply
  88. Brianna says

    February 13, 2010 at 2:05 am

    Yes! The fake it till you make it is me too! After losing five children, but still having one to care for, I couldn’t wallow in grief in self pity. And while I still fake it once in awhile, I’m surely “making” it.

    Thank you for your beautiful words and photography. And also, I HAVE to know where you got those chairs.

    Bri

    Reply
  89. Bennance says

    February 13, 2010 at 2:06 am

    I’m a new reader to your blog, moved by your words and your story. I can only echo others’ words: beautiful writing, beautiful pictures.

    I support you with the “fake it till you make it” strategy. As my husband said last year during a prolongued hospital stay, “Self-pity is not a flattering accessory.”

    You continue to inspire others with your accessories of beauty, delight, honesty, and love. Thank you for bringing joy into our lives with the joy you find in your life.

    Reply
  90. All 4 My Gals says

    February 13, 2010 at 2:07 am

    I fell in love with those chairs in one of the pics that you took last time I was here. 🙂 Your space looks FANTASTIC!!! I want you to come decorate my home, take my girls pictures and let me love on those girls of yours! My four girls would LOVE that! Your babies are exquisite! Again, if you need anything at all regarding Nella… just talking to someone who understands, feel free to email me! [email protected]
    HUGS, Nicole

    Reply
  91. Golden says

    February 13, 2010 at 2:40 am

    You’re one beautiful mom blessed with beautiful girls. I really admire your strength.

    Kisses to your girls…

    Lots of love,

    Reply
  92. The Super Seven says

    February 13, 2010 at 3:08 am

    You are doing amazing…..I’m sure that Daddy is anxious to get home to his 3 girls…..especially those little ones. I love your photography. If I didn’t live in Nova Scotia I’d be bringing my family of 7 over as I would love a beautiful family picture. You are an inspiration for me to be a better mother and to really learn how to use my Canon XTi……thank you for everything!!

    Reply
  93. Jenna says

    February 13, 2010 at 3:18 am

    Kelle, I hope you are reading this.
    I found your story a couple weeks ago and it has changed me. You are more than just an amazing mother, photographer and writer, you are a teacher. You are teaching everyone who reads your story invaluable life lessons… how to be a better parent, a better person, how to find true, real, pure happiness.
    Your words prepare people for motherhood better than any baby books, teach people to live better than any self-help books… your stories beyond inspirational, they are life-changing.
    You know how there are certain songs that take complete and total control of your mind? The ones that hold you in a trance and pull your soul into depths only reached while listening to that certain song? Reading your story is the closest I’ve ever come to that unparalleled feeling… you have achieved something I once thought impossible. And you do it every day, with each entry. Your gift is amazing. So amazing I felt compelled to go back and read every single entry… from Lainey’s first Christmas to her drippy eyelash pictures to your family reunions and ladybug birthday. I read for hours. I couldn’t bring myself to close the page. I needed to start from the beginning to understand those moments leading up to today. What a beautiful journey you have had. Your girls will truly understand how much you love them when they read this, and that’s the best gift they’ll ever receive.
    Thank you for sharing your gift with the world. I wish everyone could read your words and have a Kelle in their life, to keep them grounded, inspired, make them better people. The world would truly be a better place.
    I can’t wait until I have my own little family, so I can teach them your lessons of life and capture those little moments as you do so perfectly.
    Keep telling your story… the world needs it.

    Reply
  94. Anonymous says

    February 13, 2010 at 3:22 am

    Kelle, you are truly an amazing woman! My daughter has led me to your blog and I can’t get enough of it. One thing that I truly believe from your blog is the Lainey and Nella are so very lucky to have you and your husband as parents. You are a true inspiration on how life should be lived, with love, true unconditional love. Thank you for opening up your life to me . . .with such grace! My best to all of you!!!

    Reply
  95. Stacy says

    February 13, 2010 at 3:27 am

    Kelle, someone posted a link to your blog in an online support group I belong to. You’ve inspired a lot of people!! Since you love analogies, here’s one for you:

    WELCOME TO HOLLAND

    by Emily Perl Kingsley

    Matthew and I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

    When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

    After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

    “Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

    But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

    The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

    So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

    It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

    But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

    And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

    But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

    I wish the very best for you and your beautiful family!

    xoxo,
    Stacy
    myheartsoutsidemybody.blogspot.com

    Reply
  96. Anonymous says

    February 13, 2010 at 3:46 am

    brillant. I love love love reading your posts, looking at your pics and hearing about your life! you are more interesting than many famous people out there.. I feel so connected to you.
    I was out for dinner with my husband tonight and I kept thinking about you and your beautiful family. I was so happy to see a new post from you.
    THANK YOU for sharing your life.
    You should publish all this stuff in books like your friend did. I would totally buy them!

    Reply
  97. Anonymous says

    February 13, 2010 at 3:50 am

    Baby feets! Yah!
    xo & hugs
    c

    Reply
  98. love says

    February 13, 2010 at 4:21 am

    i wasn’t going to comment, but shamelessly in love with my words? okay, fine.

    i’m an unrealistic optimist, too and it IS much more fun. i pray you continue that & that you feel His new mercies every single morning.

    your little nella is so precious and the pouty lip picture? CUTEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN.

    love those chairs WAY too much.

    Reply
  99. Bethany says

    February 13, 2010 at 5:01 am

    The moments will continue to come and go. I am experiencing a moment 4 years down the trail from you as I face an apraxia diagnosis for my baby girl … well, not so much a baby anymore. 🙂 But we weather the storm, and we move into sunlight, and then we weather it a bit more. Sort of like getting hit by your bus over and over. LOL. 🙂

    LOVE Home Goods. And I’m pretty sure I stalk our store enough to know we have all those same items at our store! LOL. I bought those frames in hot pink for my daughter’s room. I LOVE THOSE CHAIRS too! What furniture store are they from?

    Reply
  100. Anonymous says

    February 13, 2010 at 5:25 am

    I read your blog thru tears, not just a viewer, but someone who grew up with a downs syndrome brother. He turned 60 last year and we had a big party for him. He is still a innocent pure soul and the light of our family. My parents didn’t find out he was ds until he was a year old. at the time they were told he should be put away, but my parents wouldn’t do that. They brought him up as all of us were brought up… with love. He has brought such happiness to our lives and when I had children, they learned to be compassionate because of him. You are so special that God chose you to love this child. Do just just, Love her with all your heart and she will be just fine.

    Reply
  101. Mary says

    February 13, 2010 at 5:42 am

    Kelle,
    It’s Ok to be sad. Grieving a what you thought would be is natural and quite healthy. Bathing yourself in the positive is the BEST way to get out of it.
    Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and LOVE your girls. God takes care of the rest.
    With love and prayers from a MOM of a very special 17 year old daughter, not with downs but with significant special needs who surprised us as well. It’s the best surprise we have ever received.

    Reply
  102. mudflapmomma says

    February 13, 2010 at 5:55 am

    Oh, you dare me to comment, do you? I see how you work!

    Okay, since I doubt you are willign to give up either one of your snooogly bebes you must give me one of those chairs….

    And it gets better. I wish I could tell you how much so, but that soaring in your heart? It gets more and better and deeper and richer and even more breathtaking. Congratulations on making two of the most amazing, important people on Earth. No one but you could have done this.

    Reply
  103. Restless Housewife says

    February 13, 2010 at 6:36 am

    I had a choice between reading 4 different books I’m in the “middle” of, and chose to come to your blog to be inspired. Thank you.

    Reply
  104. Crissa Lucero says

    February 13, 2010 at 9:34 am

    I love your blog…I love your art…I love your life! Even though you don’t know me…and I don’t personally know you, you have touched my heart. And I cried with you reading your blog…and I smiled with you…and at some point…I realized that I also laughed with you. Thank you for sharing. You are a fabulous person…But you already knew that. 😉

    Reply
  105. The Sanchez Family says

    February 13, 2010 at 9:41 am

    I have always been a fan of the “fake it til you make it” club! I do the same and love how you explained it.

    I seriously want to come and just hang out in your “space”…beautiful home, beautiful girls, beautiful family!

    Reply
  106. Anonymous says

    February 13, 2010 at 10:24 am

    Thank you for letting us into your wonderful world. You have inspired me and reminded me of how big and beautiful our God really is. Your girls will grow up filled with so much love. You are an amazing mom, they are truly blessed to have you. Please know you are encouraging and touching many lives. God is using you in great ways!!!

    Reply
  107. Laura F. says

    February 13, 2010 at 10:43 am

    In those early days, I felt like each day was one step forward and one step back. And some days were two steps back. But the important thing was that the steps forward outnumbered the steps back! You are doing great and will get there, one day at a time and then it will just all fade away. A huge turning point for me was when Ian smiled for the first time. I remembered when my oldest smiled for the first time. I was so glad to get some feedback after all those weeks of no sleep! But when Ian smiled at me, I wept. I wept and we danced! That’s when the fun really begins! 🙂 In the meantime, take comfort in knowing that you are getting there, one day at a time. And that is one of the greatest gifts of Ian… learning that life is so much better lived one day at a time!

    Reply
  108. Amy says

    February 13, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    Beautiful pictures, as usual. Can’t wait to see you guys : )

    Reply
  109. Anonymous says

    February 13, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    I was brought to your blog a little love a week ago through a friends recommendation. Not knowing anything about your blog, I read the blog from Day 1-in 2007. It was like a book that I could not put down or get enough of. In a matter of a few days, I read each and every word and absorbed all of your beautiful pictures…..what a gift you have for painting your life through wonderful words and photography! A gift that I would love to posses! What a gift your incredibly family and friends are also….everyone she be that lucky!

    When I finally made it to Nella’s birth story, after reading everything else, I just knew it was meant to be. Nella picked you, Lainey, and your wonderful boys for a reason! I look forward to following your fabulous journey.

    Hugs and prayers your way!

    Reply
  110. [email protected] says

    February 13, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    I, too, can’t stop thinking about and praying for your family as the days go by. The other day I was getting frustrated with my little girl, and I was trying to remember how blessed I am with my children (sometimes I need a daily reminder – I’m not as positive as you, and oftentimes can’t fake it as long as I need to to Make It Real). I have been looking forward to your new posts with the beautiful pictures you share with us, the wonderful slices of sunshine that comprise your life. May I just say: I love Homegoods! And I LOVE those chairs! Props to your friend who made them. You created such a wonderful space, makes me want to rearrange my house (and go shopping)! I wish I could give each of you a BIG hug! I’m with ya on the new baby feet… <3

    Reply
  111. TRB Holt says

    February 13, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    What a wonderful way to start mu day, strolling through your beautiful ‘art gallery’.

    xo, Bug & Ruby’s Gram

    Reply
  112. Judy says

    February 13, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    Hi I’m a farm girl from Idaho. I just want you to know that I am diggin’ your post. You know, the subconscience part, about trying to be happy on the outside…….. One year ago, my husband had a biopsy for prostate cancer on the day his dad had an oncology appointment to tell us that he only had a few months to live. The prostate cancer test….positive. We had surgery, came home, his dad was hospitilized, passed away 4 days later and my sick sick hubby conducted the funeral with a cathater bag stuck to his leg. When hubby went down to the cancer center for his 6 week check up, they found skin cancer. (he had thyroid cancer 10 years ago) He slowly healed, but had many complications that were in the low 2% of happening. 2 months post surgery, my mom suffered and anurysm and stroke and we didn’t know if she would make it. She was in the hospital for 7 weeks. She is 68. She suffered damage in her balance center of her brain. Threw up for 3 months 6 times a day, and can’t walk without a walker…..not to dump my stuff on you, but for 1 year I have struggled with this exact thing you posted about. Oh my gosh! With your permission, I would like to use this on my blog. It is soooooo how I feel and I will link it to you of course. My subconscience wants to scream! My life will never be the same. Neither will yours. I had a litte DS boy as my next door neighbor at our last home, and the first time I went to their house, he climbed in the back of my truck. He was 8. I told him I needed to leave and he said “I wanna go with you.” That little guy stole my heart that very moment. He is precious and the greatest joy to his family. They are so privilaged to have them in their life. His is a specail gift from God and his mother has told me many times he is her GREATEST joy. He is pure joy. I love little Nella already. I just met her and she, to, has stolen my heart. She is beautiful. My belief is that these special DS kids are perfect, and they don’t need to go through the tests that we have to go through on this earth. Thank you for sharing. If you wanna see the grill marks on my face from my bus you can meet me at http://www.enjoy-lifes2short.blogspot.com Please email me if it is ok to use some of your post for my blog. I would love to introduce Nella to my friends….my email is [email protected] Thanks Friend!

    Reply
  113. Mags says

    February 13, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    Kelle:

    You move me. With every word you write and photo you post, you move me to tears. Not tears of sadness, but tears of understanding and joy. You describe so beautifully the birth of Nella, which is very much the way I felt with the birth of my Davis. Unlike you, I had a prenatal diagnosis, so, in a way, I had time to “prepare.” But even though I knew before he was born I still had to come to grips with the reality that Down syndrome was forever part of my new normal.

    Davis is now 3 ½. He is the youngest of five (the oldest of my brood being 16). I was so worried how having a brother with a disability would affect them. What I have learned over these 3 ½ years is that I was the one with the special needs. My older children are proud to call him their brother. They see no difference. They are more compassionate towards others, particularly the ones society sees as “different.” I get excited for families new to DS. I can honestly say congratulations on the birth of Nella, and I would love to give her a welcome to the world squeeze. Life won’t always be easy, it never is, but it will be great!

    The bus that keeps hitting you will hurt less and less. Eventually, you will no longer even feel it. Eventually, when you look at Nella, you won’t see the Down syndrome. That will take time, so give yourself a break. Keep “enjoying the small things.”

    Maggie Warren
    Winston-Salem, NC

    Gifts: Mothers Reflect on How Children with Down Syndrome Enrich Their Lives, edited by Kathryn Lynard Soper is excellent…like you have time to read.

    Oh, and I love the On Golden Pond music. It’s perfect!!!

    Reply
  114. Dana says

    February 13, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    you are amazing! Your stories where a perfect way for me to enjoy my morning coffee. Thank you!

    Reply
  115. Heather says

    February 13, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    I’ve been visiting your blog often over the past few days and thinking about our own daughter’s birth – so similar to yours. I’ve been trying to understand why the joy is so great and why every milestone my daughter makes is an absolute victory and celebration. Today I recalled the poem of joy and sorrow by Kahlil Gibran – do you know it? I think it captures it so beautifully – you cannot have one without the other and the deeper one is, the deeper the other becomes.

    Joy and Sorrow
    THEN a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.

    And he answered:

    Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

    And the selfsame well from which your laughter
    rises was often times filled with yourtears.

    And how else can it be?

    The deeper that sorrow carves into your
    being, the more joy you can contain.

    Is not the cup that holds your wine the very
    cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?

    And is not the lute that soothes your spirit,
    the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

    When you are joyous, look deep into your heart
    and you shall find it is only thatwhich has given
    you sorrow that is giving you joy.

    When you are sorrowful look again in your heart,
    and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

    Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,”
    and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
    But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

    Together they come, and when one sits alone with
    you at your board, remember that the other is
    asleep upon your bed.

    Verily you are suspended like scales
    between your sorrow and your joy.

    Only when you are empty are you at
    standstill and balanced.

    When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh
    his gold and his silver, needs must your joy
    or your sorrow rise or fall.

    I too struggled over how my older child would react to his sister, but I remember when my husband came home from the hospital after hearing the news and the neighbours all came running over to find out if we’d had a boy or a girl and he had to tell them about the diagnosis. They all stared and were so shocked, not knowing what to say while my 4-year-old son ran around shouting “I have a sister! I have a sister!”

    Now, almost 2 years later the bond between these two is unbelievable. They adore each other. He’s started to wonder why she doesn’t walk like her cousin, but it doesn’t make him love her any less. We call her the best baby in the world.

    It’s nice to see another best baby out there.

    Heather

    Reply
  116. In Nevada says

    February 13, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    You capture the best moments in a photo – so true of the moment. It is hard to believe that just one year ago we were experiencing the same thing. I remember how hard it was because for the most part I would be fine and than just find myself in tears. They were not really sad tears but just feeling a little overwhelmed by the context of our new situation. Over time, it really does ease. She is our daughter and not defined by Down Syndrome. We enjoy her for exactly who she is and I know you are too.

    Reply
  117. Brandy says

    February 13, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    I stumbled upon your blog last week and have been busy reading all your archives and lady you are amazing. I think you might have been someone wiser than us all in a past life.

    Both your girls are incredibly adorable and so are you.

    I do have to ask though, where do you get all the amazing baby clothes? Seriously Lainey has the most kick ass toddler clothes Ive ever seen!

    Reply
  118. 'Lis says

    February 13, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    K,
    Thank you. Thank you. I was spending my Saturday morning thinking about all the things I’d like to do, but couldn’t find the energy, inertia, will to do… and feeling bad about it. I followed a link to your blog from another blog and after reading for the past hour, I say thank you. Thank you for your bravery, your honesty, your humor, realness acceptance, grace, humility and willingness to share your thoughts and feelings unabashedly. I don’t think I have the courage to blog but I am grateful to you and others who do. You remind me that I am human with all the greatness and strengths and weaknesses that encompasses. Your love for your beautiful family, your creative talent for writing and photography are wonderful gifts. Thank you for sharing yourself. I am grateful. You have inspired me to be today. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

    -Alissa

    Reply
  119. Anonymous says

    February 13, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    Your sweet words and pictures capture the pure beauty of your family perfectly. I laughed and cried…I think at the same time!

    I wanted to share this passage with you..I am sure someone else probably has by now…

    “Welcome to Holland”
    By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.

    I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

    When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

    After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

    “Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

    But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

    The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

    So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

    It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

    But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

    And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away…because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But…if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

    You and your husband have certainly created two beautiful souls.

    sharing your joys and struggles from afar…
    Carrie
    Albany, NY

    Reply
  120. Mommaluvy says

    February 13, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    Congrats on your beautiful new baby girl!
    Your birth story was blasted through the Down Syndrome community! Which is how I found it. It was amazing. I have a gazillion links and stuff for you but could not find a contact on your Blog. So you can email me if you want.

    I am loving your pictures by the way!
    Lovely big sis and little sis!

    Congrats again on that LOVELY baby! Yes.. I agree new baby toes are the best art there is 🙂

    Reply
  121. Mommaluvy says

    February 13, 2010 at 6:22 pm

    Back again. Forgot to add that Our Samantha is 4 now. I am sure you have heard it 1 million times but I don’t think new moms ( families) of new babes with DS can hear it enough. Raise her as you have done Lainey. She may need a little more help now and then, but she will do most everything typical kids do. When she is 4 you will look back at this “bus” and see it as merely a pothole.

    You might visit Signing Times website and poke around in their blog. Different story but she may inspire you. And BTW.. Signing times videos will be great for Lainey and Nella. Enjoy those baby toes cause soon they will be up and running and putting on Sissy’s nice green shoes 🙂 <3

    Reply
  122. Proud Mommy Tara says

    February 13, 2010 at 6:26 pm

    Kelle,
    I was SO excited to see a new post! And to no surprise I am sitting here wetting the keyboard with tears yet again…you just move me in such a way…I so hope that you will never stop writing. Your words heal me. They literally are healing me. I am evolving as a mother because of your amazing inspiration. Nella is changing already! She is so alert and absolutely breath taking…And Lainey is the perfect big sister!!! So sweet and loving. Keep your head up high! You are doing such an extraorinary job!

    PS…I ADORE those chairs and the new accents! Great taste!
    ~Tara

    Reply
  123. Anonymous says

    February 13, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    I read and re read your posts. Like I said before – brilliant.
    I can’t wait to see you on Ellen or Oprah one day. You have SO much to teach the world!
    Happy Valentines Day to your beautiful family.

    Reply
  124. dig this chick says

    February 13, 2010 at 7:44 pm

    Enjoying the @#!*-ing Small Things Cape. I’m on it.

    Funny we just had this conversation…about the CHOICE to be half full or half empty. It’s why we were fast friends.

    Half full mutha fucka.

    Sorry to be so crass on your sweet blog but sometimes it is just so necessary to drive a point home.

    xo

    Reply
  125. Amber says

    February 13, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    your are so precious and uplifting. your little girls are very lucky to have you in your lives

    Reply
  126. Mommiesboys says

    February 14, 2010 at 12:47 am

    Kelle, thank you for having the courage to admit your sadness, weakness and fears. All while trying to juggle a new unforeseen adventure! Thank you for letting us take this journey with you! It so comforts those of us dealing with tough stuff that we are not alone! Your daughters are the beauty that God gives us each day! Hug your girls and know that they are the most precious gift!

    Reply
  127. Sara Plays House says

    February 14, 2010 at 2:12 am

    Life as art, indeed!
    And yes–those tiny little baby feet look absolutely scrumptious. Baby feet have always been my very favorite. 🙂

    Reply
  128. Jeannette says

    February 14, 2010 at 2:14 am

    I’m new to your blog…Renee Garcia brought me here and I’m in love! You and your girls are simply gorgeous! I don’t even see the Down’s in that precious baby:) Thank you for sharing your life with us readers!

    Reply
  129. Linda says

    February 14, 2010 at 3:14 am

    You have to love the great deals at Home Goods. And the Hangover. Ahhh, the simple things.

    I am a big fan of faking it until I can make it. We all have our moments, they come and go. Life is so beautiful, and we are so blessed. Thanks for continuing to be an inspiration and sharing your amazing pictures with us.

    Nella has the prettiest eyes. Love the close-up pictures.

    Reply
  130. Vonda says

    February 14, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    I have to tell you that my Noah (Ds) and I were looking at Nella’s photo’s again, and honest to God he looked at her and said “oh mommy I want to hold her and get her sugar”. Isn’t that sweet?

    Reply
  131. Lindsey says

    February 14, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    Hi! I just stumbled across your blog today… what an inspiring story you have. I loved Nella’s birth story – made me cry a lot! She is a beautiful girl and a blessing from God. Thank you for sharing all of your experiences, I hope it will help people to recognize the dignity of all people – no matter what they look like! I subscribed to your blog and I look forward to your updates! =) God bless!

    Reply
  132. Melissa says

    February 15, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    The second best thing to seeing each new blog entry (like a piece of my favorite candy…what a treat!) is reading your father’s comments. It’s no surprise where you get your eloquence. I’ve spent the better part of the last week or more going back to your older entries & feel like I’ve gained a surrogate family. I only wish that my family (& friends!) were half of what your’s are. I would say to be grateful that they are who they are, but I already know that you do 😉

    Reply
  133. Life with Kaishon says

    February 15, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    I can’t click away. Completely mesmerized by your magical days! Your girls are so beautiful!

    PS Homegoods is like my favorite place on the planet. Seriously. Favorite place.

    Reply
  134. Laura F. says

    February 16, 2010 at 4:12 am

    I realized that in an earlier comment I meant to say that those early days are TWO steps forward, one step back. And some days two steps back. But always moving forward!! it really does all just fade away and all you will see is your child and delight in every single thing she does. And your older daughter will continue to amaze and uplift you with her unconditional love. Today, my older son Joey made my heart swell. He is scared of the water and we are taking lessons now to help him overcome it. He is particularly afraid to get his face wet. Ian (our baby with DS) and I went to our first Mommy and Me swim class today and I dunked the poor guy 4 times and he was good (not totally happy but not all that upset — I am determined for him to not develop a fear of water!). When I called home after the class and Joey answered, he asked me how Ian did in swim class. He asked me if Ian got his face wet and I told him yes and that he did it four times. I was expecting Joey to be a bit jealous that his baby brother did something he has not done. But do you know what my sweet big boy said upon hearing that Ian got his face wet four times… he let out a loud, rousing, “YES!!!!!!!” And again, when I thought I could not love him more. Life is so, so good… so much better than I could have ever imagined… all because of a sweet gift of a baby who made us slow down, not miss a thing, and enjoy life one day at a time. Take care, Laura

    Reply
  135. Elizabeth says

    February 16, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    your photography captures truly beautiful moments. thank you for sharing your life and your home with us. i feel very blessed by your story, and i am now an official follower of your blog!

    Reply
  136. Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting says

    February 18, 2010 at 9:14 pm

    I would absolutely love to take photographs as wonderful as you do. I just purchased my first DSLR back in May, and am flailing about with it.

    You live just like I live, finding the joy in the little things. It’s what I blog about, too.

    I am so grateful to have found you. So much love for you and your family <3

    Reply
  137. DMD says

    February 18, 2010 at 10:33 pm

    Hi Kelle, wow, today’s blessing was finding you and your family via your blog. Thank you so much for the inspiration, for your honesty and your gift of words and photography. You’ve inspired me to be better. Thank you for all that you give on this blog, your words and pictures are so very precious, and for you to share them with the world, I just can’t thank you enough.

    Sorry, one more thing. PLEASE tell me about the chairs??? Did you buy them that way or did you cover them? They are wonderful.

    XO
    Donna

    Reply
  138. Anonymous says

    February 25, 2010 at 11:18 pm

    A friend of mine mentioned 2012 last night to me and it’s the first I heard about it so I jumped on here out of curiosity. I think it’s kind of sick and sounds like a bunch of skeptical jargon.
    I choose to live every day like it is the last because let’s be real, WHO THE HELL KNOWS what is going to happen or when it’s your time to go on. The past is history, the future is a mystery and now is a gift, thats why it’s called the present. It’s not healthy to sit around and trip out about when you will die. Stop wasting your time you have now.
    [url=http://2012earth.net
    ]Light Beings
    [/url] – some truth about 2012

    Reply
  139. Anonymous says

    March 28, 2010 at 3:24 pm

    I am so moved and touched by your incredible story. Here’s what I would like to share with you. One day I was picking up my granddaughter at her elementary school. While I was waiting, I saw there were some boys playing basketball in the gym. The youngest boy had DS. The older boys let him run around and chase them. I will never forget this scene. The DS boy was grinning from ear to ear and looked like he was having the time of his life. I have never seen such pure joy in a human being in my life. Never. It occurred to me that DS children may have a greater capacity for joy than anyone else.

    Reply
  140. Anonymous says

    March 28, 2010 at 3:24 pm

    I am so moved and touched by your incredible story. Here’s what I would like to share with you. One day I was picking up my granddaughter at her elementary school. While I was waiting, I saw there were some boys playing basketball in the gym. The youngest boy had DS. The older boys let him run around and chase them. I will never forget this scene. The DS boy was grinning from ear to ear and looked like he was having the time of his life. I have never seen such pure joy in a human being in my life. Never. It occurred to me that DS children may have a greater capacity for joy than anyone else.

    Reply

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